Bitches bitch'n'

Hey, ya really bustin' ma balls here!

There are 91 posts tagged: "unsolicited commercial email"

Not such a bargain
14 January 2022
Vinnie's contacted me again, offering a New Year special publication fee of only $159 to Journal of Regenerative Medicine & Biology Research. Hang on, didn't he offer me a reduction to $159 in September? And Ashley Brown offered the same in April, if I submitted before a specific deadline. (more…)
Thanks Mack! (thumbup)
14 January 2022
Bloody hell! What are the chances? (more…)
Nano nano
11 January 2022
Note to Alina Cohen: (more…)
11 January 2022
I haven't been counting the number of times that the editor of Archives of Women [sic] Health and Care has approached me for a contribution to their e-rag. But she has: Second Follow-up email after no response. So it's good to know that one of us is paying attention. (more…)
CAN-SPAM! Thank you, ma'am!
7 January 2022
It seems that different people have different interpretations of the Controlling the Assault of Non-Solicited Pornography And Marketing Act of 2003. (more…)
Stack 'em, pack 'em, and rack 'em
5 January 2022
Magnus Conferences specialise in the other side of the predatory coin from publishing: scamming people to attend garbage-tier conferences. Obviously, this market has been dented somewhat by the pandemic. So they're now offering physical/virtual hybrid events. (more…)
This unsolicited message is intended only...
5 January 2022
Wulf Höflich works for an Indian company pretending to be a UK/Dutch company, and offers me Unique Insights on Business Trends & Techno Commercial Landscapes. He must be quite brainy, because he went to a university, although he doesn't specify which one. So it could've been the University of Life, I guess. (shrug) (more…)
The devil in the detail
5 January 2022
Evelyn <> is an experienced professional web developer, based in India. With a Columbian domain. (confused) (more…)
No data
5 January 2022
John George seems pretty earnest when he writes, encouraging me: Updates in Clinical Investigation and Studies-Share your Work. (more…)
Proof of god?
4 January 2022
DrNG offers me New Year Greetings! & New Insights., which is very kind of him. Not only that, but he thanks me for being immune, which suggests that he knows more about my health status than I do. Perhaps that's the insight he refers to? I'm not sure how creepy that is, to be honest. (more…)
Victim in waiting
29 December 2021
Gracie Hughes writes to me, regarding REF/PAYMENTS CODE: UBA BANK -HSBC BANK/055740 (US$2.5M). I think that Gracie has quite the sense of humour. (more…)
God is grate
20 December 2021
Offering GREETINGS IN JESUS NAME !!!!, Mrs Susan Wilson informs me that she suffers from breast cancer and stroke, which have denied her a child. Although I suspect that that has more to do with her age. As, indeed, do her diseases. (pipe) (more…)
Foresee to praise
20 December 2021
Vanessa Moore's at it. Again. Global Journal of Reproductive Medicine is in shortfall of articles for successful release. Again. (more…)
Labour vs. delivery
15 December 2021
The subject line of Gretta Collins' missive is Impact Factor 1.92 | PubMed | Labor and Delivery. This one's a close, but no cigar in terms of comprehension, but I'll spare you a blow-by-blow critique. The real issue is that I'm not sure what Labor and Delivery refers to. (more…)
Cell of duty
14 December 2021
HSBC's London office has contacted me, regarding a vast sum of money that some unscrupulous government officials tried to keep from me. And I don't think that they're referring to the taxman. (more…)
No slacking!
12 December 2021
Rayner Micheal writes that he/she Hope you are working on your ongoing Research. (more…)
Mark or Mike?
10 December 2021
According to my correspondent, I'm honest, which is nice. It's always reassuring to have one's positive attributes recognised. (more…)
Red wine and dementia
9 December 2021
According to Dr Will Mitchell, there are 3 ways to kill dementia. So it's strange that he's only offering one here. But I guess we all have to start somewhere. (more…)
Journal of (any) research
7 December 2021
Maha D, managing editor at esteemed garbage-level journal, Global Journal of Fertility and Research, invites me to Publish and expose your article. There are some places where exposing one's article can get you the unwanted attention of law enforcement. Or so I'm led to believe, I've never tried it myself. Honest, officer! (more…)
Send us your gynaecologists
30 November 2021
Laura Harry has invited me to contribute gynaecologists, ostensibly to her esteemed journal. If she's collecting actual, practicing gynaecologists though, could she be planning to staff a women's hospital? (thinking) (more…)
Trackers tracking
30 November 2021
Dr Federica Gattuso invites me to publish my preprint manuscripts in HighTech and Innovation Journal. So, I think she's asking me to double dip, by submitting a manuscript that's already been accepted for publication elsewhere.* This is a questionable practice at best, if not flat-out unethical. (more…)
Dental floss
29 November 2021
What's your immediate thought? The email name is Editor-Dentistry and Oral Health, while the title of the journal is actually Journal of Dentistry and Oral Health. The From address is, yet the Reply-to address is (more…)
Disclaimer disregarded
29 November 2021
Zena Zhao, at MDPI publishing house, invites me to submit an article to a special issue of their journal, Materials, to be titled Zirconia and Innovative Biomaterials for Dental and Biomedical Applications. Curiously, I have a dental appointment this Friday, which will include filling a small fissure in one of my molars. I wonder if that's how she came into contact with me? (thinking) (more…)
The Hungary Games
24 November 2021
Some people are just too good for this world. People like Mr Greg Helms, the Director of the Airport Storage and Cargo Unit at Erie International Airport. He's advised me that my consignment, worth over $9M, may be moved to the UK if I don't settle the outstanding storage charges. It's a risk that I'm prepared to take, since it will still be closer to me than it is now. (more…)
My learned works?
24 November 2021
I have absolutely no idea why Journal of Corona Virus [sic] has contacted me for my helpful contribution. They may have read my learned works in the field, but I think it's unlikely. (more…)
Hedging my bets
22 November 2021
An enticing offer just came into my inbox. Nicole R. Wafer asks me where do you from ?. (more…)
Immediate attention
14 November 2021
I've been approached by Journal of Child, Adult Vaccines and Immunology, at least according to the From header. Or is it Journal of child adult Vaccine Immunology, as according to my trusty correspondent? (thinking) (more…)
Editorial Manager
13 November 2021
The message is impersonal, and almost as terse as the subject line, Archives of Medical and Clinical Research: (more…)
12 November 2021
The subject line of her email says it all. At least it would, if I understood it. (more…)
Getting ready to get busy
11 November 2021
Thomas Shah has got my back. An account executive at Unify Funding, he asks me Is Your business ready for the busy season? How could he have known that this is the very question that keeps me awake at night? (thinking) (more…)
11 November 2021
The solicitation: (more…)
No chance
10 November 2021
I received a message from Emily Flora last week, the standard request to submit my valuable research to her valueless web journal. You know the schtick. It was neither amusing nor inept enough to pass comment on, so I deleted it without further ado. (more…)
Columbian clot
9 November 2021
In my ongoing drive to mock the incompetence of predatory publishers and their staff, I have been gifted a request from Alice Vickers, on behalf of Perceptions in Reproductive Medicine. (more…)
What about us?
9 November 2021
Web-based businesses should ensure that their web presence gives potential clients a good impression of the company as a whole. As they say, first impressions last. It's like asking a girl out on a date, if you look like shit, she's more likely to turn you down. Garbage-tier predatory publishers not only resort to unsolicited commercial email, but their websites often have glaring anomalies that indicate a lack of attention to detail. Take this example, from RAS Publishers. They came to my attention when I was contacted by Ms. Mary, who positively hopes, with great desire, that my precious article can be sent to her in less than a week. Because, clearly, I have nothing better to do. (more…)
Sweet William
8 November 2021
William Rose has reached out to me, to enquire Need a publishing platform? It's not a properly-formed question, granted, but perhaps he's in a hurry. Time is money, after all. (more…)
A venue of Vanessas
5 November 2021
What is it with Vanessas? There are so many of them out there, just desperate to publish my esteemed ramblings. So far, my demimonde of sweet Vanessas includes Williams, at Medtext Publications; Moore, at Juniper Publishers; and the below-mentioned Holmes, working out of Remedy Publications' very own Californian cathouse. (more…)
2 November 2021
I've mentioned the Global Journal of Reproductive Medicine a couple of times before, but I've only just noticed that Vanessa is either unsure or downright ambivalent as to whether or not it's Global. The email name that she uses is Journal of Reproductive Medicine. I guess minor details like that don't really matter when you're scraping the bottom of the publishing barrel. (more…)
Savannah or Saanvi?
31 October 2021
Someone claiming to be Savannah Williams, at Remedy Publications' Belmont bordello, sent me an Invitation for the Submission of Upcoming Research Work on behalf of the American Journal of Otolaryngology and Head and Neck Surgery. By definition, upcoming research work cannot be submitted for publication. Because it's upcoming, it hasn't been done yet. Duh! (more…)
I didn't realise that my writing was so bad (sad)
27 October 2021
The opening line advises me that I'm receiving this shit because I visited their website, which is an utter lie. Even if I had visited their website—and as a native English speaker, with years' of publication experience, why would I bother?—they could only have obtained my email address if I'd submitted it. Like I'd do that! (more…)
27 October 2021
Spam that's automatically routed to my personal account's junk folder generally looks as it would in my inbox, but without images. I have never, until now, noticed a message actually headed by the spam detection analysis. My mate James, or John, is really hitting the ball out of the park here; he scored 31.4 points, of a required 5.0 to be detected. What a guy! (more…)
Lisa with an EL*
26 October 2021
And now Lisa D Williams joins the best little whorehouse in California. The owner/CPO of the company must've had an extension built to the bordello at 820 El Camino Real. Either that, or the girls are working shifts. I can't imagine that their clientele would be too happy with bunk beds. (more…)
Kindly piss off*
26 October 2021
The demanding tone of the subject line from Vanessa Williams—no, not the Vanessa Williams, not unless she's fallen on really hard times that is—really pissed me off: Kindly Submit 2 Page editorial/Short Communication/Letter to Editor. I don't give a damn about it being kindly, that's no different to demanding money with menaces and please. (more…)
Girls hangin' out
13 October 2021
Sweet Jesus! They're really packing 'em in at that there 820 El Camino Real, California, aren't they? Rene, Daizy, Alyssa, and Vanessa must be besties. Best hoes, that is. (more…)
Charlotte's web
13 October 2021
Charlotte Jackson is a recruiter. She claims to be an independent consultant but, judging by the from/reply email address, she also seems to work with Imperial Search. Imperial Search's website is very lightweight, which sends off scammy umbrella-company vibes. Nevertheless, so far, so mundane. (more…)
From India with love?
4 October 2021
Daizy Priscilla contacted me, inviting me to submit my blahblah to her yadayada. None of it stood out of the ordinary, except she's another lowlife at the gutter publishing house that is Remedy Publications LLC. Daizy must be besties with Alyssa, who works out of the same office address. (more…)
Saying it's not doesn't mean it's not
4 October 2021
Food Safety 2022 have invited me to speak at their Food Science & Technology 2022 webinar. I am so honoured! (more…)
Newcastle 'Scholars' Publishing
27 September 2021
Whether Cambridge Scholars Publishing is a predatory publisher may be a matter of debate. What is not debatable, however, is their repeated use of unsolicited commercial email to drum up business. (more…)
Extending my research?
26 September 2021
From the Journal of Child, Adult Vaccines and Immunology comes an opportunity for me to Extend your research by publishing with us. (more…)
25 September 2021
The subject line claims Only 2 weeks left for this issue: please submit. But September ends next week. I thought this solicitation was for Annals of Pharmacology and Pharmaceutics, not Annals of Time Travel…in which case it should've been addressed to Dr Who. BA-BOOM-TSCH! (more…)
Surgical precision
22 September 2021
What luck! I've received a high priority invitation to submit a manuscript to The General Surgeon. (more…)
20 September 2021
I could be wrong, but British incorporated companies don't use the Inc designation, they're usually plc or Ltd. But Simona Susan might not know that, because her email address ( suggests that she's in China, not London. (more…)
Suspiciously-crafted email
15 September 2021
I received the following message, with the subject Letzte Warnung vor der endgültigen Schließung Ihres Domänennamens, from a sender pretending to be my web host provider. It may surprise you to know that their payment system had detected a problem with my payment card, and they advised me to use the link that they had thoughtfully provided. How kind is that? Some people are just too good for this world. (more…)
The ethics of spam
10 September 2021
I've received something similar to this email from Ethics International Press before. In that instance, the message referred to Dr Rosamund Thomas, as if her name was supposed to mean something to me. (more…)
Still overpriced
9 September 2021
Yes, the English is terrible. No, I have no expertise in the journal's subject matter, although I have been selected as an eminent author, so there's that I guess. But, a valueless predatory journal with rip-off rates publication charges of only $159? That's a total freakin' bargain! (more…)
California or Cambodia?
8 September 2021
International Journal of Internal and Emergency Medicine is an academic publication based in the USA. Or is it? (more…)
Glorious wishes
13 August 2021
Vanessa offers me glorious wishes, which I don't get every day, so that's nice. And she wants me to submit my valuable manuscript immediately. It can be on any topic of my choosing, which gives me more leeway than I'm used to; or should be allowed, if I'm honest. (more…)
Too rich for me!
22 July 2021
It's rare that predatory publishers are open about the cost of publishing your laundry list in their gutter-grade journals—using journals in its broadest possible sense. Usually it takes some digging to get that information. But I have never seen anything so up-front about costs as this. (more…)
Waiting hopefully
15 July 2021
The Global Journal of Reproductive Medicine, a prominent journal within its specialist field, is produced by the leading publishing house, Juniper Publishers, based in Irvine, California. (more…)
Eminent me
2 July 2021
I've mentioned low-energy spam from predatory publishers before. If you want someone to give you money for old rope, you might as well help them to understand why your rope is better for them than anyone else's. But that seems to be too much for some publishing pondlife. (more…)
My precious articles
8 June 2021
Another request for my valuable submission. My money research work is highly prized among the pondlife publishing community, who're obviously not wasting their income on translation services. Anyhow, I'm posting this here simply because it's short and funny; unlike Melissa McCarthy, who at 5′2″ (1.57m) can only lay claim to being short. (more…)
Inglish lyk wot I rite
8 May 2021
From an academic perspective, most unsolicited email that I receive comes from garbage-tier open access journals. But there's other life, dwelling among the nether reaches of the pond, ready to pounce on the unwary; and that includes translation services. Services such as those offered by Academia Editing. (more…)
5 May 2021
An email from TrumpAcademy <> advises me that Trump just dropped a Bombshell. It included no body text, just an image which wasn't downloaded because the message had found its way into my junk mail folder. (more…)
30 April 2021
Unsolicited email sent by predatory publishers has many characteristic traits related to the incompetence of organisations that exist solely to publish your work for payment. Generally, though, they are fairly brief, and have discernable paragraph white space. (more…)
Cannot be arsed
30 April 2021
Sometimes predatory spam is so low-energy that I wonder whether they actually expect a response. I'm inclined to think that their sole intent is to fill my inbox with shit. (more…)
Hair today, gone tomorrow (sad)
26 April 2021
Another day, another solicitation from a pond-dwelling, vanity, science publisher. (more…)
So much for alcohol toxicity
14 April 2021
I was bothered by the difference between the return email address in Stella's message and the editorial address on the SL Pharmacology and Toxicology homepage, not least because they use different domains. So I shot a reply, under the pretext of budgetary planning: (more…)
Ironic alcoholic
12 April 2021
SL Pharmacology and Toxicology, a garbage-level publication shat out onto the interwebz by Scientific Literature Journals, is planning a special edition to be entitled Alcohol Toxicity: (more…)
Easy, Tiger
8 April 2021
According to Maggie Pound at SalesTiger: (more…)
Durian Durian
7 April 2021
I received a somewhat pedestrian unsolicited commercial email from Danielle Cwalinski today, advising me of the health benefits of ONE exotic fruit. And she doesn't mean Joe Exotic…BA-DA-BOOM-TSCH! (more…)
The luck of the Irish?
Pah! Try the luck of the English!
6 April 2021
Sometimes my inbox or, rather, junk mail folder reveals to me how sought-after I am. And I have a hard time believing that little ol' me could attract such attention. Just pure bitchin' luck, I guess; some of us got it, and some of you ain't. (more…)
Debunking disliking dislikes
6 April 2021
In No More Dislikes For You, Just Some Guy raises more valid points on YouTube's experiment. This is a useful insight to those of us who are not YouTube content creators. (more…)
A matter of trust
6 April 2021
Straight and to the point, just the way I like my unsolicited commercial email. (more…)
Disliking dislikes
1 April 2021
For undisclosed reasons—read: pressure from Disney/LucasFilm—YouTube is experimenting with hiding dislike counts. (more…)
Gone phishing
11 August 2020
We are constantly reminded about the dangers of social engineering security breaches, such as phishing attacks. So, you'd think that a responsible financial institution would be sensitive to the advice that we're given, which includes being wary of emails purporting to be from one institution, but coming from a different domain. (more…)
Hopeful response
24 July 2020
Spam messages from predatory publishers are not uncommon. They often follow a standard format, including one or more of the following: the urgency of their deadline; the eminence of one's work in the, often totally unrelated, field; fulsome praise of the recipient's character, if not manhood; spurious claims as to their academic value; no indication of the, carefully hidden, costs. Mostly they go straight to the junk folder without comment, or even being read. (more…)
I blow my nose in your general direction
12 July 2020
It never ceases to amaze me, the poor English, lying, and general incompetence in begging emails from gutter science journals. You've heard the saying first impressions last, but it's not as if they're even trying…other than my patience: (more…)
Yours professionally
24 June 2020
Another day, another request for me to publish my valuable research, at my expense, in some bottom-dwelling pseudo-science rag. (more…)
The book that writes itself for you, but not quite
26 May 2020
Most of the unsolicited email that I receive into my business account is from laboratory suppliers, despite me not having a laboratory!; low-rent conference organisers; or lower-rent open source publishers. And then, every so often, there's something out of the ordinary. (more…)
My condition is not as perfect as it could be
26 May 2020
I received the usual transfer-of-funds shit, this time from a Dr Donald Moore working with a finance house in Ghana*: (more…)
Making money the easy way
10 May 2020
I received an interesting opportunity from Christina Vounas at In an email entitled Power Companies Are Absolutely FURIOUS..., I'm invited to: (more…)
Mrs. Ragnhild Lilly Button
29 November 2019
This item in my junk mail folder leapt out at me, simply because of the sender's (alleged) name…Mrs. Ragnhild Lilly Button. Whoever came up with that has a sense of humour to match mine, and they should feel ashamed. (more…)
Liar, liar!
9 April 2019
Unsolicited commercial email is annoying enough, but doubly so when they treat you like a moron. (more…)
The tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth
25 March 2019
My youngest daughter has just learnt that she will need braces and rubber bands to fix her imperceptibly crooked teeth and misaligned jaw. I have just learnt how much this will cost. Fortunately, I was sitting down! (more…)
Publish, and be damned!
16 March 2019
One form of spam, that I regularly receive, is from predatory publishers requesting that I submit my valuable research to their valueless journals for immediate publication…for a usually undisclosed fee. (more…)
Google translated?
5 February 2019
We all get spam, unwanted email communications that is, not tinned pork derivative. It's intrusive, annoying, and, in some cases, malicious or even dangerous. But, it's a part of everyday life and, every now and then, there's one that escapes the junk mail filters and briefly brightens my day with its simple ineptitude. (more…)
If you notice this notice
4 February 2019
Random spam: (more…)
Amusing spam
3 February 2016
Occasionally, an amusing spam message comes my way. This, for instance, from Mr Tzee Pepple: (more…)
Canned meat product: spiced and served with a chapati
23 April 2012
According to a report from Sophos, India is now the most prolific country for spam: India has become the top spam-spewing nation on the planet, rapidly passing the US. Except that the report ranks nations by the amount of junk mail routed through computers in each country. (more…)
SPAM: new serving suggestion
11 November 2011
That nice Mr/Mrs Chumbla in Nigeria has offered me, and I suspect all of you, their money for FREE. (more…)
Odd spam
9 June 2011
I received quite a strange spam invite entitled Exclusive Invite For New Social Nertwork for professionals. (more…)
Spam (mad)
3 September 2003
Since 27 August I've had 1108 messages offering me everything from generic viagra, to an extra 3" for my best friend; from teen pr0n, to cheap mortgages. Most of these talk in terms of US$ and deliver, where applicable, to the 50 states of the Union. (more…)