Columbian clot
In my ongoing drive to mock the incompetence of predatory publishers and their staff, I have been gifted a request from Alice Vickers, on behalf of Perceptions in Reproductive Medicine.
Obviously, the language is not first rate, even for a New Yorker, and Alice expects me to know the submission deadline simply on the basis of this being November's edition. What makes this missive special is that the editorial From address is reproductive@crimsonpublishers.com, the same domain as the company's website, but her Reply-To address is somewhat lacking. Either Crimson Publisher(s) is needlessly running a second domain out of Columbia, or Alice prefers a minimalist inbox. (thinking)
I'm at a loss as to their confidence that I'll always be here to support them. I haven't until now, and I have no intention of changing a winning formula. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. (pipe)
From: Perceptions in Reproductive Medicine <reproductive@crimsonpublishers.com> Reply-to: reproductive@crimsonpublisher.co
Dear Professor, I hope that you and your family is staying healthy and safe!! We are in shortfall of articles for successful release of Volume 4 Issue 5 by November Edition. Is it possible for you to support us with your 2-page Opinion/Mini Review for this issue? For more information: https://crimsonpublishers.com/journals.php We are confident that you are always will be there to support us. We are releasing special issue related to COVID-19. If interested, submit us. Await your optimistic response. Best Regards, Alice Vickers Perceptions in Reproductive Medicine |ISSN: 2640-9666| COSMOS Impact Factor: 3.153 Crimson Publishers, 555 Madison Avenue, 5th floor New York, NY 10022, USA Mobile: +1 (929) 600-8049 | Tel: +1 (929) 447-1137 Website: crimsonpublishers.com | Email: reproductive@crimsonpublishers.com To unsubscribe to our emails. Just reply back with "Unsubscribe" in subject line.
Alice Vickers is back. And she's addressed her earlier email address confusion. She must've wondered why her previous solicitation met with muted response.
I'm heartened to know that Alice believes in me, although my joy was somewhat diminished when I learnt that my one article will be the best achievement of her journal. Either she hasn't seen my work, or Perceptions in Reproductive Medicine is a low achiever. Neither's much to be proud of.
Subject: Participate in knowledge expansion Dear Researcher
From: Perceptions in Reproductive Medicine <alicevickers@crimsonsciences.com>
Dear Researcher, Hope you are having a great day! Can I have your article forApril Issue? All the authors around the globe are cordially invited to submit any type of article based upon your research interest for the upcoming edition. I believe in you that, your one article brings out the best achievement to our Journal. Acknowledge this email with enormous support. Best Regards, Alice Vickers Perceptions in Reproductive Medicine |ISSN: 2640-9666| COSMOS Impact Factor: 3.153 Crimson Publishers, 555 Madison Avenue, 5th floor New York, NY 10022, USA Mobile: +1 (929) 600-8049 | Tel: +1 (929) 447-1137 Website: crimsonpublishers.com | Email: reproductive@crimsonpublishers.com
Apparently, eminent people can knock out a two page article without taking any time. That must be real fancy. I wish I was as eminent as Alice thinks I am. Still, once again, I was prompt in acknowledging her message, so at least I'm not slacking!
And the ho's From mail header is inching closer to the one in her signature, which I assume is her actual corporate address. So she's slacking less.
From: Perceptions in Reproductive Medicine <reproductive@crimsonpublisher.com> Subject: Shortfall Dear Researcher Date: Wed, 15 Jun 2022 16:41:44 +0000
Dear Researcher, Hope you are doing well. We are in need of articles for successful release of Volume 5 Issue 2 by 22ndJune? Is it possible for you to support us with your 2 page opinion/case report or mini review, we hope 2 page article isn't time taken for eminent people like you. We hope you won't disappoint us. Acknowledge this email within 24hrs. Best Regards, Alice Vickers Perceptions in Reproductive Medicine |ISSN: 2640-9666| COSMOS Impact Factor: 3.153 Crimson Publishers, 555 Madison Avenue, 5th floor New York, NY 10022, USA Mobile: +1 (929) 600-8049 | Tel: +1 (929) 447-1137 Website: crimsonpublishers.com | Email: reproductive@crimsonpublishers.com To unsubscribe to our emails. Just reply back with "Unsubscribe" in subject line.
As requested, acknowledged within 24 hours. Eminent person
Alice's reply was almost as low-energy as mine. She hasn't given any specific date for their special issue
though. I guess their timelines are flexible.
But she hasn't requested further acknowledgement, so I think we're good for now.
Thank you for your reply. Well, let you know that we are planning to release a Special Issue and request you submit any type of article based on your research interest. So that we can plan to release an issue in time. Hope you understand us. Await your positive comeback. Best Regards, Alice Vickers
Bloody hell, I'd forgotten all about Alice Vickers. I didn't even think that the lack of correspondence for over half a year was due to her demise, she simply never entered my mind. But, here she is, like nothing had happened!
I have to admit to some confusion though. The subject of her message lured me with the promise of of a [cough] coveted editorial board membership. But it transpires that she just wants me to assist her with my article
…phnaar phnaar!
Still, I think it wise to make absolutely certain.
From: Perceptions in Reproductive Medicine <reproductive@researchcrimson.com> Subject: Join Editorial Board Dear Researcher Importance: high Date: Mon, 27 Feb 2023 16:00:07 +0000
Dear Researcher, Hope you are doing well. We are in shortfall of one article for the newly launched issue i.e., Volume 5 Issue 4 in Perceptions in Reproductive Medicine. Is it possible for you to assist us with your article for this issue release on or before 8th March? If this is short notice, please do send a 2-page opinion/mini review/case report. Hope you won't disappoint us. Kindly acknowledge this email for further queries. Sincerely, Alice Vickers Perceptions in Reproductive Medicine |ISSN: 2640-9666| COSMOS Impact Factor: 3.153 Crimson Publishers LLC, 590 Madison Ave FI 21, New York, NY 10022, USA If not interested, please email us.
Dear Alice Vickers, Thank you for your communication. I am confused by the difference between the subject of your email and its contents. Could you please clarify whether you were inviting me to join your esteemed editorial board, or submit my manuscript to your auspicious journal? I have a short article, but it could easily get much bigger, if you know what I mean! ;) Sincerely,
Okay, it seems that Alice wants me to pay for my valuable research to be shat onto the internet by her garbage webcomic, rather than me working pro bono for said webcomic. All I have to do is submit my any type of article
, for an undisclosed fee.
Under normal circumstances, I could check the fees on the website. Except these aren't normal circumstances, and the company's website is blocked as a security risk. How fitting.
From: Perceptions in Reproductive Medicine <reproductive@researchcrimson.com> Subject: Manuscript Submission Importance: high X-Priority: 1 Date: Tue, 28 Feb 2023 09:19:48 +0000
Thank you for your reply. It would be our pleasure to clarify your query, we request you to submit your any type of article towards our journal. Track the below URL for online manuscript submission https://crimsonpublishersresearch.com/online-submission.php Hope you understand us. Await your submission. Alice Vickers Perceptions in Reproductive Medicine |ISSN: 2640-9666| COSMOS Impact Factor: 3.153
Alice wants to know the status of my manuscript submission. I have nothing to submit, although she doesn't know that. But it can't hurt to tease her with the one that got away, while also offering her some helpful advice. The Lord taketh away and the Lord giveth, as it were. What a good boy I am! (proud)
From: Perceptions in Reproductive Medicine <reproductive@researchcrimson.com> Subject: Acknowledgement Importance: high X-Priority: 1 Disposition-Notification-To: Perceptions in Reproductive Medicine <reproductive@researchcrimson.com> Return-Receipt-To: <reproductive@researchcrimson.com> Date: Fri, 3 Mar 2023 08:46:33 +0000
Hope you are doing well. Can I know the status of your manuscript submission? Hope you understand us. Await your response. Alice Vickers Perceptions in Reproductive Medicine |ISSN: 2640-9666| COSMOS Impact Factor: 3.153
Dear Alice Vickers I tried repeatedly to upload my manuscript using the link that you provided. Unfortunately, my attempts were met with a security warning; the site security certificate has been revoked. My supervisor advised me to submit to another journal, and that is what I have done. Sincerely,
Well, that seems to have put the wind up her. I fully understand her concern: she sees the publication fees slipping away.
And I would've gotten away with it if it wasn't for those meddling
[shakes fist]technical issues
.
But she obviously didn't read my reply properly. Doing so could've saved both of us some effort. Time for smackdown!
From: Perceptions in Reproductive Medicine <reproductive@researchcrimson.com> Subject: Acknowledgement Importance: high X-Priority: 1 Disposition-Notification-To: Perceptions in Reproductive Medicine <reproductive@researchcrimson.com> Return-Receipt-To: <reproductive@researchcrimson.com> Date: Fri, 3 Mar 2023 09:18:48 +0000
Thank you for your prompt response. We would like to inform you that due to some technical issues we are unable to receive your manuscript. So, we request you to submit your manuscript directly to this mail at your earliest possibility. Hope you understand my concern. Await your reply. Alice Vickers Perceptions in Reproductive Medicine |ISSN: 2640-9666| COSMOS Impact Factor: 3.153
Dear Alice Vickers As I noted before, my supervisor advised me to submit my manuscript to another journal, so I did. Sincerely,
Can I expect your article towards publication in our Journal of PRM?
- You can expect anything you like, Alice, as long as you expect disappointment above all else.
The passing of ten months obviously vacated Alice's memory. I'm not sure why I would email her if I wasn't interested though, it's not as if she'd remove me from her shitlist.
From: Perceptions in Reproductive Medicine <reproductive@crimsonpublisher.com> Subject: Participate in knowledge expansion Dear Dr. Professor Date: Tue, 16 Jan 2024 14:27:59 +0000
Dear Dr. Professor, Good Morning! Can I expect your article towards publication in our Journal of PRM? Well, we are in deficit of one article to accomplish the current issue. Can you help us with your Research or Review or Mini Review Submission by 24th January? I am sure you're quite busy, but I would appreciate if you could provide your acknowledgment within 24hrs. Await your hopeful response. Best Regards Alice Vickers Reproductive Medicine | ISSN: 2640-9666 Crimson Publishers, USA, Contact: +1 (929) 600-8049 If not interested, email us.