Pervy Pigs

25.05.2023 08:39 UTC+02:00
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photo of a woman, dressed in pink, holding a bad of Percy Pig sweets — Does my bum look big in this? Orla Melissa Sloan with a little snack for herself and her [cough] fans.

A social media influencer has been found guilty of stalking and harassing three Premier League football players. So far, so drear.

What's far less drear—as in you gotta be shittin' me!—is that she previously earned £50,000 by eating Percy Pig sweets while naked. I guess a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do to scrape a living.

I like Percivals. I bite their little jelly ears off first, before eating their soft mallow faces. (yummy)

Fortunately for those around me, I do this while fully clothed.