I think I've pissed myself

Titless

Those of us who scoffed at Elliot Page's commitment to joining the patriarchy, are laughing on the other side of our faces now. He's only gone and had a titectomy! Although, in true Page style, it's accompanied by a public announcement, in an interview with Oprah Winfrey. I'm assuming that Apple TV+ counts as public.

In a make-believe industry, in which pretenders—especially white males—are increasingly pressured to stay in their lane, and only pretend to be what they already are, Page's options for future roles are becoming further diminished. He's rather painted himself into a corner. No matter, there are plenty of other pretenders to fill the void, who can get by on talent, rather than everyone look at special and brave me attention-whoring.

But, in the unlikely event that anyone should make a film of my life story, Elliot Page would be perfect to play the metarole of everything that pisses me off about celebrity culture.