I think I've soiled myself

Check it out

BBC home page: “The spectacular fail of self-checkout tech: Both retailers and customers are ditching he [sic] technology that hasn't delivered”
BBC home page

Writing for BBC Worklife, Sam Becker examines the apparent spectacular failure of self-checkout technology. Retailers introduced automated checkout facilities to save money on checkout staff, and shoppers took to it for its speed and efficiency. But both groups' views on the technology have since soured in the UK and US. According to Becker, theft; technical failures; and waiting for staff support are among the reasons cited.

Personally, I always use the self checkout facilities in Switzerland. Yes, there's the occasional problem requiring staff intervention, and always in the case of alcohol purchase. But, in the main, it's quicker than queuing up at the staffed checkout, especially if you scan your items as you go along.

When in the UK, however, I avoid it like the plague. The implementation is so annoyingly retarded. Every item has to be scanned separately, then placed in the bagging area, accompanied by that irritatingly electronic female voice instructing you…each…fucking…time. This is a real pain in the arse when you have multiples of the same item, because it slows things unnecessarily. In Switzerland, you can just scan one of your items multiple times; and the bagging area doesn't weigh the goods—or however UK checkouts keep tally—so they don't nag you about what and how many bags you're using.

I guess Switzerland works more on an honour system, which probably wouldn't fly in the UK or US, since everyone's a thieving scallywag.* I have seen handheld scanners in at least one UK supermarket, however, so perhaps there's hope after all.

If the system in the UK wasn't so user-unfriendly—and from my experience Germany's is no different, so the UK's isn't unique in that regard—I'd use it more readily. Perhaps that's the lesson for retailers wanting to realise the value of their investment: make the system more user-friendly. And come up with some other way of countering the thieving scallywags.


* Except you, dear reader, you're the salt of the earth!