I think I've soiled myself

Bottom secret

Victoria's Secret catwalk Dimitrios Kambouris / Getty Images
Victoria's Secret last catwalk in 2018: Simply to add a little colour to an otherwise dull-looking page.

I thought that I couldn't care less about Victoria's Secret's angels. How wrong I was.

Victoria's Secret is considering bringing back a "re-imagined" version of its runway show as the lingerie giant embarks on a "dramatic shift" for the brand.

Dearbail Jordan, business reporter, BBC News

Moving away from its past focus on statuesque models strutting about in next-to-nothing, Victoria's Secret has announced The VS Collective. Body positivity is a fine aspiration, as long as it's discrete and not paraded in public.

Because, as much as fatties and uglies might like to delude themselves otherwise, the reality is that only a few have it; most of us simply don't. And that's okay, there's nothing wrong in being ordinary. Like Silvio Berlusconi, we can make up for it with our charm and wit.

But, while Gigi Hadid prancing around in lingerie didn't really get me excited, the very idea of Megan Rapinoe doing the same in her grundies is too barf-inducing for comfort. (ewww)