Hey, ya really bustin' ma balls here!

There are 172 posts tagged: "politics"

No shit guv'nor: 24 March 2023; In what can only be described as a big-brained moment, the governor of the Bank of England has warned that raising retail prices could drive up the cost of living and would most affect the least wealthy. No fucking shit! This must be why he earns the big bucks, having insight like that. (SMH)
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Talibomb: 9 March 2023; Things haven't gone too smoothly in Afghanistan, since the Taliban came to power in August 2021. And not just for the populace, who probably wish that all these arseholes were martyred, so they could just get on with their lives.
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Hypocrisy, thy name art faded footballer: 8 March 2023; Comrade Lineker has displeased the politburo of the People's Republic of Portland Place, by likening the UK's asylum policy to [cough] a certain period in Germany's history. He's to be spoken to and reminded of his responsibilities towards the republic. Antagonising the government draws its unwanted attention to the BBC's other activities.
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Rong wregime: 7 March 2023; China's new foreign minister, Qin Gang, put a shot across US President Pa's bows, when he vowed: Containment and suppression will not make America great.
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Is there a grindstone in the house?: 3 March 2023; Disgraced former UK health secretary, Matt Hancock—emphasis on the cock—has published an account of his time as Kommandant Gefangenenlagers Großbritannien during the pandemic. Imaginatively enough, his opus—or should that be meisterwerk?—is entitled Pandemic Diaries: The inside story of Britain’s battle against Covid. But the story got a little more inside than he'd anticipated.
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Poohan: 1 March 2023; Whether the WuFlu originated from wildlife at a market or a laboratory is probably a moot point to most people. We know it originated somewhere in Wuhan, there's a clue in the name, and that's all that really matters.
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Modi operandi: 14 February 2023; The BBC finds itself in a little spat with the Indian government, after a documentary painted the country's prime minister, Narendra Modi, in a none too flattering light.
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Oh, the irany: 1 February 2023; An Iranian couple have been jailed for promoting corruption, prostitution, and propaganda, after posting a video of themselves dancing in the street beside Tehran's Azadi Tower (برج آزادی or Freedom Tower). Amply demonstrating that the Iranian authorities have nothing if not a sense of irony.
A sting in the tale: 27 January 2023; Five black police officers are under investigation for the death of a black motorist in Memphis, TN. Race agitator, Rev. Al Sharpton, claimed: I do not believe these five black police officers would have done this had he been a young white man.
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Fish out of water: 26 January 2023; First minister for Scotland, Nicola Sturgeon, is at it again. The it being not thinking things through to their logical conclusion. In the case of a transgender woman rapist being remanded in a women's prison, she seems to think that transgender women aren't a threat to real, biologically-relevant ones.
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No defence: 16 January 2023; The announcement of the German defence minister's resignation is remarkable only for this observation on the post in question:
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What's the difference between 35 and 22?: 31 December 2022; Investigative news magazine 60 Minutes Australia questions whether OzGov is being sold a pup, in the shape of the Joint Strike Fighter programme's Lockheed Martin F-35 Lightning II. The Aussie defence minister comes across as an arrogant prick, with a smug you-just-have-to-accept-I-know-what's-best demeanour, while a former senior RAAF leader waxes lyrical over his preference for the F-22 Raptor.
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INCOMING!!: 28 December 2022; One of the downsides to President Pooh's relaxation of his sewer's Covid restrictions is that its denizens will be free to travel abroad as of next month. Undoubtedly bringing their pestilence, the incidence of which is rising, with them.
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Be careful what you wish for: 28 December 2022; Reacting to the Taliban's prohibition against women attending university, a nineteen year-old Afghan girl wishes god had never created women.
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Dolled up: 27 December 2022; For those of us blissfully unaware that South Korea prohibited the import of sex dolls, it doesn't. At least not any longer, because officials have lifted the ban that was in place. This will come as a relief to some of the country's citizens more than others.
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Hijab hysteria: 25 December 2022; The Taliban has banned women from working with non-governmental organisations, citing dress code violations. The UN has condemned the move as a contravention of fundamental human rights, while the US Secretary of State criticised it as devastating for the Afghan people.
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Beware of Greeks accepting gifts: 13 December 2022; Greek MEP and one of no less than fourteen EU vice-presidents, Eva Kaili, is in a bit of a bind. It was seemingly with the best of intentions that she just recently tried to assuage Gary Lineker's angst over attending Qatar 2022:
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Not-so-peaceful prize: 11 December 2022; This year's Nobel Peace Prize has been awarded to three people: Oleksandra Matviichuk of Ukraine; Ales Bialiatski from Belarus; and Russian, Yan Rachinsky. While Ms Matviichuk praised Mr Rachinsky's work and described Memorial [the Russian civil rights group which he heads] as our partner, she refused to be interviewed alongside him.
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Not reading the room: 7 December 2022; In the wake of China's about-face cancellation of its zero-WuFlu policy, to the relief of many of its denizens, some have actually expressed concern over the sudden changes.
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A shortness of Trusst: 4 December 2022; Nick Robinson, a presenter on BBC's Today programme, outlines eleven gambles that went wrong for Liz Truss. So far, so drear. She was, after all, the UK's shortest-serving prime minister; the only remarkable aspect of her tenure being how quickly she crashed and burned.
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The pied piper: 2 December 2022; New York is hiring, if you're in the mind to fill the role of director of rodent mitigation. The Big Apple has a rat infestation problem, and the city's willing to pay well for a modern-day pied piper…or anyone sufficiently murine-adverse.
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Girls just wanna have fun: 30 November 2022; The prime ministers of New Zealand and Finland—Jacinda Ardern, 42, and Sanna Marin, 37—have dismissed a journalist's suggestion that they met in Aukland because they're women of similar age.
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Free wees: 23 November 2022; The UK's Supreme Court has ruled the Scottish government cannot hold a second independence referendum next October, without approval from the UK government. Scotland's first minister, Nicola Sturgeon, isn't happy; she'd prefer a free Scotland to be governed by Brussels rather than Westminster.
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Symbolic gesture: 19 November 2022; The BBC is sending Gary Lineker, its most highly-paid mouth-breather, to Qatar to watch tosspots kick balls around fields. But, he's not excited by the prospect. Oh no. He's really only going so that he can champion the cause of human rights and raise awareness. Oh yes.
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Stolen future: 16 November 2022; With the announcement that he intends to run for US president in 2024, and given his magnanimity in defeat, I'm calling it now: Donald J. Trump won't lose the election; it'll be stolen from him. (wink)
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Careful what you wish for: 7 November 2022; New Hampshire Democrats thought they'd be clever. By running a campaign attacking a moderate Republican candidate, they planned for a bonkers rival, Gen. Don Bolduc (retd), to win his party's nomination for the Senate. Their incumbent senator would easily trounce him, thus retaining her seat in the upper house.
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Dead man running: 26 October 2022; Merkan politics keep getting dragged up too often on even the little social media that I involve myself in: YouTube. It's just asinine and tedious. So I tend to avoid anything on the subject, unless it's particularly amusing.
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Third time's the charm...?: 24 October 2022; Rishi Sunak has won what amounted to a one-and-a-quarter-horse race to become the UK's third prime minister, and the Conservative Party's third leader, in the space of less than two months.
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Souper: 16 October 2022; Two spotty greebos protesting for Just Stop Oil threw what appeared to be tomato soup over Van Gogh's Sunflowers painting at London's National Gallery. This what appeared to be tomato soup wasn't just any old common-or-garden tomato soup though, but Heinz's cream of tomato soup. The very best of its kind. Fact!
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Lack of Trusst: 15 October 2022; How long has Liz Truss been the UK's prime minister? Not very long.
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What a fool should keep to himself: 10 October 2022; In what appears to be an effort to suck up to the nationalistic shitheads in its northwestern dominion, Elon Musk has thrown them Taiwan as a bone. But I'm sure he couldn't have an ulterior motive. Oh, no!
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What's a rom?: 4 October 2022; Bros is a romcom that mixes up a dying genre with a same-sex relationship. Judging by the excruciating trailer though, it appears to be light on the com. So I guess that makes it a rom then.
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Just another four years...: 8 September 2022; Ninety-six year-old Queen Betty is under medical supervision at her Scottish retreat. The leader of the opposition Labour Party, Sir Keir Starmer, is deeply worried about the aged birth-giver, which must be alarming for all who're close to her.
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Thank you for your support, I'll always wear it: 7 September 2022; As Liz Truss takes over from BoJo as the UK's prime minister, she’s ousting her political rivals’ supporters from the Cabinet in favour of her own hench(wo)men. But she was only given the role by her party, not the great unwashed.
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Not privileged at all: 24 August 2022; Paul Pelosi—husband of US speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi—has been sentenced to five days in jail, for driving under the influence of alcohol. Or, rather, for crashing his car under the influence of alcohol. Because that's what led to his arrest, innit?
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Send in the clown: 3 August 2022; US House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's visit to Taiwan is not being met with great enthusiasm among the sabre-rattling shitheads of the island's north-west dominion.
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How to back a winner: 3 August 2022; Voters in Missouri have voted on something. It may have been abortion rights, it may have been something else. Dunno, the BBC's reporters seem to have brought unrelated threads together in their story on Kansas' abortion vote, and somewhat confused the message.
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Justice is blind: 20 July 2022; The US House of Representatives has passed the Respect for Marriage Act, which offers protection for interracial and same-sex marriages. Nevertheless, Democrats are concerned that the US Supreme Court could roll back same-sex marriage rights.
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So long, and thanks for all the cash!: 13 July 2022; After overseeing the economic ruin of his country, Sri Lanka's former president, Gotabaya Rajapaksa, has fled to the Maldives. In a similar vein, his brother, the former finance minister, decided that a sojourn to the US was in order.
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Can you see his lips move?: 13 July 2022; As the parliamentary Conservatives gather around to choose their new leader, the Labour Party leadership has called for a vote of no confidence in the Prime Minister. Which is rather like shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted. That vote was taken last week, when the government's ministers and underlings saw the writing on the wall, and collectively soiled themselves.
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The running man: 12 July 2022; Olympian Sir Mo Farah has been praised for discussing his childhood trauma, being trafficked into the UK and forced into domestic servitude. The usual fawning yada-yada from the usual political, media, and celebrity suspects.
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BoJo gonna gogo?: 6 July 2022; Now that both his chancellor and health secretary have resigned over the latest scandal to hit his premiership, we have to wonder how long BoJo can continue to bluff his way. When he appointed Chris Pincher as deputy chief whip earlier this year, he tacitly admitted to knowing that the old pervert had an unenviable reputation, referring to him as Pincher by name, pincher by nature.
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Bum vote: 4 July 2022; Kenya heads towards national elections next month, and the country's spiralling cost of living has been a prominent feature on the campaign trail.
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Low interest: 20 June 2022; The lead from the BBC's home page tantalises five ways in which the rise in US interest rates will affect you. Compelling, no?
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Two-faced Charlie: 19 June 2022; As Commonwealth heads of state head to Rwanda for a knees-up, Prince Charles will be representing the Queen as the head of the Commonwealth. This will likely increase his chances of rubbing shoulders with BoJo, of whose Rwandan relocation plan he's not so keen.
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It's Istanbul, not Constantinople now: 2 June 2022; Turkey—the country, not the bird or colossal failure—is rebranding itself to Türkiye. The purpose of this change is not to distract from President Erdogan's economic failings in the run-up to next year's elections. Oh no.
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Assault with a deadly weapon: 29 May 2022; In the wake of recent mass-shootings in Buffalo and Uvalde, both of which involved the deadly use of semi-automatic weapons, US Vice-President Kamala Harris has denounced access to such firearms within the USofArmaments, stating: An assault weapon is a weapon of war.
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Chicken, egg; egg, chicken: 28 May 2022; Dennis Butler was warned to slow down while passing a celebratory event in Charleston, WV, because children were playing there. When the convicted felon returned to fire on the crowd with a semi-automatic rifle, a bystander drew her own gun and popped a cap in his ass, killing him and saving innocent lives. Bloody good show, lady!
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A fitting send-off: 25 May 2022; Only a day after US President 'Pa departed for home from a five-day trip to South Korea and Japan, North Korea marked the occasion with its very own salute to FJB: launching three ballistic missiles in less than an hour.
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Crazy guy, gun crazy: 25 May 2022; Only ten days after an 18-year-old man shot dead ten people in a racially-motivated attack in Buffalo, NY, another has killed 21, including 19 children aged nine to eleven, at a school in Uvalde, TX. This second assailant launched his courageous attack on unarmed civilians with a handgun, a semi-automatic rifle, and high-capacity magazines.
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Elections: the outcome is all a matter of perspective: 22 May 2022; Anthony Albanese will head Australia's first Labor government in almost a decade, as voters jumped ship from Scott Morrison's Liberal-National Coalition. Although all the votes have yet to be counted, Morrison has conceded defeat, and world leaders, as well as BoJo, have acknowledged the Labor Party's victory.*
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Political dishonesty: 17 May 2022; It appears, quelle surprise!, that the Russian population receives a different narrative on the war in Ukraine to the rest of us. But one military analyst, retired colonel Mikhail Khodarenok, gave a frank and forthright assessment of the situation on Russian state TV: we are in total political isolation and the whole world is against us, even if we don't want to admit it.
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The right to bear scary arms: 12 May 2022; A Californian federal appeals court has struck down a state ban on the sale of semi-automatic firearms to people under the age of 21. The reasoning is quite exceptional, albeit illogical. But what's logic got to do with US gun law?
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Foetal accident: 10 May 2022; More controversy over five-letter words in Wordle. On 9 May, some users found that the answer was FETUS. The NYT claimed that this was coincidental. Nevertheless, the bonkers brigade thought that it was a deliberate attempt to comment on the US abortion debate.
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Having their meat and eating it: 4 May 2022; As the US Supreme Court appears set to challenge women's right to abortion, conservative and religious pro-lifers hope that Roe vs Wade will be overturned. I can't help but wonder how many of them are vegan or vegetarian though.
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Old-fashioned communications: 24 April 2022; Jacob Rees-Mogg, UK Cabinet minister for Brexit Opportunities and Government Efficiency,* is upsetting the peons. He's been leaving little notes on the desks of civil servants who have yet to return to the office, stating: Sorry you were out when I visited. I look forward to seeing you in the office very soon.
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Rwandan hotel: 14 April 2022; The bouncing booby, UK Prime Minister BoJo, plans to fly asylum seekers to Rwanda, of all places, for processing. It's not clear whether they're given a return ticket, at UK tax payers' expense, or have to make their own way back. After all, if they did it once, they can surely do it again.
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Joining the lunatics: 8 April 2022; Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson's appointment to the US Supreme Court fulfils President 'Pa's campaign pledge to put a black woman on the court. Consideration of the most suitable candidate is irrelevant. He just needed a black woman, presumably one with some legal experience. And preferably one who was on the giving, rather than the receiving, end of the justice system.
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No noose is good news: 31 March 2022; US President 'Pa has signed the Emmett Till Antilynching Act, thus making an act that hasn't occurred in decades a federal hate crime, punishable by up to 30 years' imprisonment. For what is also murder, punishable by up to life imprisonment or death. Think about it.
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Gender denial: 24 March 2022; I cannot pretend that I understand the background, or care much, but there's a lot of discussion over the pond about what defines a woman. It seems like a strange question, because the answer's screamingly obvious to anyone with an above-room temperature IQ. But I think it may have something to do with US law, and twinkies' rights over normals.
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Liver hard, die young: 20 February 2022; BoJo's bozos—AKA the UK government—are likely to drop plans to ban the import of foie gras, after several cabinet ministers raised concerns over upcoming dinner parties.
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First world nation: 18 February 2022; Yesterday saw the lifting of Chongmask mandates in shops and restaurants in Switzerland. Proof of Chongvax is also no longer needed. By the end of next month, we should be able to go Chongmaskless on public transport.
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Truckers not truckin': 9 February 2022; As the Ottawan truckers' protest continues, Sam Cabral's there on the frontlines. Or not. Actually, he's in Washington, from where he outlines some thoughts as to how it might be brought to an end.
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Champagne conservative: 9 February 2022; After we've discovered that Boozy BoJo has a pretty ropey taste in beer, is seems that his, or his carers', taste in champagne is more refined. At least, that appears to be a bottle of Veuve Cliquot to the left of the image.
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Skating on thin ice: 8 February 2022; Wahey! Weibo's nationalistic shitheads are at it again. The it being brutally castigating their Olympians' performances, when failing to excel at things that they—the nationalistic shitheads, that is—wouldn't have a hope in hell of achieving in the first place. In particular, figure skater Zhu Yi, who fell a lot, leaving Team China out of the medals.
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Drinking piss: 5 February 2022; As the pressure on BoJo over restriction-busting knees-ups at Downing Street increases, it appears that the PM was photographed at one event holding a can of beer.
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White men need not apply: 18 January 2022; A think-piece on Substack, Hollywood's New Rules by Peter Kiefer and Peter Savodnik, exposes a new pattern of discrimination, in a land in which it's been rife for decades. This is yet another tit-for-tat, boot's-on-the-other-foot situation, in which people are awarded work not strictly on merit, but simply for not being heterosexual white men.
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Looks like a pig, walks like a pig...: 18 January 2022; As we delight in BoJo's further embarrassment over restrictions-busting boozy knees-ups at Downing Street, his former chief adviser tried to blow all pretence of innocence-through-ignorance out of the water.
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Licence-free: 17 January 2022; It's been a long time coming. But the winds of change are finally set to blow throughout the People's Republic of Portland Place.
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Boozy nights: 16 January 2022; While the rest of Britain was in lockdown, the studz'n'wenchz of Westminster showed that they know how to PAAAR‑TAAY. Rules are made to be broken. Ask Matt Han(don)cock, he wrote them.
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NY jelly: 11 January 2022; New York mayor, Eric Adams, has endorsed a bill allowing non-citizens to vote in local elections. It's not a universally-embraced decision. Opponents argue that the bill gives influence to people who have no commitment to the community, and who haven't put in the work and tax dollars.
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Stoner: 11 January 2022; Protesters on the French overseas territory of St Pierre and Miquelon have attacked their MP, by pelting him with seaweed. Stéphane Claireaux took his ordeal stoically.
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Green sky thinking: 2 January 2022; Following COP26, now is the time for politicians to make bold pledges; irrespective of achievability. Because grand, but empty, gestures are just what the world needs. Forget the implementation and actual impact, we'll fix that in post. Or not. (rolleyes)
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Levelling up?: 18 December 2021; A story of further embarrassment for BoJo's government, over restrictions-busting office Christmas parties, is remarkable only for bringing to my attention the fact that there's a Department for Levelling Up, Housing and Communities within HMG. What the actual fuck is levelling up supposed to mean? (confused)
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Gagging order: 17 December 2021; Russia's authorities like to throw their weight around. One of the ways that they do this, on the internet, is by demanding the removal of social media content that they deem to be illegal. Their definition of illegal, though, extends to content that is simply critical of them, or supportive of the opposition. Who could've possibly guessed? (thinking)
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Take THAT, Pooh!: 17 December 2021; The US has previously accused China of genocide towards the Uighur muslims. Now, Congress has passed a bill, by an overwhelming majority, to prohibit imports from the Xinjiang region produced with forced labour.
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Give me the reason: 16 December 2021; In an effort to slow the spread of Chongvirus Omicron, France's prime minister Jean Castex has announced tightened travel restrictions for visitors from the UK.
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Dutch oven: 16 December 2021; Thierry Baudet, a right-wing Dutch MP, has been ordered by a court to remove Twitter posts likening restrictions against the unvaccinated to the treatment of Jews during the Holocaust.
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A tale of two cities: 1 December 2021; Tel Aviv has pushed Paris into joint second place, alongside Singapore, as the most expensive city in the world in which to live. Less than 300km away lies Damascus, which claims the title at the other end of the scale.
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That's a turnip for the books!: 1 December 2021; BBC News' Maddy Savage explains how Magdalena Andersson became Sweden's first female prime minister, twice! Except she didn't, really.
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Me, myself, I: 30 November 2021; During his pre-trial hearing for participating in the US Capitol riot on 6 January, James Beeks claimed that the court had no jurisdiction over him because he had divine authority. I'm not sure whether he's claiming to be directly related to god, or just a messenger. Perhaps his stage role as Judas in Jesus Christ Superstar has gone to his head; although, from my limited knowledge of the Bible, playing Judas doesn't sound particularly divine.
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The piggy premium: 26 November 2021; With news that a highly-mutated Chongvirus variant has been detected in southern Africa, the UK transport secretary, Grant Shapps, announced new travel restrictions as a safety-first approach. It at least demonstrates that lessons from the delta variant have been learned. Which is something, I suppose.
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27 down...: 26 November 2021; The drowning of 27 illegal migrants in the English Channel is followed by the predictable handwringing from the great and the good. I wonder how many of them would actually turn their own back yards over to a camp?
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This little piggy...: 26 November 2021; BBC News' quiz of the week starts off with a question about BoJo's enjoyment of a children's theme park. I hadn't read the article, so I didn't know the answer…
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Let's go...: 20 November 2021; I've paid little attention to the Kyle Rittenhouse case. It's too mired in US politics, race relations, and gun law to be of even passing interest. Besides, polarising doesn't exacty float my boat.
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No mobile while mobile: 19 November 2021; Things are getting tougher for the UK's drivers.
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NAP26: 3 November 2021; Because we've all been there, haven't we?
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Acid tongue: 14 October 2021; Claudia Webbe, ex-Labour and currently independent MP for Leicester East, has been found guilty of harassing Michelle Merritt, between September 2018 and April 2020, with, among other things, threats of acid and sending naked photos of Merritt to her family. The basis for these attacks was a relationship that Merritt allegedly had with Webbe's partner, Lester Thomas.
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Just passing through: 25 September 2021; File this wanton idiocy under dumb things press secretaries say.
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Let the punishment fit the crime: 24 September 2021; The Taliban have announced that extreme punishments, including execution and amputation, will resume in Afghanistan. Mullah Nooruddin Turabi, who has an infamously zealous history in the pursuit of justice, claimed that amputations were necessary for security.
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Poohcom: 23 September 2021; Lithuania's National Cyber Security Centre has reported security flaws and built-in censorship tools, in 5G mobiles from Chinese manufacturers. As a consequence, the country's Defence Ministry has recommended that its citizens not purchase new Chinese smartphones, and replace their current ones as soon as feasible.
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Learnons-nous Franglais avec BoJo: 22 September 2021; In the wake of French outcry over the Aukus military pact between Australia, UK, and the US, Boris Johnson demonstrated linguistic skills that match his capacity for tact and diplomacy. Speaking from Washington, en Franglais, he had this message for Emanuel Macron:
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Not forevergrande: 21 September 2021; With the potential collapse of Evergrande, the world's most indebted real estate developer, the outlook for China's economy is looking a little precarious. They'll have to churn out more Chongmasks to compensate.
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When Supreme Leader says 'jump'...: 3 September 2021; It must be easy to be a dictator. All you have to do is tell your minions what to do, and they'll do it. Job done!
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Too much too young: 19 August 2021; While the Catholic League mither over a Muppet Babies episode fostering transitioning among preschoolers, the Scottish government is going all-in once they get to school. It has published guidance for schools on supporting transgender young people; with young people defined as children or young people who are of school age.
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Idiots 0 : 1 Taliban: 16 August 2021; Following the removal of allied forces from Afghanistan, the Taliban curiously reneged on their promise not to be naughty, and have rapidly captured most of the country, including the capital, Kabul. Twenty years of sacrifice, for nothing. I suppose Grandpa Joe now wishes that he'd asked for a pretty pinky promise with a bow on top.
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Too close to call?: 12 August 2021; Flordelis dos Santos de Souza has been expelled from Brazil's lower house of Congress, for allegedly plotting her husband's murder in 2019.
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Karaoke should be illegal: 11 August 2021; China is to ban karaoke songs with illegal content, including songs which incite ethnic hatred and ethnic discrimination.
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Take me home, racist roads: 10 August 2021; Thus opens Tara McKelvey's report on Biden's unlikely plan to use roads to fight racism. Note the quotes that she uses around the word racist. Could it be that she's using someone else's description, but it's one that she is sceptical about? If so, good for her, she might just be a critical thinker, and therefore a cut above the average BBC News mouth-breather.
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Sore losers: 3 August 2021; It appears that Weibo's nationalist shitheads don't take kindly to China's Olympic athletes unpatriotically losing out on gold. From behind their keyboards and keypads, they fulminate and humiliate their fellow countrymen and ‑women for failing at something that they could never achieve themselves. And the athletes, like dumfux, accept it.
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Time is running out: 3 August 2021; And it's a race to the finish line!
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China doesn't do naughty things on the internet: 20 July 2021; Several governments have accused China of hacking Microsoft Exchange. China, in return, has strongly denied these claims, and has always maintained that it opposes all forms of cyber-crime.
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Home aid: 11 July 2021; The UK government has recently announced a reduction in its foreign aid from 0.7% to 0.5% of national income, to compensate for the pandemic. In her response, Kate Hampton, chief executive of the Children's Investment Fund Foundation, referred to past years' British taxpayer generosity.
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Kim Jong-un, when him gon-un?: 30 June 2021; North Korea's ~~gluttonous~~ glorious leader, Kim Jong-un, has castigated his top officials for lapses with severe consequences related to the Chongvirus.
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Make mine an hypocrisy on the rocks: 25 June 2021; The UK health secretary, Matt Hancock—emphasis on the cock—has been a naughty boy. He's been caught flouting his very own social distancing guidelines, by kissing an aide who he hired. C'mon, give the guy a break. It wouldn't have been much of an affair if they'd maintained social distancing requirements, FFS! (rolleyes)
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Disunite the right!: 25 June 2021; A statue of George Floyd—career criminal and patron saint of fentanyl—situated in Brooklyn, New York, has been vandalised. Presumably by an art connoisseur. It was daubed with the website address of a far-right group called Patriot Front. So far, so what?
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E or H₂?: 11 June 2021; The BBC's chief environment correspondent, Justin Rowlatt, tells us Why it's the end of the road for petrol stations.
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Pleasies don't comsies: 11 June 2021; While on an official vist to Guatamala, US Vice-President Kamala Harris has urged its citizens not to make the journey to the US to enter illegally.
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The fifteen percenters: 5 June 2021; Finance ministers from the G7 group of leading economies are meeting in London to come to agreement on taxation of multinational companies. Some nations are upset that their taxation greed is driving multinational companies to find more tax-efficient countries to establish themselves.
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Ba-da-Bing ba-da-bong: 5 June 2021; Tank Man was an iconic symbol of the 1989 student protests in Tiananmen Square. A lone, unidentified man stood in front of a column of Chinese PLA tanks, only moving as the lead tank tried to manoeuvre around him, to once again block its path. China has censored all reference to this protest within the country. The L in PLA is as ironic as Tank Man is iconic.
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Asparagus: too exciting for lawyers: 2 June 2021; Belgian lawyers discovered a six-step recipe for asparagus hidden within the French text of the nation's official journal, Moniteur Belge.
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Annihilation of conscience?: 1 June 2021; A Chinese blogger, Qiu Ziming, has been jailed for slandering heroes and martyrs after criticising Chinese soldiers who died during clashes at the border with India.
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My mum's newspaper, as an audiobook: 27 May 2021; YouTube's algorithm is broken. Again. Or possibly it's because I can't set preferences, since I'm not signed into an account that I don't have. Whatever, the borg keeps bringing up The Podcast Of The Lotus Eaters and, worse, Alex ~~Bellend~~ Belfield, the self-styled ~~voices in his head~~ voice of reason in my recommended videos. For the love of the children, why?
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When is not a ban, a ban?: 25 May 2021; Following his deplatforming from social media, Donald Trump's bestie, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, has signed a bill to penalise technology companies that deplatform politicians. This legislation is, apparently, for everyday Floridians. As long as they're politicians, presumably.
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The new Thinkpol in training: 5 May 2021; Sarah Hewitt-Clarkson, head teacher at Anderton Park primary school, is instilling her pupils with a nice little Orwellian ethic. Children have been taught to call out sexist language and even to identify sexist stereotypes in books and worksheets. And the ~~programming~~ training starts at the age of three years in the nursery school.
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The transsporting life: 3 May 2021; In the same interview in which he announced his surgical diminution, Elliot Page objected to bans on transgender girls playing in girls' sports.
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Mmmmm-mmmm minty!: 30 April 2021; Menthol cigarettes are disproportionately harmful to black smokers, apparently, which is why the Biden administration aims to ban them. Opponents of the ban, which include rabble-rouser Al Sharpton, claim that banning a product that is most popular among African Americans is discriminatory. So, one side wants to ban menthol cigarettes because they discriminate against blacks, while the other side opposes the ban because it discriminates against blacks. At least that's clear.
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Friday on my mind: 22 April 2021; As India reports the highest daily number of new Chongvirus cases anywhere—314,835 in the last 24 hours, as well as a new mutant strain—London Heathrow Airport is refusing to increase the number of flights from the subcontinent before it's added to the UK's red list on Friday. Meanwhile, the UK's former chief scientific adviser, Prof. Mark Walport, believes that the addition of India to the red list may already have come too late.
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Political football: 20 April 2021; For reasons that are too boring to recount here, a select few top-tier European football clubs are planning an exclusive European Super League. For other reasons, that are similarly too boring, many people are upset by the proposal. A third group cannot give a shit one way or the other; this is a mark of disinterest, not constipation.
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My statistics are better than yours: 2 April 2021; How prophetic. Within a couple of days of Greenpeace and Possible mithering over frequent flyers, comes news that India has ridiculed long-term targets for net zero greenhouse gas emissions as pie in the sky.
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Curfew quarrel: 25 March 2021; Following the abduction of Sarah Everard in south London, police officers working on the case in the area advised women not to go out alone and to be careful; which doesn't seem too unreasonable, since the perpetrator was still at large at the time. But Baroness Jones of Moulsecoomb's response in the House of Lords upset a number of people, and was widely ridiculed:
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Return to normal: 23 March 2021; As a mass shooting at a Boulder, Colorado supermarket leaves ten people dead, it would be the mark of a true cynic to see any light in this tragedy.
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Arrogance, pollie-waffle style: 18 January 2021; According to the Victorian premier, Daniel Andrews, tennis players living under strict quarantine rules after arriving for the Australian Open will get no special treatment. Ummm, other than jumping the queue for entry to the country over 37,000 Australian citizens who have been trying to get home for months?
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(Im)peachy: 14 January 2021; In the final days of his presidency, as Orange Don becomes the first US President to be impeached twice, the BBC asks its voter panel for their opinion, in an article grandly entitled Americans react to historic second Trump impeachment.
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Dodging a bullet?: 8 January 2021; As Trump Republicans invade the Capitol, outgoing US President Donald Trump snubs the inauguration of President-Elect Biden, while also facing calls for a second impeachment and to be thrown out of office. And, thus, one of the most divisive US presidencies comes to an inglorious end. Not that it was too auspicious at the best of times.
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How many Republicans does it take to confirm a judge?: 27 October 2020; Orange Don's nomination for the US Supreme Court, Judge Amy Coney Barrett, has been confirmed by the US Senate in a 52-48 vote. According to the BBC's report, Mr Trump's fellow Republicans voted 52-48 to approve the judge, overcoming the unified opposition of Democrats.
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Silly sausage: 21 October 2020; One of the, ahem, meatier subjects to be debated by the European Parliament this week is when is a sausage not a sausage?
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Losing your head: 19 October 2020; In the wake of the brutal murder of a French teacher by an Islamic fundamentalist, thousands have rallied across France to support and honour him.
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Viral leadership: 2 October 2020; Not so long ago, I was musing to myself on some of Ronald Reagan's bon mots; how he used self-deprecating humour to disarm his detractors. While his rise to the highest office was met with derision from some quarters, he oversaw some truly ground-breaking moments in history, and has generally positive approval ratings. Yet, John Hinckley Jr. attempted his assassination.
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A pub with no cheer: 29 September 2020; And, speaking of isolation, meeting others in pubs is to be banned in the north east of England. Which rather defeats the object of going to the pub in the first place.
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I spy: 28 September 2020; As BoJo the yo-yo clamps down further on freedom in HMP GB, fines of £1,000 are being introduced for people failing to self-isolate in England, escalating to £10,000 for repeat offenders. According to the UK government, the police can use local intelligence to check that the ~~inmates~~ great British citizenry are complying.
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Complete the following sentence: 16 September 2020; Changes to the criminal justice system in England and Wales are heralded by the BBC with the above headline. Which immediately begs the question, what jail term do flippant criminals have to serve?
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Disney Minus: 6 September 2020; Reviews of Disney's live action remake of Mulan have been generally mixed to favourable. I like the story, and I was looking forward to this release. But…hnnng, I can't.
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Sponger sponging: 26 August 2020; The UK government's scheme to get more people eating in restaurants during August has not been an unqualified success. Some hospitaliers have complained about abuse towards staff; that the influx of custom is focussed between Monday and Wednesday, when the scheme is in effect, leaving the weekends quiet; and that support would have made more impact during the off-season period, when it's more needed.
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Taking a fall: 8 August 2020; I'd not heard of Jerry Falwell Jr., the president of Liberty University, a US evangelical Christian college, until he stepped down from his position following an unfortunate social media faux pas. His misdemeanour seems pretty innocent, at least to me, but the righteously indignant took to social media nevertheless.
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Pas de chokehold, pas de mort: 16 July 2020; Whereas, in the US the public protests when police are accused of racially-motivated excessive use of force, in France it's the police who take to the streets.
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The elixir of youth. Or not?: 19 March 2019; Kazakh president Nursultan Nazarbayev has resigned at the insanely young age of only 78. He has been the sole president of the oil- and mineral-rich nation since its independence from the Soviet Union in 1990.
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President Pooh: 4 February 2019; Winnie the Pooh is one of my youngest daughter's favourite characters, so I don't know she would take it knowing that his name is censored on Chinese search engines and social media. Apparently, naughty people have been likening Christopher Robin's silly old bear to Chinese ~~dictator~~ President Xi Jinping, which is quite ridiculous since they look nothing like each other.
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The unruly minority: 11 September 2018; Unauthorised gypsy and traveller camps are a disruptive, and expensive, societal problem in the UK. And the government is being urged to make deliberate trespass a criminal offence.
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Air Force FUN!: 28 February 2018; Hotel magnate and US President, Donald Orange Don Trump, has renegotiated a deal with Boeing to supply two new presidential Air Force Ones. Huh? (confused)
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Same old, same old: 15 February 2018; Another day, another mass murder at a US school, when a 19-year-old armed with an assault rifle killed at least seventeen people at a high school in Parkland, Florida. School shootings in the US have become so common-place that they hardly make anything other than local news. But Florida's Senator, Marco Rubio, stated that it was too soon to jump to conclusions that there was some law that we could have passed that would have prevented it, while the state's Governor, Rick Scott, also refused to discuss gun control.
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Bonkers, but not in a benign way: 10 August 2017; North Korea has escalated its sabre rattling, and now threatens a rocket strike on the US territory of Guam.
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Trump vs Trudeau: 16 January 2017; The BBC has run a fluff piece on five areas where Canada's prime minister Justin Trudeau and US President-elect Donald Trump have common ground.
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Minorities, West Country style: 24 April 2014; Yes, it's a proud day for the Cornish as they're officially recognised as a minority. Presumably this means they'll officially be allowed to complain of discrimination.
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The not-so-diplomatic bag: 7 February 2014; Victoria Nuland, the US assistant secretary of state, was embarrassed to find her comments on the EU's role in the current Ukraine crisis broadcast on the internet. In an arrogant and underhand conversation with the US ambassador to Ukraine, Ms Nuland reveals her true feelings on the issue: Fuck the EU.
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A Mormon moment (not really): 16 November 2012; During the 2012 US presidential election, much* was made of Mitt Romney's Mormon faith, and how it was seen as a negative trait for his candidature. But it's useful to reflect on the fact that not all Mormons are the same, and their faith doesn't dictate an identical world view.
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Good caption: 9 November 2012; In an otherwise boring article about Conservative MP Nadine Dorries' unscheduled sojourn to the Australian jungle, this caption struck me as pretty sage advice.
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Hubris: how gay!: 9 November 2012; In a perhaps unguarded moment during a light-hearted radio interview, New Zealand's prime minister John Key referred to a presenter wearing a gay red top. This outraged some who construed it as a slur against the homosexual community. Key later defended himself, stating that he used the word gay to mean weird rather than as a deliberate offence; the Oxford English Dictionary notes its use in this manner to mean foolish, stupid, or unimpressive.
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Obama re-elected. Twice.: 7 November 2012; According to the BBC, Obama has been re-elected, and in addition he's been re-elected as US president. I'm not sure what the first election was for, but I'm sure he's very happy nonetheless.
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Tits oot fer the lads! A political protest by the PHWOAR! Party: 24 October 2012; Femen, a Ukrainian radical feminist movement, is fighting against patriarchy, in its three manifestations: sexual exploitation of women, dictatorship and religion. They accomplish this by radically protesting while topless, which has got to hurt during the Ukrainian winter.
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Fiction becomes reality?: 18 September 2012; There's something about Mitt Romney, Republican nominee to challenge Barack Obama, that reminds me of Greg Stillson, The Dead Zone's batshit-crazy US president. Creepy, and scary.
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Tits oot fer the lads! Or 'hubris, thy name art Royal scandal': 18 September 2012; After some innocent holiday snaps taken of a picturesque French chateau were shown to include views of Kate's knockers, they were offered for sale to the British press.* According to the BBC:
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Bemorecreativegate: 4 September 2012; Ever since the Watergate scandal, lazy journalists and politicians have referred to controversies as whatevergate. The Iran-Contra affair was Irangate, there's been more than one memogate, while the UK had both hackgate and murdochgate for one affair, and France had Twittergate. And there are many, many others.
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Honour and offer: 29 August 2012; The Great British Members of Parliament are whinging again. This time it's that too many honours go to the elite few—businessmen, politicians, and celebrities—for just doing the day job.
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Burgers or babies?: 25 June 2012; Experts at Nuffield Health state that more than half of British women have waists that are larger than the recommended healthy size.
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Do as we say, not as we do!: 12 March 2012; There is a programme on Henan Legal Channel—one of the Chinese state-run TV channels—entitled Interviews Before Execution, in which Ding Yu interviews prisoners before they're executed. Contrary to being exploitative, the programme makers claim to find cases that will serve as a warning to others. Indeed, the programme calls for human nature to awaken and perceive the value of life.
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Wot you lookin' at?: 27 January 2012; Those sons of fun at the USAsian FBI plan to develop—or, rather, have developed for them—a handy-dandy tool that will sniff its way through social networks and suck up all the terrorist plots. Certain keywords that are only used by bad people plotting naughtiness can be added. These will trigger the hairs on the backs of their necks, and bring their righteous wrath down on the sorry arses of Osama and his like-minded friends.
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Glad I'm a freeloader: 17 January 2012; The English version of Wikipedia/Wikipaedia/Wikipædia will be offline for 24 hours as Jimmy Wales and like-minded friends protest anti-piracy legislation in merka. This is after he stated that he wouldn't use Wikipædia for political purposes. All of which makes me glad that I didn't give the little shitstain any money after all.
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Kim Jong-il: 'im gone-il: 19 December 2011; Merry Christmas everyone, the funniest part of Team America: World Police has finally done the decent thing!
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Gone with the wind: 4 February 2011; Heinz's bullish predictions for boosting baked bean sales in Africa took a turn for the worse when Malawi's justice minister interpreted environmental fouling legislation as criminalising farting. That's right kids, cracking one off in public could become a misdemeanour in Malawi.
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Not so anonymous: 27 January 2011; Ahh, yes, Anonymous, that eclectic band of ~~spineless ne'er-do-wells~~ selfless heroes righting wrongs on t'internet.
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Poor Kate (sad): 10 January 2011; Those heartless commie bastards at ASLEF, the railway workers' union, are threatening to call a tube strike on the day of the Royal wedding. It seems that poor Kate will have to make alternative arrangements to get to the church.
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Herstory: 29 October 2010; I can't recall how I came across herstory, but it made me laugh anyway. As a politically correct term for history viewed through a feminist lens, or a demasculinisation of history, it's nonsensical. It seems to be predicated on the notion that history is somehow innately masculine—because it's got his in it, innit?
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Oo-er Matron!: 6 July 2010; One of Kensington and Chelsea Council's hospitals hired out a closed, but fully-functioning, ward to a porn company, presumably one looking for authenticity in its art. The council's director at the time, and now Conservative MP, Penny Mordaunt responded:
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Plant a tree, save a child: 15 June 2010; Okay, not quite, but I liked this story nonetheless.
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Ungrateful little arsewipe!: 4 June 2010; Following the shootings in Cumbria, the United Kindom's very own, finely-coiffured prime minister has visited the area to ~~get his face in the news and pretend he cares~~ show solidarity with the local populace. But some tosser has the temerity to complain to the BBC's reporter: One man told me he was angry that it has taken a shooting for the prime minister to visit the town.
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The irony is almost touching!: 6 May 2010; A KKK leader has shot dead a recruit named Lynch.
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Financial crisis? What financial crisis?: 30 April 2010; Apparently, senior staff at the US Securities and Exchange Commission have been taking some downtime from the financial crisis with a little pr0n-fuelled R'n'R.
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The Queens' Regiment: 19 March 2010; Gen. Bonkers (retd) claims that Dutch leaders had told him that Srebrenica fell due to openly gay soldiers in the defending Dutch army. So far, so mundane, but this quote from the BBC puzzled me:
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OMG, there's more of them out there, just waiting...waiting...: 16 March 2010; Just when you thought that the interwebz were awash enough with dumb yanks, it turns out that a third of the poor souls don't have broadband at home. But they shall not weep, for the US government shall provide. Although perhaps this is over-egging the pudding a tad:
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You tell 'em Nige!: 25 February 2010; Nigel Farage, MEP for the United Kingdom Independence Party, has launched a tirade against the grey mouse, Herman Van Rompuy, the President of the European Council. Go get 'em tiger!
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I'd like a 'P' please, Bob: 20 April 2005; Strangely, I was looking for ways to make yummy processed peas, like tinned marrowfat peas, because we can't get them easily in Switzerland. During my research, I happened across guidance from the Food and Agriculture Organisation and World Health Organisation on processed pea standards. I kid you not.
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