Satan sells
Timothy Norris / FilmMagic / Getty Images
Someone claiming to be Madonna introduced Sam Smith and Kim Petras at the Grammy Awards' ceremony—if ceremony
isn't too grand a term—when the pair won the Best Pop Duo or Group Performance award for Unholy. The song's not terrible; but, all the same, 2022 must've been a pretty lean year. Anyhow, that's not the point…or is it?
The Madonna impersonator promised a little controversy, before Smith appeared onstage as Satan, or at least as a chubby bloke wearing a red figure-hugging PVC jumpsuit and top hat with devil's horns. An encaged Petras wore a teeny red dress and gyrated provocatively. Red-dressed demons worshipped Satan
. And there was stage fire. It was all so contrived and hackneyed as to be laughably non-controversial.
Really, the only thing remotely unholy about it all was the sight of chubbs in that jumpsuit.* It's little wonder he wore a muumuu for the acceptance. (LOLZ)
Oh, but conservatives and Christians—or Christian conservatives, whatever—took the bait; along with the hook, the line, and the sinker. And it came to pass there was weeping and gnashing of teeth. The outrage—over satanic
imagery, not the imagery of chubbs in that jumpsuit**—was widely reported, further raising awareness of the performance and the song. Verily, a marketer's wet dream come true, and most of the work was done for them by the righteously indignant. Bloody well played! (thumbup)
It all puts me in mind of George Michael's I Want Your Sex. I'm convinced that it was originally entitled I Want Your Phone Number, until someone at the record company took him aside: Georgie, it's not very good, is it darling? You need to spice it up a bit, or it'll never sell!
Smith claims to be non-binary
—whatever the hell that's supposed to mean—while Petras is a transgender [cough] woman
. Nevertheless, anyone who thinks the duo won simply out of DivErSitY AnD InCLuSiOn
™ flap‑flap‑flap is nothing but a cynical old bastard! Oh yes indeed.
Personally, I think Unholy would've been better without Petras shitting all over it, and without that double negative of hers: He always call me 'cause I never cause no drama
, GAAAH! Then again, unaccompanied by a modern-day Victor Frankenstein's creation, it probably wouldn't have garnered nearly as much attention.
** Not so much if you've already seen the promo video. (ewww)
** Perhaps they'd already seen the promo video. (shrug)