And it's come to this

Enriching women's health redux

Laura Oliveira had stopped peddling Gynec-2022 before I began noting date headers for my investigation into whether the harlots of 150 South Wacker Drive actually plied their trade on the streets of the Windy City—answer: they don't, and Laura's no different—but she's back! Now with new-and-improved Gynec-2023 which, like the imminent Gynec-2022, is to be held in Orlando, FL.

Following this coming October's conference theme, Enriching Women's Health Through Innovations in Gynaecology, next April's will be…err…Enriching Women's Health Through Innovations in Gynaecology. I guess it's an important enough issue that it can't be adequately covered in just one conference. Then again, I'm no expert, so what do I know? (shrug)

Anyhow, while I was asked to be a speaker at Gynec-2022, my magnificent consistent research in the field of Gynecology [sic] has elevated me to the position of organising committee member. Not only am I incredulous, I'm beginning to think that I should use a VPN while conducting future [cough] research. (embarrassed)

Date: Thu, 14 Jul 2022 18:30:45 +0000 (UTC)
From: "Gynec 2023 | Orlando, FL, USA" <gynecology@int-conferences.com>
Subject: A chance to collaborate
Reply-To: "Gynec 2023 | Orlando, FL, USA" <gynecology@int-conferences.com>
Good Day. Hope you are fine in these tough times. We are pleased to invite you to the “Global Conference on Gynecology & Womens Health” scheduled during April 20-22, 2023 in Hybrid Format. HYBRID EVENT: You can participate in person at Orlando, USA or Virtually from your home or work. The theme chosen for this year is “Enriching Women's Health Through Innovations in Gynaecology.” Thinking about your profile, and dependent on your magnificent consistent research in the field of Gynecology, we would like to take the privilege to honor you with the position of Organizing Committee Member with free Registration. As a member of the scientific committee, you can chair/co-chair any scientific session of your interest, based on your research expertise you can modify the scientific program and recommend potential speakers that are relevant to the conference's topic and theme. For more details, visit Conference Website The congress will be a dynamic, innovative, and highly engaging conference that informs its delegates of the latest scientific developments. We would be happy to have you present at this congress and will be pleased to hear your thoughts and opinions in this direction. We would appreciate it, if you would send us the title of your talk as a positive acknowledgement. We look forward to working with you to make Gynec-2023 a great success and a memorable event. Please do not hesitate to contact me for any questions you may have. With Best Regards Laura Oliveira Program Manager | Gynec-2023 Email: gynecology@scientific-meetings.com Phone: + 1 (702) 988-2320 WhatsApp: +1 (540) 709-1879 -------------------------------- 150 South Wacker Drive #2400 Chicago, IL 60606, USA Disclaimer: If you don't want to receive any further emails from us, please respond back with remove/opt out or click to Unsubscribe

Well, that was quick. In the course of only three days, I've been demoted to speaker. I guess the organising committee positions were so popular that they were snapped up PDQ. At least the position of speaker involves less work. And, after all, less work is less work! (thumbup)

I'm still curious as to how the theme of Gynec-2023 will reflect that of Gynec-2022 though. I thought I'd enquire, but I doubt that I'll receive an intelligible or relevant reply. I shall update further if I receive anything at all.

Note also how Laura's timezone has changed, from UTC+00:00 to India. Either she's returned to the Hyderabad whorehouse, or…?

Date: Sun, 17 Jul 2022 08:17:30 +0530
From: "Gynec 2023 | Orlando, FL, USA" <events@conferencemagazine.biz>
Reply-To: "Gynec 2023 | Orlando, FL, USA" <newsletter@magnusevents.biz>
Subject: Join International cast of speakers
Greetings for the day. Hope this mail finds you in the best of health and spirit. We are delighted to announce “Global Conference on Gynecology & Womens Health” which will be taking place in a hybrid format due to the pandemic, and will be held during April 20-22, 2023 at Orlando, USA and virtually. The conference will be centred on the theme "Enriching Women’s Health Through Innovations in Gynaecology". By going through your work in the field of Gynecology, our scientific committee would like to offer you the position of Speaker. For more details, please go through Conference Website Gynec-2023 aspires to accelerate scientific breakthroughs by providing a multidisciplinary venue for interaction with recognised scientists, researchers, academicians, educators, healthcare professionals and industry giants from around the world. At this congress, a series of talks, poster presentations, workshops, discussions, and networking events will keep you up to date on the latest developments while also enabling you to learn and establish new connections. We look forward to joining together either virtually or in person at Orlando, USA to celebrate the past decade advancements in the field. We would greatly appreciate it, if you could submit your abstract as a positive acknowledgement to this mail. We would be glad to answer any questions you may have and provide necessary clarifications where needed. We look forward to receiving a favourable consideration from you. Best Personal Regards Laura Oliveira Program Manager | Gynec-2023 Email: gynecology@scientific-meetings.com Phone: + 1 (702) 988-2320 WhatsApp: +1 (540) 709-1879 -------------------------------- 150 South Wacker Drive #2400 Chicago, IL 60606, USA Disclaimer: If you don't want to receive any further emails from us, please respond back with remove/opt out or click to Unsubscribe
Date: Sun, 17 Jul 2022 09:39:42 +0200
Subject: Re: Join International cast of speakers
To: "Gynec 2023 | Orlando, FL, USA" <newsletter@magnusevents.biz>
Dear Laura Oliveira Thank you for your kind invitation to attend your auspicious event, the theme of which is very interesting, and at the cutting edge of current concerns in women’s health: “Enriching Women’s Health Through Innovations in Gynaecology”. I seem to recall that the theme for the upcoming Gynec-2022 is also “Enriching Women’s Health Through Innovations in Gynaecology”. This is certainly an evolving hot topic. Can you please advise as to how the common themes will be played across the two events? Sincerely,

Aha! It appears that Gynec-2022 has been postponed due to circumstances beyond our control, hence the appearance of its critical theme in Gynec-2023. Would it take an arch cynic to speculate whether these circumstances included, or were indeed limited to, an absence of sufficient interest?

Note that, while I replied to Laura's email directly at newsletter@magnusevents.biz, she responded from a completely new mail address. Odd, that. (confused)

Date: Mon, 18 Jul 2022 12:08:36 +0000 (UTC)
From: "Gynec 2023 | Orlando, FL, USA" <gynecology@magnusconference.com>
Subject: Request for Abstract Submission: Gynec 2023 | Hybrid Event | Orlando,
 USA
Thank you for the response. Due to some circumstances beyond the organizer control, “Global Conference on Gynecology & Womens Health” (Gynec 2022) has been postponed to April 20-22, 2023 at Orlando, USA and Online. Kindly let us know your speaker interest by submitting your abstract as per attached template. For abstract submission, visit: https://gynecology.magnusconferences.com/submit-abstract We look forward to hear back from you. Regards Laura Oliveira Conference Manager

Clearly desperate for bums on seats, Laura's not going to let it go easily. But I opened her message in view source mode, without rendering the tracking images. So she'll never know whether this time was also a bad time.

Date: Mon, 25 Jul 2022 09:34:15 +0000 (UTC)
From: "Gynec 2023 | Orlando, FL, USA" <gynecology@magnusconference.com>
Subject: Request for Abstract Submission: Gynec 2023 | Hybrid Event | Orlando,
 USA
My last mail must have reached you at a bad time so that I am following up. Thank you for the response. Due to some circumstances beyond the organizer control, “Global Conference on Gynecology & Womens Health” (Gynec 2022) has been postponed to April 20-22, 2023 at Orlando, USA and Online. Kindly let us know your speaker interest by submitting your abstract as per attached template. For abstract submission, visit: https://gynecology.magnusconferences.com/submit-abstract Awaiting for your quick response. Regards Laura Oliveira Conference Manager

I didn't respond to her last missive, so she's re-replied to my question of 17.07.2022. This time, I opened her message so as to activate the tracker and let her know that there's a live one here.

I even threw in a little reply. Just to play her along.

I'm so mean I could hug myself.

Date: Wed, 03 Aug 2022 07:12:17 +0000 (UTC)
From: "Gynec 2023 | Orlando, FL, USA" <gynecology@magnusconference.com>
Subject: Request for Abstract Submission: Gynec 2023 | Hybrid Event | Orlando,
 USA
I'm sure you must be really busy, and I don't want to seem interrupting. Hope you can find a few minutes on this. Appreciate your time. Due to some circumstances beyond the organizer control, “Global Conference on Gynecology & Womens Health” (Gynec 2022) has been postponed to April 20-22, 2023 at Orlando, USA and Online. Kindly let us know your speaker interest by submitting your abstract as per attached template. For abstract submission, visit: https://gynecology.magnusconferences.com/submit-abstract Waiting for your earliest response. Regards Laura Oliveira Conference Manager
Subject: Re: Request for Abstract Submission: Gynec 2023 | Hybrid Event |
 Orlando, USA
To: "Gynec 2023 | Orlando, FL, USA" <gynecology@magnusconference.com>
Dear respected Laura Oliveira, Thank you kindly for the advice on Gynec 2022. It is a shame, but I do understand that the best time to visit Orlando is from mid-January to April, so perhaps this change is for the better. Sincerely,

And some fell on stony ground…

Date: Wed, 03 Aug 2022 13:21:27 +0000 (UTC)
From: "Gynec 2023 | Orlando, FL, USA" <gynecology@magnusconference.com>
Subject: RE: Request for Abstract Submission: Gynec 2023 | Hybrid Event | Orlando,
 USA
Thank you for understanding. Kindly submit your abstract as per the attached sample file to proceed further. To submit abstract visit: https://gynecology.magnusconferences.com/submit-abstract Awaits your valuable submission. Regards Laura Oliveira Conference Manager

Her last email didn't reach me at a bad time, or at least no worse than any other. But it's been over a month since we corresponded, and to be honest I'd forgotten what we were discussing. Still, it's nice to rekindle our relationship after so long.

Date: Wed, 14 Sep 2022 11:50:02 +0000 (UTC)
From: "Gynec 2023 | Orlando, FL, USA" <gynecology@magnusconference.com>
Subject: Follow up on Abstract Submission: Gynec 2023 | Hybrid Event | Orlando,
 USA
My last mail must have reached you at a bad time so that I am following up. Kindly submit your abstract as per the attached sample file to proceed further. To submit abstract, visit: https://gynecology.magnusconferences.com/submit-abstract Looking forward to hearing from you. Regards Laura Oliveira Conference Manager
Date: Wed, 14 Sep 2022 14:42:33 +0200
Subject: Re: Follow up on Abstract Submission: Gynec 2023 | Hybrid Event |
 Orlando, USA
To: "Gynec 2023 | Orlando, FL, USA" <gynecology@magnusconference.com>
Dear Ms Oliveira, Doesn’t time fly? Summer is almost over, it seems too soon. I hope that you had a nice time. Best wishes,

Laura Oliveira also had a nice summer. I think we're developing a bond here. Would it be too creepy-stalker to ask her if she's also attending the conference?

Yeah…I thought so.

It's probably best to leave her with a wistful longing for what might have been. A beautiful relationship unsullied by her ever having to set eyes upon my Marilyn Manson-like fizzog.

Date: Thu, 15 Sep 2022 18:58:42 +0000 (UTC)
From: "Gynec 2023 | Orlando, FL, USA" <gynecology@magnusconference.com>
Subject: RE: Follow up on Abstract Submission: Gynec 2023 | Hybrid Event | Orlando,
 USA
Thank you for the mail. Yes, we had a nice time. As an initial step towards participation we request you to share your work in the form of an abstract. For abstract submission, visit: https://gynecology.magnusconferences.com/submit-abstract Awaits for your valuable submission. Regards Laura Oliveira Conference Manager

Perhaps Laura's more serious about this than I imagined. Within two weeks she's following up on our date with destiny. I don't think I have the heart to break it to her, but not only am I taken, I have no intention of going to Orlando. Ever.

Date: Tue, 27 Sep 2022 12:07:30 +0000 (UTC)
From: "Gynec 2023 | Orlando, FL, USA" <gynecology@magnusconference.com>
Subject: RE: Follow up on Abstract Submission: Gynec 2023 | Hybrid Event | Orlando,
 USA
I’m writing to follow up on our last conversation As an initial step towards participation we request you to share your work in the form of an abstract. For abstract submission, visit: https://gynecology.magnusconferences.com/submit-abstract Awaits for your valuable submission. Regards Laura Oliveira Conference Manager

Laura assumes that her email got buried in my inbox. Incorrect assumption. It got posted here, then deleted. Just like this one!

Date: Wed, 12 Oct 2022 11:28:33 +0000 (UTC)
From: "Gynec 2023 | Orlando, FL, USA" <gynecology@magnusconference.com>
Subject: RE: Follow up on Abstract Submission: Gynec 2023 | Hybrid Event |
 Orlando, USA
I just wanted to follow up on our previous conversation. I'm assuming that you are either busy or my email got buried in your inbox. As an initial step towards participation we request you to share your work in the form of an abstract. For abstract submission, visit: https://gynecology.magnusconferences.com/submit-abstract Awaits for your valuable submission. Regards Laura Oliveira Conference Manager

Replying to my message of 14.09, Laura once again wonders whether her message got buried in my inbox. It didn't, it got buried in my junk mail folder. And now it's buried in electronic damnation. Phzzt!

Date: Tue, 15 Nov 2022 10:04:58 +0000 (UTC)
From: "Gynec 2023 | Orlando, FL, USA" <gynecology@magnusconference.com>
Subject: Reminder for Abstract Submission: Gynec 2023 | Orlando, USA
I just wanted to follow up on our previous conversation. I'm assuming that you are either busy or my email got buried in your inbox. As an initial step towards participation we request you to share your work in the form of an abstract. For abstract submission, visit: https://gynecology.magnusconferences.com/submit-abstract Awaits for your valuable submission. Regards Laura Oliveira Conference Manager

Replying once again to my message of 14.09, Laura returns to my junk mail folder.

Date: Wed, 30 Nov 2022 12:20:02 +0000 (UTC)
From: "Gynec 2023 | Orlando, FL, USA" <gynecology@magnusconference.com>
Subject: Reminder for Abstract Submission: Gynec 2023 | Orlando, USA
My last mail must have reached you at a bad time so I am following up. As an initial step towards participation we request you to share your work in the form of an abstract. For abstract submission, visit: https://gynecology.magnusconferences.com/submit-abstract Awaits for your valuable submission. Regards Laura Oliveira Conference Manager

Again replying to my message of 14.09.2022, Laura Oliveira is checking in to find out…something. Which is very good of her, it shows she cares…about something.

Date: Fri, 16 Dec 2022 13:13:00 +0000 (UTC)
From: "Gynec 2023 | Orlando, FL, USA" 
Subject: Follow up: Reminder for Abstract Submission: Gynec 2023 | Orlando,
 USA
Thought I would just check in and find out. As an initial step towards participation we request you to share your work in the form of an abstract. For abstract submission, visit: https://gynecology.magnusconferences.com/submit-abstract Awaits for your valuable submission. Regards Laura Oliveira Conference Manager

Lesser mortals would've given up by now, but not my luscious Laura. Our summer love must've meant more to her than it did to me. Hey ho, love 'em and leave 'em; that's me.

I don't think it would be fair to keep her hanging on until April. Besides, I don't need her repeatedly dropping into into my mailbox every fortnight.

Date: Tue, 03 Jan 2023 10:38:46 +0000 (UTC)
From: "Gynec 2023 | Orlando, FL, USA" <gynecology@magnusconference.com>
Subject: Follow up: Reminder for Abstract Submission: Gynec 2023 | Orlando,
 USA
I am following up on our previous conversation. As an initial step towards participation we request you to share your work in the form of an abstract. For abstract submission, visit: https://gynecology.magnusconferences.com/submit-abstract Awaits for your valuable submission. Regards Laura Oliveira Conference Manager

What's the betting that she'll take this as an opportunity to remind me of the online component of the conference?

Date: Tue, 03 Jan 2023 12:54:36 +0100
Subject: Re: Follow up: Reminder for Abstract Submission: Gynec 2023 |
 Orlando, USA
To: "Gynec 2023 | Orlando, FL, USA" <gynecology@magnusconference.com>
Dear Laura Oliveira, Thank you for reaching out to me again. I have given this great thought and soul-searching. While April is a perfect time to visit Orlando for the best of the weather, I understand that mosquitoes are also a major problem. I suffer badly from these pests, so I have decided not to attend. Best wishes for a successful GYNEC-2023! Sincerely,

I know, it was obvious that she'd come back with this response. You can't blame the bitch for trying.

In my deliberately vague response, I borrowed heavily from a reply to Sharon Carter over WOC 2022, which incidentally was also slated for the Floridian cesspit of Orlando.* You have to read between the lines to see this as a brush-off. Let's see if Laura gets the hint.

I doubt she will. Sharon didn't.

Date: Tue, 03 Jan 2023 13:55:43 +0000 (UTC)
From: "Gynec 2023 | Orlando, FL, USA" <gynecology@magnusconference.com>
Subject: Re: Reminder for Abstract Submission: Gynec 2023 | Orlando, USA
Thank you for your mail. We regret to hear about your absence at this event. We understand your concern, as Gynec 2023 is a hybrid event, you also have an opportunity to attend the conference online from your desk. Kindly let us know your possible opportunity. Hoping to hear a positive response from your side. Have a good day! Regards Laura Oliveira Conference Manager
Date: Tue, 03 Jan 2023 18:04:37 +0100
Subject: Re: Reminder for Abstract Submission: Gynec 2023 | Orlando, USA
To: "Gynec 2023 | Orlando, FL, USA" <gynecology@magnusconference.com>
Dear Laura Oliveira, Thank you for reminding me that Gynec 2023 is a HYBRID conference. I believe, however, that there's nothing quite like meeting your colleagues, fellow enquiring minds, to discuss the burning issues in Enriching Women's Health Through Innovations in Gynaecology face-to-face over coffee. Those attending online are at a disadvantage when it comes to the cut-and-thrust of the enthralling discussions held over the break periods and dinner. Wouldn't you agree? Sincerely,

* With apologies to the denizens of O-Town, but if you let these shits in, who's to blame? Not me, that's for sure. (shrug)

Gynec 2024

I guess I should be flattered? (shrug)

Laura Oliveira recalled, incorrectly, that I'd been interested in attending Gynec 2023 and has written with my personal invitation to Gynec 2024. What a lucky, lucky me I am.

Date: Thu, 10 Aug 2023 09:32:53 +0000 (UTC)
From: Gynec 2024 | Hybrid Event <gynecology@magnusconference.com>
Subject: [snip]: Join us at Upcoming Scientific Conference: Gynec 2024 |
 Singapore
We hope this mail finds you well. As you were interested in our previous edition of Gynec conference, but were unable to join. We would like to extend invitation to our upcoming conference 2nd Edition of Global Conference on Gynecology & Womens Health scheduled to held as a hybrid event during March 21-23, 2024 at Singapore or Online. For more information, please visit: https://gynecology.magnusconferences.com If you are interested in being a speaker or delegate, kindly let us know to assist you. Looking forward to hear from you. Regards Laura Oliveira Conference Manager
<img src="https://u13061076.ct.sendgrid.net/wf/open?upn=[snip]" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style=3D"height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/>

The only merit in Laura's new invitation is the recognition of Singapore as a beautiful city. The rest is just the same old OB/GYN bullshit.

Date: Fri, 29 Sep 2023 07:11:25 +0000 (UTC)
From: Gynec 2024 | Hybrid Event <gynecology@magnusconference.com>
Subject: Gynec 2024: Speaker Opportunities: Be a Voice for Women's Health |
 Singapore and Online
Greetings from Gynec 2024!! We trust this message finds you in good health. It is our privilege to extend a cordial invitation for you to serve as a distinguished speaker at the 2nd Edition of the Global Conference on Gynecology and Women's Health (GYNEC 2024), to be held in Singapore and online from March 21 to March 23, 2024. Your remarkable expertise and contributions in the field of Gynecology, Reproductive Medicine, Obstetrics are highly regarded and we believe that your insights would greatly enrich our conference. Gynec 2024 is centered around the theme "Enriching Women's Health through Innovations in Gynecology" and we are confident that your participation would greatly enhance the depth and breadth of discussions. For more detailed information about the conference, please visit our official website: https://gynecology.magnusconferences.com/ Gynec 2024 will gather a diverse audience, including renowned professionals, academics, researchers, healthcare experts, and passionate students. You have the flexibility to choose from various presentation formats, such as delivering a lecture, presenting a keynote address, or participating in engaging panel discussions and debates. We understand that your previous commitments may have prevented your participation in our earlier events, and we sincerely hope that your schedule aligns with our conference dates this year. To confirm your availability and acceptance of this renewed invitation, we kindly request you to share your abstract following the guidelines provided in the sample file at Abstract Submission Link. We eagerly await your positive response and the opportunity to host you at Gynec 2024 in the beautiful city Singapore!! Regards Laura Oliveira Conference Manager Gynec-2024 | Singapore Email: gynecology@magnusconference.com Phone: +1 (702) 988 2320 WhatsApp: +1 (540) 709 1879
<img src="https://u13061076.ct.sendgrid.net/wf/open?upn=[snip]" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/>