Square pegs, round holes
Six Sigma (6σ) is a methodology for manufacturing process improvement. It's been successfully used to reduce failures, and thereby increase efficiency, which saves money. MegaCorpUSA likes saving money. So, duly, MegaCorpUSA introduced 6σ to the workplace.
But, not just in manufacturing, for which its quantitative metrics-based approach was developed. Oh no. Because, if you're high enough up the MegaCorpUSA organisation, then one size fits all: something that works well somewhere, will work well everywhere. No?
And, thus, the dull thud of square pegs being hammered into round holes, can be heard in offices across the company. I kid you not, we have to work in teams to identify areas where efficiencies can be introduced; including a team of office professionals—they used to be called secretaries in the olden days—who've spent months developing a work process for photocopying. Photocopying, FFS! (SMH)
One of my colleagues worked for six months on a project which, he estimated, cost $250,000 in employees' time, and delivered a massive $37,000 in savings. Sweet mother of Christ! (LOLZ)
Of course, some people love work process. It means that they don't have to think, and can never be at fault if things go wrong. They're more generally known as dullards. I asked one such individual for advice on a problem. Her response was for me to consult the work process document on the intranet. MegaCorpUSA's intranet is the best place to hide things so that no one can find them. And it's not as if she didn't know what I was talking about, she'd led the team that wrote the bloody thing!
I went through something similar to this 6σ nonsense at MegaCorpGB, in the early '90s. Back then, it was called Total Quality Management, or TQM; although us peons called it Total Waste of Time, TWOT. Management established corrective action teams, CAT, to identify inefficiencies and develop remedial procedures. When they spawned subteams, some bright spark had the idea of calling them kittens. Fwuffy, ikkle poody-tats…ahhhhh.
And, in another ten or twenty years, when all of this is forgotten, we'll repeat the whole charade with the next big idea in process efficiency. Still, at least it keeps us off the streets.