I think I've pissed myself

Enriching women's health redux

Laura Oliveira had stopped peddling Gynec-2022 before I began noting date headers for my investigation into whether the harlots of 150 South Wacker Drive actually plied their trade on the streets of the Windy City—answer: they don't, and Laura's no different—but she's back! Now with new-and-improved Gynec-2023 which, like the imminent Gynec-2022, is to be held in Orlando, FL.

Following this coming October's conference theme, Enriching Women's Health Through Innovations in Gynaecology, next April's will be…err…Enriching Women's Health Through Innovations in Gynaecology. I guess it's an important enough issue that it can't be adequately covered in just one conference. Then again, I'm no expert, so what do I know? (shrug)

Anyhow, while I was asked to be a speaker at Gynec-2022, my magnificent consistent research in the field of Gynecology [sic] has elevated me to the position of organising committee member. Not only am I incredulous, I'm beginning to think that I should use a VPN while conducting future *cough* research. (embarrassed)

Date: Thu, 14 Jul 2022 18:30:45 +0000 (UTC)
From: "Gynec 2023 | Orlando, FL, USA" <gynecology@int-conferences.com>
Subject: A chance to collaborate
Reply-To: "Gynec 2023 | Orlando, FL, USA" <gynecology@int-conferences.com>
Good Day. Hope you are fine in these tough times. We are pleased to invite you to the “Global Conference on Gynecology & Womens Health” scheduled during April 20-22, 2023 in Hybrid Format. HYBRID EVENT: You can participate in person at Orlando, USA or Virtually from your home or work. The theme chosen for this year is “Enriching Women's Health Through Innovations in Gynaecology.” Thinking about your profile, and dependent on your magnificent consistent research in the field of Gynecology, we would like to take the privilege to honor you with the position of Organizing Committee Member with free Registration. As a member of the scientific committee, you can chair/co-chair any scientific session of your interest, based on your research expertise you can modify the scientific program and recommend potential speakers that are relevant to the conference's topic and theme. For more details, visit Conference Website The congress will be a dynamic, innovative, and highly engaging conference that informs its delegates of the latest scientific developments. We would be happy to have you present at this congress and will be pleased to hear your thoughts and opinions in this direction. We would appreciate it, if you would send us the title of your talk as a positive acknowledgement. We look forward to working with you to make Gynec-2023 a great success and a memorable event. Please do not hesitate to contact me for any questions you may have. With Best Regards Laura Oliveira Program Manager | Gynec-2023 Email: gynecology@scientific-meetings.com Phone: + 1 (702) 988-2320 WhatsApp: +1 (540) 709-1879 -------------------------------- 150 South Wacker Drive #2400 Chicago, IL 60606, USA Disclaimer: If you don't want to receive any further emails from us, please respond back with remove/opt out or click to Unsubscribe

Update

17.07.2022 09:46

Well, that was quick. In the course of only three days, I've been demoted to speaker. I guess the organising committee positions were so popular that they were snapped up PDQ. At least the position of speaker involves less work. And, after all, less work is less work! (thumbup)

I'm still curious as to how the theme of Gynec-2023 will reflect that of Gynec-2022 though. I thought I'd enquire, but I doubt that I'll receive an intelligible or relevant reply. I shall update further if I receive anything at all.

Date: Sun, 17 Jul 2022 08:17:30 +0530
From: "Gynec 2023 | Orlando, FL, USA" <events@conferencemagazine.biz>
Reply-To: "Gynec 2023 | Orlando, FL, USA" <newsletter@magnusevents.biz>
Subject: Join International cast of speakers

Note also how Laura's timezone has changed, from UK to India. Either she's returned to the Hyderabad whorehouse, or…?

Greetings for the day. Hope this mail finds you in the best of health and spirit. We are delighted to announce “Global Conference on Gynecology & Womens Health” which will be taking place in a hybrid format due to the pandemic, and will be held during April 20-22, 2023 at Orlando, USA and virtually. The conference will be centred on the theme "Enriching Women’s Health Through Innovations in Gynaecology". By going through your work in the field of Gynecology, our scientific committee would like to offer you the position of Speaker. For more details, please go through Conference Website Gynec-2023 aspires to accelerate scientific breakthroughs by providing a multidisciplinary venue for interaction with recognised scientists, researchers, academicians, educators, healthcare professionals and industry giants from around the world. At this congress, a series of talks, poster presentations, workshops, discussions, and networking events will keep you up to date on the latest developments while also enabling you to learn and establish new connections. We look forward to joining together either virtually or in person at Orlando, USA to celebrate the past decade advancements in the field. We would greatly appreciate it, if you could submit your abstract as a positive acknowledgement to this mail. We would be glad to answer any questions you may have and provide necessary clarifications where needed. We look forward to receiving a favourable consideration from you. Best Personal Regards Laura Oliveira Program Manager | Gynec-2023 Email: gynecology@scientific-meetings.com Phone: + 1 (702) 988-2320 WhatsApp: +1 (540) 709-1879 -------------------------------- 150 South Wacker Drive #2400 Chicago, IL 60606, USA Disclaimer: If you don't want to receive any further emails from us, please respond back with remove/opt out or click to Unsubscribe
Dear Laura Oliveira Thank you for your kind invitation to attend your auspicious event, the theme of which is very interesting, and at the cutting edge of current concerns in women’s health: “Enriching Women’s Health Through Innovations in Gynaecology”. I seem to recall that the theme for the upcoming Gynec-2022 is also “Enriching Women’s Health Through Innovations in Gynaecology”. This is certainly an evolving hot topic. Can you please advise as to how the common themes will be played across the two events? Sincerely,

Update

18.07.2022 15:24

Aha! It appears that Gynec-2022 has been postponed due to circumstances beyond our control, hence the appearance of its critical theme in Gynec-2023. Would it take an arch cynic to speculate whether these circumstances included, or were indeed limited to, an absence of sufficient interest?

Note that, while I replied to Laura's email directly at newsletter@magnusevents.biz, she responded from a completely new mail address. Odd, that.

Date: Mon, 18 Jul 2022 12:08:36 +0000 (UTC)
From: "Gynec 2023 | Orlando, FL, USA" <gynecology@magnusconference.com>
Subject: Request for Abstract Submission: Gynec 2023 | Hybrid Event | Orlando,
 USA
Thank you for the response. Due to some circumstances beyond the organizer control, “Global Conference on Gynecology & Womens Health” (Gynec 2022) has been postponed to April 20-22, 2023 at Orlando, USA and Online. Kindly let us know your speaker interest by submitting your abstract as per attached template. For abstract submission, visit: https://gynecology.magnusconferences.com/submit-abstract We look forward to hear back from you. Regards Laura Oliveira Conference Manager

Update

25.07.2022 12:43

Clearly desperate for bums on seats, Laura's not going to let it go easily. But I opened her message in view source mode, without rendering the tracking images. So she'll never know whether this time was also a bad time.

Date: Mon, 25 Jul 2022 09:34:15 +0000 (UTC)
From: "Gynec 2023 | Orlando, FL, USA" <gynecology@magnusconference.com>
Subject: Request for Abstract Submission: Gynec 2023 | Hybrid Event | Orlando,
 USA
My last mail must have reached you at a bad time so that I am following up. Thank you for the response. Due to some circumstances beyond the organizer control, “Global Conference on Gynecology & Womens Health” (Gynec 2022) has been postponed to April 20-22, 2023 at Orlando, USA and Online. Kindly let us know your speaker interest by submitting your abstract as per attached template. For abstract submission, visit: https://gynecology.magnusconferences.com/submit-abstract Awaiting for your quick response. Regards Laura Oliveira Conference Manager

Update

03.08.2022 09:37

I didn't respond to her last missive, so she's re-replied to my question of 17.07.2022. This time, I opened her message so as to activate the tracker and let her know that there's a live one here.

I even threw in a little reply. Just to play her along.

I'm so mean I could hug myself.

Date: Wed, 03 Aug 2022 07:12:17 +0000 (UTC)
From: "Gynec 2023 | Orlando, FL, USA" <gynecology@magnusconference.com>
Subject: Request for Abstract Submission: Gynec 2023 | Hybrid Event |
 Orlando, USA
I'm sure you must be really busy, and I don't want to seem interrupting. Hope you can find a few minutes on this. Appreciate your time. Due to some circumstances beyond the organizer control, “Global Conference on Gynecology & Womens Health” (Gynec 2022) has been postponed to April 20-22, 2023 at Orlando, USA and Online. Kindly let us know your speaker interest by submitting your abstract as per attached template. For abstract submission, visit: https://gynecology.magnusconferences.com/submit-abstract Waiting for your earliest response. Regards Laura Oliveira Conference Manager
Dear respected Laura Oliveira, Thank you kindly for the advice on Gynec 2022. It is a shame, but I do understand that the best time to visit Orlando is from mid-January to April, so perhaps this change is for the best. Sincerely,

Update

03.08.2022 16:05

Oh well, some fell on stony ground…

Date: Wed, 03 Aug 2022 13:21:27 +0000 (UTC)
From: "Gynec 2023 | Orlando, FL, USA" <gynecology@magnusconference.com>
Subject: RE: Request for Abstract Submission: Gynec 2023 | Hybrid Event |
 Orlando, USA
Thank you for understanding. Kindly submit your abstract as per the attached sample file to proceed further. To submit abstract visit: https://gynecology.magnusconferences.com/submit-abstract Awaits your valuable submission. Regards Laura Oliveira Conference Manager