Enheimer
Oscars 2024 has been and gone, accompanied by the mummers' risible lapel pin posturing. And with it my one bitter wish came true: Margot Robbie walked away empty handed. As a further slap in the face to the feminists at Beeb Towers, their favoured nom wasn't even mentioned in the ceremony's closing stages; Al Pacino cut to the chase and only announced the winner. Presumably, he figured that after three-and-a-half-hours, people had homes to go to.
Barbie wasn't entirely snubbed though. Mumbles won the best original song bauble for something nowhere near as dreary as her theme to No Time to Die.
And also on the upside, Ryan Gosling can stop feeling bad for Robbie and Greta Gerwig being snubbed
for the big noms. He too walked away empty handed, which has gotta be a huge relief for him under the circumstances. So all's well that ends well.
Wardrobe malfunction
Patrick T. Fallon/AFP
One of the supposed highlights
of the ceremony was John Cena reenacting his humiliatingly grovelling apology to China—for referring to a sovereign state as a country—this time appearing on stage dressed only in a pair of sandals. At least he had the good taste to avoid pairing them with socks.
Now rumour becomes fact, kinda. Pacino confirmed that the truncated ending was deliberate and aimed at reining in the bum-numbing runtime. But the idea came from the producers, and he hadn't gone rogue after all.