Bitches bitch'n'

It's jus' there's some bad people out there

There are 145 posts tagged: "random thoughts & brain farts"

CS:CH
11 January 2022
One of the appliances in my pied-à-terre has gone on the blink. After almost a week, the service company has deigned to send an engineer to look at it tomorrow. FWP, eh? (more…)
The (international) shipping forecast
11 January 2022
It never ceases to amaze me: the parochiality of merkans when it comes to international shipping charges. I guess that it doesn't matter if it's outside the fifty states of the union. (more…)
I'm No. 1
5 January 2022
For the first time in 90 years, General Motors is not the highest-selling car manufacturer in the US, the number one place in 2021 being taken by Toyota. Toyota were humble in victory, while GM were bullish in defeat. (more…)
Proof of god?
4 January 2022
DrNG offers me New Year Greetings! & New Insights., which is very kind of him. Not only that, but he thanks me for being immune, which suggests that he knows more about my health status than I do. Perhaps that's the insight he refers to? I'm not sure how creepy that is, to be honest. (more…)
Tarty tatts
1 January 2022
I have been toying with getting a tattoo for ages. (more…)
Pandemic posting
31 December 2021
The pandemic lockdowns have resulted in increased levels of shit on the interwebz. This is not least in part due to the fact that I have been posting more. Much more. But only in terms of quantity, not quality. Fortunately, no one reads this garbage, so no innocent brain cells have been harmed in the course of this fiasco. (more…)
The good husband
29 December 2021
This morning, herself and I were in bed. I was laying down; she was sitting up, drinking tea. (more…)
Sky vs. Sony: who hates me most?
22 December 2021
I received a loyalty bonus: a one-month—as opposed to the standard one-week—free trial for Sky Show in Switzerland. Yay! (more…)
Superstitious rail
18 December 2021
Basel Hauptbahnhof doesn’t have a platform 13. Zürich Hauptbahnhof, however, does; and it's not just for show. It's fully-functioning, and I've boarded trains there. To Basel, ironically enough. (more…)
Live. Die. Repeat. Or not.
16 December 2021
It's a sad story. So I feel bad that my first thought, when spotting the link on the BBC homepage, was puzzlement as to how one Indian housewife repeatedly kills herself. (more…)
Girl boss?
13 December 2021
My daughters went to see House of Gucci today. (more…)
Sound advice
9 December 2021
This is doing the rounds at the moment: (more…)
'Pop' music
8 December 2021
I have a Nespresso coffee machine. It takes little aluminium capsules that are pierced on one side as the receptacle is closed. As hot water is forced into the capsule, and then breaks through the foil on the other side, it makes a little pop. (more…)
MegaCorpCH no more
7 December 2021
Earlier this year, MegaCorpCH was sold. I can't remember the exact timeline, since it's lost in the mists of corporate lethargy, but sometime in the summer a crack group of highly-paid corporate nonentities announced that they'd decided on a new company name. It's a very clever name, derived from the Latin or Greek for something-or-other, and symbolising whatever-the-hell. Unfortunately, it's not particularly memorable or inspiring. But, at least it's home. (more…)
Helpful photo
6 December 2021
Herself and I were tag-teaming on the train today; she was set to arrive ten minutes after I departed. So, I left the car at the station. Unfortunately, the ticket machine was out of order, and I couldn't buy a ticket. (more…)
Klaus
6 December 2021
I watched Klaus last night with my eldest daughter. We both loved it. (more…)
By these four steps
6 December 2021
Don't you just hate supermarket carparks that are entered close to the store's doors, and then filter to the furthest part? Nobody seems to want to just be sensible, and move on to the areas where there are plenty of available spaces, because that would involve walking. No, they have to dither as close to the store as possible, holding up everyone else as they do so. (angry) (more…)
Ready for anything
4 December 2021
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Ghouls jus' wanna have fun
24 November 2021
Years ago, I saw a TV programme, hosted by Bill Oddie, on the interpretation of dreams. Apparently, dreaming of being naked in public has a specific meaning. I can't remember what it is, but Oddie was reenacting for the camera. Fortunately, he retained his underear. Nevertheless, the very thought of him naked scared me off having that dream for years. (more…)
Fighter talk
11 November 2021
YouTube channel Military TV posted a completely pointless and contentious list, of The 10 Deadliest Planes of WWII. They confuse things somewhat, by adding WW 2 Fighter Planes to the end of the video's title, but we'll come back to that later. (more…)
Pride!
11 November 2021
No, not a hollow virtue signal over some physiological or psychological roll of the dice, an act of nature beyond control. This is about a real, genuine personal achievement; something that took hard work and dedication, not happenstance and grandstanding. (more…)
Bond theme songs
3 November 2021
Over the past couple of weeks, I haven't been able to get You Only Live Twice and Diamonds Are Forever out of my head. They seem to be stuck on repeat play. And that's not such a bad thing, I quite like them. (more…)
Bemmoth
1 November 2021
Another of those I know how it is moments. (more…)
Batty
1 November 2021
The pekapeka, or long-tailed bat (Chalinolobus tuberculatus (North Island)), has won the title of New Zealand's bird of the year. The victory has upset some people, who unironically took to Twitter—hohoho!—to complain. Nevertheless, the organisers of the poll, Forest & Bird, remain unrepentant. (more…)
Tess Holliday's morning workout routine
31 October 2021
Gotta keep training! (more…)
Flagging
29 October 2021
According to Tim Marshall, author of Worth Dying for: The Power and Politics of Flags, the American flag is reversed on military uniforms so that it always faces forward. (more…)
Guardians of the future
28 October 2021
At IMDb, they love themselves a little future-gazing. Here we are, in current year 2021, and they're asking what was—past tense—the title of 2023's Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 in Hindi. I'll submit my answer to the question in two years' time. (more…)
D1 R6 D1 S6
26 October 2021
In an otherwise dull and TLDR article, on the discovery of a planet candidate outside our own galaxy, one thing struck me. The name of one of the researchers, Dr Rosanne Di Stefano, is remarkable for its periodicity: D1 R6 D1 S6. (more…)
Laundered
22 October 2021
Much has been made of the relative attention paid to the disappearance and murder of Gabby Petito, compared to that for black women. The BBC has to mention it every time they report the story—except this time, naturally!—like some tic or idée fixe. (more…)
Must. Go. To. Bed.
22 October 2021
I misread the sign as direct-to-cucumber. WTF? (SMH) (more…)
Symbolic stupidity
16 October 2021
Perhaps it's a slow news day. Or perhaps someone, somewhere feels the need to tap into the zeitgeist. Thames Valley Police have reassured motorists that diversionary road signs at Junction 5 on the M4 will not take them to Squid Game. (rolleyes) (more…)
Beebbait
13 October 2021
I've long noticed headlines on the BBC's homepage being couched as questions, rather than statements. They try to engender interest in fluff pieces that cover evidently uninteresting subjects, or ones that (can) reach no definitive conclusion. (more…)
"Time just gets away from us"
12 October 2021
Every so often, you come across something that reminds you of the passing of time and old friends…and of your own mortality. Like this comment on the ending of the Coen brothers' True Grit. (more…)
Change monkey: change for the sake of it
12 October 2021
I hadn't realised that Apple have released a new version of iOS. So, when my 'phone announced a new update was available, I absent-mindedly installed it. Oh, bugger! (more…)
B-movie
6 October 2021
In other non-news, Jerry Seinfeld has apologised for a certain uncomfortable subtle sexual aspect in Dreamworks' Bee Movie. This just goes to show how out-of-touch and tone-deaf he is. (more…)
Melting ice
6 October 2021
Disney has come under fire for promoting the upcoming Ice Age: Adventures of Buck Wild on Disney+, only six months after closing Blue Sky Studios, its subsidiary that created Ice Age and its four sequels. Disney took control of the studio when it acquired 21st Century Fox in 2019. To put this into context, the last instalment to the declining franchise was released half a decade ago, and its better days are even longer gone. (more…)
Catwahmxn
5 October 2021
Zoë Kravitz will play the role of Catwoman in Warner Bros' upcoming The Batman, against Robert Pattinson as the titular character. Asked whether she'd seen all the other Batman films, Kravitz had this to say: (more…)
Keeping it in the family
29 September 2021
Certain enclaves within Switzerland have traditionally kept it in the family, so to speak. Historically, this was because communities were isolated, by difficult terrain for example. But even our village, which isn't hard to get to, has several headstones in its graveyard dedicated to an entombed Kistler-Kistler. Kistler is the predominant family in the village; there's a lot of them. (more…)
Representation, arse
20 September 2021
Apropos of nothing in particular, just getting this down, really. (more…)
Racist sweatpants
15 September 2021
In support of my earlier observation, that people don't know the meaning of racist, comes a report of a fashion house facing criticism because a $1,190 (£860) pair of sweatpants it sells rips off black culture. (more…)
Pegged out
14 September 2021
Model Cara Delevingne took a similar red-slogan-on-white-outfit approach, with a bullet-proof vest designed by Dior's Maria Grazia Chiuri displaying the words peg the patriarchy. (more…)
99%
13 September 2021
The residents of one of the flats in my block have a banner hanging from their balcony, declaring We Are The 99%. But it doesn't state what it is that they're the 99% of. (more…)
Abnormal piercing
26 August 2021
The ad offers Jewellery & Piercings Online. But how do you get pierced online? (thinking) (more…)
If you manage the micros, the macros will manage themselves
24 August 2021
When I first spoke with my current line manager, after he joined the company, he assured me that he's not a micromanager. If that's true, then he certainly demonstrates micromanaging tendencies. Is there anyone more pathetic and less awe-inspiring than a man, or woman, with a tracking spreadsheet? (more…)
Comics for dummies
24 August 2021
Richard Meyer is an independent comic book writer, or artist, or both. Something like that. He has a YouTube channel in which he talks about comics. I don't know why YouTube throws this shit up at me, but it does. (more…)
Tinfoil communications
22 August 2021
Writing for BBC Worklife, Mark Johanson asks whether your work messages are as private as you think. This seems like a strange question to ask, to be honest. (more…)
Days of future passed
20 August 2021
On behalf of BBC Future, Chris Baraniak examines how future generations may study us. Just as past and current historians have relied on the written records of previous generations, future historians may judge us through social media posts, algorithms, and conspiracy theories. (more…)
Sketchy
19 August 2021
As R&B singer R. Kelly goes on trial in New York, accused of racketeering, sexual abuse, and bribery, this sketch is released from the courtroom: (more…)
To chirp, or not to Chirp
17 August 2021
A recent interface redesign has left Twitter users complaining of headaches and discomfort. The illegibility of a newly-designed typeface, Chirp, hasn't helped those with impaired vision. (more…)
IncIS
13 August 2021
After a mass shooting in Plymouth in which five people were killed by a man who described himself as being beaten down and defeated by life, the UK general population has been introduced to an emerging subclass of society, the incel. (more…)
Ouch!
12 August 2021
Reporting for BBC Ouch, Drew Miller Hyndman relates the story of Sweet Anita, a Twitch gamer with Tourette's syndrome. Anita has coprolalia, which makes sufferers involuntarily say offensive things, like swearing. Twitch has been very understanding, which means that Anita is the only white person on the platform who can say nigger without getting their sorry arse roasted and banned to hell. (more…)
Nun the wiser
12 August 2021
It's just occurred to me that Merkans can spell prey, but not grey. (more…)
Verbing
6 August 2021
I was musing on people turning non-verbs into verbs. (more…)
Iron Giant is bestester
6 August 2021
Internet dweebs have mocked the BBC, after a tweet by BBC Sport from the Tokyo Olympics confused a Gundam statue with a Transformer. (more…)
Space cock
5 August 2021
Blue Origin plans to take tourists into space aboard rocket-powered dildos. (more…)
A test of oldness
5 August 2021
If someone asks you for your age when you're young, you respond immediately, almost without thinking. (more…)
Yours competently
4 August 2021
In The coded language that holds women back at work, Christine Ro explores words keeping women down, or something like that. It's a fairly typical fluff piece for BBC Equality Matters. One that I don't doubt was previously published elsewhere, and which I didn't find sufficiently interesting to finish reading. But I did skip-read this far: (more…)
Too many cooks
29 July 2021
According to Stéphane at French Cooking Academy, people are either bakers or cooks. This got me thinking. (more…)
McRon
24 July 2021
My eldest asked me why I don't eat McDonalds'. I told her that, other than it being shit, it's because I cannot abide Ronald McDonald. Which is true. (more…)
Pot luck
3 July 2021
When US sprinter Sha'Carri Richardson tested positive for cannabis, her qualifying result from the US Olympic trials was expunged, jeopardising her attendance at the Tokyo Olympics. (more…)
There, but for the letter 'h'
24 June 2021
A claim that a South African woman had given birth to ten babies has been shown to be false. The woman in question, Gosiame Sithole, is now being held for observation under the mental health act. (more…)
Straight talking
18 June 2021
Autonomous sensory meridian response, or ASMR. It's one of those nonsense terms that every time I come across it I have to look up the definition, because my brain cannot retain illogical words and phrases. Another one is gaslighting, a word that bears no relation to its current meaning. I hear it, don't undertand it, look it up, and then just as quickly forget it. As for jumping the shark, WTF? (more…)
Misheard lyrics
2 June 2021
I have absolutely no idea how this happened, or why I'm forced to suffer so, but earlier today I was thinking about England Dan and John Ford Coley's I'd Really Love To See You Tonight. I didn't like it back in the '70s when it was released, and my opinion hasn't mellowed much over the intervening years; even as age and fatherhood have turned me into a sentimental old fart. (more…)
Dodging a bullet?
8 January 2021
As Trump Republicans invade the Capitol, outgoing US President Donald Trump snubs the inauguration of President-Elect Biden, while also facing calls for a second impeachment and to be thrown out of office. And, thus, one of the most divisive US presidencies comes to an inglorious end. Not that it was too auspicious at the best of times. (more…)
Ribbing
4 January 2021
I can't recall why I was looking, but I was amused by this still from Supergirl (1984) anyway. (more…)
Coming out
4 December 2020
Finding strength from Elliot Page's brave lead, I'm ready to come out. I identify as a chicken. My name is Clucky, and my pronouns are bock/BAAWK. (more…)
Ghost in the machine
1 December 2020
Presh Talwalkar's Mind Your Decisions channel has only recently come to my random YouTube recommendations, so puzzles that prove that mathematicians believe in ghosts is now five years old. But puzzle 1 is annoying, because its solution is fundamentally wrong. (more…)
The mathematics of co-working
23 November 2020
In Most US College Students Cannot Solve This Basic Math Problem. The Working Together Riddle, Presh Talwalkar introduces us to a common co-worker problem. (more…)
I have a dream...that one day I'll be LinkedOut
1 September 2020
While I don't do social media, I do have an account with LinkedIn, although I'd rather not. Anyhow, I received an email from LinkedIn advising me of improvements to their mapping data, whatever the hell that means. (more…)
Just think of the children!
26 August 2020
Contentious, or just straight-out whacked children's names are nothing new. But, sometimes parents don't have to be trying too hard to potentially spoil their child's hopes of love, employment, and future happiness. (more…)
Bombs away!
3 August 2020
While perusing Wingnut Wings' Gotha G.1 photographic archive, I came across this image of a 50kg Carbonit bomb mounted below the wing. (more…)
Benign incompetence
3 August 2020
Is there a word for it? It's a trait exhibited by many people, not least myself, whereby despite your best effort, you still manage to do something so badly that you never get asked to do it again. I don't mean deliberately screwing things up to avoid future repeat requests, just benignly and without malice. (more…)
'Phone upgrade?
27 July 2020
I currently have an Apple iPhone. Fear not, gentle reader, for I don't consider that to be something to boast about—those days are long gone, if they ever really existed—I just state it as a matter of fact. I started out with a 5s, and had, at the time, the most powerful, up-to-date 'phone in my family; which, since our daughters were too young to have their own 'phones, meant compared to my wife, who had a 5c. (more…)
Lush life
23 July 2020
Walking down Freie Strasse in Basel, it's impossible to not notice the Lush shop, by smell, if nothing else. Pretty much like Lush shops everywhere, I suspect. (more…)
Random thought
23 July 2020
The COVID-19 pandemic has engendered vast commercial and academic research into its control. The financial and PR gains of finding the cure will be enormous, bordering on stratospheric:* (more…)
Masking the joy
15 July 2020
Part of the fun of thrill rides is the opportunity to let it all out. This doesn't look like fun to me. (more…)
And speaking of vacuous
14 June 2020
I received a sampler of a masculine fragrance called Fusion D'Issey by Issey Miyake. According to the packaging, it's The Scent Of Nature In Fusion. Enlightened? No? Then try this: (more…)
Coccyx and bawl story
27 March 2019
If you read the headline How lunch with a friend caused years of trauma, you might expect something out of the ordinary. It could be that the friend turned into a butter knife-wielding psychopath, or there at least be a story of chronic dysentery. (more…)
No common cents
8 February 2019
They weren't too bright, nineteenth century Bostonians. This menu from Frank's Dining Rooms, clearly divided into five and ten cent dishes, has the price next to each item, just to make sure they got it. Ouch! (more…)
The person who I feel most sorry for
9 October 2017
Hollywood mogul Harvey Weinstein is accused of multiple sexual assaults. It's a bit of a mess, really, isn't it? (more…)
People in glass houses
23 June 2017
I was returning from a business trip to Brussels—as if there was any other reason to go to Brussels, for it is a shithole—on a 3+3-configured flight the other day. The two seats next to me were empty, which is always nice. But the plane hadn't finished boarding, as two middle-aged women approached. One of them was short and petite, while the other…wasn't. (more…)
The Bear necessities
11 June 2017
Babe and alleged actress, Alicia Silverstone, explains that her decision to raise her son, Bear Blu, on a vegan diet was, like herself: such a no-brainer. (more…)
Policemen talking bollocks
30 May 2017
It's a strange thing, but when policemen talk to the press they use a special bollocks language. (more…)
Worst song ever?
12 May 2017
Rob Tannenbaum, writing for GQ, has declared Starship's We Built This City to be the worst song of all time. I'm not sure what objective criteria he used to arrive at this conclusion, but hey ho. (more…)
Trump vs. Trudeau
16 January 2017
The BBC has run a fluff piece on five areas where Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and US President-elect Donald Trump have common ground. (more…)
Nuclear doughnuts
4 October 2015
While on holiday in Portugal, my daughters have become accustomed, if not addicted, to Panrico Donuts [sic]. These things seem to have a shelf-life measured in millennia. And that's without refrigeration. God knows what's in them, but they must be packed to the gunnels with preservatives. (more…)
Dumb question
20 May 2015
BBC News rather pointedly asks: Why do US police keep killing unarmed black men? (more…)
Deadly cricketing injuries
30 November 2014
For anyone, including myself, who thought that cricket was possibly more tedious and less dangerous than watching paint dry, come two poignant events that dispel the myth. Only days after Australian batsman Philip Hughes died after being struck in the neck by a bouncer, Israeli umpire Hillel Oscar died after being struck in the neck by a freak ricochet from a batsman's shot. (more…)
How much porn is on the web?
2 July 2013
Mark Ward asks this very question on behalf of BBC News, although I'm not sure why. (more…)
That's nice
15 February 2013
I received this message from Amazon today: (more…)
The perils of weightlessness
6 November 2012
If your ideal weight is 70kg and you're 70kg overweight, you have a problem. (more…)
Is this really the world's ugliest building?
2 November 2012
The Ryugyong Hotel in the North Korean capital, Pyongyang, has had an unfortunate start in life. Construction of the 105 storey, 330 metre high building, the 47th tallest in the world, commenced in 1987 and it's still not finished. (more…)
Misleading advertising shock!
30 October 2012
The ad states intelligently funny tees, with a model wearing Leonardo da Vinci's Vitruvian Man playing a guitar. It's neither particularly intelligent nor funny, but at least it's a T-shirt. (more…)
Skeuomorphism
30 October 2012
I don't normally care much for the political machinations at the top of companies, most of it's too arcane and divorced from my life. But my heart leapt with joy to read of the imminent departure of Scott Forstall from the executive leadership at Apple. Admittedly, Forstall did some good things while at Apple, overseeing iOS. But he was apparently a bastard to work with, was at the helm during the disastrous introduction of Apple's own mapping software and Siri, and above all was largely responsible for the introduction of the skeuomorphic user interface in a number of iOS, and later OS X, applications. (more…)
Some people are never satisfied
30 October 2012
Baidu, China's largest search engine, has announced a 60% increase in net income for Q3/2012 compared to Q3/2011. Financial market analysts, however, seem to be oddly pessimistic: (more…)
Bemorecreativegate
4 September 2012
Ever since the Watergate scandal, lazy journalists and politicians have referred to controversies as whatevergate. The Iran-Contra affair was Irangate, there's been more than one memogate, while the UK had both hackgate and murdochgate for one affair, and France had Twittergate. And there are many, many others. (more…)
Should I become gay?*
17 August 2012
MegaCorpUSA, in an effort at inclusion, has set up a gay and lesbian and allies group, to spread awareness, if not interesting diseases. Apparently, the network exists for the positive advancement of gay and lesbian issues, and Their goal for this year is to establish themselves further…and increase the number of members. So I think they're asking people to become gay homosexual. (more…)
First irrevocable evidence for the Galactic Empire
15 March 2012
It wasn't fiction after all, but it may have happened in the past, not the future. Galactic Empire stormtroopers obviously had helmets designed for their odd skull shape. (more…)
Al Jolson gets Islamic
13 March 2012
<aljo>Climb up on my knee, Sunni muslim</aljo> (more…)
The Global Shopfront Library
7 March 2012
Through glorious happenstance I have inadvertently discovered The Global Shopfront Library. (more…)
The blind leading the blind
13 February 2012
Braille is apparently becoming more common, even on toilet doors to denote ladies and gents. This in itself is a huge step forward in reducing embarrassment for the blind needing a pee. (more…)
Glad I'm a freeloader
17 January 2012
The English version of Wikipedia/Wikipaedia/Wikipædia will be offline for 24 hours as Jimmy Wales and like-minded friends protest anti-piracy legislation in merka. This is after he stated that he wouldn't use Wikipædia for political purposes. All of which makes me glad that I didn't give the little shitstain any money after all. (more…)
Heil Kitler!
29 July 2011
Kitler is a ikkle wikkle puddy tat, who bears an unfortunate resemblance to the Führer, and is having difficulty finding a loving home as a consequence. I suspect that her chances would be improved if she stopped saluting! (more…)
Odd spam
9 June 2011
I received quite a strange spam invite entitled Exclusive Invite For New Social Nertwork for professionals. (more…)
OED LOL
8 April 2011
LOL has been added to the Oxford English Dictionary, along with OMG. Dear ol' auntie Beeb's report on this momentous occasion doesn't indicate whether OMFG, LULZ, and PIMP also made the cut. We can only hope. (more…)
It was never like that in my day
4 March 2011
…my college days, that is. (more…)
Death & taxes
28 January 2011
It's said that there are only two inevitables in life: death & taxes. (more…)
Very generous, but could you really spend it?
24 January 2011
Gail Davis of Orpington, Kent downloaded the 10 Billionth app from Apple's App Store, and as the winner of the App Store Countdown to 10 Billion Apps will receive a $10,000 iTunes® gift card. (more…)
Phnaar!
20 January 2011
Not having a TV that plays anything other than DVDs—i.e. we don't have broadcast televisual entertainment as you know it—I know nothing of these Inbetweeners chappies. I do know of Comic Relief though. It's the sort of thing that makes me happy not to have broadcast televisual entertainment, but I digress. (more…)
Buster Bloodvessel: 'im not gorn (I think)
10 November 2010
Through mindless surfing, I can't remember how it started, I came across this archive, the subtitle of which made me laugh: (more…)
Herstory
29 October 2010
I can't recall how I came across herstory, but it made me laugh anyway. As a politically correct term for history viewed through a feminist lens, or a demasculinisation of history, though, it's nonsensical. It seems to be predicated on the notion that history is somehow innately masculine. (more…)
HBCH (happy birthday, Switzerland)
1 August 2010
Today is Swiss National Day, the celebration of the first federation. We went to a farm brunch and then had friends over. And a very nice way to spend Sunday it was too. (more…)
The importance of the letter 's'
26 July 2010
In an otherwise dull Hollywood legal story, the name of lawyer Michael Plonsker struck me as a matter of if-not-good-it-could-have-been-worse luck. (more…)
Random
23 July 2010
Okay, so say you have a pet chicken. (more…)
The scoop on the poop
26 May 2010
Apparently streets awash with dog poo and vagrants isn't much of an incentive and, consequently, London has slipped to 39th spot on the world's cities in terms of quality of living. (more…)
I (heart) Eyjafjallajökull
11 May 2010
I was supposed to go to Madrid today for meetings tomorrow. I was dreading it, because not only do I not enjoy business travel particularly, but the last couple of days have been pretty emotionally charged for the girls. Yesterday was my eldest daughter's 5th birthday—how can my baby be 5?—and today is my, significantly more than fifth, birthday. The girls were quite upset about me having to leave today, and I wasn't exactly brimming with enthusiasm either. (more…)
Browser wars: why does it matter?
5 May 2010
The BBC reports on Internet Explorer's declining market share, although it's still the dominant web browser at around 60%. But why does it matter? Other than the time-honoured arguments of security and standards, why should anyone care whether people use IE or any other browser? (more…)
Financial crisis? What financial crisis?
30 April 2010
Apparently, senior staff at the US Securities and Exchange Commission have been taking some downtime from the financial crisis with a little pr0n-fuelled R'n'R. (more…)
OMG, there's more of them out there, just waiting...waiting...
16 March 2010
Just when you thought that the interwebz were awash enough with dumb yanks, it turns out that a third of the poor souls don't have broadband at home. But they shall not weep, for the US government shall provide. Although perhaps this is over-egging the pudding a tad: (more…)
Fred Morrison, pretender to Xena's crown
13 February 2010
Fred Morrison, self-styled inventor of the Frisbee, has died aged 90. He claimed to have invented the flying toy disc while playing with a tin lid with his girlfriend. (more…)
The colour grey
15 January 2010
Euronews would be vastly improved if it was fronted by Antoine de Caunes and Jean-Paul Gaultier. Because, as it is, it is boring. (more…)
My penis is 12" long, but I don't use it as a rule
10 November 2009
Those that can, do; those that can't, teach. Oft said, but it doesn't really apply to driving instructors. At least I hope it doesn't! (more…)
I name this spoon
7 April 2009
Ikea even go so far as to name their soddin' spoons FFS. And they're all called Ivan (or whatever). (more…)
Facebook
1 March 2009
I received an invite from someone who I'd briefly exchanged emails with about two years ago, asking me to be their friend on Facebook. And all I'd have to do is join first. (more…)
TLA is a TLA
15 February 2008
OMG; IMO; URL; IDK; FYI; TBH; IRL; FTW; TMI…internet culture is littered with three-letter acronyms, or TLA. (more…)
Short attention span
24 June 2005
Driving in to work today, I was musing on the wide range of makes of car on the roads and how, through mergers and acquisitions, there are actually relatively few major car manufacturers. (more…)
Cringeworthy scenes in films
9 May 2005
I don't know why, but last night I got to thinking about scenes in otherwise (half‑)decent films which really make you cringe. I'm not talking about films which are totally cringeworthy, just those that are otherwise okay. (more…)
I'd like a 'P' please, Bob
20 April 2005
Strangely, I was looking for ways to make yummy processed peas, like tinned marrowfat peas, because we can't get them easily in Switzerland. Anyhow, I happened across guidance from the Food and Agriculture Organisation and World Health Organisation on processed pea standards. I kid you not. (more…)
A joke, of sorts
7 February 2005
This came to me last night, it might be old, it might actually be a work of my creative genius, dunno: (more…)
Loonies
3 February 2005
There was a time, not so long ago gentle reader, when you could easily spot the loonies. They were the ones walking down the street talking to themselves. Give 'em a wide berth and you were safe. (more…)
Living with Boris
11 January 2005
On a couple of occasions at the supermarket, over the last few months, I've had difficulty in focussing on the items on the shelves. Not so much visually as mentally, it all becomes a sickening blur. (more…)
Poor kid, no future (sad)
5 January 2005
Studies suggest that babies who are fed an aural diet of classical music during pregnancy* have greater than average intelligence—or something else that's good, but I've forgotten. (more…)
Out of office
30 December 2004
hahaha…just got this out of office message from a female colleague: (more…)
Sequel, the first
27 December 2004
Structured Query Language, or SQL, is the programming language used to interrogate relational databases. But how does one pronounced SQL when discussing it? (more…)
TXT MSG SPK
15 November 2004
I fkn h8 txt msg spk in—Amazon, in this case—online reviews. I mean, if you can't be arsed to write properly, why bother? (more…)
Security checkpoints
10 November 2004
Okay, not so much security checkpoints because they more often than not play an important role. The problem is with the cockheads who know they have to show their security pass but, instead of having it ready, dick around looking in pockets, bags, and glove boxes. Coming in to work today, I got stuck behind two cars where the driver had to hunt for their pass. I mean, that fucking checkpoint has been there for years, what the hell were they expecting? (more…)
Staplers that don't
8 November 2004
…staple, that is. (more…)
I (heart) religion (ish)
20 May 2004
Right, so along with man's greed for territory and mineral deposits, religion has got to be the greatest cause of war, death, and human misery. And they ring the fekkin church bells on Sunday. (more…)
Unfortunate typo
8 April 2004
A US manufacturer sent me an e-mail with contact details for their European distributor, a guy called Jon Blows. (more…)
Midriff
23 March 2004
Girls showing midriff is okay if they're fit, but why do they do it when they have a roll of flab hanging over their jeans? It's just bad taste really. (more…)
Punching the air
1 January 2004
Herself was watching Air Force One on TV last night. Shit, I'd forgotton how bad that film was, but the bits at the end where all the backroom boys show how happy they are by jumping around and punching the air was indeed most risible. (more…)
Have you ever stolen a towel from a hotel?
23 December 2003
I was in a hotel Sunday night, and thought about how, even if I wasn't such an honest soul, I wouldn't steal the towels from most hotels coz they're like effing sandpaper. (sad) (more…)
Buying stuff online while drunk
6 December 2003
A couple of weeks ago I bought The Siege from Play.com, while I was rat-arsed. (more…)
Legalese
10 November 2003
I was reading a message from a lawyer this morning. It wasn't a legal document as such, just an email to update a domain name registration. And it got me thinking…who, other than a lawyer, would use anything like pursuant in everyday communication? (more…)
Spam (mad)
3 September 2003
Since 27 August I've had 1108 messages offering me everything from generic viagra, to an extra 3" for my best friend; from teen pr0n, to cheap mortgages. Most of these talk in terms of US$ and deliver, where applicable, to the 50 states of the Union. (more…)