Toodle-pip!
HRH Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh, best known for his bon mots and unenviable driving skills, has died at the tragically young age of 99. His death occurred just two months shy of his 100th birthday so, unfortunately, he never became eligible to receive the telegram from his wife.
I've always been an ardent antimonarchist, but I had a soft spot for him. RIP YRH.