Straight up, guv! Would I lie to you?
There are 91 posts tagged: "pandemic"
- How anonymous is a name?
- 7 June 2022
Joanna York discusses the inequalities of post-pandemic workplace presence: executive managers who require the hoi polloi to drag their sorry arses back into the office, while themselves maintaining remote working practices.(more…)
- Neverending lockdown
- 24 May 2022
President Pooh's lackeys at the WHO are concerned over China's response to the WuFlu. They believe that continued lockdowns in the face of Chongvirus omicron are not sustainable. Oh well, never mind.(more…)
- Not isolated enough
- 12 May 2022
It appears that, although Kim Jong-un declared a(more…)
shining successin dealing with the Wuflu last year, Chongvirus Omicron is now having a gay old time in North Korea. Despite the secretive state closing its borders in January 2020, Omicron has found a way into
lil' fatboy'sSupreme Leader's playpit.
- A spoonful of Sugar...is a spoonful too much
- 11 May 2022
British entrepreneur, and host of the BBC's rip-off of The Apprentice, Lord Sugar, has lambasted PwC's staff for taking Friday afternoons off over summer. The offer is valid as long as they have their work completed by lunchtime.(more…)
- Old-fashioned communications
- 24 April 2022
Jacob Rees-Mogg, UK Cabinet minister for Brexit Opportunities and Government Efficiency,* is upsetting the peons. He's been leaving little notes on the desks of civil servants who have yet to return to the office, stating:(more…)
Sorry you were out when I visited. I look forward to seeing you in the office very soon.
- Postcard from the ancestral homeland
- 16 March 2022
China's economic resurgence has met a stumbling block in the shape of Chongvirus Omicron. Like its elder brother, Delta, Omicron is making a pilgrimage to its ancestral homeland, and is having a gay old time in the economically- and technologically-important regions of Guangdong, Jilin, Shandong, Shanghai, and Shenzhen.(more…)
- 15 March 2022
Vaccination was rarely discussed widely online before the pandemic. It's just not one of(more…)
thosesubjects for most people.
- Not throwing caution to the wind
- 20 February 2022
England is planning to rejoin the first world in the coming days, as BoJo warns against throwing caution to the wind.(more…)
- First world nation
- 18 February 2022
Yesterday saw the lifting of Chongmask mandates in shops and restaurants in Switzerland. Proof of Chongvax is also no longer needed. By the end of next month, we should be able to go Chongmaskless on public transport.(more…)
- Bridge over the river Detroit
- 14 February 2022
After almost a week-long stand-off with a mélange of malcontented numbskulls, Canadian police have finally liberated the Ambassador Bridge between Windsor, ON, and Detroit, MI.(more…)
- Are you saying I'm fat?
- 11 February 2022
Either Scientific Meetings or Magnus Meet—Jessica Deborah seems to be ambivalent as to which—is organising the Euro-Global Conference on Food Science and Technology, to be held in Paris, France. This is another hybrid event, for the benefit of those who don't want to travel during the pandemic, or who have an aversion to mice and Gallic customer service.(more…)
- Truckers not truckin'
- 9 February 2022
As the Ottawan truckers' protest continues, Sam Cabral's there on the frontlines. Or not. Actually, he's in Washington, from where he outlines some thoughts as to how it might be brought to an end.(more…)
- Drinking piss
- 5 February 2022
As the pressure on BoJo over restriction-busting knees-ups at Downing Street increases, it appears that the PM was photographed at one event holding a can of beer.(more…)
- Visionary video
- 24 January 2022
I had to read this twice to realise they meant(more…)
video. Automated journalism-to-English translators aren't infallible I guess.
- Alpha meatheads assemble!
- 19 January 2022
It's generally the case that major cultural changes in the US eventually make it to the UK within five years: rock'n'roll; fast food; frivolous and vexatious litigation; and, most recently, brain death. Yes, the UK now has its very own anti-vax(more…)
sovereign citizens. (SMH)
- Going postal
- 18 January 2022
Beijing city officials warn that a local woman may have contracted Chongvirus Omicron from a foreign parcel. If true—and we're taking the word of CCP shitheads here, so caution is advised—then, by the same token, this could be one way in which they exported their little billet-doux to the world. (nosmile)(more…)
- Looks like a pig, walks like a pig...
- 18 January 2022
As we delight in BoJo's further embarrassment over restrictions-busting boozy knees-ups at Downing Street, his former chief adviser tried to blow all pretence of innocence-through-ignorance out of the water.(more…)
- Boozy nights
- 16 January 2022
While the rest of Britain was in lockdown, the studz'n'wenchz of Westminster showed that they know how to PAAAR-TAAY. Rules are made to be broken. Just ask Matt Han(don)cock, he wrote them.(more…)
- 11 January 2022
One of the appliances in my pied-à-terre has gone on the blink. After almost a week, the service company has deigned to send an engineer to look at it tomorrow. FWP, eh?(more…)
- 11 January 2022
Protesters on the French overseas territory of St Pierre and Miquelon have attacked their MP, by pelting him with seaweed. Stéphane Claireaux took his ordeal stoically.(more…)
- Stack 'em, pack 'em, and rack 'em
- 5 January 2022
Magnus Conferences specialise in the other side of the predatory coin from publishing: scamming people to attend garbage-tier conferences. Obviously, this market has been dented somewhat by the pandemic. So they're now offering physical/virtual hybrid events.(more…)
- Pandemic posting
- 31 December 2021
The pandemic lockdowns have resulted in increased levels of shit on the interwebz. This is not least in part due to the fact that I have been posting more. Much more. But only in terms of quantity, not quality. Fortunately, no one reads this garbage, so no innocent brain cells have been harmed in the course of the fiasco.(more…)
- Levelling up?
- 18 December 2021
A story of further embarrassment for BoJo's government, over restrictions-busting office Christmas parties, is remarkable only for bringing to my attention the fact that there's a Department for Levelling Up, Housing and Communities within HMG. What the actual fuck is(more…)
levelling upsupposed to mean? (confused)
- I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
- 16 December 2021
UK theatres are warning that cancellations to pantomime shows, in the wake of Chongvirus Omicron, threaten their finances. No shit, who'd've thunk it? (thinking)(more…)
- Give me the reason
- 16 December 2021
In an effort to slow the spread of Chongvirus Omicron, French Prime Minister Jean Castex has announced tightened travel restrictions for visitors from the UK.(more…)
- Dutch oven
- 16 December 2021
Thierry Baudet, a right-wing Dutch MP, has been ordered by a court to remove Twitter posts likening restrictions against the unvaccinated to the treatment of Jews during the Holocaust.(more…)
- 7 December 2021
Shilling hard for Destination Toronto/TCVA, Lindsey Galloway tells us why Toronto is The Canadian city to visit this winter.(more…)
- A vacant lot
- 29 November 2021
End-of-year bullshit from the mouth-breathers in MegaCorpCH's HR department.(more…)
- The piggy premium
- 26 November 2021
With news that a highly-mutated Chongvirus variant has been detected in southern Africa, the UK transport secretary, Grant Shapps, announced new travel restrictions as(more…)
a safety-first approach. It at least demonstrates that lessons from the delta variant have been learned. Which is something, I suppose.
- Pooh payment
- 12 November 2021
AstraZeneca have announced that, as the WuFlu changes from pandemic to endemic—their words, not mine—the company will start to make some profit from its Chongvax. Nick Dearden, director of campaign group Global Justice Now, who appears to live in an economic fantasy land, railed against the decision, stating that it(more…)
shows the utter folly of giving away publicly-funded science to big pharma. While the AZ vaccine was developed in conjunction with Oxford University, the company has borne the cost of production and getting the drug to market. And it's still the cheapest on the market.
- 27 October 2021
Spam that's automatically routed to my personal account's junk folder generally looks as it would in my inbox, but without images. I have never, until now, noticed a message actually headed by the spam detection analysis. My mate James, or John, is really hitting the ball out of the park here; he scored 31.4 points, of a required 5.0 to be detected. What a guy!(more…)
- Acid tongue
- 14 October 2021
Claudia Webbe, ex-Labour and currently independent MP for Leicester East, has been found guilty of harassing Michelle Merritt, between September 2018 and April 2020, with, among other things, threats of acid and sending naked photos of Merritt to her family. The basis for these attacks was a relationship that Merritt allegedly had with Webbe's partner, Lester Thomas.(more…)
- 11 October 2021
As the US government and state authorities introduce mandatory vaccination against the Chongvirus for public sector workers, some of those workers are choosing to leave their jobs instead. Healthcare workers who reject the mandate as politically-motivated, or an invasion of their sovereign rights, have a difficult argument to make in their favour, since they must already be vaccinated against MMR and hepatitis.(more…)
- Just passing through
- 25 September 2021
File this wanton idiocy under(more…)
dumb things press secretaries say.
- Rapper's denial
- 16 September 2021
One of the joys of instant-access social media is that it offers celebrities the opportunity to show the world how moronic they are. In this case, Nicki Minaj declaring on Twitter that the friend of a cousin in Trinidad became impotent after receiving the Chongvax.(more…)
His testicles became swollen.
- Of Nazis and nutters
- 15 September 2021
Heinrich Himmler sent an expedition to Tibet in 1938, to search for the origins of the Aryan race. This is the same mythical race that was a figment of Hitler's imagination.(more…)
- Tinfoil vaccine
- 14 August 2021
An international resistance movement opposed to Chongvaxes and restrictions is growing on social media. Their plan is to separate themselves from vaccinated members of society, who they fear will make them ill.(more…)
- All I want for Christmas is less plastic
- 13 August 2021
The roadtrip continues to Ningbo-Zhoushan, the world's third busiest port. Chongvirus Delta has closed one of the terminals, reducing the port's capacity by about a quarter.(more…)
- No vaccine for zombies
- 11 August 2021
If you thought that Dr Naomi Wolf's opinions on the Chongvax were naive, others arise from the pit of ingorance who are, if anything, even worse.(more…)
- 9 August 2021
Among those hesitant of vaccination against the Chongvirus are the 10% of the population with a fear of needles. Apparently, they can waste hours at clinics being coached into a jab, only to walk away at the last moment, or faint.(more…)
- Ancestral homeland
- 2 August 2021
It may have been raised in the fetid sewers of India but, yearning for the homeland of its ancestors, Chongvirus Delta has now made its pilgrimage to the fetid sewers of China. This time of year is, apparently, the domestic tourism season, so it should afford an excellent opportunity for Delta to visit many parts of the country.(more…)
- Bonus points
- 30 July 2021
Scarlett Johansson is suing Disney for breach of contract, because Black Widow was released on streaming at the same time as at theatres. She claims that the subsequent box office bombing resulted in a loss of additional earnings of $50m. This is over and above the $20m that she's already received.(more…)
- Keeping a low profile
- 27 July 2021
After dropping out of the French Open and Wimbledon grand slam events, Naomi Osaka claimed that she wanted to focus on her preparations for the Tokyo Olympics. It must've come as some surprise to the WTA number 2, then, to exit early in a straight-sets defeat at the hands of 42nd-placed Marketa Vondrousova.(more…)
- The sixth sense
- 23 July 2021
Writing for BBC Future, David Robson explores the complexities of Chongvax hesitancy. To cut a dull story short, much of the reluctance is attributed to(more…)
the 5Cs: confidence; complacency; calculation; constraints, or convenience; and collective responsibility.
- Trust me, I'm my wife
- 23 July 2021
A Covid-positive Indonesian man boarded an internal flight disguised as his wife, carrying her passport and negative test result. He was caught mid-air after he changed from his disguise, which included a full-face veil, into his own clothes. Idiot.(more…)
- Bursting the bubble?
- 21 July 2021
Oh shit, that's torn it.(more…)
- Population control
- 21 July 2021
BBC News's population correspondent, Stephanie Hegarty, reports on the Mexican villages refusing to vaccinate against the Chongvirus. Her article wasn't interesting enough for me to finish reading it.(more…)
- Disney: lower your expectations
- 20 July 2021
In only its second week of release, Black Widow has been toppled from the top spot at the US box office when ticket sales dropped by 67%. Naturally, the National Association of Theatre Owners attributed this(more…)
stunning second weekend collapseto the film being made available immediately on streaming.
- The bigger they come
- 15 July 2021
Marley Ngarizemo has lost fifteen of his relatives to the Chongvirus in Namibia. This is undoubtedly a personal tragedy for him and his family.(more…)
- Home aid
- 11 July 2021
The UK government has recently announced a reduction in its foreign aid from 0.7% to 0.5% of national income, to compensate for the pandemic. In her response, Kate Hampton, chief executive of the Children's Investment Fund Foundation, referred to past years'(more…)
British taxpayer generosity.
- Kim Jong-un, when him gon-un?
- 30 June 2021
gluttonousglorious leader, Kim Jong-un, has castigated his top officials for lapses with severe consequences related to the Chongvirus.
- Make mine an hypocrisy on the rocks
- 25 June 2021
The UK's Health Secretary, Matt Hancock—emphasis on the(more…)
cock—has been a naughty boy. He's been caught flouting his very own social distancing guidelines, by kissing an aide who he hired. C'mon, give the guy a break. It wouldn't have been much of an affair if they'd maintained social distancing requirements, FFS! (rolleyes)
- Tokyo no-go
- 25 June 2021
The British Olympic Association admits that some of its athletes don't want to be vaccinated against the Chongvirus prior to the Tokyo Olympic Games. Its chief executive, Andy Anson, said that while 90% of athletes will have been fully Chongvaxed prior to the Games, some are holding out.(more…)
- Moving on
- 25 June 2021
Writing for BBC Worklife, Bryan Lufkin explains why it's okay to not reignite relationships that have stagnated during lockdown. You can let acquaintanceships and friendships go, should you wish.(more…)
- 9 June 2021
British Airways is in the news. Again. For all the wrong reasons. Again.(more…)
- Trust me, I'm a doctor
- 6 June 2021
Twitter has suspended Dr Naomi Wolf's account, after she was found to have spread Chongvax misinformation. Her messages included such gems as vaccines being a(more…)
software platform that can receive uploads, and that the excreta of vaccinated individuals should be separated from general sewage, until its impact on non-vaccinated people through drinking water has been studied. It seems more humorous, in a batshit crazy way, than misinformative to me; although if it's a sign of her mental illness, then I should feel bad for laughing.
- The fifteen percenters
- 5 June 2021
Finance ministers from the G7 group of leading economies are meeting in London to come to agreement on taxation of multinational companies. Some nations are upset that their taxation greed is driving multinational companies to find more tax-efficient countries to establish themselves.(more…)
- Going with plan B
- 3 June 2021
Natalie Quail is the chief executive of SmileTime, a company that sells dental cosmetic products. When she established the company in 2019, she included a backup plan to bring in alternative suppliers should her primary supply be disrupted. She envisioned the possibility of war, or weather, impacting the long supply chain from her primary suppliers in China.(more…)
- Let's start at the very beginning
- 1 June 2021
The WHO has introduced a new naming convention for variants of the Chongvirus. Following complaints from the Indian government, that the Indian variant was being referred to as the Indian variant, the WHO has introduced Greek letters to remove the stigma associated with country names. From now on, the variant first identified in the UK will be Alpha, while the Indian variant will be Delta, and so on.(more…)
- See no evil
- 20 May 2021
I obviously have a different interpretation of(more…)
Covid-freeto the BBC's. I take it to mean zero cases. Period. Not
virtually zero or single-digit, which still indicate the disease's presence.
- Couldn't see it coming
- 8 May 2021
As Indian variants of the Chongvirus gain popularity in the UK, the bouncing bombsite(more…)
has said the government needs to carefully handle outbreaks. Not letting them in to the country in the first place would've been a good place to start, BoJo.
- Car park sharks
- 2 May 2021
Car parks at UK city and town centres and railway stations have seen less traffic recently. The pandemic is a contributing factor, although it's not the only one. Flexible working practices; urban traffic control measures; and the growth of online shopping have all taken their toll. So much so, that the UK's largest car park operator, NCP, has reported that its revenues have dropped by 80% since the onset of the pandemic. The company is trying to renegotiate its leases with its landlords, in an effort to cut costs and avoid insolvency.(more…)
- Well, that was expected!
- 27 April 2021
With the preliminary viewing figures available, it appears that Oscars 2021 was not a ratings success, pulling in an audience of 9.85 million viewers, the lowest in the show's history. The previous lowest was last year's, which still managed to draw 23.6 million.(more…)
- Friday on my mind
- 22 April 2021
As India reports the highest daily number of new Chongvirus cases anywhere—314,835 in the last 24 hours, as well as a new mutant strain—London Heathrow Airport is refusing to increase the number of flights from the subcontinent before it's added to the UK's red list on Friday. Meanwhile, the UK's former chief scientific adviser, Prof. Mark Walport, believes that the addition of India to the red list may already have come too late.(more…)
- Unfortunate choice of words
- 21 April 2021
Streaming services have benefitted from the pandemic over the past year. As the Chongvirus has forced people to stay at home, they've turned to alternative domestic forms of entertainment.(more…)
- Political football
- 20 April 2021
For reasons that are too boring to recount here, a select few top-tier European football clubs are planning an exclusive European Super League. For other reasons, that are similarly too boring, many people are upset by the proposal. A third group cannot give a shit one way or the other; this is a mark of disinterest, not constipation.(more…)
- Economic double bubble
- 19 April 2021
Australia and New Zealand have opened a travel bubble for flights between the two nations, because they both have the pandemic under control and are safe. Until they're not, that is.(more…)
- Null points
- 2 April 2021
The Dutch government has given permission for 3,500 fans to attend the Eurovision Song Contest in person this year. I'm surprised that there are that many. Obviously lockdown has had a greater detrimental effect on the Dutch psyche than I'd imagined.(more…)
- We wish you a merry Christmas
- 23 October 2020
As more of England and Wales goes into the highest tier of COVID-19 restrictions, Chief Secretary to the Treasury, Stephen Barclay,(more…)
said there was a
common purpose here to get the virus downso people could enjoy Christmas.
- One in a million
- 22 October 2020
What makes one million a(more…)
landmark figure, other than for lazily dramatic, soundbite reporting that is? Surely, numerically it's a
1with only zeros behind it, a lot of them, so there's a degree of binary simplicity to it. And if you group those zeros into threes, you have exactly two of them…1,000,000.
70 GOTO 10
- 7 September 2020
As part of its response to the(more…)
China syndrome, MegaCorpCH has instituted remote working, as well as social distancing for those who have to go into the office. To comply with the latter, we are required to book office space using
- Sponger sponging
- 26 August 2020
The UK government's scheme to get more people eating in restaurants during August has not been an unqualified success. Some hospitaliers have complained about abuse towards staff; that the influx of custom is focussed between Monday and Wednesday, when the scheme is in effect, leaving the weekends quiet; and that support would have made more impact during the off-season period, when it's more needed.(more…)
- It's finger cleanin' responsibly good
- 25 August 2020
KFC is temporarily shelving its(more…)
finger lickin' goodslogan, in light of the pandemic.
- Party poopers
- 23 August 2020
As Birmingham is added to the UK government's yo-yo(more…)
watch list, due to a spike in COVID-19 cases, police have disrupted more than seventy unlicensed social gatherings in one night.
- Eat your heart out
- 3 August 2020
One of the criticisms that's been raised against the UK Chancellor's August(more…)
Eat Out To Help Outinitiative is that it extends to junk food outlets.
- Muzzle puzzle
- 1 August 2020
Those normally compliant Germans are up in arms over their government's COVID-19 restrictions, complaining that they violate their rights and freedoms. The restrictions include wearing face coverings in shops and on public transport; social distancing rules; and hygiene requirements. France could do with the latter.(more…)
- Deep thinker?
- 22 July 2020
Americans are angry about masks. They're not the only ones, but some of them also have guns…as well as a chip on each shoulder.(more…)
- The buffet slayer
- 19 July 2020
The COVID-19 pandemic is killing the US buffet. Although, judging by the size of Americans, I'm surprised that the very notion of an all-you-can-eat buffet hadn't become certain financial suicide years ago.(more…)
- The times they are a'changin'
- 19 July 2020
David Shukman, the BBC's science editor, asks whether climate change could mean that(more…)
Summers could become. Except that he doesn't, really.
too hot for humans
- Masking the 'truth'
- 19 July 2020
Fernando Duarte, of the BBC World Service investigates why men are less likely to wear masks, despite reports that death rates are notably higher among men than women. There have been some(more…)
scientificstudies on this phenomenon. But, like many, if not all, human behavioural and epidemiology studies into issues surrounding COVID-19 over the months since the outbreak, they're generally too small, rushed, focussed, or
biasedpoorly-designed for anyone but the credulous to draw meaningful conclusions. The World Health Organization,
The Donald, and
BoJomight be persuaded, but they're either desperate, cretinous, or both—in that order.
- Return to whose normality?
- 18 July 2020
UK Premier, Boris Johnson, has announced his plans for a(more…)
significant return to normalityby Christmas.
- So that's alright then!
- 17 July 2020
Following COVID-19 lockdowns at the beginning of the year, the Chinese economy went into a sharp decline. But, since then, it has shown a sharp recovery, and China avoids going into recession. Unlike the economies of its victim countries.(more…)
- Missing the point?
- 16 July 2020
The sending of a black teenager to juvenile detention for not doing her online schoolwork has led to the inevitable protests and calls for her release in Detroit, Michigan. One mother, Sheri Crawley, told local TV news(more…)
I know if Grace was a 15-year-old white girl she would not be sitting in juvenile detention right now.
- Oh, the irony!
- 16 July 2020
If you believe the research from the University of Manchester, Chinese students are afraid to study in the UK because they fear the high death toll from the COVID-19 pandemic.(more…)
- Masking the joy
- 15 July 2020
Part of the thrill is letting it all out. This doesn't look like fun to me.(more…)
- Some hope!
- 15 July 2020
As part of a £30bn plan to reinvigorate the UK economy and(more…)
prevent mass unemployment, HMG is to cut VAT—sales tax—on hospitality from 20% to 5% until next January, as well as offering £1,000 to companies for every employee that they keep on staff for three months after the end of the furlough scheme in October. Not only that, but the Chancellor will give a 50% discount to diners eating out during August.
- [Han]cock and bull story
- 14 July 2020
In part justification for an illogical mandate for customers to wear masks in shops and supermarkets, the UK's Health Secretary is reported to have told Parliament:(more…)
- UK Government in not making sense shock!
- 14 July 2020
In the latest instalment of the COVID-19 pandemic fallout, the UK Government has announced that face coverings will become mandatory in shops and supermarkets in England from 24 July.(more…)
- What price 'safety'?
- 29 June 2020
In the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic, the EU has decided to reopen borders to citizens from fifteen non-EU countries. Pending a reciprocal agreement, China will be included among the(more…)
safe travel destinations.
- Make love, not football
- 18 May 2020
During the COVID-19 lockdown, football clubs are playing their matches to empty stadia. The BBC asks(more…)
if play can only resume in empty stadiums, how can the atmosphere be improved?
- Create a need and fill it
- 16 May 2020
In order to protect themselves during the COVID-19 pandemic, people are buying disposable surgical/medical face masks. I came across a pile of boxes in a department store today. They were made in China. (mad)(more…)