Make like I'm not talkin' to ya

There are 41 posts tagged: reviews

Aquamoan: 22 December 2023; I've seen Aquaman (2018). It was okay, but barely. And I haven't been psyched or pumped for the sequel, especially as it retains the dubious thespian talents of a bedshitter who should've been kicked to the kerb after the Johnny Depp defamation trial.
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Reacher: 25 February 2023; I enjoyed Tom Cruise's two outings as Jack Reacher, in Jack Reacher and Jack Reacher: Never Go Back. But they weren't to everyone's taste. In particular, fans of Lee Child's novels railed against Cruise's stature; Reacher's 8' tall with hands the size of dinner plates…or something like that. Clearly they don't understand that actors pretend to be what they're not, it's known as acting, and Cruise was pretending to be 2'6" taller.
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A tale of two dames: 4 January 2023; I received The Good Liar, starring Dames Helen Mirren and Ian Winkies McKellen, as a gift for Christmas. In it, McKellen plays a man who likes the ladies; and that's acting folks! It's what thespians do, dontchaknow?* (muses)
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Morbius: 17 April 2022; I've swung this-way-and-that over Morbius, since it was announced.
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Old LA: 21 March 2022; In his customary overly-critical analysis of pop music lyrics, Todd in the Shadows comments on a line in 1974's Beach Baby, written by John (Carter) and Gillian Shakespeare, and performed by The First Class. This example of British bubblegum pop whimsy opens with this truly excruciating rhyming couplet:
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Peachy: 21 January 2022; Counting down his choice of The Top Ten Worst Hit Songs of 2021, Todd in the Shadows muses on the banality of Justin Bieber's Peaches, ft. Daniel Caesar and Giveon.
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Standing in the shadows: 16 January 2022; Todd in the Shadows is a popular music critic. A critic of popular music, that is; although his YouTube channel is approaching half a million subscribers, so I guess he's popular…ish. His chart retrospectives are based on the Billboard Hot 100 year-end lists, but most of the entries are familiar even to me, having grown up in England.
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The Hustle: one word review: 26 December 2021; Excrutiating. 2/10.
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The Matrix Resuscitated: 22 December 2021; In his three-star review of The Matrix Resurrections, Nicholas Barber dams the trilogy's fourth instalment with the faintest praise.
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Klaus: 6 December 2021; I watched Klaus last night with my eldest daughter. We both loved it.
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The Closer: 20 October 2021; Today's the day for which Netflix employees, supported by bargain-basement celebrities who I've never heard of, had threatened a walkout in protest against Dave Chappelle's special, The Closer. I had intended to watch it earlier, but postponed it until today to mark this non-event.
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WW84 (sad): 29 August 2021; Oh dear, what happened here?
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L&O:SVU: 15 August 2021; I watched Law & Order on UK terrestrial TV, back in the day. It was a reasonable enough way to pass the time, given that would've passed anyway. The police procedural half of the show was entertaining, but although the prosecution half wrapped the story up, I was never that interested in lawyers talking legal bollocks. Lawyers aren't likeable heroes. Even if they're on the side of good, they're at best a necessary evil.
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Birds Of Prey four word review: 12 August 2021; Please. Make. Her. Stop.
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Iron Fist: 18 July 2021; I recently happened across Marvel's Iron Fist on Netflix. I'd never heard of the character before, but I can only assume that the comic book version must've been way less irritating. Otherwise, he'd never have got his own show. Right?
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Justice is served!: 17 March 2021; Zac Snyder's version of Justice League is finally upon us, with most critics agreeing that it's an improvement on the 2017 original, at least according to those reviews cited by the BBC. The original was infamously ~~fucked up~~, sorry, reimagined by Joss Whedon, when he took over the production after Snyder's departure following a family tragedy. I have watched that version, described by one anonymous Warner Bros executive as a piece of shit. It was…okay, but let down by a muddled plot and an anticlimactic antagonist.
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Taking one for the team: 22 December 2020; My youngest daughter is a true PotterHead. She's read all of the books and watched all of the films. Several times. On rotation. My psychotic sister gave her Harry Potter Trivial Pursuit for Christmas last year, presumably because she hates us. (thinking)
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The Sequalizer: 2 November 2020; I binge-watched The Equalizer and The Equalizer 2 over the weekend. Denzel Washington was compelling, as always, and both films could definitely be considered quite good. But both also suffered from those WTF moments that suggest that the writers just couldn't be arsed to finish the job properly.
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Captain Okay(ish): 29 September 2020; I finally got around to watching Captain Marvel over the weekend. Even being aware of the online butt-hurt over its identity politicking and lack of a character arc, I didn't think that it was too bad. And who gives a shit about character arcs anyway, other than film school graduates? Maybe I'm shallow, or perhaps it had something to do with my being…umm…relaxed.
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Justice League: 10 April 2018; I don't understand the hate that this film garnered. Perhaps it's Marvel fanbois trying to rain on DC's parade, or DC fanbois who're upset that it doesn't meet their preconceived ideas. If you come to this film objectively, it's entertaining enough.
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BvS: DoJ: someone fire the costume designer: 5 April 2018; I don't know why Gal Gadot is presented so prominently on the Blu-Ray cover to Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, because she has hardly any screen time. Which is unfortunate, since Wonder Woman's the best part of this film.
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Thor Ragnarok: 5 April 2018; Thor battles to prevent Asgaard being destroyed by his long-lost sister, whom Odin cast into oblivion. Some reviewers railed against the humour, but I didn't think it was overdone.
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Baby Driver: don't believe the hype, but grab it while you can: 21 November 2017; Don't believe the hype: I saw the trailers. I bought the hype. The car chase sequences are, indeed, brilliant. But can a film be more than car chases?
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Minions: 24 December 2015; Basically, one five-minute joke stretched beyond breaking point. The loveable little yellow guys from Despicable Me and its sequel battle a wafer-thin plot that's more of a challenge than the supervillainess. Cringeworthy pokes at British stereotypes, of the type that the makers wouldn't dare do to Blacks or Jews, just add to the sheer bloody awfulness.
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Whoopsie!: 23 February 2014; I thought (or seemed to remember I thought) Whoops Apocalypse was hilarious, as I first watched it when aired in 1982. In recent years I found myself looking for it to become available on DVD. In the absence of the TV series, I bought the film version when it came to DVD a few years ago. But I couldn't finish it, it was so bad. It tags along, unloved and unwanted, on this release too.
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Rose-tinted (beer) glasses: 18 February 2014; I recalled Hot Metal as being a hilarious parody of muck-raking gutter journalism in the UK. At least my recollection wasn't wholly misplaced. But, now it's been released to DVD, it's not as funny as I remembered, which may be related to it having been aired after I would've returned from the pub. I've either grown up, or sobered up, since then.
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Planking: 15 October 2013; I rewatched The Terminator last night. It's still great fun, almost thirty years after its release. The SFX appear more clumsy than special though; especially the animatronic terminator, which bears an uncanny resemblance to Michael Myers in Halloween. Perhaps they were more convincing at the time, I don't recall. (shrug)
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Django Unchained: five word review: 11 July 2013; A fine Blazing Saddles parody.
Wanted: 9 March 2013; I finally got around to watching Wanted. It's a reasonably good film, fun and exciting with a novel turn. But it's badly let down by a terrible last line from the antagonist, as he realises that he's been set up for assassination: Oh, fuck!
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Law Abiding Citizen: ten word review: 24 September 2012; Butler, good; Foxx, poor; plot, reasonable; ending, terrible; beer, excellent.
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Avengers Assemble: nine word review: 23 September 2012; Fun but gay, or gay but fun? You decide.
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The Adjustment Bureau: ten word review: 26 December 2011; Fairly decent, confusing, fun. Matt Damon, good. Emily Blunt, woof.
Despicable Me: ten word review: 21 April 2011; Gets better toward the end. ×2
Birdemic: shock of reviews: 8 April 2010; Being touted as possibly the worst film ever, Birdemic: Shock and Terror is the story of bad actors and bad dialogue livened up with bald eagles. This, from an IMDb reviewer, may say more about him than anything, but it made me laugh nonetheless:
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Time Bomb: 8 July 2005; I was ill off work. So ill that I stayed in bed until about 3pm, and still felt like shit.
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The family that saves together, stays together: 23 March 2005; I assume that most of you who wanted to see The Incredibles saw it at the cinema, or picture playhouse, or whatever you hip dudes 'n' dudettes call the kinematograph parlour these days. Anyhow, I had the DVD on preorder and it arrived yesterday, so we watched it last night.
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Man On Fire (2004): 8 October 2004; We watched this last night. A run-of-the-mill Latino kidnapping affair. Better than Proof Of Life, but then what isn't?
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The Matrix Revolutions: 13 April 2004; I finally got around to watching this. The DVD's been laying around for the last couple of weeks.
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Bad Boys II: 23 March 2004; We just got around to watching BB2. Oh dear.
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Buying stuff online while drunk: 6 December 2003; A couple of weeks ago I bought The Siege from Play.com, while I was rat-arsed.
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The Matrix Reloaded: 24 October 2003; I finally got around to watching this last night.
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