Bitches bitch'n'

Okay, but ya didn't hear it from me, right?

There are 24 posts tagged: "if schadenfreude didn't exist, it would have to be created"

Pooh flu
30 July 2022

As the confirmation of new Chongvirus infections in Wuhan sends almost one million of its citizens into lockdown, two studies have offered compelling evidence linking the initial outbreak to the city's seafood and wildlife market. Together, they suggest that two variants were introduced into humans, from live mammals sold at Huanan market in late 2019.

Nothing good lasts forever
18 July 2022

As China continues its zero-Covid policy, severe and prolonged lockdowns in its critical manufacturing and business centres have driven its economy to underperform against expectations. The easing of global Chongmask mandates can't have helped either. (pipe)

BoJo gonna gogo?
6 July 2022

Now that both his chancellor and health secretary have resigned over the latest scandal to hit his premiership, we have to wonder how long BoJo can continue to bluff his way. When he appointed Chris Pincher as deputy chief whip earlier this year, he tacitly admitted to knowing that the old pervert had an unenviable reputation, referring to him as Pincher by name, pincher by nature.

Buzz cut
20 June 2022

Disney's drive to mine its past creative heights, in place of anything truly original, continues unbounded. This time, it's the turn of Pixar's Toy Story franchise to give it up for the house of mouse. Lightyear is the origins story behind the toy voiced by Tim Allen. And it's the film that Andy watched, sometime in the early '90s, that made him covet his very own Buzz Lightyear toy.

Neverending lockdown
24 May 2022

President Pooh's lackeys at the WHO are concerned over China's response to the WuFlu. They believe that continued lockdowns in the face of Chongvirus omicron are not sustainable. Oh well, never mind.

Political dishonesty
17 May 2022

It appears, quelle surprise!, that the Russian population receives a different narrative on the war in Ukraine to the rest of us. But one military analyst, retired colonel Mikhail Khodarenok, gave a frank and forthright assessment of the situation on Russian state TV: we are in total political isolation and the whole world is against us, even if we don't want to admit it.

Not isolated enough
12 May 2022

It appears that, although Kim Jong-un declared a shining success in dealing with the Wuflu last year, Chongvirus Omicron is now having a gay old time in North Korea. Despite the secretive state closing its borders in January 2020, Omicron has found a way into lil' fatboy's Supreme Leader's playpit.

Batwahmxn: done fookin' scissorin'
30 April 2022

Batwoman, one of the series set within The CW's Arrowverse, has been cancelled after three seasons. I only ever caught clips of it, usually when it was being roasted for its sheer bloody awfulness.

Postcard from the ancestral homeland
16 March 2022

China's economic resurgence has met a stumbling block in the shape of Chongvirus Omicron. Like its elder brother, Delta, Omicron is making a pilgrimage to its ancestral homeland, and is having a gay old time in the economically- and technologically-important regions of Guangdong, Jilin, Shandong, Shanghai, and Shenzhen.

Sheep to be fleeced
1 March 2022

Disney has launched a new Star Wars experience at Disney World, Florida: the Galactic Starcruiser, a Star Wars–themed luxury hotel. It is luxuriously expensive. But, from the early reviews, it appears that the actual experience is not similarly luxurious.

Skating on thin ice
8 February 2022

Wahey! Weibo's nationalistic shitheads are at it again. The it being brutally castigating their Olympians' performances, when failing to excel at things that they—the nationalistic shitheads, that is—wouldn't have a hope in hell of achieving in the first place. In particular, figure skater Zhu Yi, who fell a lot, leaving Team China out of the medals.

Going postal
18 January 2022

Beijing city officials warn that a local woman may have contracted Chongvirus Omicron from a foreign parcel. If true—and we're taking the word of CCP shitheads here, so caution is advised—then, by the same token, this could be one way in which they exported their little billet-doux to the world. (nosmile)

17 January 2022

It's been a long time coming. But the winds of change are finally set to blow throughout the People's Republic of Portland Place.

Slumming it
11 January 2022

As its financial position worsens, Evergrande has had to give up the lease on its prestigious headquarters in Shenzhen, China. The company announced that it was remaining in the city, but moving to a building that it itself owns.

10 December 2021

Chinese property-developer, Evergrande, has missed a crucial repayment deadline.

Daddy's little princess, a chip off the old block
6 December 2021

Ghislaine Maxwell, darling daughter of the late publishing tycoon, Robert, is on trial for sex trafficking underage girls to Jeffrey Epstein. Daddy would be so proud.

Not forevergrande
21 September 2021

With the potential collapse of Evergrande, the world's most indebted real estate developer, the outlook for China's economy is looking a little precarious. They'll have to churn out more Chongmasks to compensate.

Sore losers
3 August 2021

It appears that Weibo's nationalist shitheads don't take kindly to China's Olympic athletes unpatriotically losing out on gold. From behind their keyboards and keypads, they fulminate and humiliate their fellow countrymen and -women for failing at something that they could never achieve themselves. And the athletes, like dumfux, accept it.

Ancestral homeland
2 August 2021

It may have been raised in the fetid sewers of India but, yearning for the homeland of its ancestors, Chongvirus Delta has now made its pilgrimage to the fetid sewers of China. This time of year is, apparently, the domestic tourism season, so it should afford an excellent opportunity for Delta to visit many parts of the country.

Bonus points
30 July 2021

Scarlett Johansson is suing Disney for breach of contract, because Black Widow was released on streaming at the same time as at theatres. She claims that the subsequent box office bombing resulted in a loss of additional earnings of $50m. This is over and above the $20m that she's already received.

The Deer Hunter
25 October 2019

Thomas Alexander was hunting deer near the Orzak mountains in Arkansas when he shot and felled a buck. When he approached the deer to check that it was dead, it stood up and gored him. Mr Alexander was later declared dead.

Less influential
15 March 2019

In the wake of the US university admissions bribery scandal, and following her flippant comments on attending university, influencer Olivia Jade Giannulli, Lori Laughlin's youngest daughter, is now a little less influential.

Let's go with plan B
20 November 2016

As a general rule, gloating at someone else's personal failure is not a good look; schadenfreude is pretty mean-spirited without context. There are exceptions, however, and Elizabeth Holmes is one of mine.

Barclays' boss to resign!
29 June 2012

At the moment, Barclays' CEO Bob Diamond is saying that he won't resign over the lending rate fixing scandal. But we all know that when someone in this position says they won't resign, that's exactly what they do…quietly…two weeks later.