Hey, I don't want no trouble

There are 41 posts tagged: the cuntry club

It's better to remain silent and appear a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt: 9 February 2024; One reason for not pursuing criminal charges against 'Pa FJB, despite evidence to support a prosecution, offered by the special counsel investigating his shenanigans after he left office in 2017, was that a jury would sympathise with him as a well-meaning, elderly man with a poor memory.
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The life of Brian (trannie): 4 February 2024; Back at the beginning of 2022, Magdalene Visaggio, né Brian, a [cough] transgender grifter; low-rent activist; and social media panhandler, claimed on Twitter—where else?—that Kurt Cobain was also transgender. The claim was based partly on historical shithead rhetoric, and partly on photos showing him wearing a dress while performing. It was the '90s, it was grunge; WTF do you expect Mags, you silly boy?
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Nepo babies: 19 October 2023; Gwyneth Paltrow protests that the nepo baby label is an ugly moniker, and that children of famous people shouldn't be judged negatively. For what it's worth, I think they should be judged on their personal merits, and demerits, just like anyone else.
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Marianna unsprung: 2 October 2023; I've mocked the often self-serving grift of the BBC's social media and disinformation correspondent, Marianna Spring, on several occasions. But Spiked's Tom Slater takes a deeper dive, and does a more thorough job of calling out her hubris in Marianna Spring: the BBC’s misinformation merchant.
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Will the real Slim Shady please grow up?: 29 August 2023; It's a time-honoured tradition in US politics, whereby Republican campaigners use popular music to show that they're down wit' da kidz, and musicians order them to not use their performance for political gain. It's petty, but a recording is a recording, and recordings are covered by copyright restrictions on public performance, so fair enough.
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Please sir, I want some more: 6 August 2023; As SAG-AFTRA's luvvies continue to withhold their massive talent from the camera's loving gaze, everyone's favourite Latina grifter, Rachel Zegler, brought her own perspective to the pity party. In a video that went viral for all the wrong reasons, and saw her getting roasted for being entitled and out-of-touch, she declared:
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Taking the piss: 10 April 2023; In the wake of recent controversy over narcissist and self-publicist Dylan Mulvaney being attached to Bud Light as a brand ambassador.
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No shits for Springtime (poop): 21 March 2023; You can't keep a ~~good journalist~~ hack urinalist down, and once again Marianna Spring has sprung into mithering over trolls on Twitter. Oh, and pimping her gossamer-thin investigation, instigated by personal butthurt and treated derisively by the space cadet:
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Hypocrisy, thy name art faded footballer: 8 March 2023; Comrade Lineker has displeased the politburo of the People's Republic of Portland Place, by likening the UK's asylum policy to [cough] a certain period in Germany's history. He's to be spoken to and reminded of his responsibilities towards the republic. After all, antagonising the government draws its unwanted attention to the PRPP's other activities.
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Springtime for Hateler: 6 March 2023; Marianna Spring is the BBC's disinformation and social media correspondent. Her role is to seek out problems on teh soshull meejah and whinge about them. This time, it's about hurt fee-fees on Twitter, particularly hers. First World problems, huh? (snowflake)
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Is there a grindstone in the house?: 3 March 2023; Disgraced former UK health secretary, Matt Hancock—emphasis on the cock—has published an account of his time as Kommandant Gefangenenlagers Großbritannien during the pandemic. Imaginatively enough, his opus—or should that be meisterwerk?—is entitled Pandemic Diaries: The inside story of Britain’s battle against Covid. Sounds riveting. (snooze)
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Symbolic gesture: 19 November 2022; The BBC is sending Gary Lineker, its most highly-paid mouth-breather, to Qatar to watch tosspots kick balls around fields. But, he's not excited by the prospect. Oh no. He's really only going so that he can champion the cause of human rights and raise awareness. Oh yes.
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Stolen future: 16 November 2022; With the announcement that he intends to run for US president in 2024, and given his magnanimity in defeat, I'm calling it now: Donald J. Trump won't lose the election; it'll be stolen from him. (wink)
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What a fool should keep to himself: 10 October 2022; In what appears to be an effort to suck up to the nationalistic shitheads in its northwestern dominion, Elon Musk has thrown them Taiwan as a bone. But I'm sure he couldn't have an ulterior motive. Oh, no!
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Old King Cock: 15 September 2022; On the passing of Queen Elizabeth II, Jamaicans are considering a future as a republic. I can't say I blame them.
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Brother, can you spare a halalah?*: 1 August 2022; HRH Prince Charles' financial relationship with the Middle East isn't limited to accepting shopping bags stuffed with drinking tokens from Qatari prime ministers. In 2013, he accepted donations to his charitable fund from a Saudi family by the name of Bin Laden. The family's most well-known son—a cheeky wee scamp named Osama—was apparently a bit of a wild child, whom they disowned in 1994.
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Turning tricks: 26 June 2022; HRH Prince Charles, the Prince of Wales, accepted wads of cash totalling €3M, handed to him in suitcases and shopping bags, as charitable donations from Qatar's prime minister between 2011 and 2015. According to his spokesperson, all donations were passed immediately to one of the prince's charities and all the correct processes were followed.
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Two-faced Charlie: 19 June 2022; As Commonwealth heads of state head to Rwanda for a knees-up, Prince Charles will be representing the Queen as the head of the Commonwealth. This will likely increase his chances of rubbing shoulders with BoJo, of whose Rwandan relocation plan he's not so keen.
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Champagne conservative: 9 February 2022; After we've discovered that Boozy BoJo has a pretty ropey taste in beer, is seems that his, or his carers', taste in champagne is more refined. At least, that appears to be a bottle of Veuve Cliquot to the left of the image.
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Drinking piss: 5 February 2022; As the pressure on BoJo over restriction-busting knees-ups at Downing Street increases, it appears that the PM was photographed at one event holding a can of beer.
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Looks like a pig, walks like a pig...: 18 January 2022; As we delight in BoJo's further embarrassment over restrictions-busting boozy knees-ups at Downing Street, his former chief adviser tried to blow all pretence of innocence-through-ignorance out of the water.
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Licence-free: 17 January 2022; It's been a long time coming. But the winds of change are finally set to blow throughout the People's Republic of Portland Place.
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Boozy nights: 16 January 2022; While the rest of Britain was in lockdown, the studz 'n' wenchz of Westminster showed that they know how to PAAAR‑TAAY. Rules are made to be broken. Ask Matt Han(don)cock, he wrote them.
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Make mine an hypocrisy on the rocks: 25 June 2021; The UK health secretary, Matt Hancock—emphasis on the cock—has been a naughty boy. He's been caught flouting his very own social distancing guidelines, by kissing an aide who he hired. C'mon, give the guy a break. It wouldn't have been much of an affair if they'd maintained social distancing requirements, FFS! (rolleyes)
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Couldn't see it coming: 8 May 2021; As Indian variants of the Chongvirus gain popularity in the UK, the bouncing bombsite has said the government needs to carefully handle outbreaks. Not letting them in to the country in the first place would've been a good place to start, BoJo.
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The transsporting life: 3 May 2021; In the same interview in which he announced his surgical diminution, Elliot Page objected to bans on transgender girls playing in girls' sports. (snowflake)
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Titless: 3 May 2021; Those of us who scoffed at Elliot Page's commitment to joining the patriarchy, are laughing on the other side of our faces now. He's only gone and had a titectomy! Although, in true Page style, it's accompanied by a public announcement, in an interview with Oprah Winfrey. I'm assuming that Apple TV+ counts as public.
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Return to normal: 23 March 2021; As a mass shooting at a Boulder, Colorado supermarket leaves ten people dead, it would be the mark of a true cynic to see any light in this tragedy.
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Arrogance, pollie-waffle style: 18 January 2021; According to the Victorian premier, Daniel Andrews, tennis players living under strict quarantine rules after arriving for the Australian Open will get no special treatment. Ummm, other than jumping the queue for entry to the country over 37,000 Australian citizens who have been trying to get home for months?
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Dodging a bullet?: 8 January 2021; As Trump Republicans invade the Capitol, outgoing US President Donald Trump snubs the inauguration of President-Elect Biden, while also facing calls for a second impeachment and to be thrown out of office. And, thus, one of the most divisive US presidencies comes to an inglorious end. Not that it was too auspicious at the best of times.
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Just a regular guy: 2 December 2020; In what appears to be a desperate attempt to stay relevant in the public consciousness, Ellen Page has come out. Again. Strewth, is she ever in for more than five minutes?
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I spy: 28 September 2020; As BoJo the yo-yo clamps down further on freedom in HMP GB, fines of £1,000 are being introduced for people failing to self-isolate in England, escalating to £10,000 for repeat offenders. According to the UK government, the police can use local intelligence to check that the ~~inmates~~ great British citizenry are complying.
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What a fool believes: 2 August 2020; Elon Musk, a man who believes in life out there [points at the stars], may have embarrassed himself on Twitter by musing on the extraterrestrial origin of the pyramids. Egypt's minister of international co-operation, Rania al-Mashat, and Egyptian archeologist Zahi Hawass have refuted his statement—but they would, wouldn't they?—although I thought that al-Mashat's response was unnecessarily deferential to the space cadet.
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Return to whose normality?: 18 July 2020; UK Premier, Boris Johnson, has announced his plans for a significant return to normality by Christmas.
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[Han]cock and bull story: 14 July 2020; In part justification for an illogical mandate for customers to wear masks in shops and supermarkets, the UK's health secretary is reported to have told Parliament:
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UK Government in not making sense shock!: 14 July 2020; In the latest instalment of the COVID-19 pandemic fallout, the UK Government has announced that face coverings will become mandatory in shops and supermarkets in England from 24 July.
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Pointing the finger: 18 October 2017; According to the Wikipedia entry for Gil Scott-Heron—I have no idea how I got there!—he has been credited by music writers as the godfather of rap, while according to Eminem: He influenced all of hip-hop.
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Bonkers, but not in a benign way: 10 August 2017; North Korea has escalated its sabre rattling, and now threatens a rocket strike on the US territory of Guam.
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Hubris: how gay!: 9 November 2012; In a perhaps unguarded moment during a light-hearted radio interview, New Zealand's prime minister John Key referred to a presenter wearing a gay red top. This outraged some who construed it as a slur against the homosexual community. Key later defended himself, stating that he used the word gay to mean weird rather than as a deliberate offence; the Oxford English Dictionary notes its use in this manner to mean foolish, stupid, or unimpressive.
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Earl Scruggs: gon dun pikkin': 29 March 2012; Who? I hear you cry. Only the Earl Scruggs; the man who pretty much invented modern country music single-handedly is no more. I'm not sure whether to feel relieved that he finally got his come-uppence, or robbed of knowing who to direct my ire towards until it was too late.
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Kim Jong-il: 'im gone-il: 19 December 2011; Merry Christmas everyone, the funniest part of Team America: World Police has finally done the decent thing!
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