This is my truth

Angie or Bob?

The catchily-entitled Journal of Clinical Case Reports, Medical Images and Health Sciences is another web comic specialising in fleecing the gullible or desperate among the medical fraternity.

Angela Robert—or Robert Angela, who knows?—assures me that my manuscript will be reviewed by their international editorial board. These are the sad sacks who're also pressed in to work pro bono on tasks that would normally be carried out by paid staff in a reputable publishing house.

JCRMHS—that's how it appears online too, although IMO the acronym should be JCCRMIHS—is published out of Frisco, TX.* At least that's the mailing address, such as it is—no street address, no PO Box, just Frisco, Texas 75070, USA. Yet Angela's/Robert's timezone is not UTC-0500. Strangely enough, the email template code includes the following snippet: <span lang="EN-IN">.

How curious! It's almost as if more skeevy Indians were using clandestine practices, in their efforts to sodomise the integrity of the scientific record solely for profit. (thinking)

Date: Fri, 05 Aug 2022 20:26:34 +0000
Subject: No costs associated with publishing a manuscript: Journal of
 Clinical Case Reports, Medical Images and Health Sciences | ISSN: 2832-
 1286
From: "Journal of Clinical Case Reports, Medical Images and Health
 Sciences" <editor@medcasereportimages.me>
Reply-To: "Journal of Clinical Case Reports, Medical Images and Health
 Sciences" <angelarobert@jmedcasereportsimages.com>

This is the MailWizz template, courtesy of the highlighted tracking URL below.

Journal of Clinical Case Reports, Medical Images and Health Sciences Successful release of August edition Respected [FNAME], We kindly invite you to submit a manuscript for publication in “Journal of Clinical Case Reports, Medical Images and Health Sciences (ISSN: 2832-1286)". JCRMHS accepts Case Report/Clinical Images/Editorial/Review/Mini-Review/Short communication/Technical Notes/Perspectives and others. All manuscripts will be reviewed by the international Editorial Board and qualified reviewers. All accepted articles will be published online after proofreading and formatting. Publication Charges will be waived off, if you submit your Manuscript on or before August 23, 2022 (DOI charges are applicable). Note: If you need additional time for article submission, please give a reply to me. We accept all types of Articles. Looking forward to your valuable submission. Regards, Angela Robert Editorial Team
<img width="1" height="1" src="http://51.161.9.88/latest/index.php/campaigns/vn531a5hwvc20/track-opening/[snip]" alt="" />

* Again, whether spewing PDF files onto the internet counts as publishing is a matter for debate.

AngieBob returns after what seems like an eternity but was only six months. JC(C)RM(I)HS now sports an impressive impact factor of 1.6*, whatever that means.* I really hate it when people use asterisks, and then don't explain their relevance. It's not even indicated on their website. (grumpy)

Anyhow, thanks to my eminence and contri"bution I'm invited to avail myself of wai_ved publication char_ges, although I will still have to pay otherwise unspecified DOI char_ges. How could I ref_use?

Date: Wed, 01 Mar 2023 17:18:29 +0000
Subject: No manuscript publication char_ges: Journal of Clinical Case Reports,
 Medical Images and Health Sciences Reports (ISSN 2832-1286)
From: "Journal of Clinical Case Reports, Medical Images and Health Sciences
 Reports" <editor@ijaets.me>
Reply-To: "Journal of Clinical Case Reports, Medical Images and Health
 Sciences Reports" <jcrmhsjournal@gmail.com>
Respected [FNAME], Journal of Clinical Case Reports Medical Images and Health Sciences| (JCRMHS) An open access, peers reviewed, Academic and Research, Online and Print Journal ISSN: 2832-1286 Impact Factor: 1.6*. Based on your eminence and contri"bution towards the research community we request you to publish your work in our journal. You are invited to submit your paper for the Current Issue of our journal. Current Issue: Issue-05 (2023). Publication Char_ges will be wai_ved off, if you submit your Manuscript on or before March 09th, 2023 (DOI char_ges are applicable). Kindly attach the manuscript to this mail and support us. Regards, Angela Robert JCRMHS-Editorial Team
<img width="1" height="1" src="http://51.161.9.88/latest/index.php/campaigns/bx139h5mg5cfb/track-opening/[snip]" alt="" />

* Fuck all, in reality. The skeevies have their own impact factors that look good, and may fool the gullible. But as metrics go, they don't go far.

AngieBob returns with the same offer to wai_ve publication char_ges, although DOI char_ges remain to be paid. She's not the only one to make this generous offer; both Michael Johnson and Mira Weslie have done the same on behalf of Austin Journal of Surgery and International Journal of Clinical Images and Medical Reviews respectively. But none of them indicate exactly what these charges entail.

My distant recollection of publication in the traditional free-to-publish/pay-to-view model, is of no fees other than page charges for extras such as colour, additional images, etc. I wonder whether this DOI charge is another way of scraping the APC fee, or part thereof, by the back door, while offering the illusion of generosity? Predatory publishers are only in it for the love of the money. (thinking)

Respected [FNAME], Journal of Clinical Case Reports Medical Images and Health Sciences| (JCRMHS) An open access, peers reviewed, Academic and Research, Online and Print Journal ISSN: 2832-1286 Impact Factor: 1.6*. Based on your eminence and contri"bution towards the research community we request you to publish your work in our journal. You are invited to submit your paper for the Current Issue of our journal. Current Issue: Issue-03 (2023). Publication Char_ges will be wai_ved off, if you submit your Manuscript on or before June 20th, 2023 (DOI char_ges are applicable). Kindly attach the manuscript to this mail and support us. Regards, Angela Robert JCRMHS-Editorial Team
<img width="1" height="1" src="http://51.161.9.88/latest/index.php/campaigns/gs4957l64jdad/track-opening/[snip]" alt=3D"" />

Opening her message to reply, I expected something a little more personal than this. I guess AngieBob's shitlist or template is screwed somehow.

Respected Doctor, Journal of Clinical Case Reports Medical Images and Health Sciences| (JCRMHS) An open access, peers reviewed, Academic and Research, Online and Print Journal ISSN: 2832-1286 Impact Factor: 1.6*. Based on your eminence and contri"bution towards the research community we request you to publish your work in our journal. You are invited to submit your paper for the Current Issue of our journal. Current Issue: Issue-03 (2023). Publication Char_ges will be wai_ved off, if you submit your Manuscript on or before June 20th, 2023 (DOI char_ges are applicable). Kindly attach the manuscript to this mail and support us. Regards, Angela Robert JCRMHS-Editorial Team
Date: Sun, 28 May 2023 11:17:33 +0200
Subject: Re: No Publication Char_ges - Journal of Clinical Case Reports,
 Medical Images and Health Sciences (ISSN 2832-1286)
To:  "Journal of Clinical Case Reports, Medical Images and Health Sciences"
 <jcrmhsjournal@gmail.com>
Dear Angela Robert, I note your generous offer to waive the APC fees for my manuscript within the given time. But can you please indicate how much the DOI charges are? I have to obtain budgetary permission from my management. Sincerely,

I'd completely forgotten about AngieBob in the almost a month it's taken for her to reply. And that DOI charge sure as hell looks like an APC fee to me!

From: Angela Robert <jcrmhsjournal@gmail.com>
Date: Fri, 23 Jun 2023 12:26:10 +0530
Subject: Re: No Publication Char_ges - Journal of Clinical Case Reports,
 Medical Images and Health Sciences (ISSN 2832-1286)
Respected Doctor, Thank you for your email. For all the invited submissions, we are charging only 475 USD towards the DOI and manuscript processing charges (As mentioned in our invitation) and submit the word document in "TIMES NEW ROMAN" format. All other charges are waived. Also, in this situation we are not receiving any funds from them to manage the expenses of publications. Kindly understand the scenario and support us by attaching the manuscript to this email. Will look forward to your submission. Angela Robert | Editorial Manager Journal of Clinical Case Reports, Medical Images and Health Sciences

Interesting. I was on the BCC list to AngieBob's reminder. I wonder if I'm not the only one playing her along? Of course, she could just be an idiot.

From: Angela Robert <jcrmhsjournal@gmail.com>
Date: Thu, 29 Jun 2023 11:24:54 +0530
Subject: Yet to receive the manuscript
To: undisclosed-recipients:;
Respected Doctor , Thank you in advance! With reference to our previous conversation, we want to appraise you to the fact that we have yet to receive the manuscript for publication. Kindly let us know the status of submission. Hence, we request you to kindly look into the matter and attach the manuscript to this email at the earliest. Regards, Angela Robert JCRMHS-Editorial Team Journal of Clinical Case Reports Medical Images and Health Sciences

But I'm bored with her now, so it's time to cut her adrift.

Date: Thu, 29 Jun 2023 09:20:56 +0200
Subject: Re: Yet to receive the manuscript
To: Angela Robert <jcrmhsjournal@gmail.com>
Dear Angela Robert, I have conferred with my more experienced colleagues, who inform me that there are no DOI charges incurred during publication. $475 looks suspiciously like APC fees, and we doubt the truth of what this sum represents. Therefore, I have been advised to place my work elsewhere. Sincerely

AngieBob's response makes little sense. Most of what she describes would be classed as article processing, and therefore subject to APC fees. I think she's trying to pull a fast one.

Now, it could be that I missed the 20th June deadline, so the generous offer no longer holds, but that was only because she replied to my original request three days after it'd passed. Oh, and I don't have a manuscript, but she doesn't know that.

I'm just gonna leave it here.

From: Angela Robert <jcrmhsjournal@gmail.com>
Date: Thu, 29 Jun 2023 20:38:48 +0530
Subject: Re: Yet to receive the manuscript
Respected Doctor , Thanks for your email. Since processing of documents, indexing, generating DOI, hosting the content and making it available for global reach, requires considerable expense. We are not supported by external funding and run through the minimal processing charges paid by the author.instead of precise APC. Hope you understand us and look forward to hearing from you. Regards, Angela Robert JCRMHS-Editorial Team

AngiBob's back, although I have no idea who Mira is. Interestingly, albeit not very, the email headers give her timezone and language as India and Indian English, the latter repeated in the body element, but other elements within the message body try to pretend US English. Strange. (shrug)

<body lang=EN-IN> <span lang=EN-US…></span> 
From: <mira@jccasereports.org>
Subject: will you help us?
Date: Wed, 1 Nov 2023 12:21:36 +0530
Content-Language: en-in
Respected Doctor, Hope you are doing well. Journal of Clinical Case Reports Medical Images and Health Sciences with ISSN 2832-1286 and Impact Factor 1.6* is an Open Access Peer reviewed journal accepting manuscripts in all the aspects of Clinical and Medical Sciences. We cordi’ally invite all Scientists, Researchers, Academicians and Doctors to participate by contri''buting their unpublished work which accepts Case Reports, Reviews/Mini Reviews, Short Commentaries, Editorials, Perspectives etc.,. Publication Cha''rges will be wai''ved off, if you submit your Manuscript on or before November 15, 2023. (DOI char''ges are applicable) Attach the manuscript to this mail. Regards, Angela Robert

But I thought I'd channel a greater wit than I in my reply.*

Date: Wed, 01 Nov 2023 11:33:40 +0100
Subject: Re: will you help us?
To: <mira@jccasereports.org>
Dear Angela Robert, I would love to help you in your worthy endeavours. The problem, however, is that you are only interested in science, and I am only interested in money. Sincerely,

* George Bernard Shaw may, or may not, have said to Samuel Goldwyn, referencing MGM's motto, Ars Gratia Artis: You are only interested in art, and I am only interested in money.