Somebody actually said this
Christ only knows how I got there, but Lucy-Ann Jones, trainee reporter
for Dudley News, informs us of a startling
two-seater plane crash at Halfpenny Green Airport, near Wolverhampton. So far, so boring.*
But an eyewitless, an amateur photographer named only as Mike D., actually said this:
Things like this don’t happen here.
Mark D., via Dudley News
Clearly they do though, don't they Mark? Otherwise we wouldn't be discussing it here, would we Mark? (rolleyes)
* I can say that without fear of insensitivity, because the sole casualty sustained only minor injuries and was discharged on scene by paramedics.
Incidentally, Lisa O'Brien, the chief reporter at the Express & Star who confirmed the casualty status, posted her report on the same day as Jones. And she gives far more detail from more credible sources than one eyewitless. I guess these are the ropes that trainees learn on the way to becoming less unreliable reporters.
It is currently not known whether anyone has been injured during the crash. More details to follow.
Lucy-Ann Jones, trainee reporter, Dudley News
As of three days after both her's and O'Brien's reports, those details still haven't followed. Yet, on 06.12.2022, Jones tweeted that she'd passed her NQJ exams and is now a senior journalist. Presumably, these aren't the sort of things taught at jernulizzum skewl. (shrug)
Back in the olden days, when journalism meant more than copy/pasting mouth-breathers' tweets, trainees were known as cub reporters. Which I think is cute.