Monster High

• 26.06.2013 10:27 UTC+02:00
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My daughters love Monster High, to the point of obsession.

What? I hear you mumble, gentle reader.

Why Monster High of course! A high school whose students are the offspring of famous fictional monsters. They have dreadful, groan-worthy names, such as:

• Draculaura, the daughter of Count Dracula;
• Clawdeen Wolf, the daughter of the wolfman;
• Frankie Stein,* the daughter of Frankenstein's monster; and
• Clio de Nile, the daughter of the mummy.

Clio claims to be a true Egyptian princess, who naturally rules the halls and makes the rules. Just like a real princess. Presumably she's the daughter of Boris Karloff's Imhotep, who was at least a prince, rather than Arnold Vosloo's, who was only a high priest.

As for Frankie, she's more likely to have been manufactured than born. There is, to my admittedly limited knowledge at least, no mention that Victor Frankenstein took the trouble to augment his monster with fully-functioning wedding tackle; which would seem a curious attention to detail, even for the maddest of mad scientists.

The punning doesn't stop with the students' names, but extends to casketball; fearleading; and ghoulfriends, among others.

It may surprise you to learn that there's a tie-in with dolls based on the characters—or vice versa!—from none other than those nice people at Mattel:

The dolls are 24 cm (11 inches for the male dolls) tall. Their bodies are made from plastic, while their heads are made from soft PVC. They have various skin tones (blue, green, pink, brown, etc.) and each character has a unique head mold. Their hair is made of saran or kanekalon fibers, though the male dolls occasionally have molded plastic hair. The doll bodies are fully articulated, with removable forearms and hands.

Wikipedia

What Wikipedia tactfully overlooks is the build quality of these dolls. Or, rather, the lack of it. They may have removable forearms and hands, but the joints are tiny and the legs are held together through the body cavity; lose one and…well let's just say that Emily's Frankie Stein is now known as Frankie no legs.

Some things never change.

A merry monster Christmas...or a monster merry Christmas?

The low build quality is offset by the packaging; by necessity, to protect the delicate thing no doubt.

But, oh the joy of releasing these fragile dolls from the clutches of packaging designed by a Ph.D. in cardboard engineering and a glut of plastic-coated wire. Throw in a couple of excited girls who can't wait to play with their gifts, and Christmas is off to a pretty stressful start.