And it's come to this

Hey, ya really bustin' ma balls here!

There are 38 posts tagged: "the rumour mill"

The end of a two-week era
9 December 2022

Stadium 974, the World Cup's first temporary stadium, will be dismantled and recycled after hosting seven matches for Qatar 2022.

17 November 2022

Glorious happenstance has led me to learn that Alex Bellend Belfield—a man with a face for radio, a voice for print, and a personality for waste disposal—was recently imprisoned for five-and-a-half years for online stalking. I hope he finds a nice shower buddy. (prick)

Stolen future
16 November 2022

With the announcement that he intends to run for US president in 2024, and given his magnanimity in defeat, I'm calling it now: Donald J. Trump won't lose the election; it'll be stolen from him. (wink)

Military cocktail
13 November 2022

Following his takeover of Twitter, the space cadet announced paid-for account verification. The blue check brigade lost its collective shit—it's a thing that losers on Twitter are wont to do. But it didn't take others too long to seize the opportunity for some major-league trolling.

Lack of Trusst
15 October 2022

How long has Liz Truss been the UK's prime minister? Not very long.

Poison for profit
8 October 2022

The WHO has released an alert against four cough syrup products linked to sixty-six infant deaths in The Gambia. When I read that the deaths had been linked to kidney injury, my immediate thought—as any student of Forensic Files will appreciate—was of ethylene glycol and/or diethylene glycol poisoning. And, upon further reading…quelle surprise!

Careless talc costs lives
12 August 2022

Johnson & Johnson is to stop making and selling its legendary baby talc due to health concerns—raised in US civil litigation, natch! People who want a scapegoat's money to compensate for their disease, claim that the company's talc is contaminated with asbestos. Hence cancer.*

Say cheese
28 May 2022

In Six unbelievable uses for cheese, BBC Food provides some imaginative, if not flat-out off-the-wall, uses for my favourite dairy product: as car fuel; sporting equipment; sculpture; collateral; a politcal statement; and…crime prevention. Although, in reality, that last one's a bit of a stretch.

30 April 2022

Disney continues to strip mine its IP to generate content for, and interest in, its streaming channel, Disney+. Following on from its previous Star Wars offshoots, The Mandalorian and The Book of Boba Fett, comes Obi-Wan Kenobi.

It's not harmful if you treat it right
27 April 2022

Purveyor of sugar-laden shit, Kellogg's, is taking the UK government to court, over restrictions on the display of nutritionally-deficient, obesity-inducing breakfast cereals in stores.

Skating on thin ice
8 February 2022

Wahey! Weibo's nationalistic shitheads are at it again. The it being brutally castigating their Olympians' performances, when failing to excel at things that they—the nationalistic shitheads, that is—wouldn't have a hope in hell of achieving in the first place. In particular, figure skater Zhu Yi, who fell a lot, leaving Team China out of the medals.

The peasants are revolting!
2 February 2022

Less than one month after their labour union was ratified, the comrades at Image Comics have filed a claim against the company for unfair labor practices. Grab the pitchforks and man person identity-unassumed the barricades, we're going to war!

Old man howls at moon
25 January 2022

Ageing rocker, Neil Young, has demanded that Spotify remove his music from its platform, in protest at podcaster Joe Rogan spreading Chongvax misinformation.

21 December 2021

Pupils aged eight and nine years at Watkins Elementary School, Washington DC, were allegedly forced to re-enact events from the Holocaust, including shootings and digging mass graves. One child was given the role of Adolf Hitler to play, which presumably saved them having to act out any hard labour, although they did have to commit suicide at the end; re-anacted, I hasten to add.

The wheelchair heist
1 December 2021

A 61-year-old shoplifter was shot dead by a police officer in Tuscon on Monday. Like his weapon, Officer Ryan Remington has been fired. BA-BOOM-TSCH!

23 November 2021

A different approach to driving sales comes from Uber Eats, Canada.

Not fast enough
24 October 2021

On the shooting death of Ecuadorian sprinter, Alex Quiñónez, outside a shopping centre in Guayaquil, BBC News notes that This is the second killing of an international athlete this month. Just over a week ago, Agnes Tirop was stabbed to death in Kenya.

A Windows on the future
5 October 2021

Tomorrow sees the rollout of Windows 11, as a free upgrade, to the great unwashed. That's those of us who're too apathetic, or wrapped up in having a real life, to have installed the previews.

When Supreme Leader says 'jump'...
3 September 2021

It must be easy to be a dictator. All you have to do is tell your minions what to do, and they'll do it. Job done!

Wish upon a star
30 June 2021

News that two collisions between a neutron star and a black hole have been recorded within ten days of each other, is accompanied by an artist's impression of what such an event might look like.

Snow what?
24 June 2021

In what could be seen as just another race-bait move, Disney has cast latina actress Rachel Zegler as Snow White in their upcoming live action remake of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Casting for characters of restricted height has yet to be announced, but it's unlikely that Ray Winstone, Toby Jones, Ian McShane et al. will be invited to reprise their roles from Snow White and the Huntsman, since that would be taking work from genuinely diminutive actors.

Black queen
5 June 2021

It appears that not everyone may be enthusiastic for historical revisionism. Channel 5's Anne Boleyn, a reimagining of historical events leading to the execution of England's first black queen, has not been an undisputed ratings success.

Bad noose
22 May 2021

Construction on an Amazon warehouse in Windsor, Connecticut, has been shut down after seven nooses were found on the site in the last month.

Privates on parade
20 May 2021

Yet another German terrorist plot. And, once again, under German privacy rules the suspect's surname cannot be revealed. In this case, the suspect is a military officer who's only named by the BBC as Lt Franco A.

Crocktain America
25 April 2021

As Disney's production output increases to fulfil its streaming needs, its subsidiary divisions are collaborating more and more to satisfy the programming demand. They're achieving this, in part, by introducing already-established characters to other franchises.

One of our civil servants is missing!
22 April 2021

A civil servant who was employed at the Ciaccio hospital in Catanzaro, Italy, has been accused of absenteeism since he started working—or not working—at a new position there in 2005. He hasn't attended work at all for fifteen years.

The call of the wild
16 April 2021

The citizens of Kraków, Poland, can sleep peacefully in their beds once again.

Roger Moore's eyebrow
5 October 2020

Misleading post title? Why, of course! But this does have a connection with eyebrows.

You really couldn't make this up. But someone actually did!
15 July 2020

I love a good conspiracy theory, they affirm my cynicism towards secrecy and often big government, but the best ones have a ring of truth about them. Which is more than can be said of the Wayfair child trafficking conspiracy theory.

Let's hear it for Colonel Marvel!
8 March 2019

In preparation for the upcoming kinematographic release of Captain Marvel, the BBC offers a handy-dandy, need-to-know guide of Marvel Studio's latest screen superhero(ine) for the casual viewer.

Air Force FUN!
28 February 2018

Hotel magnate and US President, Donald Orange Don Trump, has renegotiated a deal with Boeing to supply two new presidential Air Force Ones. Huh? (confused)

Hawking to appear at Glastonbury
13 May 2015

Prof. Stephen Hawking is to appear at this year's Glastonbury festival, as the result of a booking error. They thought they were getting Hawkwind.

Silent running
26 June 2013

Drayson Racing Technologies has broken the world land speed record for a lightweight electric vehicle, with the Lola B12 69/EV. The car recorded a top speed of 328.6km/h (204.2mph) at RAF Elvington in Yorkshire. I think that it is quite pretty, in a my-wife-would-never-approve kind of way, although the range (as far as the extension cable) and luggage capacity (none) might be problematic.

Clint Eastwood's latest starring role
25 June 2013

BBC News Magazine illustrates an article on travelling without passports, with a still image from Clint's current film shoot. In it, he stars as a customs and immigration officer pushed over the edge, after his passport scanner malfunctions.

Mars attacks!
21 June 2013

In 2009, the UK Ministry of Defence closed its UFO desk because, according to newly released files: it served no defence purpose and was taking staff away from more valuable defence-related activities.

Mi braynz num
29 August 2012

It appears that habitual cannabis use, particularly from adolescence, can result in a permanent reduction in IQ.

Barclays' boss to resign!
29 June 2012

At the moment, Barclays' CEO Bob Diamond is saying that he won't resign over the lending rate fixing scandal. But we all know that when someone in this position says they won't resign, that's exactly what they do…quietly…two weeks later.

Fred Morrison, pretender to Xena's crown
13 February 2010

Fred Morrison, self-styled inventor of the Frisbee, has died aged 90. He claimed to have invented the flying toy disc while playing with a tin lid with his girlfriend.