I think I've pissed myself

I never ratted on no one before!

There are 55 posts tagged: snowflake

Friends ununited
9 February 2024

A little controversy has arisen over a Super Bowl ad for Uber Eats, the premise of which is that people forget things.

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Tubby love
3 January 2024

Sam Smith is back on the scene and looking for lurve.

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Delicate sensibilities of trivial celebrities
11 October 2023

Through nothing other than abject boredom, I started reading Laura Martin's The difficulties facing Hollywood super-producer Ryan Murphy’s TV empire on BBC Culture. At almost 2000 words, it's quite long for what it is. And it's not as interesting as I first thought, especially since I've seen none of Murphy's work. Consequently, I didn't finish reading it; but I did get far enough in to learn that black transgender actress Angelica Ross had a hissy fit on set over a crew member who was operating the vehicle she had to drive on camera wearing a racist T-shirt every day.

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Will the real Slim Shady please grow up?
29 August 2023

It's a time-honoured tradition in US politics, whereby Republican campaigners use popular music to show that they're down wit' da kidz, and musicians order them to not use their performance for political gain. It's petty, but a recording is a recording, and recordings are covered by copyright restrictions on public performance, so fair enough.

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Emojional unintelligence (clown)
2 June 2023

A coalition of Germany’s regional broadcasters has released a list of extreme right wing emojis, use of which on social media can be used to identify you as a fascist pig. These include a student raising their hand, as a nazi salute; an okay symbol alongside a glass of milk, for white supremacy; a clown face, as comment on non-extreme right-wing politics; and a red cross, in place of a swastika. I shit you not: (cross) = (swastika)(whatever)

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All aboard the Snowflake Express
16 May 2023

Most on-board train announcements can best be described as unexciting—the next station stop is…, change here for…, etc.—to the point that they become intrusive and annoying. But passengers aboard the ÖBB service from Bregenz to Vienna were recently treated to a little pep talk from one of Austria's more (in)famous scions: that nice Herr Hitler. Two clips of speeches were played; short, but enough to cram in a crowd chanting Heil Hitler and Sieg Heil.

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No nudes is good news
31 March 2023

An Australian ocean swimmer has resigned from her surf club, after receiving notice that she'd breached their no nudity policy when changing out of her swimming costume…in the changing room. Club members are directed to shower in their swimming costume, and change under a towel; at that point, one might as well just go to the beach and save the membership/entrance fee. Surf Life Saving New South Wales' CEO sought to avert mockery:

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0s and 1s
30 March 2023

I don't know why this qualifies for BBC Worklife per se, other than zoomers have to work like the rest of us, I guess; but Jessica Klein seeks to educate us as to How young people are shaking off gender binaries. The relevance of zoomers to work life, I can understand; their gender binarism is another matter entirely. Unless these attitudes are having an impact on the provision of toilet facilities in the workplace. (confused)

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No shits for Springtime (poop)
21 March 2023

You can't keep a good journalist hack urinalist down, and once again Marianna Spring has sprung into mithering over trolls on Twitter. Oh, and pimping her gossamer-thin investigation, instigated by personal butthurt and treated derisively by the space cadet:

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Springtime for Hateler
6 March 2023

Marianna Spring is the BBC's disinformation and social media correspondent. Her role is to seek out problems on teh soshull meejah and whinge about them. This time, it's about hurt fee-fees on Twitter, particularly hers. First World problems, huh? (snowflake)

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Tax-free travellin'
5 March 2023

Ireland's gyppos—sorry, Travellers—want their history and culture to be taught as part of the curriculum in Irish schools.

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Spared
5 March 2023

In yet another interview—sorry, online conversation—Prince Harry says he always felt different to the rest of his family.

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Dahling
20 February 2023

The late Roald Dahl's publisher, Puffin, hired sensitivity readers to flap‑flap‑flap, and rewrite his works for a modern audience; presumably one of emotionally-fragile adults. And, thus, tiny minds at Inclusive Minds have gone through his collected works, excluding the unwords and wrongthink that triggered their butthurt detectors.

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Plastica fantastica!
10 February 2023

When Madonna appeared at this year's Grammy Awards looking every bit like the love child of Mickey Rourke and Jocelyn Wildenstein, the internetz were abuzz. Some commented that she should grow old gracefully, as if she'd give a damn for what anyone else thinks. The freakish visage wasn't her real face though, it was the result of the patriarchy photographing her through a beer glass.*

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Sore loser
25 January 2023

Chinonye Chukwu, who wrote and directed Till, which garnered no nominations for this year's Oscars, showed magnanimity in rejection…by accusing Hollywoke of upholding whiteness and perpetuating an unabashed misogyny towards Black women. This is despite AMPAS doubling its female and ethnic minority members in 2020, as well as mandating arbitrary diversity criteria for nominations in the best picture category.

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Journalism 404
7 January 2023

For those unfamiliar with the matter, Kotaku is a garbage-tier gaming site that employs urinalists in place of journalists. From what I can determine, the webzine isn't taken seriously among gamers—who are presumably its target audience—for several reasons, not limited to the quality of the writing, or lack thereof, and staffers' apparent obsession with politics over gaming.

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Boo-hoos and hurt fee-fees
15 December 2022

Prince Harry has claimed it was terrifying to have my brother scream and shout at me over the Sussex's departure from royal life.

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A tale of two rocket men
10 December 2022

Sir Elton John has rage-quit flap-quit Twitter, over changes in misinformation policy under Elon Musk's ownership:

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What happened to the spirit of punk?
9 December 2022

After the dinky butthurts criticised their choice of name, British punk band Slaves bent down, grabbed their ankles, and changed it to Soft Play. Very punk. Not.

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Too butch for Jim
2 December 2022

Sometimes Hollyweirdos would be better off not making their personal thoughts, such as they are, public. The latest to come across as completely batshit is director James Cameron. While peddling his new opus, Avatar: The Way of Water to The Hollywood Reporter's Rebecca Keegan, he shared his thoughts on testosterone, of all things.

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Triggered
25 August 2022

There was a time when a TV or film production that contained graphic or upsetting scenes would be accompanied by an advisory content warning to that effect, so as to suitably prepare the unwary. And there's absolutely nothing wrong in that. Now, however, they're accompanied by trigger warnings.

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Oh no, poor lamb
22 August 2022

In How workplace bullying went remote, Joanna York examines workplace bullying in the remote-work era on behalf of BBC Worklife (Hello Hybrid subdivision). But is she really discussing bullying, or simply hurt fee-fees, when she refers to unkind behaviour?

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Sadosacks
19 August 2022

The Edinburgh Fringe has for decades been a bastion of cutting-edge, often raw comedy. This is where comedians go to try out their wildest, newest material, and where grown-ups go to be shocked as well as entertained. Snowflakes should look elsewhere.

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Half dutch
16 August 2022

This cropped up as a most read lead on BBC News online. What at first appeared to be a compelling national statement on social media abstinence, however, turns out to be a very much more mundane tale of a minor celebrity stepping away from InstaTweet. What a let-down! (thumbdown)

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Nlightenment
21 June 2022

I guess it's all a matter of perspective.

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Tweet in space
26 April 2022

After a period of broad speculation, Elon Musk will buy Twitter for a cool $44bn. The announcement has some of the Twitterati weeping into their soy lattes, if not actually soiling themselves.

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Stoner
11 January 2022

Protesters on the French overseas territory of St Pierre and Miquelon have attacked their MP, by pelting him with seaweed. Stéphane Claireaux took his ordeal stoically.

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Traumedy
6 January 2022

Laughter is the best medicine, or so we're told. And a prescribed comedy course could be a new way to help people recover from trauma. The sessions will be free for participants, although presumably not for the UK taxpayer; they get their joy from their tax bill.

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Terrable
25 November 2021

Terra Field, one of Netflix's employee activists who took umbrage at Dave Chapelle's The Closer, has resigned from the company. We know this, because she quietly announced it to Twitter, along with her resignation letter.

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Saving lives: one fat, brown, gay kiss at a time
27 October 2021

According to hyperbolic tosspots at the premiere of Eternals, the representation of fat, non-white, and gay superheroes is affirming and will save lives.

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The Closer
20 October 2021

Today's the day for which Netflix employees, supported by bargain-basement celebrities who I've never heard of, had threatened a walkout in protest against Dave Chappelle's special, The Closer. I had intended to watch it earlier, but postponed it until today to mark this non-event.

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Too damned precious!
20 October 2021

Baldwin Cottage is a residence for women and transgendered persons attending Oberlin College and Conservatory, Ohio. The college recently upgraded the heating system in the residence, by installing new radiators. This triggered one of the resident twinks, Peter Fray-Witzer, because the work was conducted by real, biologically-relevant men. The sort of people who install and maintain heating systems.

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Funny, not funny
16 October 2021

Outrage has erupted over Dave Chappelle's latest Netflix special, The Closer, as he took aim at the alphabet soupers—particularly the T—and the preferred pronoun poseurs. Verily, the dudgeon, it was high; and the salt, it flowed freely and in abundance. You cannot make fun of the trans, it seems.

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The revolution will be televised...
28 September 2021

…for shitz 'n' gigglz.

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Bombs or blacklisting
30 August 2021

As someone who doesn't read comics, even I'm aware of Frank Miller. If only through his works that made it to the silver screen: 300; Sin City, and it's sequel, Sin City: A Dame To Kill For; and The Spirit. Although the less said about the last one, the better.

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The other F-bomb
2 August 2021

Matt Damon will no longer refer to homosexuals as faggots,* so as not to upset his daughter. He'll still gaily gather sticks into faggots of firewood though…until she finds something wrong with that too.

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Overreacting much?
15 July 2021

Apparently, whities are appropriating black TikTok performers' dance moves without giving the original creators credit. That's pretty bad behaviour; after all, credit where credit's due. But, there's always one poor lamb who either has to fall back on hyperbole, or simply doesn't understand the true meaning of the words that they're using.

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Moaning Muslim
11 June 2021

British actor Riz Ahmed wants an end to toxic Muslim characters…on screen.

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Poor little rich girl
1 June 2021

After refusing to take part in post-match news conferences, Naomi Osaka has withdrawn from the French Open, citing mental health concerns. Other sports personalities have come out in support, but some have also reminded her, and us, that news conferences are part of the gig. Indeed, participation is written into the Grand Slam rulebook, which Osaka effectively signed up to. The media rights pay for the tournaments' pay days, which benefit all participants, not just those who're privileged with massive sponsorship deals.

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The transsporting life
3 May 2021

In the same interview in which he announced his surgical diminution, Elliot Page objected to bans on transgender girls playing in girls' sports. (snowflake)

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Titless
3 May 2021

Those of us who scoffed at Elliot Page's commitment to joining the patriarchy, are laughing on the other side of our faces now. He's only gone and had a titectomy! Although, in true Page style, it's accompanied by a public announcement, in an interview with Oprah Winfrey. I'm assuming that Apple TV+ counts as public.

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Able was I
6 April 2021

Sara Nović, writing on behalf of BBC Equality Matters, admonishes you on The harmful ableist language you unknowingly use. You heartless bastard! (mad)

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Tree Story
23 March 2021

We are reminded, or informed, for those of us who were blissfully unaware until now, that Keiynan Lonsdale—an actor best known as someone that I'd never heard of before—self-identifies as a tree…FFS, even my sense of humour isn't so perverse as to make this shit up! Lonsdale unironically prefers tree/treeself pronouns, rather than he/him. And the male population breathes a hearty sigh of relief.

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Rock star
8 March 2021

According to Leox Gyasi's entry in the Star Wars Databank: romantic and sexual encounters are not imperative to him, as he identifies as asexual. Nice and non-threatening then; so, not that IC1 male after all. I wonder whether he has any knackers, or if they were removed when he stepped through LucasFilm's hallowed portal?

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Rock bottom
8 March 2021

I thought that the first of April had come early this year, as Star Wars: The High Republic introduced its main characters in an amateur-hour animation. Leox Gyasi—who looks suspiciously IC1 male to be completely on message at LucasFilm—is the eccentric pilot of a vessel, known simply as the Vessel…navigated by Geode, who appears to be a rock. The rising you gotta be shittin' me! tone in the narrator's voice sounded like she didn't quite believe what she was reading. I'll give her kudos for not laughing though.

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The name game
15 January 2021

Mithering on behalf of BBC Worklife, Zulekha Nathoo explains Why getting a name right matters. If you can't be bothered to read the whole article, you're not alone. It's just another whinge about mispronunciation of names, and how it's your fault if you struggle with someone's name.

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Gone(ish), but not forgotten
9 December 2020

Deadnaming is the practice of referring to a transgender person by the name that they used before they transitioned, even if that's only a trans-lite conversion. So Elliot Page's deadname is Ellen. Using the deadname is considered bad etiquette among the coddled minorities, as is using the wrong pronouns. And the queers on social media, who have nothing constructive to do with their lives, take it very seriously. (snowflake)

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Take it! Like a man!
2 December 2020

Kneon (Thom Pratt) at Clownfish TV covered the Ellen/Elliot Page non-story, and received some comments that are predictably similar to my own thoughts. My favourites are copied below, simply for convenience…and some additional commentary.

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Just a regular guy
2 December 2020

In what appears to be a desperate attempt to stay relevant in the public consciousness, Ellen Page has come out. Again. Strewth, is she ever in for more than five minutes?

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The complexity of superheroism
30 July 2020

Way back in the mists of time, we considered the philosophy and psychology of superheroes and superheroism.

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Fear the frost
24 June 2020

Being the wrong side of 50, I am somewhat behind the curve, not that I was ever ahead of it at the best of times. I'm aware of woke, snowflakes, pandering, and SJW, but only today did I discover that Marvel plan to reboot their superhero team, New Warriors, with their first non-binary character.* This character is also black and wears blue. His/her/its/their name? None other than…ummm…Snowflake.

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Fringe syndrome
19 August 2019

The results are in, and Tim Vine hasn't won the Dave award for best joke at the Edinburgh Fringe. In fact, he didn't make the top ten shortlist. Was he even there?

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At least they bend their gender
2 March 2019

Former women's swimming Olympic silver medallist, Sharron Davies, has come out; in support, that is, of Martina Navratilova's position that transgender athletes are cheating. Needless to say, the snowflakes are all a'dither, whining that:

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No skool like the old skool
27 March 2017

Parent and journalist Laura June complains that leaving her three-year old daughter with the iPad and unsupervised internet access results in the toddler watching inappropriate content, including frightening derivatives of her favourite cartoon characters. Incensed that these parodies/knock-offs/call-them-what-you-will could offend or frighten her daughter, June does the only logical thing, take away the iPad and parent her daughter properly complain to YouTube, and whinge to the world in general.

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Hubris: how gay!
9 November 2012

In a perhaps unguarded moment during a light-hearted radio interview, New Zealand's prime minister John Key referred to a presenter wearing a gay red top. This outraged some who construed it as a slur against the homosexual community. Key later defended himself, stating that he used the word gay to mean weird rather than as a deliberate offence; the Oxford English Dictionary notes its use in this manner to mean foolish, stupid, or unimpressive.

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