The drains have backed up again

I could get into trouble for this

There are 62 posts tagged: wit & wisdom of the comments section

They come as a pair
17 April 2024

What's actually worse: quoting the Daily Fail; quoting Page Sex; or quoting Page Sex quoting the Daily Fail? Because, if it's the third, here we go!

15 February 2024

I never saw House M.D. when it was broadcast, but I've been watching clips on the Tube of You. If it's anything to go by—unlikely, this is a TV show after all—the work of a hospital diagnostics team boils down to throwing around a bunch of long disease names, and then treating the patient for everything in the hope that, like slinging shit against a wall, something will stick. Job's a good 'un. (thumbup)

AI commentary
26 January 2024

Following its acquisition of game studio Activision Blizzard, and in the light of wider market pressures, Micro$oft is rightsizing its video gaming division, at the cost of 1,900 jobs.

Nom nom nom
24 January 2024

Another BBC report on the Oscars' nominations brings to our attention, yet again, that Margot Robbie and Greta Gerwig were cruelly snubbed for their work on Barbie where it matters most, the big noms that recieve the goodie bag. And its entertainment reporter, Steven I'm really a feminist, please can I have a shag? McIntosh, is all over the inequality. Or inequity. Or PaTriArchY aNd MisOGyNy™. Or whatever the hell.

101 damnations
27 December 2023

Well, well, well! The communards of the People's Republic of Portland Place are facing up to the fact that the awoken of The Walt Disney Company have not had a wildly successful 2023 at the box office. Only one of Disney's six cinematic releases this year—Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3—turned a modest profit, while others bombed, some of them spectacularly. Nicholas Barber does his best to analyse the Mouse House's cinematic performance, without actually apportioning too much of the credit blame to the Burbank Bastards themselves. Or, at least, to their sociopolitics.

Two-tier X
22 October 2023

Elon Musk's X will launch two subscription tiers: one with ads, and a more expensive one without them.

Robyn Hood
9 October 2023

There's a Canadian remake—or reimagining, who knows?—of the legend of Robin Hood currently on screens somewhere. Retitled Robyn Hood, it features a black LGBTQIABC+FLAPFLAPFLAP female lead, naturally, with a hip-hop band called The Hood as her/they's merrie men people, living in the Sherwood and Forest tower block estates within the fictional Canadian city of New Nottingham. I think that's close enough.

Needs a better acting coach
9 October 2023

From the Dark is an indie horror film released in 2020. According to reviews on IMDb, it's not very good, with a user rating of 2.5. One reviewer cautioned to ignore the good reviews: They are obviously being written by friends and family of the cast and crew. As if that would ever happen!

Marianna unsprung
2 October 2023

I've mocked the often self-serving grift of the BBC's social media and disinformation correspondent, Marianna Spring, on several occasions. But Spiked's Tom Slater takes a deeper dive, and does a more thorough job of calling out her hubris in Marianna Spring: the BBC’s misinformation merchant.

Amber's number 1 fan*
22 September 2023

After wandering the cinematic wilderness, as a Hollywood outcast following her loss in Johnny Depp's defamation lawsuit, Amber Heard is set to return to someone's screen in upcoming indie film In The Fire. It's being released simultaneously in theatres, on digital, and on demand; which, in the post-pandemic theatrical landscape, is not a sign of high expectations for its box office performance.

An incredible home no more?
13 September 2023

A Grade II-listed Georgian house in Windsor, which was home to UK TV and radio presenter Chris Evans, is on the market for a none-too-paltry £4M. This is presumably meant to be of some interest to the denizens of Warrington, Evans' birthplace, as Lois Dean describes to the Warrington Guardian's readers the Former incredible home of Warrington-born Chris Evans.

F*c*book is harmless. Honest!
9 August 2023

A study conducted by the Oxford Internet Institute suggests that using Facebook is not linked to widespread psychological harm. Oh yes, indeed. And you know you can trust the findings, because they said so. (no)

Please sir, I want some more
6 August 2023

As SAG-AFTRA's luvvies continue to withhold their massive talent from the camera's loving gaze, everyone's favourite Latina grifter, Rachel Zegler, brought her own perspective to the pity party. In a video that went viral for all the wrong reasons, and saw her getting roasted for being entitled and out-of-touch, she declared:

The person most responsible
11 July 2023

As Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny dies an ignominious death at the box office, looking forward to a post-theatrical life as one of cinema's biggest and undoubtedly most infamous bombs, thoughts in some quarters turn to holding those responsible to account. The perennial bête noir of Lucasfilm's traditional fandom, the company's president Kathleen Kennedy, is once again rumoured to be ousted. It's a rumour that's circulated several times before, however, and yet Teflon Kate remains. She must know where bodies are buried.

The lesser of three evils
3 July 2023

As the coroner's court comes into session to examine the catastrophic theatrical opening of Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny, there comes news of another box office death in the shape of Universal/Dreamworks' Ruby Gillman: Teenage Kraken. The only thing I'd heard of this film was that one of its characters—one of the mermaid antagonists as it turns out—is a satire on Disney's 1989 Ariel, which is wryly amusing in light of the recent blackwashed live action reimagining's disappointing performance in theatres.*

Talking heads
14 June 2023

The UK's communications industry watchdog, Ofcom, is to canvas public opinion on politicians hosting current affairs programmes.

300lb of Whatever
11 June 2023

Ali C. Lopez (@al.weeezy) is a grossly obese trangender TikToker. I'm really uncertain as to whether she's a comedy legend or suffers from epic delusion, for when she appeared on the Whatever podcast, the self-proclaimed certified bad bitch rated herself a full fat fucking ten. This is on a 1–10 scale. Did she misunderstand the question? (confused)

Game theory
24 May 2023

According to Dove—the brand of soap, of all things—74% of girls feel underrepresented in video games. How the hell do they think boys feel? How many video game characters are portrayed as pasty-, spotty-faced bespectacled youths, with the physique of a garden rake and the charisma of a dishcloth?

0s and 1s
30 March 2023

I don't know why this qualifies for BBC Worklife per se, other than zoomers have to work like the rest of us, I guess; but Jessica Klein seeks to educate us as to How young people are shaking off gender binaries. The relevance of zoomers to work life, I can understand; their gender binarism is another matter entirely. Unless these attitudes are having an impact on the provision of toilet facilities in the workplace. (confused)

Don't cry for me, Argentina
23 March 2023

What's that I hear? The distant clucking of chickens coming home to roost?

Bloody Marvelsous!
10 March 2023

The release date for Disney Marvel Studios' The Marvels has been pushed back. Again. How many times is that?* But at least we now have a poster to whet the appetite.

A fool and their money
12 December 2022

Scott Shafer has a YouTube channel on which he uncovers internet-based scams. Today, it's the turn of Vanessa Sierra, an OnlyFans creator and metaverse land flipper—of all things—who conned investors in an NFT scam called Smol Boyz Land.

What's a rom?
4 October 2022

Bros is a romcom that mixes up a dying genre with a same-sex relationship. Judging by the excruciating trailer though, it appears to be light on the com. So I guess that makes it a rom then.

The mushroom hunter
3 October 2022

Nancy Brophy is an author. Of sorts. But also a murderer. Definitely.

Toilet twee
18 July 2022

It's always amused me how Americans ask where the bathroom is, or excuse themselves to take a bathroom break, when they have no intention of having a bath. Now, the BBC's health reporter, Philippa Roxbury, advises us how to examine one's stools for signs of bowel cancer in Bowel cancer: How to check your poo.

Richard the Third
14 June 2022

There's been a lot of commentary following the outcome of the Johnny Depp/Amber Heard defamation trial. One of the highlights of the case, which has been the source of much hilarity and derision, was the revelation—although I'm pretty sure that it was publicly known years ago—of Heard taking a dump in the marital bed, and later trying to pass the blame onto one of the couple's lapdogs. She now lives in infamy as Amber Turd.

A bum rap
17 March 2022

Less than one week into his sentence for lying to police, Jussie Smollett is released on bail, pending an appeal. His legal team, playing the inevitable race card, is happy with the result.

Please, Oscar to stop!
15 February 2022

This year's Oscars will be the first since 2018 to have a host; or, in this case, a powerhouse trio of comediennes: Regina Hall; Amy Schumer; and Wanda Sykes. Three women, two of whom are black, and one of whom triples-down by playing the LGBTQIABC+FLAPFLAPFLAP card to boot. At least that'll satisfy the Academy's DivErSitY AnD InCLuSiOn™ requirements. But, fuck me, anyone who can stomach Schumer for any length of time richly deserves their trinket. (thumbdown)

LOTR: CW-style
19 January 2022

Years ago, I watched Peter Jackson's adaptation of The Lord of the Rings trilogy on DVD. Not being much of a fan of either Tolkien or anything over 90 minutes, I found it pretty hard work. It was fine in the end, although I've no real pressing desire to repeat the experience. But I may, someday.

The Matrix Resuscitated
22 December 2021

In his ★★★☆☆ review of The Matrix Resurrections, Nicholas Barber dams the trilogy's fourth instalment with the faintest praise.

15 December 2021

Disney is to remake Zorro. Again. This time as a TV series. Again. Verily, there's a torrent of creativity gushing forth from the House of Mouse. (rolleyes)

Fighter talk
11 November 2021

YouTube channel Military TV posted a completely pointless and contentious list, of The 10 Deadliest Planes of WWII. They confuse things somewhat, by adding WW 2 Fighter Planes to the end of the video's title, but we'll come back to that later.

The Closer
20 October 2021

Today's the day for which Netflix employees, supported by bargain-basement celebrities who I've never heard of, had threatened a walkout in protest against Dave Chappelle's special, The Closer. I had intended to watch it earlier, but postponed it until today to mark this non-event.

"Time just gets away from us"
12 October 2021

Every so often, you come across something that reminds you of the passing of time and old friends…and of your own mortality. Like this comment on the ending of the Coen brothers' True Grit.

5 October 2021

Asked by DC for his take on his new upcoming comic, The Human Target, author Tom King responded:

Keeping it in the family
29 September 2021

Certain enclaves within Switzerland have traditionally kept it in the family, so to speak. Historically, this was because communities were isolated, by difficult terrain for example. But even our village, which isn't hard to get to, has several headstones in its graveyard dedicated to an entombed Kistler-Kistler. Kistler is the predominant family in the village; there's a lot of them.

Pickled nothing
29 August 2021

I've harvested so many chillis this year that I'm going to have to pickle some of them. I've never pickled anything in my life before now. Except, possibly, my brain and liver. (SMH)

4 August 2021

In Selling Starvation: The Shameful Case of Teddi Mellencamp, Georg Rockall-Schmidt probes into a weight-loss cult led by a minor, nay trivial, celebrity. The daughter of rockcock John Mellencamp—for the record, I've never been a fan; I prefer music—established herself as an accountability coach, running a diet programme called ALL IN.

Beginning of the end
25 July 2021

The end credits to one of the greatest films of all time, 1994's The Shawshank Redemption, start with IN MEMORY OF ALLEN GREENE. Strangely enough, this inspired a question on Quora as to whether Allen Greene was a real person. WTF? Why would the film be dedicated to anyone otherwise? (confused)

Inside The CW script writing room
10 June 2021

Following the leaking of the Powerpuff Girls script, comes this call and response:

Low five
26 May 2021

The Predator franchise has taken, for me at least, a similar trajectory to that of Terminator's. The first instalment was excellent; the second was good enough, but not a patch on its predecessor; and thereafter I lost interest. At least Arnie bailed after Predator though, rather than returning like a sad sack to demean his original appearance.

Food for fight
11 May 2021

Another thing that they probably have in common is a desire for anything in common but having appeared together in Foodfight!

Don't shoot the messenger
22 April 2021

Forty-eight hours have passed, and 2021 Free Expression Awards Highlight: Susan Wojcicki has been up for about a week. In that time, it's received 76,179 views; five times the number of subscribers to the Freedom Forum's channel. And far, far more than any of the other 2021 Free Expression Awards' videos.

Buy freedom
20 April 2021

The Freedom Forum is a nonpartisan 501 (c)(3) foundation that fosters First Amendment freedoms for all [Americans, presumably].

Bucking the trend
18 April 2021

After all of the brou-ha-ha over privileged Hollywood actors taking roles from minorities—by, erm…acting—and calls for them to get back in their lane, there comes a refreshing change in the shape of Chad. In this new TV comedy series, Nasim Pedrad plays the titular character, a fourteen-year-old Persian boy dealing with family relationships and cultural identity, as he tries to navigate highschool.

16 April 2021

I cannot, for the life of me, recall what made me do it, but just for laughs I watched Marvel's NEW WARRIORS trailer. Oh dear, it doesn't appear to be too popular; 5.9k upvotes to 283k downvotes. Eeeef.

Quote of the day
29 January 2021

Well, it was about three weeks ago, when it was posted.

Take it! Like a man!
2 December 2020

Kneon (Thom Pratt) at Clownfish TV covered the Ellen/Elliot Page non-story, and received some comments that are predictably similar to my own thoughts. My favourites are copied below, simply for convenience…and a little additional commentary.

That's Sarnoff of that!
23 November 2020

Since many US cinemas remain closed due to the pandemic, Warner Bros will forego a full theatrical release for Wonder Woman 1984, opting instead for a limited theatrical release and wider D2C release through its streaming service, HBO Max. As Ann Sarnoff, chair and CEO of WarnerMedia Studios and Networks Group, explained to Variety:

Roger Moore's eyebrow
5 October 2020

Misleading post title? Why, of course! But this does have a connection with eyebrows.

The wit and wisdom of IMDb reviews
18 February 2019

Watching one of Georg Rockall-Schmidt's vlogs, What Makes A Movie So Bad It's Good?, I was introduced to Harold P. Warren's 1966 horror Manos: The Hands of Fate. Rockall-Schmidt describes it as often cited as the worst film ever made. A rating of 1.9/10 from 33,238 IMDb users certainly supports this contention.

Clocking off!
30 September 2017

While the girls have that smouldering dreamboat Paul Ross to mount on their walls, Canvas Clocks have something for the boys: a Pam St Clement wall clock. Battery included!

U iz stoopid
24 June 2013

While reading about thoracotomy, as you do, I came across this question on Yahoo! Answers: How do doctors get passed the rib cage during surgery? Which seems pretty reasonable, despite the misspelling.

Tits oot fer the lads! A political protest by the PHWOAR! Party
24 October 2012

Femen, a Ukrainian radical feminist movement, is fighting against patriarchy, in its three manifestations: sexual exploitation of women, dictatorship and religion. They accomplish this by radically protesting while topless, which has got to hurt during the Ukrainian winter.

12 August 2012

Amazon trader St@llion is selling an insanely desirable box canvas print of Paul Ross. And, while we should always be careful about scores and reviews given on Amazon, how could anyone fail to be persuaded by these happy customers?

Snow leopards love squirrels
3 August 2012

A snow leopard catches and eats a squirrel in front of a little boy, while daddy cries oh no over and over. Mind you, daddy did describe the leopard as a tiger, so he's clearly an idiot.

Billie Jo: 'er speared
15 December 2011

So, country singer Billie Jo Spears has gone to that great caterwaul in the sky—me, I'm not a fan of country music. So far, so boring. But then there's this comment on the BBC's news article:

The wisdom of IMDb reviews
28 December 2010

Idly reading of those that passed on in 2010, I learned of Simon MacCorkindale's death in October. For some bizarre reason, they included Manimal in his career triumphs. Christ only knows why, I bet the poor sod would've preferred to forget it.

Birdemic: shock of reviews
8 April 2010

Being touted as possibly the worst film ever, Birdemic: Shock and Terror is the story of bad actors and bad dialogue livened up with bald eagles. This, from an IMDb reviewer, may say more about him than anything, but it made me laugh nonetheless:

Time Bomb
8 July 2005

I was ill off work. So ill that I stayed in bed until about 3pm, and still felt like shit.

Vegetarianism as the moral high ground
22 November 2004

This, on the IMDb boards, made me realise that there's more to vegetarianism than not wanting to eat something that had a face.

15 November 2004

I fkn h8 txt msg spk in online reviews—Amazon, in this case. I mean, if you can't be arsed to write properly, why bother?