Thoracotomy
The troubles of Italian ex-prime minister Silvio Burlesqueoni Berlustconi Berlusconi never seem to be far from the headlines. Currently he's defending himself against charges that he abused his term in office, and paid for sex with an underage prostitute. Although, in his defence, he claims that he didn't have sex with her. And didn't know that she was underage. And he was never alone in the same room as her.*
For her part, the young lady in question, Karima El-Mahroug, denies ever having had sex with Mr Berlusconi. And I really can't say that I blame her; I'd probably do the same.
That's Miss El-Mahroug—also known by her Italian stage name of Ruby Rubacuori, Ruby the Heart Stealer
—to the right, in a couple of unguarded, no make-up moments.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm no oil painting myself. Nor is Mr Berlusconi, although he makes up for that with his money charm and wit. But I really do think that the only way she could steal hearts is with the aid of rib cutters.
* I may have made up that last part.