Let's hear it for Colonel Marvel!

• 08.03.2019 10:24 UTC+01:00
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In preparation for the upcoming kinematographic release of Captain Marvel, the BBC offers a handy-dandy, need-to-know guide of Marvel Studio's latest screen superhero(ine) for the casual viewer.

What the guide doesn't explain is why Major Carol Danvers of the USAAF is demoted to a mere Captain. That's gotta be because she's a woman, right? If she was a man she would've been promoted to at least Colonel. That's sexist, and I'm sure the snowflakes will call it out on Twitter. #ColonelMarvel

Remember kids, you read it here first.

I have no great excitement to watch this entry into the oeuvre. It might be fine in a more-of-the-same kind of way, but I'm getting fatigued with the endless extremes of CGI fancy and the, frankly, play-it-by-the-numbers plot lines. And this one adds woke, through Brie Larson's grandstanding; although even she couldn't get her character promoted in the name of equality.

Yet still there seems to be a limitless untapped supply of superhero(in)es just waiting in the wings for their chance to shine on screen. It's probably great if you're a fanboi, but I only read a few comics when I was a kid, and that was over forty years ago!

Even though I haven't yet summoned the will to watch Avengers: Infinity War, I'm holding out—not pumped!, not psyched!—for Avengers: Endgame; simply so that I can close the circle, or story arc, or whatever the creatives call it. Then I'm done with all this MCU shit.

The only MCU films that I truly enjoyed were the two volumes of Guardians of the Galaxy, despite my initial scepticism over a talking racoon and a walking tree. But the self-righteous suits at Disney have put paid to another instalment of that franchise. (sad)

Oh, Iron Man and Captain America's first two solo outings are worth re-watching.