This is my truth

Psycho

To add to my academic achievements in the fields of dentistry; surgery; mining; mineral ore extraction; alcohol toxicity; [cough] case reports, among many others, it appears that I'm shit-hot in the field of psychiatry. Heavens to betsy, who'd've thunk it? Certainly not me!

For not one, but two, invitations to share my research landed in my inbox within the space of ten minutes. Firstly, from Mike E [sic] Williams, on behalf of Psychiatry and Behavioral Health, closely followed by Anthony K for Addiction Research. Mike's even been through my recent—undisclosed—publication,* so he's clearly not shit-talking me. (no)

These learned webcomics are shat out onto the interwebz by the same publisher, if that's not too grandiose a term (it is, by the way). Despite minor differences between the two, there are significant similarities, they both clearly originate from world's centre for predatory publishing, India—the timestamp; the language of the messages; the declaration that Science Excel Online Services is a Pvt. Ltd company—and, last but not least, they both leave open questions that I need to have clarified.

Psychiatry and Behavioral Health

Received: [snip]; Tue,  8 Nov 2022 23:44:08 +0530 (IST)
Reply-To: "editor@opensciencejournals.net" <editor@opensciencejournals.net>
From: "Psychiatry and Behavioral Health" <editor@opensciencejournals.net>
Subject: Follow Up: Manuscript Submission
X-Mailer: MD V04 for [Science Excel Online Services Pvt Ltd (opensciencejournals.net)]
Sender: editor@mailer.opensciencejournals.net
Greetings!! We have been through your recent publication and with reference to that, we are pleased to suggest the "Psychiatry and Behavioral Health (ISSN: 2833-5449)" journal for your upcoming articles. Journal covers a broad spectrum of topics like psychological disorders, psychopharmacology, child and adolescent psychiatry, psychotherapy, neuropsychiatry, biological psychiatry, psychology, community psychiatry, cross-cultural psychiatry, emergency psychiatry, forensic psychiatry, psychological ailments, mental illness, mental health nursing, community nursing, learning disabilities, psychiatric nursing, sociology, health economics, public policy, and many other medical allied areas. We would be glad if you can write an article for publication in our journal. You may send the article as a reply to this email or submit it online at https://bit.ly/manuscript-submissions We look forward to working with you. Regards, Mike E Williams Managing Editor Psychiatry and Behavioral Health (ISSN: 2833-5449) To safely unsubscribe or modify your subscription settings please click here
<img src="http://mailer.opensciencejournals.net/misc/pages/email_view_count/~[snip]~" width="1" height="1" border="0" />
Dear Mike E Williams, Thank you for your invitation to publish my future research findings in the esteemed Psychiatry and Behavioral Health, which you have extended in relation to a recent publication of mine. I have many publications. In order for me to best serve your readership, and your journal's reputation, it would be very helpful if you could delineate which of them came to your attention, and why you think it's a good fit for Psychiatry and Behavioral Health. Sincerely,

Addiction Research

Received: [snip]; Tue,  8 Nov 2022 13:20:56 +0530 (IST)
Reply-To: "editor@scientificjournals.info" <editor@scientificjournals.info>
From: "Addiction Research" <editor@scientificjournals.info>
Subject: Submit your manuscript to our latest article collection
X-Mailer: MD V04 for [Science Excel Online Services Pvt Ltd (opensciencejournals.net)]
Sender: editor@mailer.opensciencejournals.net
Greetings from Addiction Research!! Hope you are doing great. We would like to invite you to contribute a paper in our journal “Addiction Research” ISSN 2639-8451. We believe that our journal will get a very good reputation in the scientific community with your valuable submission. The journal’s scope encompasses Psychology, Addiction Therapy, Addictive Disorders and related topics. We accept Research/Review/Short communication/Short commentary/Survey report towards the Upcoming Issue. Try to make your submission on or before November 25, 2022. Kindly submit your article as an attachment to addictionresearch@scivisionjournals.com or submit online (https://www.scivisionpub.com/submit-online). Kindly let us know your feasibility regarding the submission. Our journal is indexed in Google Scholar, CrossRef, CiteFactor, ROAD, Academic Resource Index (ResearchBib), Scilit (Scientific Literature), SIS (Scientific Indexing Services), ResearchGate, WorldCat, DRJI (Directory of Research Journals Indexing), Semantic Scholar. Looking forward to your kind response. Thank you very much for paying attention to us. Thanks & regards, Anthony K Journal Coordinator Addiction Research To safely unsubscribe or modify your subscription settings please click here
<img src="http://mailer.opensciencejournals.net/misc/pages/email_view_count/~[snip]~" width="1" height="1" border="0" />

What I really wanted to ask was why the fuck should I care whether his journal will get a very good reputation in the scientific community. It is, after all, just a poxy webcomic that's driven by nothing more than a desire to make a quick buck by shitting out worthless PDF detritus for money—and, in so doing, sodomising the integrity of the academic record. But I decided to keep it civil.

Dear Anthony K, I'm doing great, thank you for asking. I hope you're doing great too! Sincerely,

* My last publication was four years ago. So not that recent, really.

The skeevy Indian cunt returns. This time, my recent publication suggests that I consider Psychiatry and Behavioral Health as a beneficiary of my budget. So, back where we started in November.

My only vague experience in the field was being treated for depression, which is a whole different story. But I didn't publish my findings, so I have no idea what he's talking about, other than utter bollocks.

And, no, the sender wasn't notified by Mailtrack. I opened the message in source view so as not to activate the tracking image.

From: Mike Williams <williams@sciencejournals.co>
Date: Thu, 23 Feb 2023 13:53:02 +0530
Subject: Submit Manuscript: Psychiatry and Behavioral Health
Greetings! We have been through your recent publication and with reference to that, we are pleased to suggest Psychiatry and Behavioral Health (ISSN: 2833-5449) for your upcoming articles. We would be glad if you can write an article for publication in our journal. You may send the article as a reply to this email or submit online at https://bit.ly/manuscript-submissions We look forward to working with you. Regards Mike E Williams Managing Editor MailtrackSender notified by
Mailtrack

Japan Journal of Research

Damn! I was working through my mail and inadvertently opened Mike's message, thereby activating the tracker. Careless me!

Japan Journal of Research is such an open-ended title as to mean nothing really. And that is just what it means:

Japan Journal of Research (ISSN 2690-8077) is an open access, peer-reviewed multidisciplinary natural science journal. The journal aims to provide a significant platform for publication of research findings in variety of research areas and disseminate knowledge across the globe. This journal will be resourceful for researchers, students and everyone with keen interest in keeping a track of original research and development work in their respective fields. Journal accepts articles from the following fields: Health Sciences: Medicine, Dentistry, Nursing, Pharmacy, Toxicology, Veterinary Science, Psychology, etc. Life Sciences: Biology, Agriculture, Microbiology, Virology, Neuroscience, Biochemistry, Genetics, etc. Physical Sciences & Engineering: Chemistry, Engineering, Environmental science, Physics, Computer science, Energy, Astronomy, Mathematics, Material Science, Industrial Research, etc. Social Sciences: Arts & Humanity, Economics, Business, etc.

Japan Journal of Research

So, anything from nursing to astronomy, from agriculture to the arts. That's a pretty broad net that Mikey's casting, so it's hardly any wonder that my expertise and experience align well with the scope of his webcomic. But what was it of my research that tickled his fancy?

From: Science Excel <editor@sciencexceljournals.info>
Date: Mon, 8 May 2023 12:57:31 +0530
Subject: Share Your Expertise: Submit Your Manuscript for Publication
Dear Colleague I hope this message finds you well. We were impressed by your recent publication and we believe that your expertise and experience align well with the scope of our journal, Japan Journal of Research (ISSN 2690-8077) We would be honored if you would consider submitting an article for publication in our esteemed journal. As a respected researcher in your field, we are confident that your contribution would be invaluable to our readership. To submit your manuscript, you may simply reply to this email with the attached document or use our online submission portal at https://bit.ly/manuscript-submissions. Thank you for your time and consideration. We look forward to the opportunity to work with you and publish your valuable research. Best regards, Mike E Williams Managing Editor MailtrackSender notified by
Mailtrack
<img width="0" height="0" class="mailtrack-img" alt="" style="display:flex" src="https://mailtrack.io/trace/mail/2aafe983d9ec03f81a6d0a24f73804d51b476446.png?u=[snip]">

I don't expect a reply, let alone one that makes sense. Let's be honest, the only submissions he's interested in are the APC fees.

Date: Mon, 08 May 2023 11:22:15 +0200
Subject: Re: Share Your Expertise: Submit Your Manuscript for Publication
To: Science Excel <editor@sciencexceljournals.info>
Dear Mike Williams, Thank you for bring to my attention your journal, Japan Journal of Research. I’m flattered that you were impressed with my previous work, and consider it a good fit with your esteemed title. But which of my works was it that impressed you so much? That way, I can better suit my submissions to your needs. Sincerely,

Three weeks later, another missive from Mikey for Japan [sic] Journal of Research, using the same template as before. The only thing that's changed is the tracking token. At least it wasn't activated this time!

And it's only just occurred to me that Science Excel Journals has the same disdain for national adjectives as the BBC's editorial team. (rolleyes)

From: Science Excel <editor@sciencexceljournals.info>
Date: Tue, 30 May 2023 14:53:41 +0530
Message-ID: <CAJ5SJnFFM1wkCUxKhg=J_gCpQZ+95CXnTH53z295kK9ttcq2ug@mail.gmail.com>
Subject: Invitation to Publish Your Valuable Research in Japan Journal of Research
<img width="0" height="0" class="mailtrack-img" alt="" style="display:flex" src="https://mailtrack.io/trace/mail/11e5979cac1797b90e43ab905a69fc4c12316f89.png?u=[snip]">

No tracking image this time, but still the same old insincere flattery.

Date: Wed, 20 Sep 2023 22:05:23 +0530
From: Editor <editor@opensciencejournals.net>
Subject: Submit Manuscript for Upcoming Issue
Dear Colleague I hope this email finds you in good health and high spirits. I am writing to you on behalf of the Japan Journal of Research (ISSN 2690-8077).We have been following your previous publications with great interest and admiration for your work in the field. Given your expertise and contribution to the academic community, we would like to extend an invitation to you to contribute an article to our esteemed journal. We invite you to consider submitting a 1-2-page editorial, mini-review, commentary, or even a full research article, review, or case report on a topic of your choice that aligns with your interests and expertise. Your insights and knowledge would undoubtedly enrich our journal and contribute to the academic discourse. You may submit your manuscript by replying directly to this email and attaching it to your response. Please send your submissions to publications@scienceexcel.org. If you do not have your manuscript ready for submission at this time, we kindly request that you inform us of your proposed title and tentative submission dates so that we can plan accordingly. We highly value your potential contribution and eagerly anticipate your response. Should you have any questions or need further information, please do not hesitate to reach out to us. Thank you for considering our invitation, and we look forward to hearing from you soon. Warm regards, Mike E. Williams Managing Editor Japan Journal of Research

my inbox, showing the same message at 11:34 and 12:08Unlike Mikey Mike E Williams, Sarah JB eschews that pretending to have read my shit shit. But she's an excitable little minx, taking a dump in my inbox twice within half an hour.

Date: Fri, 23 Feb 2024 16:04:21 +0530
From: Editor <editor@opensciencejournals.org>
Subject: Submit Manuscript for Upcoming Issue
Dear [snip], I hope this email finds you well. As an esteemed researcher in your field, we are pleased to extend an invitation to you to contribute to the Japan Journal of Research (ISSN 2690-8077) with a short commentary or mini-review article showcasing your recent research findings. At Japan Journal of Research, we strive to publish high-quality articles that provide valuable insights and contribute to the advancement of knowledge in various disciplines. Your expertise and contributions would greatly enrich our publication and benefit our readership. We invite you to share a condensed version of your research in a 2-3 page commentary or mini-review format. This offers you an opportunity to highlight the key findings, significance, and potential implications of your work in a concise manner. Please submit your article as an attachment to this email at publications@scienceexcel.org. The deadline for submissions is Mar 15th, 2024. We look forward to receiving your contribution and thank you in advance for considering our invitation. Should you have any questions or need further clarification, please don't hesitate to contact us. Thank you for your attention, and we anticipate your valuable contribution. Warm regards, Sarah JB Managing Editor Japan Journal of Research
Date: Fri, 23 Feb 2024 16:38:32 +0530
From: Editor <editor@opensciencejournals.org>
Subject: Submit Manuscript for Upcoming Issue
Dear [snip], I hope this email finds you well. As an esteemed researcher in your field, we are pleased to extend an invitation to you to contribute to the Japan Journal of Research (ISSN 2690-8077) with a short commentary or mini-review article showcasing your recent research findings. At Japan Journal of Research, we strive to publish high-quality articles that provide valuable insights and contribute to the advancement of knowledge in various disciplines. Your expertise and contributions would greatly enrich our publication and benefit our readership. We invite you to share a condensed version of your research in a 2-3 page commentary or mini-review format. This offers you an opportunity to highlight the key findings, significance, and potential implications of your work in a concise manner. Please submit your article as an attachment to this email at publications@scienceexcel.org. The deadline for submissions is Mar 15th, 2024. We look forward to receiving your contribution and thank you in advance for considering our invitation. Should you have any questions or need further clarification, please don't hesitate to contact us. Thank you for your attention, and we anticipate your valuable contribution. Warm regards, Sarah JB Managing Editor Japan Journal of Research

Clinical Obstetrics and Gynecology Research

Mikey—Mike E, geddit?—Williams returns! This time, he's panhandling on behalf of Clinical Obstetrics and Gynecology Research. Or possibly Archives of Clinical Obstetrics and Gynecology Research. He doesn't seem to care, so why should we?

Anyhow, this approach is in relation to my contribution to the field of Gynecology [sic]. I'm not sure what he means. Does my having two daughters count? If so, his potential authorship base is as enormous as his barrier to entry is low. But, at $300 a pop, the revenue potential must be very enticing.

Received: [snip]; Wed, 16 Nov 2022 14:24:25 +0530 (IST)
Reply-To: "editor@opensciencejournals.net" <editor@opensciencejournals.net>
From: "Clinical Obstetrics and Gynecology Research" <editor@opensciencejournals.net>
Subject: Article Submission- Let us Know your Possibility
Hope this email finds you well!! Considering your contribution to the field of Gynecology, we would like to invite you to submit your next article for publication in the upcoming issue of the journal. We request you to write a short note on your current project/trial that will be great to publish (1-2 page editorial/mini-review/commentary) or you can submit a research article/review/case report. You may submit your manuscript online or as a direct reply to this email as an attachment to email at publications@scienceexcel.org on or before November 25, 2022, to publish in the Upcoming Issue of the journal. The publication charges for the articles received on or before November 25, 2022, will be USD 300 only if the article is accepted for publication. If you do not have your manuscript ready for submission, kindly inform us of the proposed title and tentative dates of your submission. We look forward to your response. Thanks & Regards Mike E Williams Managing Editor Archives of Clinical Obstetrics and Gynecology Research To safely unsubscribe or modify your subscription settings please click here
<img src="http://mailer.opensciencejournals.net/misc/pages/email_view_count/~[snip]~" width="1" height="1" border="0" />

I received the identical message from Mikey as I did two weeks ago, including the general ambivalence as to his webcomic's title. Identical, that is, except for the deadline having been extended, presumably for us laggards:

The publication charges for the articles received on or before December 15, 2022, will be USD 300 only if the article is accepted for publication.

A cynic might interpret this as a year-'round sale. Either that, or a cunning ambiguity in punctuation: …USD 300, only if… suggests a special price if the deadline is met and the article accepted; …USD 300 only, if… suggests $300 is the standard low price.

Medicine and Clinical Science

And that year-'round fire sale continues, this time from Sarah J Beasley in the name of Medicine and Clinical Science. The one thing that occurs to me is that all of these journals, and their respective managing editors, have only one and the same reply address. Whoever it is must be working their tits off just fielding all the replies. I really shouldn't add to their burden, so I'll do just that.

Received: [snip]; Tue,  6 Dec 2022 01:28:22 +0530 (IST)
Reply-To: "editor@opensciencejournals.net" <editor@opensciencejournals.net>
From: "Medicine and Clinical Science" <editor@opensciencejournals.net>
Subject: Follow Up: Submissions Open - Volume 5
Hope this e-mail finds you well. With reference to your previous publications, we request you to contribute an article to our Medicine and Clinical Science (ISSN: 2690-5191) Journal. Medicine and Clinical Science is an open-access journal interested in original research, basic, translation, and application in any area of scientific importance. We would be grateful if you could kindly write a 1-2-page editorial/mini-review/commentary or you can submit a research article/review/case report on any of your interested topics. You may submit your manuscript online or as a direct reply to this email as an attachment to email at publications@scienceexcel.org on or before December 15, 2022. If you do not have your manuscript ready for submission, kindly inform us of the proposed title and tentative dates of your submission. The publication charges for the articles received on or before December 15, 2022, will be USD 300 only if the article is accepted for publication. Looking forward to hearing from you soon. Thanks & Regards, Sarah J Beasley Managing Editor, MCS
<img src="http://mailer.opensciencejournals.net/misc/pages/email_view_count/~[snip]~" width="1" height="1" border="0" />
Dear Sarah Beasley, Thank you for your invitation to publish my work in your esteemed journal, Medicine and Clinical Science. It is much appreciated. My previous publications cover a variety of subjects. Which of them have most particularly come to your attention? Sincerely,

A full two weeks have passed, and Beasley's back. This time, without the time-unlimited offer of only $300 for her to shit my shit onto the web.

Received: [snip]; Wed, 21 Dec 2022 01:21:25 +0530 (IST)
Reply-To: "editor@opensciencejournals.net" <editor@opensciencejournals.net>
From: "Medicine and Clinical Science" <editor@opensciencejournals.net>
Subject: Follow Up: Submissions Open - Volume 5
Hope this e-mail finds you well. With reference to your previous publications, we request you to contribute an article to our Medicine and Clinical Science (ISSN: 2690-5191) Journal. Medicine and Clinical Science is an open-access journal interested in original research, basic, translation, and application in any area of scientific importance. We would be grateful if you could kindly write a 1-2-page editorial/mini-review/commentary or you can submit a research article/review/case report on any of your interested topics. You may submit your manuscript online or as a direct reply to this email as an attachment to email at publications@scienceexcel.org on or before December 29, 2022. If you do not have your manuscript ready for submission, kindly inform us of the proposed title and tentative dates of your submission. Looking forward to hearing from you soon. Thanks & Regards, Sarah J Beasley Managing Editor, MCS To safely unsubscribe or modify your subscription settings please click here
<img src="http://mailer.opensciencejournals.net/misc/pages/email_view_count/~[snip]~" width="1" height="1" border="0" />

Mikey returns, this time taking over from Sarah and pimping Medicine and Clinical Science (ISSN: 2690-5191). I don't think I actually expressed an interest in wasting my non-existent valuable research with MCS per se, so much as sought clarification that was never forthcoming.

Anyhow, I opened his message and activated the tracker, so he knows it's been read. Now, to delete it without reply. Just to keep him on his toes.

Happy holidays, Mikey! (middlefinger)

From: Mike Williams <williams@sciencejournals.co>
Date: Fri, 23 Dec 2022 12:53:05 +0530
Subject: Reminder Manuscript Submission: MCS
Greetings!! This is to remind you regarding the submission of your manuscript to the journal " Medicine and Clinical Science (ISSN: 2690-5191) ". As per your previous email, you have shown interest in submitting the article for publication in " Medicine and Clinical Science (ISSN: 2690-5191) ", So I take the liberty to remind you. Kindly submit your manuscript at the earliest convenience. Please feel free to contact for queries. Regards Mike E Williams Managing Editor Medicine and Clinical Science (ISSN: 2690-5191) Sender notified by MailtrackSender notified by
Mailtrack
<img width="0" height="0" class="mailtrack-img" alt="" style="display:flex" src="https://mailtrack.io/trace/mail/6599d7c336d5b63805f70f9f4f090ce4c42b8dc3.png?u=[snip]>

Mikey and Sarah seem to be operating some sort of tag team here, for the bitch is back. I'm still upset—not really—that she ignored my perfectly reasonable request, so now's the time to let her know how I truly feel. She just cannot treat us researchers like this. Sob. (wink)

Received: [snip]; Mon, 26 Dec 2022 17:29:29 +0530 (IST)
Reply-To: "editor@opensciencejournals.net" <editor@opensciencejournals.net>
From: "Medicine and Clinical Science" <editor@opensciencejournals.net>
Subject: Follow Up: Submissions Open - Volume 5
Dear Researcher, Hope this e-mail finds you well. With reference to your previous publications, we request you to contribute an article to our Medicine and Clinical Science (ISSN: 2690-5191) Journal. Medicine and Clinical Science is an open-access journal interested in original research, basic, translation, and application in any area of scientific importance. We would be grateful if you could kindly write a 1-2-page editorial/mini-review/commentary or you can submit a research article/review/case report on any of your interested topics. You may submit your manuscript online or as a direct reply to this email as an attachment to email at publications@scienceexcel.org on or before January 10, 2023. The publication charges for the articles received on or before January 10, 2023, will be USD 300 only if the article is accepted for publication. If you do not have your manuscript ready for submission, kindly inform us of the proposed title and tentative dates of your submission. Looking forward to hearing from you soon. Thanks & Regards, Sarah J Beasley Managing Editor, MCS
<img src="http://mailer.opensciencejournals.net/misc/pages/email_view_count/~[snip]~" width="1" height="1" border="0" />
Dear Sarah J Beasley, Since you didn't have the common decency to reply to my previous message, why the hell should I waste my time with you and your journal? Goodbye! Sincerely, Researcher

Sarah Beasley first approached me on 06.12.2022, grubbing around for submissions to volume 5 of Medicine and Clinical Science. At that time, the deadline for submission was 15 December.

New year, old news. She's still pimping volume 5, but now the deadline's been extended to the end of this month. It seems that the previous bad blood between us is all forgotten, at least by her. So, perhaps it's time to try again!

Received: [snip]; Tue, 17 Jan 2023 18:18:09 +0530 (IST)
Reply-To: "editor@opensciencejournals.net" <editor@opensciencejournals.net>
From: "Medicine and Clinical Science" <editor@opensciencejournals.net>
Subject: Follow Up: Submissions Open - Volume 5
Hope this e-mail finds you well. With reference to your previous publications, we request you to contribute an article to our Medicine and Clinical Science (ISSN: 2690-5191) Journal. Medicine and Clinical Science is an open-access journal interested in original research, basic, translation, and application in any area of scientific importance. We would be grateful if you could kindly write a 1-2-page editorial/mini-review/commentary or you can submit a research article/review/case report on any of your interested topics. You may submit your manuscript online or as a direct reply to this email as an attachment to email at publications@scienceexcel.org on or before January 30, 2023, to publish in the upcoming issue of Volume 5. If you do not have your manuscript ready for submission, kindly inform us of the proposed title and tentative dates of your submission. Looking forward to hearing from you soon. Thanks & Regards, Sarah J Beasley Managing Editor, MCS To safely unsubscribe or modify your subscription settings please click here
<img src="http://mailer.opensciencejournals.net/misc/pages/email_view_count/~[snip]~" width="1" height="1" border="0" />
Dear Sarah Beasley, Thank you for your invitation to publish my work in your esteemed journal, Medicine and Clinical Science. It is much appreciated. My previous publications cover a variety of subjects. Which of them have most particularly come to your attention? Sincerely,

Rather than answering my enquiry, largely because she cannot, Sarah instead extends the deadline for my non-submission to volume 5 by a couple of weeks. Perhaps she thinks she's wearing me down. (shrug)

Received: [snip]; Sat, 28 Jan 2023 19:13:31 +0530 (IST)
Reply-To: "editor@opensciencejournals.net" <editor@opensciencejournals.net>
From: "Medicine and Clinical Science" <editor@opensciencejournals.net>
Subject: Follow Up: Submissions Open - Volume 5
Hope this e-mail finds you well. With reference to your previous publications, we request you to contribute an article to our Medicine and Clinical Science (ISSN: 2690-5191) Journal. Medicine and Clinical Science is an open-access journal interested in original research, basic, translation, and application in any area of scientific importance. We would be grateful if you could kindly write a 1-2-page editorial/mini-review/commentary or you can submit a research article/review/case report on any of your interested topics. You may submit your manuscript online or as a direct reply to this email as an attachment to email at publications@scienceexcel.org on or before February 10, 2023, to publish in the upcoming issue of Volume 5. If you do not have your manuscript ready for submission, kindly inform us of the proposed title and tentative dates of your submission. Looking forward to hearing from you soon. Thanks & Regards, Sarah J Beasley Managing Editor, MCS To safely unsubscribe or modify your subscription settings please click here
<img src="http://mailer.opensciencejournals.net/misc/pages/email_view_count/~[snip]~" width="1" height="1" border="0" />

Beastly's back. Whether she's whoring in Hyderabad, or bed-banging in Bengaluru, she's still plugging the same upcoming issue of volume 5 of her webcomic. The 10th of February came and went, so the deadline for submission has been extended, again.

I'm getting the impression that this issue of MCS volume 5 isn't too popular, because the special offer incentive on publication costs has returned. I thought I'd offer her a little encouragement, all the same.

Received: from localhost.localdomain (mail.mailserve.net [43.227.17.61])
	by email4.opensciencejournals.net (Postfix) with ESMTP id 75BC8154B979
	[snip]; Tue, 28 Feb 2023 16:50:00 +0530 (IST)
Reply-To: "editor@opensciencejournals.net" <editor@opensciencejournals.net>
From: "Medicine and Clinical Science" <editor@opensciencejournals.net>
Subject: 2nd Follow Up: Submissions Open - Volume 5
Date: Tue, 28 Feb 2023 12:34:36 +0100
Hope this e-mail finds you well. With reference to your previous publications, we request you to contribute an article to our Medicine and Clinical Science (ISSN: 2690-5191) Journal. Medicine and Clinical Science is an open-access journal interested in original research, basic, translation, and application in any area of scientific importance. We would be grateful if you could kindly write a 1-2-page editorial/mini-review/commentary or you can submit a research article/review/case report on any of your interested topics. You may submit your manuscript online or as a direct reply to this email as an attachment to email at publications@scienceexcel.org on or before March 10, 2023, to publish in the upcoming issue of Volume 5. The publication charges for the articles received on or before March 10, 2023, will be USD 399 only if the article is accepted for publication. If you do not have your manuscript ready for submission, kindly inform us of the proposed title and tentative dates of your submission. Looking forward to hearing from you soon. Thanks & Regards, Sarah J Beasley Managing Editor, MCS To safely unsubscribe or modify your subscription settings please click here
<img src="http://mailer.opensciencejournals.net/misc/pages/email_view_count/~[snip]~" width="1" height="1" border="0" />

The answer is probably sometime in December. Volume 5 has a long way to go.

Dear Sarah Beasley, I do wish you good luck in completing volume 5, so that we can get on to volume 6. Do you have an expected time when the new volume will start taking submissions? Sincerely,

Ask Sarah—or Sandhya—a less challenging question than what it is about your previous publications she thought was relevant to MCS, and you get a response. Fancy that! She seems, however, to have misinterpreted my piss-take as interest in flushing my manuscript—not that I have one—down her particular khazi.

MailDirect logo MailServe logo

Comparing the partial email headers between this message and her previous one is enlightening though. Note how her earlier message was received by a mail server in the IST time zone, but dated in CET? This time, both occurred in IST.* The earlier server IP address resolves to MailDirect; this time, it resolves to MailServe. Both are owned by QuantumLink Communications Pvt. Ltd, an Indian direct marketing company; even their logos are similar.

I don't know enough about email distribution to conclude whether QLC maintains servers physically in different time zones, or in the same location but set to different time zones. The latter would be far cheaper and easier to establish and maintain. Either way, it all reeks of skeevy Indian money-grubbers. Prove me wrong!

Received: from anywheremail.qlc.co.in (master-db2.qlc.co.in [192.168.1.44])
	(Authenticated sender: editor@opensciencejournals.net)
	[snip]; Tue, 28 Feb 2023 23:00:00 +0530 (IST)
Date: Tue, 28 Feb 2023 23:00:00 +0530
From: Editor <editor@opensciencejournals.net>
Subject: Re: 2nd Follow Up: Submissions Open - Volume 5
Organization: Science Excel Online Services Pvt Ltd (opensciencejournals.net)
X-Priority: 1 (Highest)
Thank you for your kind response. We are accepting submissions for volume 5 issue 2 of the journal and would be glad to extend the date of submission for you. Kindly let us know the possible date of submission such that we could check if your submission would fit into issue 2 or 3 of the journal. Awaiting your kind response. Regards Sarah J Beasley Managing Editor, MCS

While spellchecking khazi, I was reminded that another synonym for toilet is thunderbox. It made me laugh, because I recalled my grandfather using that same term when I was a kid.

* I noted similar behaviour with Minea Lepisto's email. Same shtick, different spammer.

Archives of Clinical Obstetrics and Gynecology Research

Mikey returns, although this time it's for Archives of Clinical Obstetrics and Gynecology Research, not Medicine and Clinical Science. So much has happened in so little time, it seems almost impossible that he last reached out to me on 28.11.2022. Everything since has been on behalf of MCS.

But it's reassuring to know that some things never change. And Mikey's still ambivalent as to whether his webcomic's an archive or not. Perhaps it's not that important,* but I think it's worth clarifying. (shrug)

Received: [snip]; Mon,  9 Jan 2023 15:17:34 +0530 (IST)
Reply-To: "editor@opensciencejournals.net" <editor@opensciencejournals.net>
From: "Clinical Obstetrics and Gynecology Research" <editor@opensciencejournals.net>
Subject: With reference to your research work
Greetings!! Archives of Clinical Obstetrics and Gynecology Research (ISSN 2768-0304) is open access, peer-reviewed journal, which aims to publish data from basic to the latest scientific advances in the fields of Gynecology and Obstetrics. Considering your expertise in the field, we would like to invite you to submit your next article for publication in the upcoming issue of the journal. You can submit a full-length article, or you can also submit a 1-2-page editorial/mini-review/commentary/case report on your current research. You may submit your manuscript online or as a direct reply to this email as an attachment to email at publications@scienceexcel.org on or before January 25, 2023, to publish in the Upcoming Issue of the journal. If you do not have your manuscript ready for submission, kindly inform us of the proposed title and tentative dates of your submission. Look forward to a long-lasting scientific relationship. Warm Regards, Mike E Williams Managing Editor, ACOGR To safely unsubscribe or modify your subscription settings please click here
<img src="http://mailer.opensciencejournals.net/misc/pages/email_view_count/~[snip]~" width="1" height="1" border="0" />
Dear Mike E Williams, Is your journal Archives of Clinical Obstetrics and Gynecology [sic] Research or Clinical Obstetrics and Gynecology [sic] Research? Sincerely,

* It is, or should be, but Mikey doesn't seem to think so.

So it's ACOGR, not COGR, after all.

Date: Tue, 10 Jan 2023 21:08:45 +0530
From: Editor <editor@opensciencejournals.net>
Subject: Re: With reference to your research work
As per your query, we would like to inform you that our journal title is "Archives of Clinical Obstetrics and Gynecology Research". Kindly submit your manuscript at the earliest convenience. Regards Mike E Williams Managing Editor, ACOGR
Oh that's great, thanks for the clarification. It's just that your email header only gives Clinical Obstetrics and Gynecology [sic] Research. Sincerely,

Immunology, Pathology, and Laboratory Medicine

Mikey's returned, but this time touting a completely new webcomic entitled Immunology, Pathology, and Laboratory Medicine. Often, these boneheads quote one of my most recent publications—which still dates back over four years—to engender my enthusiasm for submitting my current research—none—to them. This is even when the work in question doesn't match with the scope of the comic in question.

But Mikey's hittin' it outta da park here. His comic's scope covers three fields, none of which are relevant to the cited publication. This guy is clearly either utterly clueless, or utterly desperate. Or utterly both.

Received: [snip]; Thu, 12 Jan 2023 22:01:14 +0530 (IST)
Reply-To: "editor@opensciencejournals.net" <editor@opensciencejournals.net>
From: "Immunology, Pathology, and Laboratory Medicine" <editor@opensciencejournals.net>
Subject: With reference to your research work
Ref: "[completely irrelevant to the fields of immunology, pathology, and laboratory medicine]" Greetings!! Immunology, Pathology, and Laboratory Medicine is an open-access journal that is a novel platform for scientists and clinicians working in different areas of immunology, clinical pathology, and laboratory medicine. Journal is focused to provide readers with a broad spectrum of scholarly articles related to immunology, chemical pathology, hematopathology, anatomical pathology, neuropathology, diagnosis techniques used for pathological analysis such as biochemical analysis, histology, cytology, serology, surgical pathology, anatomical pathology, clinical pathology, pathological analysis, disease diagnosis, molecular pathology, laboratory medicine, experimental-pathology, cytology, cytopathology, histology, histopathology, immunopathology, investigative pathology, diagnostic pathology, and many other medical allied areas. Considering your expertise in the field, we would like to invite you to submit your next article for publication in the upcoming issue of the journal. You can submit a full-length article, or you can also submit a 1-2-page editorial/mini-review/commentary/case report on your current research. You may submit your manuscript online or as a direct reply to this email as an attachment to email at publications@scienceexcel.org on or before January 25, 2023, to publish in the Upcoming Issue of the journal. If you do not have your manuscript ready for submission, kindly inform us of the proposed title and tentative dates of your submission. Look forward to a long-lasting scientific relationship. Warm Regards, Mike E Williams Managing Editor To safely unsubscribe or modify your subscription settings please click here
<img src="http://mailer.opensciencejournals.net/misc/pages/email_view_count/~[snip]~" width="1" height="1" border="0" />

Journal of Acute Care & Trauma Surgery

Mikey returns! And today it's on behalf of the inaugural issue of Journal of Acute Care & Trauma Surgery. I feel honoured to be asked to submit my humble work for such an auspicious event. The publication charge is only $199, compared to $300 for ACOGR and MCS; I guess that's the inaugural benefit.

On the other hand, anyone who's followed any of this shit here won't be at all surprised to learn that I know fuck all about acute care and trauma surgery…other than as a patient, that is. So it's puzzling, although hardly surprising, that this solicitation is made in response to my previous publications and expertise in the field. Mikey's so full of shit he must be constipated.

Received: [snip]; Wed,  1 Feb 2023 20:28:18 +0530 (IST)
Reply-To: "editor@opensciencejournals.net" <editor@opensciencejournals.net>
From: "Acute Care and Trauma Surgery" <editor@opensciencejournals.net>
Subject: Submissions Open - Inaugural Issue
Hope this e-mail finds you well. With reference to your previous publications and expertise in the field, we request you to contribute an article to our Journal of Acute Care & Trauma Surgery. Journal of Acute Care & Trauma Surgery is an international, peer-reviewed, open-access journal, that provides a platform for modern, cutting-edge research to provide the scientific basis to optimize care patient care with special consideration to trauma, critical care, and emergency surgery. We would be grateful if you could kindly write a 1-2-page editorial/mini-review/commentary or you can submit a research article/review/case report on any of your interested topics. You may submit your manuscript online or as a direct reply to this email as an attachment to email at publications@scienceexcel.org on or before February 15, 2023, to publish in the Inaugural Issue of the journal. The publication charges for the articles received on or before February 15, 2023, will be USD 199 only if the article is accepted for publication. If you do not have your manuscript ready for submission, kindly inform us of the proposed title and tentative dates of your submission. Looking forward to hearing from you soon. Thanks & Regards, Mike E Williams Managing Editor To safely unsubscribe or modify your subscription settings please click here
<img src="http://mailer.opensciencejournals.net/misc/pages/email_view_count/~[snip]~" width="1" height="1" border="0" />

Short and to the point, for I have other things to do:

I would ask you what publications of mine represent expertise in the field of acute care and trauma surgery, but I know that there’s no answer to that, and you’re just spamming a shitlist. So fuck off you Indian cunt.