Will this madness never end?

Hey, I don't want no trouble

There are 19 posts tagged: how not to win

How not to win friends and influence people
9 February 2024

An axe- and knife-wielding Iranian asylum-seeker, who took fifteen passengers and a train driver hostage, was shot dead when Swiss police stormed the train and he attacked them. All hostages were released unharmed.

A night at the Oprah
10 January 2024

There really is one born every minute, and Indian fraudsters don't just prey on gullible westerners. Oh no, there are plenty of their own citizens who're uneducated, credulous, or desperate enough to fall for the most ludicrous of scams. In this case, working as a stud.

Mx Universe: tH3 PaTriArchY will not accept failure in 2024
13 December 2023

Agent Jakrajutatip's failure to secure control of the Miss Universe pageant has allowed a real, biologically-relevant woman to win the title this year, over our two brothers-in-arms. Or should I say brothers-in-vaginoplasty?

Arse acher
6 November 2023

LucasFilm has destroyed several beloved franchises under Kathleen Kennedy's leadership. I say that without malice, since I've had no real interest in any of Star Wars; Indiana Jones; or Willow, for which I consider myself lucky. Others have not been as fortunate, and have seen their beloved franchises sodomised and dragged through the mud.

People in glass houses…
27 September 2023

GB News has suspended Laurence Fox after he asked, on air, what self-respecting man would climb into bed with PoliticsJOE reporter Ava Evans.

Heads will roll
11 August 2023

Shocking news from Southern Regional Medical Center—not Southern Regional Hospital [sic] as Ruth Comerford would have us believe—in Georgia. During a difficult birth that took place there, obstetrician Dr Tracey St Julian is alleged to have used such force that she decapitated the baby. Yeuch!

Zooming back to the office
7 August 2023

Zoom is showing the way forward, and its faith in video conferencing as a productivity tool for remote working, by ordering its workers back to the office.

Return to the grid
27 July 2023

The tragic deaths of three family members, who perished from malnutrition during the harsh Coloradan winter as they tried to live off grid, have only served to bring them back on grid bigger than before; courtesy of the news coverage. Oops!

Tail wagging the dog
17 December 2021

We're having a problem at work with one of our vendors. Or, rather, InstantlyForgettableNameCorp's admin are having a problem with one of our vendors' admin. I can't pretend that I understand it, because I've been excluded from the discussions.

'X' for Latina
13 December 2021

For some inexplicable reason, there's a remake of West Side Story, for anyone who considers the 1961 classic to be somehow inadequate. I wasn't aware that this was something that the world had been clamouring for. Neither were cinema audiences, it seems, who stayed away in droves when it debuted last weekend: Steven Spielberg's effort hasn't performed sensationally at the box office.

When 'yes' means 'no'
19 November 2021

According to David Robson, for BBC Worklife, people are more likely to comply with requests for assistance, through fear of disagreement otherwise. All very psychological.

If you can't get it right, do it wrong
11 February 2021

I don't know whether to file this under idiot cheats or idiot editors, so I'll tag it with both.

The deer hunter
25 October 2019

Thomas Alexander was hunting deer near the Orzak mountains in Arkansas when he shot and felled a buck. When he approached the animal to check that it was dead, it stood up and gored him. Mr Alexander was later declared deceased.

Heart of stone
23 March 2018

One week after toy supermarket Toys'R'Us announced that it would close all UK and US stores and enter bankruptcy protection, its founder Charles Lazarus died at the age of 94. A touching coincidence.

Let's go with plan B
20 November 2016

As a general rule, gloating at someone else's personal failure is not a good look; schadenfreude is pretty mean-spirited without context. There are exceptions, however, and Elizabeth Holmes is one of mine.

Do US officials know what they're talking about?
21 August 2013

Private First Class Bradley Manning, who was convicted of charges including espionage after leaking US military secrets to Wikileaks, has been sentenced to thirty five years in prison. The items that he leaked included video of a US Apache helicopter killing civilians in Baghdad.

Please, no Morsi
3 July 2013

In the face of escalating hostility a defiant Mohammed Morsi has stated that he will not step down as Egypt's president, and that he would give his life to defend constitutional legitimacy.

A challenging question?
24 June 2013

The BBC's The Editors is a programme which sets out to ask challenging questions. The challenging question that John Simpson posed was no less than What has happened to the French joie de vivre?

May I have my job back? Pretty please?
23 August 2010

A former senior Filipino police inspector, Rolando Mendoza, has allegedly taken a bus full of hostages in Manila, in an attempt to regain the job that he lost in 2008 following allegations of robbery, extortion, and drug-related crimes.