And it's come to this

I could get into trouble for this

There are 68 posts tagged: "Chongvirus/WuFlu"

Neverending lockdown
24 May 2022

President Pooh's lackeys at the WHO are concerned over China's response to the WuFlu. They believe that continued lockdowns in the face of Chongvirus omicron are not sustainable. Oh well, never mind.

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Not isolated enough
12 May 2022

It appears that, although Kim Jong-un declared a shining success in dealing with the Wuflu last year, Chongvirus Omicron is now having a gay old time in North Korea. Despite the secretive state closing its borders in January 2020, Omicron has found a way into lil' fatboy's Supreme Leader's playpit.

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The price of reporting
29 April 2022

It's an age-old tactic, used by mobsters for decades. If someone squeals on you, you retaliate by taking out revenge on their family.

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Postcard from the ancestral homeland
16 March 2022

China's economic resurgence has met a stumbling block in the shape of Chongvirus Omicron. Like its elder brother, Delta, Omicron is making a pilgrimage to its ancestral homeland, and is having a gay old time in the economically- and technologically-important regions of Guangdong, Jilin, Shandong, Shanghai, and Shenzhen.

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xxx?
15 March 2022

Vaccination was rarely discussed widely online before the pandemic. It's just not one of those subjects for most people.

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Not throwing caution to the wind
20 February 2022

England is planning to rejoin the first world in the coming days, as BoJo warns against throwing caution to the wind.

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First world nation
18 February 2022

Yesterday saw the lifting of Chongmask mandates in shops and restaurants in Switzerland. Proof of Chongvax is also no longer needed. By the end of next month, we should be able to go Chongmaskless on public transport.

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It takes allsorts
11 February 2022

Prince Charles has had to call off his attendance at the unveiling of a statue in Winchester, after he contracted the WuFlu. The statue of Licoricia of Winchester was instead unveiled by a man in a fetching blue uniform.

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Truckers not truckin'
9 February 2022

As the Ottawan truckers' protest continues, Sam Cabral's there on the frontlines. Or not. Actually, he's in Washington, from where he outlines some thoughts as to how it might be brought to an end.

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Hey Joe
5 February 2022

The remaining members of CSNY have joined Neil Young in removing their music from Spotify. This is since Spotify has instituted misinformation warnings, and Joe Rogan has undertaken to be more balanced in future.

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Head in the Clouds
29 January 2022

Another ageing hippy, and musical has-been, is leaving Spotify over Chongvirus misinformation. This time, it's Joni Mitchell.

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Old man howls at moon
25 January 2022

Ageing rocker, Neil Young, has demanded that Spotify remove his music from its platform, in protest at podcaster Joe Rogan spreading Chongvax misinformation.

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Alpha meatheads assemble!
19 January 2022

It's generally the case that major cultural changes in the US eventually make it to the UK within five years: rock'n'roll; fast food; frivolous and vexatious litigation; and, most recently, brain death. Yes, the UK now has its very own anti-vax sovereign citizens. (SMH)

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Going postal
18 January 2022

Beijing city officials warn that a local woman may have contracted Chongvirus Omicron from a foreign parcel. If true—and we're taking the word of CCP shitheads here, so caution is advised—then, by the same token, this could be one way in which they exported their little billet-doux to the world. (nosmile)

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CS:CH
11 January 2022

One of the appliances in my pied-à-terre has gone on the blink. After almost a week, the service company has deigned to send an engineer to look at it tomorrow. FWP, eh?

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The great escape
7 January 2022

The BBC might like to consider pulling their homepage text from the same source as their article headlines. That way, they would only have to correct any errors once. Of course, BBC editorial competence being what it is, the downside is that they could have the same error twice.

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I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
16 December 2021

UK theatres are warning that cancellations to pantomime shows, in the wake of Chongvirus Omicron, threaten their finances. No shit, who'd've thunk it? (thinking)

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Give me the reason
16 December 2021

In an effort to slow the spread of Chongvirus Omicron, French Prime Minister Jean Castex has announced tightened travel restrictions for visitors from the UK.

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Dutch oven
16 December 2021

Thierry Baudet, a right-wing Dutch MP, has been ordered by a court to remove Twitter posts likening restrictions against the unvaccinated to the treatment of Jews during the Holocaust.

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Tronto
7 December 2021

Shilling hard for Destination Toronto/TCVA, Lindsey Galloway tells us why Toronto is The Canadian city to visit this winter.

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Give us an 'E'
27 November 2021

Back when Chongvirus Delta emerged from the fetid sewers of India, the WHO introduced a handy-dandy, easy-to-use, no-blame-no-shame naming system, based on the Greek alphabet. The WHO presumably consulted with the Greeks and, just as presumably, they're fine with this.

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The piggy premium
26 November 2021

With news that a highly-mutated Chongvirus variant has been detected in southern Africa, the UK transport secretary, Grant Shapps, announced new travel restrictions as a safety-first approach. It at least demonstrates that lessons from the delta variant have been learned. Which is something, I suppose.

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I'm a nonentity...get me some publicity!
25 November 2021

British TV host and journalist, Richard Madeley, fell ill on the set of reality TV programme, I'm a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here! It certainly did get him out of there, his hospitalisation meant that he'd broken the set's COVID bubble, and it was therefore a one-way trip.

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My learned works?
24 November 2021

I have absolutely no idea why Journal of Corona Virus [sic] has contacted me for my helpful contribution. They may have read my learned works in the field, but I think it's unlikely.

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Pooh payment
12 November 2021

AstraZeneca have announced that, as the WuFlu changes from pandemic to endemic—their words, not mine—the company will start to make some profit from its Chongvax. Nick Dearden, director of campaign group Global Justice Now, who appears to live in an economic fantasy land, railed against the decision, stating that it shows the utter folly of giving away publicly-funded science to big pharma. While the AZ vaccine was developed in conjunction with Oxford University, the company has borne the cost of production and getting the drug to market. And it's still the cheapest on the market.

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Losers
11 October 2021

As the US government and state authorities introduce mandatory vaccination against the Chongvirus for public sector workers, some of those workers are choosing to leave their jobs instead. Healthcare workers who reject the mandate as politically-motivated, or an invasion of their sovereign rights, have a difficult argument to make in their favour, since they must already be vaccinated against MMR and hepatitis.

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Just passing through
25 September 2021

File this wanton idiocy under dumb things press secretaries say.

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Rapper's denial
16 September 2021

One of the joys of instant-access social media is that it offers celebrities the opportunity to show the world how moronic they are. In this case, Nicki Minaj declaring on Twitter that the friend of a cousin in Trinidad became impotent after receiving the Chongvax. His testicles became swollen.

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Carded
6 September 2021

For wont of anything better to do with her time, and the BBC licence payers' money, Adrienne Murray asks the burning question of the day: Has Covid killed off business cards for good?

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Tinfoil vaccine
14 August 2021

An international resistance movement opposed to Chongvaxes and restrictions is growing on social media. Their plan is to separate themselves from vaccinated members of society, who they fear will make them ill.

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All I want for Christmas is less plastic
13 August 2021

The roadtrip continues to Ningbo-Zhoushan, the world's third busiest port. Chongvirus Delta has closed one of the terminals, reducing the port's capacity by about a quarter.

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Jabby
9 August 2021

Among those hesitant of vaccination against the Chongvirus are the 10% of the population with a fear of needles. Apparently, they can waste hours at clinics being coached into a jab, only to walk away at the last moment, or faint.

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Ancestral homeland
2 August 2021

It may have been raised in the fetid sewers of India but, yearning for the homeland of its ancestors, Chongvirus Delta has now made its pilgrimage to the fetid sewers of China. This time of year is, apparently, the domestic tourism season, so it should afford an excellent opportunity for Delta to visit many parts of the country.

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The sixth sense
23 July 2021

Writing for BBC Future, David Robson explores the complexities of Chongvax hesitancy. To cut a dull story short, much of the reluctance is attributed to the 5Cs: confidence; complacency; calculation; constraints, or convenience; and collective responsibility.

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Trust me, I'm my wife
23 July 2021

A Covid-positive Indonesian man boarded an internal flight disguised as his wife, carrying her passport and negative test result. He was caught mid-air after he changed from his disguise, which included a full-face veil, into his own clothes. Idiot.

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Bursting the bubble?
21 July 2021

Oh shit, that's torn it.

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Population control
21 July 2021

BBC News's population correspondent, Stephanie Hegarty, reports on the Mexican villages refusing to vaccinate against the Chongvirus. Her article wasn't interesting enough for me to finish reading it.

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The bigger they come
15 July 2021

Marley Ngarizemo has lost fifteen of his relatives to the Chongvirus in Namibia. This is undoubtedly a personal tragedy for him and his family.

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Kim Jong-un, when him gon-un?
30 June 2021

North Korea's gluttonous glorious leader, Kim Jong-un, has castigated his top officials for lapses with severe consequences related to the Chongvirus.

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Make mine an hypocrisy on the rocks
25 June 2021

The UK's Health Secretary, Matt Hancock—emphasis on the cock—has been a naughty boy. He's been caught flouting his very own social distancing guidelines, by kissing an aide who he hired. C'mon, give the guy a break. It wouldn't have been much of an affair if they'd maintained social distancing requirements, FFS! (rolleyes)

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Tokyo no-go
25 June 2021

The British Olympic Association admits that some of its athletes don't want to be vaccinated against the Chongvirus prior to the Tokyo Olympic Games. Its chief executive, Andy Anson, said that while 90% of athletes will have been fully Chongvaxed prior to the Games, some are holding out.

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Trust me, I'm a doctor
6 June 2021

Twitter has suspended Dr Naomi Wolf's account, after she was found to have spread Chongvax misinformation. Her messages included such gems as vaccines being a software platform that can receive uploads, and that the excreta of vaccinated individuals should be separated from general sewage, until its impact on non-vaccinated people through drinking water has been studied. It seems more humorous, in a batshit crazy way, than misinformative to me; although if it's a sign of her mental illness, then I should feel bad for laughing.

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Let's start at the very beginning
1 June 2021

The WHO has introduced a new naming convention for variants of the Chongvirus. Following complaints from the Indian government, that the Indian variant was being referred to as the Indian variant, the WHO has introduced Greek letters to remove the stigma associated with country names. From now on, the variant first identified in the UK will be Alpha, while the Indian variant will be Delta, and so on.

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President 'Pa squares up to President Pooh
27 May 2021

US President Joe Biden has called on his intelligence officials to investigate the origins of the Chongvirus. The outbreak has been linked to human-animal contact by some, while others believe that it originated in a Chinese laboratory. China has warned against politicising the outbreak; but they would, wouldn't they?

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See no evil
20 May 2021

I obviously have a different interpretation of Covid-free to the BBC's. I take it to mean zero cases. Period. Not virtually zero or single-digit, which still indicate the disease's presence.

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Couldn't see it coming
8 May 2021

As Indian variants of the Chongvirus gain popularity in the UK, the bouncing bombsite has said the government needs to carefully handle outbreaks. Not letting them in to the country in the first place would've been a good place to start, BoJo.

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Friday on my mind
22 April 2021

As India reports the highest daily number of new Chongvirus cases anywhere—314,835 in the last 24 hours, as well as a new mutant strain—London Heathrow Airport is refusing to increase the number of flights from the subcontinent before it's added to the UK's red list on Friday. Meanwhile, the UK's former chief scientific adviser, Prof. Mark Walport, believes that the addition of India to the red list may already have come too late.

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Political football
20 April 2021

For reasons that are too boring to recount here, a select few top-tier European football clubs are planning an exclusive European Super League. For other reasons, that are similarly too boring, many people are upset by the proposal. A third group cannot give a shit one way or the other; this is a mark of disinterest, not constipation.

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Economic double bubble
19 April 2021

Australia and New Zealand have opened a travel bubble for flights between the two nations, because they both have the pandemic under control and are safe. Until they're not, that is.

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Null points
2 April 2021

The Dutch government has given permission for 3,500 fans to attend the Eurovision Song Contest in person this year. I'm surprised that there are that many. Obviously lockdown has had a greater detrimental effect on the Dutch psyche than I'd imagined.

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We wish you a merry Christmas
23 October 2020

As more of England and Wales goes into the highest tier of COVID-19 restrictions, Chief Secretary to the Treasury, Stephen Barclay, said there was a common purpose here to get the virus down so people could enjoy Christmas.

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One in a million
22 October 2020

What makes one million a landmark figure, other than for lazily dramatic, soundbite reporting that is? Surely, numerically it's a 1 with only zeros behind it, a lot of them, so there's a degree of binary simplicity to it. And if you group those zeros into threes, you have exactly two of them…1,000,000.

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Eat your heart out
3 August 2020

One of the criticisms that's been raised against the UK Chancellor's August Eat Out To Help Out initiative is that it extends to junk food outlets.

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Muzzle puzzle
1 August 2020

Those normally compliant Germans are up in arms over their government's COVID-19 restrictions, complaining that they violate their rights and freedoms. The restrictions include wearing face coverings in shops and on public transport; social distancing rules; and hygiene requirements. France could do with the latter.

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Random thought
23 July 2020

The COVID-19 pandemic has engendered vast commercial and academic research into its control. The financial and PR gains of finding the cure will be enormous, bordering on stratospheric:*

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Deep thinker?
22 July 2020

Americans are angry about masks. They're not the only ones, but some of them also have guns…as well as a chip on each shoulder.

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The buffet slayer
19 July 2020

The COVID-19 pandemic is killing the US buffet. Although, judging by the size of Americans, I'm surprised that the very notion of an all-you-can-eat buffet hadn't become certain financial suicide years ago.

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Masking the 'truth'
19 July 2020

Fernando Duarte, of the BBC World Service investigates why men are less likely to wear masks, despite reports that death rates are notably higher among men than women. There have been some scientific studies on this phenomenon. But, like many, if not all, human behavioural and epidemiology studies into issues surrounding COVID-19 over the months since the outbreak, they're generally too small, rushed, focussed, or biased poorly-designed for anyone but the credulous to draw meaningful conclusions. The World Health Organization, The Donald, and BoJo might be persuaded, but they're either desperate, cretinous, or both—in that order.

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Return to whose normality?
18 July 2020

UK Premier, Boris Johnson, has announced his plans for a significant return to normality by Christmas.

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So that's alright then!
17 July 2020

Following COVID-19 lockdowns at the beginning of the year, the Chinese economy went into a sharp decline. But, since then, it has shown a sharp recovery, and China avoids going into recession. Unlike the economies of its victim countries.

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Oh, the irony!
16 July 2020

If you believe the research from the University of Manchester, Chinese students are afraid to study in the UK because they fear the high death toll from the COVID-19 pandemic.

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While my heart gently bleeds
15 July 2020

US basketball player Elena Delle Donne complains that she has to choose whether to risk my life or forfeit my paycheck, as her Lyme disease is not considered by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention to increase risk for severe illness from the Chongvirus.

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Some hope!
15 July 2020

As part of a £30bn plan to reinvigorate the UK economy and prevent mass unemployment, HMG is to cut VAT—sales tax—on hospitality from 20% to 5% until next January, as well as offering £1,000 to companies for every employee that they keep on staff for three months after the end of the furlough scheme in October. Not only that, but the Chancellor will give a 50% discount to diners eating out during August.

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[Han]cock and bull story
14 July 2020

In part justification for an illogical mandate for customers to wear masks in shops and supermarkets, the UK's Health Secretary is reported to have told Parliament:

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UK Government in not making sense shock!
14 July 2020

In the latest instalment of the COVID-19 pandemic fallout, the UK Government has announced that face coverings will become mandatory in shops and supermarkets in England from 24 July.

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What price 'safety'?
29 June 2020

In the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic, the EU has decided to reopen borders to citizens from fifteen non-EU countries. Pending a reciprocal agreement, China will be included among the clean list safe travel destinations.

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Make love, not football
18 May 2020

During the COVID-19 lockdown, football clubs are playing their matches to empty stadia. The BBC asks if play can only resume in empty stadiums, how can the atmosphere be improved?

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Create a need and fill it
16 May 2020

In order to protect themselves during the COVID-19 pandemic, people are buying disposable surgical/medical face masks. I came across a pile of boxes in a department store today. They were made in China. (mad)

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