Here's the skinny
There are 53 posts tagged: the rumour mill
- Enheimer
- 11 March 2024
Oscars 2024 has been and gone, accompanied by the mummers' risible lapel pin posturing. And with it my one bitter wish came true: Margot Robbie walked away empty handed. As a further slap in the face to the feminists at Beeb Towers, their favoured nom wasn't even mentioned in the ceremony's closing stages; Al Pacino cut to the chase and only announced the winner. Presumably, he figured that after three-and-a-half-hours, people had homes to go to.
(more…)- Harry, pocketed
- 1 February 2024
Audacious thieves have stolen a 500lb, 12' stuffed polar bear, affectionately named Harry, from a resort property in Alberta, Canada. Although the resort has round-the-clock security patrols, they'd been cancelled that night due to the extreme cold. Clearly, the thieves are more dedicated to their work than the security staff.
(more…)- Racist drones
- 30 January 2024
News that three US soldiers killed in a recent drone attack in Jordan have been identified, revealed that they were all African Americans. It is unknown whether the attackers, believed to be Kataib Hezbollah, had BLM in their social media bios, but it would be rank hypocrisy if they did.
(more…)- The king and 'im
- 2 December 2023
Following a little diplomatic spat between the British and Greek prime ministers over the Elgin Marbles—or Parthenon Sculptures, I'm not sure which*—Old King Cock addressed the delegates of COP(out)28 while wearing a tie emblazoned with the Greek flag. Buckingham Palace denied it was a coded message to Rishi Sunak, suggesting instead that the choice was random.
(more…)- Chandler: 'im bada-Bing bada-boomed
- 29 October 2023
Any chances of future Friends reunions have been scuppered by the death of Matthew Perry, who played Chandler Bing, at the age of 54. He was found unresponsive in a hot tub at his house.
(more…)- The Little Merpuppy
- 3 October 2023
A six-legged spaniel puppy has been rescued after having been dumped in a supermarket car park in Pembroke Dock, Pembrokeshire, Wales. Staff at Fenton Vets named her Ariel, after Disney's little mermaid, because her additional back legs are partially fused together, resembling a mermaid's tail…
(more…)- Oh deer 🦌
- 29 September 2023
Disney is to remake another animated classic, Bambi, in live-action format for modern audiences. The writer, Lindsey Anderson Beer, explained how 1942's original treatment could be problematic or offensive to current-day sensibilities. (snowflake)
(more…)- Around the world in 80 minutes*
- 28 July 2023
Nicholas Barber presents us with ten of the best films to watch this August. He has, however, used the same approach as those pseudo bibliophiles Rebecca Laurence and Lindsay Baker when compiling their must-read lists, and turned to snippets he's found elsewhere on t'intertubes. This isn't his first waltz around the ballroom y'know.
(more…)- One path to a meet-free diet
- 28 July 2023
Bites from the lone star tick, Amblyomma americanum, have been linked to a surge in the number of Americans developing allergy to meat.
(more…)- Barbie girl
- 12 June 2023
With the impending release of Margot Robbie's latest cinematic dud, Barbie, comes the revelation that Amy Schumer was originally cast in the titular role. She eventually exited the project, because the script didn't feel
(more…)feminist and cool
enough.- Black king takes black queen
- 15 April 2023
Men self-identifying as women, and dominating their opponents in sporting competitions, is an ongoing controversy. It's widely accepted, by anyone with a modicum of knowledge and absence of emotional fragility, that boys and girls develop differently during puberty. Consequently, men who later think they're women have physical advantages over real women who've been women all their lives.
(more…)- Don't cry for me, Argentina
- 23 March 2023
What's that I hear? The distant clucking of chickens coming home to roost?
(more…)- DMCA...run!
- 14 March 2023
Disney Marvel Studios are sad. Sad that their latest entry into the MCU's pantheon, Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania, bombed harder than the raid on Dresden, 13–15 February 1945.
(more…)- A splash of body odour
- 6 March 2023
It's a fairly lightweight piece of 1200 words on (some of) the wonders of vinegar, which took only three of the BBC's crack(‑smoking) reporters to write. And Zaria Gorvett didn't mention veganism even once!
(more…)- Breaking Bard
- 9 February 2023
Google managed to wipe more than 7% off its stock value when its new AI platform, Bard, didn't perform as well as might've been expected in a recent demonstration. Asked what it could tell a nine-year-old about the James Webb Space Telescope's discoveries, it responded with it being the first to take pictures of a planet outside the earth's solar system.
(more…)- The end of a two-week era
- 9 December 2022
Stadium 974, the World Cup's first temporary stadium, will be dismantled and recycled after hosting seven matches for Qatar 2022.
(more…)- Bellended
- 17 November 2022
Glorious happenstance has led me to learn that Alex
(more…)BellendBelfield—a man with a face for radio, a voice for print, and a personality for waste disposal—was recently imprisoned for five-and-a-half years for online stalking. I hope he finds a nice shower buddy. (prick)- Stolen future
- 16 November 2022
With the announcement that he intends to run for US president in 2024, and given his magnanimity in defeat, I'm calling it now: Donald J. Trump won't lose the election; it'll be
(more…)stolen
from him. (wink)- Military cocktail
- 13 November 2022
Following his takeover of Twitter, the space cadet announced paid-for account verification. The blue check brigade lost its collective shit—it's a thing that losers on Twitter are wont to do. But it didn't take others too long to seize the opportunity for some major-league trolling.
(more…)- Lack of Trusst
- 15 October 2022
How long has Liz Truss been the UK's prime minister? Not very long.
(more…)- Poison for profit
- 8 October 2022
The WHO has released an alert against four cough syrup products linked to sixty-six infant deaths in The Gambia. When I read that the deaths had been linked to kidney injury, my immediate thought—as any student of Forensic Files will appreciate—was of ethylene glycol and/or diethylene glycol poisoning. And, upon further reading…quelle surprise!
(more…)- Careless talc costs lives
- 12 August 2022
Johnson & Johnson is to stop making and selling its legendary baby talc due to health concerns—raised in US civil litigation, natch! People who want a scapegoat's money to compensate for their disease, claim that the company's talc is contaminated with asbestos. Hence cancer.*
(more…)- Say cheese
- 28 May 2022
In Six unbelievable uses for cheese, BBC Food provides some imaginative, if not flat-out off-the-wall, uses for my favourite dairy product: as car fuel; sporting equipment; sculpture; collateral; a politcal statement; and…crime prevention. Although, in reality, that last one's a bit of a stretch.
(more…)- O-bi
- 30 April 2022
Disney continues to strip mine its IP to generate content for, and interest in, its streaming channel, Disney+. Following on from its previous Star Wars offshoots, The Mandalorian and The Book of Boba Fett, comes Obi-Wan Kenobi.
(more…)- It's not harmful if you treat it right
- 27 April 2022
Purveyor of sugar-laden shit, Kellogg's, is taking the UK government to court, over restrictions on the display of nutritionally-deficient, obesity-inducing breakfast cereals in stores.
(more…)- Skating on thin ice
- 8 February 2022
Wahey! Weibo's nationalistic shitheads are at it again. The
(more…)it
being brutally castigating their Olympians' performances, when failing to excel at things that they—the nationalistic shitheads, that is—wouldn't have a hope in hell of achieving in the first place. In particular, figure skater Zhu Yi, who fell a lot, leaving Team China out of the medals.- The peasants are revolting!
- 2 February 2022
Less than one month after their labour union was ratified, the comrades at Image Comics have filed a claim against the company for
(more…)unfair labor practices
. Grab the pitchforks andmanpersonidentity-unassumed the barricades, we're going to war!- Old man howls at moon
- 25 January 2022
Ageing rocker, Neil Young, has demanded that Spotify remove his music from its platform, in protest at podcaster Joe Rogan spreading Chongvax misinformation.
(more…)- Ho-ho-holocaust
- 21 December 2021
Pupils aged eight and nine years at Watkins Elementary School, Washington DC, were allegedly forced to re-enact events from the Holocaust, including shootings and digging mass graves. One child was given the role of Adolf Hitler to play, which presumably saved them having to act out any hard labour, although they did have to commit suicide at the end; re-anacted, I hasten to add.
(more…)- The wheelchair heist
- 1 December 2021
A 61-year-old shoplifter was shot dead by a police officer in Tuscon on Monday. Like his weapon, Officer Ryan Remington has been fired. BA-BOOM-TSCH!
(more…)- Canadabis
- 23 November 2021
A different approach to driving sales comes from Uber Eats, Canada.
(more…)- Not fast enough
- 24 October 2021
On the shooting death of Ecuadorian sprinter, Alex Quiñónez, outside a shopping centre in Guayaquil, BBC News notes that
(more…)This is the second killing of an international athlete this month.
Just over a week ago, Agnes Tirop was stabbed to death in Kenya.- A Windows on the future
- 5 October 2021
Tomorrow sees the rollout of Windows 11, as a free upgrade, to the great unwashed. That's those of us who're too apathetic, or wrapped up in having a real life, to have installed the previews.
(more…)- When Supreme Leader says 'jump'...
- 3 September 2021
It must be easy to be a dictator. All you have to do is tell your minions what to do, and they'll do it. Job done!
(more…)- Wish upon a star
- 30 June 2021
News that two collisions between a neutron star and a black hole have been recorded within ten days of each other, is accompanied by an artist's impression of what such an event might look like.
(more…)- Snow what?
- 24 June 2021
In what could be seen as just another race-bait move, Disney has cast Latina actress Rachel Zegler as Snow White in their upcoming live action remake of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Casting for characters of restricted height has yet to be announced, but it's unlikely that Ray Winstone, Toby Jones, Ian McShane et al. will be invited to reprise their roles from Snow White and the Huntsman, since that would be taking work from genuinely diminutive actors.
(more…)- Black queen
- 5 June 2021
It appears that not everyone may be enthusiastic for historical revisionism. Channel 5's Anne Boleyn, a
(more…)reimagining
of historical events leading to the execution of England's first black queen, has not been an undisputed ratings success.- Bad noose
- 22 May 2021
Construction on an Amazon warehouse in Windsor, Connecticut, has been shut down after seven nooses were found on the site in the last month.
(more…)- Privates on parade
- 20 May 2021
Yet another German terrorist plot. And, once again, under German privacy rules the suspect's surname cannot be revealed. In this case, the suspect is a military officer who's only named by the BBC as Lt Franco A.
(more…)- Crocktain America
- 25 April 2021
As Disney's production output increases to fulfil its streaming needs, its subsidiary divisions are collaborating more and more to satisfy the programming demand. They're achieving this, in part, by introducing already-established characters to other franchises.
(more…)- One of our civil servants is missing!
- 22 April 2021
A civil servant who was employed at the Ciaccio hospital in Catanzaro, Italy, has been accused of absenteeism since he started working—or not working—at a new position there in 2005. He hasn't attended work at all for fifteen years.
(more…)- The call of the wild
- 16 April 2021
The citizens of Kraków, Poland, can sleep peacefully in their beds once again.
(more…)- Roger Moore's eyebrow
- 5 October 2020
Misleading post title? Why, of course! But this does have a connection with eyebrows.
(more…)- You really couldn't make this up. But someone actually did!
- 15 July 2020
I love a good conspiracy theory, they affirm my cynicism towards secrecy and often
(more…)big government
, but the best ones have a ring of truth about them. Which is more than can be said of the Wayfair child trafficking conspiracy theory.- Let's hear it for Colonel Marvel!
- 8 March 2019
In preparation for the upcoming kinematographic release of Captain Marvel, the BBC offers a handy-dandy, need-to-know guide of Marvel Studio's latest screen superhero(ine) for the casual viewer.
(more…)- Air Force FUN!
- 28 February 2018
Hotel magnate and US President, Donald
(more…)Orange Don
Trump, has renegotiated a deal with Boeing to supply two new presidential Air Force Ones. Huh? (confused)- Hawking to appear at Glastonbury
- 13 May 2015
Prof. Stephen Hawking is to appear at this year's Glastonbury festival, as the result of a booking error. They thought they were getting Hawkwind.
- Silent running
- 26 June 2013
Drayson Racing Technologies has broken the world land speed record for a lightweight electric vehicle, with the Lola B12 69/EV. The car recorded a top speed of 328.6km/h (204.2mph) at RAF Elvington in Yorkshire. I think that it is quite pretty, in a my-wife-would-never-approve kind of way, although the range (as far as the extension cable) and luggage capacity (none) might be problematic.
(more…)- Clint Eastwood's latest starring role
- 25 June 2013
BBC News Magazine illustrates an article on travelling without passports, with a still image from Clint's current film shoot. In it, he stars as a customs and immigration officer pushed over the edge, after his passport scanner malfunctions.
(more…)- Mars attacks!
- 21 June 2013
In 2009, the UK Ministry of Defence closed its UFO desk because, according to newly released files:
(more…)it served
.no defence purpose
and was taking staff away frommore valuable defence-related activities
- Mi braynz num
- 29 August 2012
It appears that habitual cannabis use, particularly from adolescence, can result in a permanent reduction in IQ.
(more…)- Barclays' boss to resign!
- 29 June 2012
At the moment, Barclays' CEO Bob Diamond is saying that he won't resign over the lending rate fixing scandal. But we all know that when someone in this position says they won't resign, that's exactly what they do…quietly…two weeks later.
(more…)- Fred Morrison, pretender to Xena's crown
- 13 February 2010
Fred Morrison, self-styled inventor of the Frisbee, has died aged 90. He claimed to have invented the flying toy disc while playing with a tin lid with his girlfriend.
(more…)