The book that writes itself for you, but not quite
Most of the unsolicited email that I receive into my business account is from laboratory suppliers, despite me not having a laboratory!; low-rent conference organisers; or lower-rent open source publishers. And then, every so often, there's something out of the ordinary.
I am Stacy Richards, Editorial assistant from Index of Sciences Ltd. contacting you with the reference from our editorial department. Based on your outstanding contribution to the scientific community, we would like to write a book for you. Researchers like you are adding so much value to the scientific community, yet you are not getting enough exposure. No matter how many papers you publish in famous journals, you will be still unknown to common people. To solve this problem, we came up with this unique solution. For example: If you did some outstanding research in “Diabetes”, why not write a book on Diabetes? With your busy schedule, it will be pretty hard for you to write a book. But, our team of experienced writers can write a book for you and will send it for your review. Also, No one will buy a book on diabetes if the book was written by some unknown person, but if it was written by an expert like you, it will garner huge attention and you will have full control of what needs to be written in the book. After that, Your book will then be listed on famous websites like Amazon, eBay, Goodreads, and many other popular book websites. As a result, you will get good credit and people will recognize your hard work and your scientific contributions. Last but not least, after the publication of your book, it will be published in Google News, Yahoo, and other major news channels. What more can you ask for? All we need is your book writing contract, so that we will come up with a proposal and theme. Will be waiting to hear from you. Best Regards, Stacy Richards.
What more could I ask for? How about not receiving drivel, like this, from barely literate pond life, like you, Stacy?
And, no, I'm not going to click that unsubscribe
link. Instead, I think I'll play along, just to add shit to her inbox.
Dear Stacy Richards Thank you so much for reaching out to me. It is heartening to learn that my work has had such an impact within your esteemed organisation! I would be delighted if you could write a book on my behalf on ‘Winnie the Pooh’s Contribution to Bee Husbandry and Hunny Extraction’. I believe that this could have significant impact on the theme. I look forward to your proposal. Yours sincerely,
Unfortunately, Stacy Richards then fell onto my junk mail senders list, so I may never learn what proposal they might come up with. Quelle dommage!
And now I feel a little better. Anyone for hunny?
A little something for the spambots: stacy@absolutesciences.com