Buzz cut
Disney's drive to mine its past creative heights, in place of anything truly original, continues unbounded. This time, it's the turn of Pixar's Toy Story franchise to give it up
for the House of Mouse. Lightyear is the origins story behind the toy voiced by Tim Allen. And it's the film that Andy watched in the early '90s, that made him covet his very own Buzz Lightyear toy.
When Disney inevitably subverted expectations, again, with a same-sex family and same-sex kiss, again—how many times do they have to do this before it stops being stunning and brave
?—conservatives and Christians lost their collective shit. Oh, and Islamic nations banned its release in their markets. Who'd've thunk it?
Thus, the most significant intimate character moment in Lightyear is when a woman snogs her partner who identifies as absent membrum virile. And this occurs in what is ostensibly a child-appropriate space adventure film made in the mid-'80s.
Lightyear opens with: In 1995 Andy got a toy. That toy is from his favorite movie. This is that movie.
Except it can't be; the inclusion of a same-sex relationship and kiss is incongruous to that narrative. As far as I'm aware, the only films from that era featuring girl-on-girl action…well, let's just say they wouldn't have been wearing much in the way of clothing. And Andy wouldn't have been watching; at least, I don't think so…his mother didn't seem particularly unconventional or permissive. Besides, any toy named Buzz
released as a tie-in wouldn't have been marketed at kids! So, why add a plot point that can only contradict the film's stated reality?
Obviously, the lesbians were trotted out to make a political statement, rather than further the story; otherwise, Buzz could've learnt the importance of loving relationships in a manner more in keeping with the period. Hence, current-day virtue signalling betrays Lightyear's conceit, through the logical fallacy that it introduces into what is supposed to be an almost forty-year-old film. Don't any of the creatives at Disney Pixar think this continuity shit through, while they're joining the dots with their crayons? (SMH)
There comes a point when representation becomes forced and over-representative, when DivErSitY AnD InCLuSiOn
™ becomes simply an ideological checkbox item to be applied, irrespective of authenticity. But Disney doesn't seem to understand the concept of less-is-more. Everything has to push the accepted sociopolitical message, rather than follow an organic path to entertaining the audience. Simple, straightforward entertainment that delivers on what it promises, what a crazy concept, huh?
For his part, Chris Evans, the star of Lightyear, staked his claim to the moral high ground, condemning critics of the homosexual kiss as idiots
who'll eventually die off: the goal is to pay them no mind, march forward and embrace the growth that makes us human.
This comes from someone in the pay of a company that's (indirectly) complicit in atrocities committed against a minority lacking the alphabet soupers' clout, and who is, presumably, okay with that. I guess Disney and its lackeys will use their soapbox in the cause of the awokening
, as long as it doesn't compromise President Pooh's [cough] re-education
policies. So, yeah Chris; whatever you say, champ. (rolleyes)
Anyhow, Disney's standing firm on the issue: the kiss is in, and it's staying in, no matter what. It's not going to be removed, not even to appease China. If they don't want the lesbians, they can't have Lightyear.
At least that was the case, when the film was projected to rake in over $100M in its first weekend at the US box office. Those initial predictions were later adjusted down to $70–80M. So, its actual opening weekend of just $51M, and global total of $85.6M, must've come as sombre and thought-provoking news to the suits at Disney.
Let's see how resolute they are, in the face of disappointing box office returns. After all, what it finally comes down to is this simple fact: pandering is ephemeral, but money is always money.
Commentators and critics have attributed several explanations to Lightyear's poor box office performance. Firstly, politics: the homosexual kiss and, more broadly, a perceived attack on the traditional family and fatherhood, in what is supposed to be a children's film which was released, ironically enough, over the Father's Day weekend. Secondly, the absence of Tim Allen in the lead role; although it could be argued in his favour that he dodged a bullet. Thirdly, confusion about the film's relevance to a franchise that's hardly in the mainstream consciousness in the first place.
Actually, however, it appears that Lightyear just isn't that good; the story itself being implausible, confusing, repetitive, and boring. Hardly the stuff to fire a boy's imagination, and further contradicting the film's premise.
Whatever escapades young Andy imagined in 1995 when he was playing with his Space Ranger toy, they were bound to be more fun than this one. ★★☆☆☆
Nicholas Barber, Lightyear review: 'A frustratingly slow, melancholy drama', BBC Culture
Whatever. Anything that loses money for Disney is fine by me.
[ dances the DIE DISMAL DISNEY dance ]
Note to reader: As you read this, you might be inclined to think of me as a homophobe. If so, then that would be unfair. I'm an ordinary guy who doesn't hate on anyone who just wants to live their best life. Unless their best life is that of serial killer, child abuser, or sexual predator.
I'm all for acceptance and tolerance. And I have no problem with a little girl-on-girl action in the right context. But I'm also weary of Hollywoke's continual messaging and grandstanding over identity politics.
There is, certainly, a right
way to achieve representation, when it's in keeping with the narrative rather than contradictory to it. It's just unfortunate that some quarters within the entertainment industry appear neither willing and able to expend the effort to make it work seamlessly, nor respectful of what's gone before. What we get instead is the message
shoved ham-fistedly down our throats at seemingly every opportunity.
We're not all homophobes and bigots; we can appreciate progression and representation when it's done sympathetically. But the primary role of the entertainment industry is to entertain.
Disney stuck to their guns. The kiss stayed in and Lightyear was not released in China. So stunning, much brave. (slowhandclap)
And, according to Deadline's Box Office Editor, Anthony D'Alessandro, it earned the company a heroic loss of $106M. That includes an estimated revenue of $95M from television and streaming though. Since Disney limits streaming of its films to Disney+, this simply amounts to internal cash flow. So the actual loss to the company as a whole could be as high as $200M.
I feel like dancing…