Will this madness never end?

I could get into trouble for this

There are 340 posts tagged: random thoughts & brain farts

Not everyone is represented

30 July 2024

Controversy rages over the Paris Olympics' opening ceremony, in which one tableau featuring queer dears has caused offence by mocking the last supper of Christ. Except it does nothing of the sort, it's a depiction of a pagan feast, albeit it one with bearded drag queens and featuring a landwhale as its centrepiece. Hey, it's the Olympics, let's celebrate athleticism.

Travisty

20 June 2024

A report that ©rapper Travis Scott was arrested in Miami for doing stupid shit while drunk is rounded off by the BBC News droid with a few factettes, for those of us who're blissfully unaware. Finishing with this:

CookGPT

8 May 2024

Another low-energy, web-based self-training exercise, this time on the security dangers of generative AI. And the video starts with a little analogy to explain generative AI to us neophytes.

Rapper's delight

30 April 2024

Announced on the BBC's home page: Iranian rapper sentenced to death. It seems harsh, but not unreasonable.

Red tie in the morning

16 April 2024

The latest court proceedings in the life of Orangeman are encapsulated by Jane Rosenberg, and bring to my mind just a single thought: for a man with so much money, he only seems to have one, red tie.

Woke Scrabble

15 April 2024

Scrabble, the board game, has undergone a makeover to make it more palatable to Generation Z. According to the BBC's Anna Lamche, the new Scrabble Together has in the words of some critics, gone woke.

Star(t)ling

7 February 2024

The Natural History Museum's Wildlife Photographer of the Year People's Choice Award has gone to a photograph of a polar bear asleep on an ice floe. It is quite pretty and, according to the museum's director, says something important about climate blah blah blah. (yawn)

MEN: have a go

28 January 2024

Manchester Evening News intersperses its news items with ad notices such as this:

The hair, the mic, the world

25 January 2024

This thumbnail from a YouTube short offers an unfortunate reflection on everyone's favourite Swedish vinegar-swigger. (hitler)

Joined-up talking

23 January 2024

A 2dull2read article on teaching cursive writing in Commifornian schools simply served to remind me of this meme:

Cable care

19 January 2024

A story appearing on today's BBC home page reminded me of the importance of cable car maintenance.

No thanks

3 November 2023

As the world readies itself for the cinematic release of the latest Disney princess classic-in-waiting, Wish, in celebration of the company's centenary, we're treated to one of its musical highlights: This Is The Thanks I Get?!

Across the panderverse

1 November 2023

The latest instalment of South Park has dropped to streaming on Paramount+. Unfortunately for me at least, anything streamed on Paramount+ may as well be streamed on the moon. There are online reviews, however, and even my viewing options stretch that far.

The parting of the hair

1 November 2023

A couple of years' ago, someone glorying under the name of Kaz Rowe examined The Many Ways F. Scott Fitzgerald Made an Absolute Fool of Himself.

Mugshot

26 October 2023

British DJ, Tim Westwood, has been detained by police for questioning in relation to historical sex offences.

Subliminal doormat

10 October 2023

I can't help but think they're trying to tell me something. (confused)

Stone Age style guide

29 September 2023

Sandals taken from Cueva de los Murciélagos, a cave in Andalusia, south-west Spain, have been identified as Europe's oldest shoes, dating back 6,000 years.

From North Korea with love

27 September 2023

A US soldier who fled across the DMZ from South Korea to its northern neighbour is to be deported, rather than held in Kim Jong-un's fetid prison. While Pvt. Travis King may've been fleeing inhuman treatment in the US military, antipathy to racism and disillusionment with the unequal US society, at least he'll get some decent food now.

People in glass houses…

27 September 2023

GB News has suspended Laurence Fox, after he asked on air what self-respecting man would climb into bed with PoliticsJOE reporter Ava Evans.

Irreconcilable wall

20 September 2023

Following his sentencing to thirty years to life in prison for rape, Danny Masterson's wife has filed for divorce, citing irreconcilable differences between the pair. Yeah, that would be a prison wall; they're built to be irreconcilable, innit?

Planet smurf

19 September 2023

Did you see Avatar when it came to your local picture playhouse? I feel like the exception proving the rule that the whole of the western world saw it. But when they returned, they could only talk of the astonishing CGI and 3D wizardry. (snooze)

When will "X, formerly known as Twitter" become X?

5 September 2023

Back at the end of July, Elon Musk announced that Twitter would henceforth be known as X. Presumably it marks the spot in general terms, rather than on a treasure map, because it was too early to celebrate International Talk Like a Pirate Day—which is 19^th September, if you're curious.

Magician, heal thyself

31 August 2023

News of a coup in Gabon was enlightening mainly for bringing to my attention the name of the country's president: Ali Bongo.

Too sketchy

3 August 2023

The sentencing to death of the Pittsburgh synagogue shooter in a US federal court brings to my attention the work of court sketch artist David Klug. And it makes me wonder, is there any formal training required to become a courtroom sketch artist?

Boaring story

22 July 2023

A lioness roaming Berlin's suburbs, causing fear among citizens, who were advised to stay indoors and away from the forest, is now believed to have been a wild boar. But local youths still managed to get some fun out of the situation.

The person most responsible

11 July 2023

As Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny dies an ignominious death at the box office, looking forward to a post-theatrical life as one of cinema's biggest and undoubtedly most infamous bombs, thoughts in some quarters turn to holding those responsible to account. The perennial bête noir of Lucasfilm's traditional fandom, the company's president Kathleen Kennedy, is once again rumoured to be ousted. It's a rumour that's circulated several times before, however, and yet Teflon Kate remains. She must know where bodies are buried.

Global trusted urinalism

4 July 2023

This is my opportunity to support the world's most trusted international news broadcaster™ as it reports on stories from around the world fairly, impartially and without fear or favour. Cute.

Idiot questions or idiot me?

25 June 2023

More misheard lyrics that make no sense, largely because they're a figment of my imagination or aural acuity. This time, the Police's Message in a Bottle. I never really understood the line:

Ms or Mr?

28 May 2023

As India's women wrestlers protest against sexual harassment and abuse at the hands of officials from the nation's wrestling federation, one of the fighting Phogat sisters appears to have taken sexism in sport to heart more than most, and decided to transfer to the men's league.

Time for turkey!

27 May 2023

While researching which countries lie within the UTC+0300 time zone, I discovered that when applied to Turkey it's known as Turkey time.

Les lettres françaises

17 May 2023

At least sixty-five women who previously attended the same school in Melbourne, Australia, have received used condoms in the post.

Black alert

15 May 2023

California Senate Bill 673, introduced last month, is a proposal to create an alert system for black women and youths who've gone missing.

Unboxing

15 May 2023

At the turn of the century, South Wales Police were using groundbreaking DNA genealogy to identify a serial murderer/rapist who'd terrorised the Swansea area in the early '70s. Gilbert John's retelling is a gripping read.

Keeping their religion

14 May 2023

The BBC's home page teases what appears to be a story of Muslims transitioning to other faiths. Possibly ones that show greater tolerance; which hardly narrows the field really.

A pox on your bottom no more

14 May 2023

The WHO has declared the bottompox brouhaha to be over, just in time for Pride Month. That'll gladden the hearts of the LGBTQIABC+FLAPFLAPFLAP brigade no end. And it'll give them all something else to celebrate, in addition to their specialness, during their superspecial thirty days.

Waitrose

10 May 2023

BBC News set no less than three of its crack layabouts to work on reporting staff anger at John Lewis, as it struggles against financial losses and the competition.

Mr or Ms?

4 May 2023

On the divorce of the late Robert Mugabe's daughter from her husband, Simba Mutsahuni Chikore, comes this insight from the BBC's correspondent in Harare:

Official trawler

2 May 2023

I happened across this thumbnail for a trailer to Disney Marvel Studios' upcoming straight-to-streaming Secret Invasion. More Marvel-less fodder for Disney+.

Sì, sì, cìtron

30 April 2023

Reading of Calabrian farmers' endeavours to protect and sustain the rare citron (Citrus medica), I was struck by an overpowering sense of déjà vu. For I'd recently read of the lure of this same fruit, less than four months' ago. On the very same site, as it happens, albeit stuffed into a different pigeonhole. It seems that good topics know no bounds.

.today's .best

30 April 2023

It's thanks to spam that I've learnt of previously unencountered top-level domains opened up by the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers for the benefit of those who wish to avoid email filtering and blocking rules. In just two days, I've received solicitations from .today and .best, although these TLD have been around for the best part of a decade, so they're hardly new. It's just difficult to see their actual value as global TLD, other than to spread the options for skeevy throwaway domains.

Sometimes it's hard to be a man

28 April 2023

The BBC home page tantalises this lead to BBC Reel. I didn't bother watching it. But simply that the question needed to be asked in the first place, might explain the current vogue for men wanting to become women. (pipe)

Lies, damned lies, and marketing

27 April 2023

Travelling from London Paddington to Heathrow Airport, I thought I'd avail myself of the complimentary Wi-Fi service. I'd already done so at Paddington station, where connection to the internet is simply a case of selecting Wi-Fi service provider and accepting the T&C.

Needs a better handle

17 April 2023

An Indian awards ceremony, newsworthy only for eleven of the crowd dying of heatstroke, introduced me to the name of social worker/activist—BBC News India uses both terms, although in my mind they have different meanings—Dattatreya Narayan Dharmadhikari, popularly known as Appasaheb Dharmadhikari. Dunno, it still doesn't slip off the tongue easily, does it? (shrug)

It's a subcontinent-sized world

11 April 2023

Is the scope of this World Startup Convention like that of the World Series? Dependent on how liberally one defines world? (thinking)

Pretty 6

10 April 2023

Used to illustrate a Wackypeedeeyah! entry on White Anglo-Saxon Protestants, of all things. I really have no idea how I got there, as I can't recall what I was searching for, but this photo cropped up in a Google image search. All I know for certain is that WASP; protestants; church; Manhattan; and WTC were not among my search criteria. So, yeah! (shrug)

The passive aggression of airports

9 April 2023

I was at Zürich Airport recently, and an old blast from the late '70s came over the speakers: Airport by The Motors. I loved that song at the time, and it's still not terrible over forty years later. Although I wouldn't add it to my Spotify playlist; if I had one.

Stop me if you've heard this one before…

6 April 2023

There's a slight fallacy, a miscommunication, in Angie Brown's account of murder at an Edinburgh beauty spot.

Pretty 5

4 April 2023

Used to illustrate the bankruptcy of Virgin Orbit, Sir Richard Branson's less-than-outrageously-successful satellite launch company.

Emojional intelligence

3 April 2023

A couple of social media commenters have recently cast mild aspersions in passing on the use of emojis, dismissing them as the proclivity of old fart boomers. Perhaps not using emojis is a flex of sorts, dunno. I think I use them sparingly enough on this blog, and in text messages; usually for emphasis, or for what passes in my mind as humour.

A web form for VICE Voices

30 March 2023

Your gender:

Rooted

30 March 2023

A man of no fixed abode has been jailed at Liverpool Crown Court for twenty-eight months for growing cannabis. It's a brief article of only 75 words, so clearly the BBC News droid doesn't have time for such frippery as details. Like explaining what he did with his plants; carry them around with him in a plastic bag, FFS? (confused)

Planned accident

28 March 2023

Fifteen years ago, the son of a Yemeni billionaire killed a Norwegian student in London, then fled the country. He recently admitted his guilt in a telephone interview with a BBC reporter.

Abnormal students

27 March 2023

A BBC story of cyber bullying on Chinese social media is most notable for bringing the existence of East China Normal University to my attention. I wonder what courses are taught at East China Abnormal University? (thinking)

To infinity and beyond!

21 March 2023

Writing for BBC Future—because, why not?—Richard Fisher discusses The numbers that are too big to imagine. He starts well enough, with a little childhood reminiscence:

Sticking the (soccer) boot in

17 March 2023

At a guess, I'd say that being sacked for underperformance must be a humiliating experience. To be sacked in the public eye, with your performance laid bare for all to see, even more so.

Tax-free travellin'

5 March 2023

Ireland's gyppos—sorry, Travellers—want their history and culture to be taught as part of the curriculum in Irish schools.

The article that doesn't need to be read

4 March 2023

The answers to some questions are so obvious that asking them only makes the enquirer sound stupid. So, file this one for BBC Worklife under well, duh!

Didn't get the memo

3 March 2023

There's always one, isn't there?

Stamp duty

25 February 2023

Although released in the middle of last year, I have only today noticed—while collecting the mail—that Swiss Post is commemorating 100 years of Swiss air traffic control. I guess somebody has to, even if it's only to generate a little revenue from the philatelists. (shrug)

Oversensitivity reader

21 February 2023

Michael Deacon follows up the revelation of sensitivity readers desecrating works beyond their pedestrian abilities, with some imagined changes to other beloved children's books. His takes on The Very Hungry Caterpillar and Mr Tickle are particularly on point, and satisfyingly acidic.

'Tards talking 'tards

17 February 2023

Giant Freaking Robot, a garbage-tier clickbait rumour mill, has an article entitled See Florence Pugh Show Off Contortionist Skills In A Skin-Tight Leotard. It sounds creepily voyeuristic. And, no, I didn't read it. (holy)

Stupid Cupid

15 February 2023

According to a survey conducted by the Pew Research Center [sic], there's a huge disparity between the sexes when it comes to American adults aged 18–29 years who're in relationships. While 63% of men in this age group responded they're not in a relationship, only 34% of women responded likewise.

Pretty 4

10 February 2023

Used to illustrate an article on Amsterdam's red light district, it does indeed include quite a lot of red. But also some other colours, which makes it pretty.

iPhone tech guru me

6 February 2023

Herself's iPhone battery's dying. I had the battery replaced in my iPhone 6s a year or so ago, and the results were…temporary.

Disappointing my wife in bed

5 February 2023

I bet that got your attention!

Oh, the irany

1 February 2023

An Iranian couple have been jailed for promoting corruption; prostitution; and propaganda, after posting a video of themselves dancing in the street beside Tehran's Azadi Tower (برج آزادی or Freedom Tower). Amply demonstrating that the Iranian authorities have nothing if not a sense of irony.

The age of a corpse

27 January 2023

The mummified, almost skeletal remains of a 38-year-old woman, who is thought to have died in November 2017, were found in her home over three years later, in May 2021. It's a sad and tragic case of mental illness, abandonment, and agencies' neglect.

Pretty 3

16 January 2023

Not entirely relevant to the Luftwaffe, so I'm putting it here.

Vertically challenged

15 January 2023

On behalf of BBC Future Planet, William Park poses a question that I suspect few have pondered: How far can vertical farming go?

Prancing prophet

8 January 2023

Since being fan-edited into Jenna Ortega's dance improv in s1e4 of Netflix's Addams Family spin-off, Wednesday, Lady Gaga's Bloody Mary has become a bit of a trope on social media. I guess I never paid much attention to it before now. But now I have…and the lyrics are enlightening, to say the least.

Flour power

3 January 2023

This couldn't be as mundane as a rehash of the moon landing conspiracy theories. And it wasn't.

More than you didn't pay for

2 January 2023

The thumbnail promises to reveal Everything Wrong With Death on the Nile in 22 Minutes or Less.

Dhaka railway

29 December 2022

The Bangladeshi capital, Dhaka, has opened its first metro line, heralding easier commuting for the city's populace and alleviating congestion on its roads. At first I was confused that the first line to open is numbered 6, not 1. But it appears that the system will have six lines in total when it's completed. So perhaps they're being numbered in reverse order. (shrug)

A measure of success

17 December 2022

After the raging success of the best ever World Cup, FIFA will discuss changing the format. Surely, if Qatar 2022 was that successful, everything about it would be retained?

Peruvian poverty

8 December 2022

The BBC home page has a link to a story on the ousting of Peru's president, Pedro Castillo. Except the link (right) refers to Peru president, although the article's headline does correct the error (top).

Retard talking retards

4 December 2022

Tucker Carlson is a Fox News anchor. Or talking head. Or something like that.

A shortness of Trusst

4 December 2022

Nick Robinson, a presenter on BBC's Today programme, outlines eleven gambles that went wrong for Liz Truss. So far, so drear. She was, after all, the UK's shortest-serving prime minister; the only remarkable aspect of her tenure being how quickly she crashed and burned.

Grazing grass

16 November 2022

nu3—or is that nu³? I really don't know (shrug)—claims that their exotically-priced, flavoured protein powder is whey from 100% grass-fed milk.

Rooful announcement

16 November 2022

Perhaps ironically, UK-based, Australian-sounding food delivery service, Deliveroo, is saying hooroo to Australia.

Military cocktail

13 November 2022

Following his takeover of Twitter, the space cadet announced paid-for account verification. The blue check brigade lost its collective shit—it's a thing that losers on Twitter are wont to do. But it didn't take others too long to seize the opportunity for some major-league trolling.

Low-energy bubbles

9 November 2022

I've mentioned YouTube channel TheQuartering before. It's one of the lowest-energy commentary channels on the platform, if not within the entire universe; including as yet undiscovered civilisations out there [points at stars].

Making bank

9 November 2022

I don't involve myself in the murky world of cryptocurrency. I don't understand it, and I don't trust it; it just seems spooky and volatile. So I'd never heard of FTX—one of the world's biggest cryptocurrency exchanges—until news of its near collapse and bail-out by close rival Binance.

Land of haa, or hal

2 November 2022

A bit of a non-story, about confusion between a footballer and a Swedish coastal region, led the BBC's Tom Gerken—not to be confused with a pickled cucumber—to offer a handy-dandy mnemonic, in an effort to pour oil on troubled waters.

Titularless

1 November 2022

How many people would be excited for an Indiana Jones film, without Indie? We may well find out, if Phoebe Waller-Bridge gets her way, but would you be excited? How about Mission Impossible, without Ethan Hunt; Iron Man, without Iron Man; or Black Panther, without Black Panther?

Tempelhof remembered

1 November 2022

The link on the BBC's home page teases The airport that changed Europe. Unfortunately, Krystin Arneson's Tempelhof: The single site that embodies Berlin is somewhat less compelling than the announcement portends.

Doing a Todd

31 October 2022

Overanalysing song lyrics, à la Todd in the Shadows, that is.

Monster mash

29 October 2022

News that NFL quarterback Tom Brady is to divorce from Gisele Bundchen led me to a 2015 story of a court case over handling balls…fnarr fnarr! The only point of interest in which is the court sketch, which was derided in some circles for its less-than-realistic representation of the man.

The carnival is over

25 October 2022

It appears that, after forty-five years, Ford Motor Company may be planning to sunset the redoubtable Ford Fiesta.

Impossible stars

25 October 2022

The Pillars of Creation are a star-forming region of gas and dust that's part of the nearby Eagle Nebula, a mere 6,500 light-years away. Close, but not close enough to borrow a cup of sugar.

A quicker guide to Rishi Sunak

25 October 2022

On seeing the above link on the BBC's home page, my first thought was this:

Fat-thumbed dinosaur eats crow

12 October 2022

The battery life of my iPhone 6s is plummeting. I had it replaced about a year ago, but even so it's been getting really bad recently; like it'll drop from full charge to about 75% overnight. When I'm travelling, and have my train/air tickets on it, I have to carry a backup battery as life-support.

Five, six, or one?

11 October 2022

BBC Three helpfully informs us of five things we may not have known about US fashion designer Virgil Abloh, who died 28^th November last year. Clearly, the BBC Three droid jumped the gun on the one-year anniversary tribute by six weeks.

What a fool should keep to himself

10 October 2022

In what appears to be an effort to suck up to the nationalistic shitheads in its northwestern dominion, Elon Musk has thrown them Taiwan as a bone. But I'm sure he couldn't have an ulterior motive. Oh, no!

Plumbing the depths

9 October 2022

My immediate thought on seeing this link on the BBC's home page was that it hardly takes a mission to see a film made twenty-five years ago. Then I noticed the category that it falls under…Travel, not Culture.

Titania: emphasis on the 'tit'

7 October 2022

Jameela Jamil (who?) is an actress, of sorts—providing you're wantonly liberal with the definition of the term—who plays the role of Titania in Marvel's She-Hulk: Attorney at Law. I've not seen the show, since it's exclusive to Disney+, but from what I've seen of it in trailers and critiques, I'm glad I'm not wasting money on a Disney+ subscription.

Nurse! The screens!

28 September 2022

A dictionary definition of a word is usually accompanied by examples of it in use. One of the words in today's Waffle game is nurse, something that's easy enough to define and to put into context. Or so you'd think.

Fail merge

22 September 2022

If you're gonna use a mail merge template to drum up business from people who haven't signed up to your Mailchimp shitlist, at least ensure that the merge merges. (pipe)

The beer necessities

22 September 2022

A pile-up involving five trailer trucks on I-75 in Florida, resulted in the closure of the highway when one of the trucks spilled its cargo of thousands of beer cans.

Wobbly

21 September 2022

Of all the cultural commentary channels to be thrown up at me on YouTube, JosiahRises is probably the most pointless. The man has such a zealous hate-boner for Hollywoke elites that it amounts to obsession; there's nary humour or critical objectivity. It must be the distortion caused by his Christian-conservative lens. But I'm sure he's a riot at parties.

From boomers to zoomers

20 September 2022

Generations: the social sciences concept so beloved of people who think we can all be conveniently pigeon-holed by birth year; advertisers and social commenters, mainly. I was thinking about this in the wake of Gen Z's inauthentic representation by Hollyweird, and of the okay boomer viral video from a couple of years ago, by the girl with more tits than brains.

Representative audience

18 September 2022

A treatise on why Hollyweird has failed Generation Z should reveal some interesting insights. After all, why would an industry of make-believe not try to cultivate a new generation while it's still malleable? The suits at Disney, Warner Bros, and the like have a deep and long-held fondness for money; surely they'd want to maximise the size of the paying audience, rather than ignoring an emerging key demographic?

Familiarly different

15 September 2022

DN Models produces painting masks for military models. According to the advert, this is your way to be different.

Old King Cock

15 September 2022

On the passing of Queen Elizabeth II, Jamaicans are considering a future as a republic. I can't say I blame them.

Leap of no faith

9 September 2022

I'd never heard of Bed Bath & Beyond, a US domestic retail chain, until criminal lawyer Bruce Rivers posted his reaction to the company's CFO's suicide by autodefenestration. Gustavo Arnal, who faced investigation for financial irregularities, fell from his 18^th-floor Manhattan apartment last Friday.

My way or the highway

8 September 2022

According to the Automobile Association, over 60% of British drivers are unaware of changes to the Highway Code that were introduced earlier this year. The changes give greater road priority to pedestrians, cyclists and horse riders.

Harsh, but fair

2 September 2022

The BBC's quiz of the week is an opportunity for you to discover how little of the week's news you paid attention to. Seven multiple-choice questions shouldn't be too hard, though, should it?

Quietly quitting

30 August 2022

Sometimes it's reassuring to know that you're not alone in how you feel, and how you respond. So not alone, that there's actually a name for it. In this case, the name is quiet quitting: no longer going above-and-beyond at work, and doing the bare minimum to get by.

Slow business

29 August 2022

Flooding in Pakistan's Manoor valley has cut off villages from the outside world, leaving their residents struggling with communications. Some of the villagers threw a letter, packed in a weighted plastic bag, to reporters.

Triggered

25 August 2022

There was a time when a TV or film production that contained graphic or upsetting scenes would be accompanied by an advisory content warning to that effect, so as to suitably prepare the unwary. And there's absolutely nothing wrong in that. Now, however, they're accompanied by trigger warnings.

Disrespecting the departed

24 August 2022

Kurt Cobain railed against the mundanity of, among other things, the corporate music scene. The label classic rock—insinuating brain-in-neutral listening—would, I imagine, have been an anathema to him.

Allergic advisory

23 August 2022

I saw this allergen advice on a bar of Jordans' Frusli—blueberry flavour, if you're curious.

Oh no, poor lamb

22 August 2022

In How workplace bullying went remote, Joanna York examines workplace bullying in the remote-work era on behalf of BBC Worklife (Hello Hybrid subdivision). But is she really discussing bullying, or simply hurt fee-fees, when she refers to unkind behaviour?

Wrong message

18 August 2022

A common written style of street vocabulary eschews the use of vowels, relying instead on phonetics to fill the gaps. Thus, N becomes ‑in‑ or ‑en‑, etc. It's so commonplace that reading acronyms phonetically becomes second nature.

Hun the wiser

12 August 2022

Many of us associate Attila the Hun—rightly or wrongly, I'm no historian—among the pantheon of genocidal conquerors, alongside Ivan the Terrible; Vlad the Impaler; Genghis the Khan; and President the Pooh. But, as Kenny Rogers once opined, there's someone for everyone; and your views on genocidal conquerors may just depend on what side of the genocidally conquering/conquered divide you stand.

Gone! And never called me mother!

10 August 2022

New privacy features have been announced for WhatsApp, including the ability to leave group chats silently.

Boys 'n' beards

8 August 2022

While perusing the thumbnails on YouTube's home page—or landing page, or whatever it's called—it occurred to me that all the 30-something Caucasian men with brown hair and beards look like Ryan George. That's it, really. Sorry to have troubled you.

Are you new here?

6 August 2022

Adobe must be blowing the cobwebs out of their Support Community, for I've just been notified that I have a new rank. Apparently, thanks to my contributions to the community, I'm now new around them there parts.

Goo-goo(gly) eyes

5 August 2022

Googly eyes on YouTube video thumbnails: it's a trope that's overused on pop culture and social commentary hot-takes; often accompanied by copius tears and exclamation marks. And this isn't just my opinion, it's one that was recently shared by none other than Richard Meyer, who's cropped up here before. And that reminded me of something…

Transformative parody is the sincerest form of flattery*

31 July 2022

Tamiya is a Japanese company that has been creating plastic model kits and toys since 1946. I built several of their military model kits as a boy. Even now, I have three on my workbench, and many more in my stash. They're good kits, well-detailed and -engineered, especially their newer releases.

BBC clickbait: the ellipses are out in force

30 July 2022

I'm not sure what rules the BBC's website content management system has in place, but it makes the home page look bloody odd at times. Of these five video links, all but one were truncated with an ellipsis. But the truncated text was insubstantial in terms of the space required to show it as part of the link text.

Some of it, plus the rest of it…

26 July 2022

…is all of it.*

Too obvious?

19 July 2022

Yet another gunman attacks innocent US civilians, this time killing three people in Greenwood, IN. It wouldn't have made anything other than local news, but for the fact that he was stopped dead in his tracks—quite literally—by a fellow gunslinger packing his own heater. Elisjsha Dicken dropped the attacker, Jonathan Sapirman—who had two rifles, a handgun, and over 100 rounds of ammunition—only two minutes into his assault.

Toilet twee

18 July 2022

It's always amused me how Americans ask where the bathroom is, or excuse themselves to take a bathroom break, when they have no intention of having a bath. Now, the BBC's health reporter, Philippa Roxbury, advises us how to examine one's stools for signs of bowel cancer, in Bowel cancer: How to check your poo.

Negative drop

17 July 2022

I see this quite often, and not just in reference to films tanking in their second week at the box office. A -68% reduction is akin to a 68% increase, although admittedly it doesn't make much sense as such.

When you're down, you're down

12 July 2022

A British SAS unit in Afghanistan allegedly killed 54 detainees in suspicious circumstances. This occurred during a single six-month tour of duty, which shows they must really love their work. I only wish I had that level of passion and dedication for mine.

A man who knows his onions

5 July 2022

CNN host Don Lemon's surname is pronounced the same as the citrus fruit. It's recently come to my attention that Fox News' Tucker Carlson apparently pronounces it as Le-Mon—similar to Duran Duran's Simon Le Bon. Perhaps Carslon's retarded. (shrug)

Ngenius

5 July 2022

I was idly curious as to the benefits of the Nginx web server over Apache, for no other reason than that Nginx comes as the default web server on Synology DiskStations, and Apache has to be installed separately. I install Apache because I'm vaguely familiar with it.

Let me count the ways

24 June 2022

While searching Google on the subject of plagiarism, as is my wont, I discovered that it comes in many forms. Four, to be precise.

Low interest

20 June 2022

The lead from the BBC's home page tantalises five ways in which the rise in US interest rates will affect you. Compelling, no?

Grandchildren endangered

20 June 2022

Following the murder of 13-year-old Olly Stephens in January last year, Marianna Spring examines the influence of social media on his death. From her investigations for the BBC's Panorama programme, it appears that F*c*book, Instagram, and Youtube did not moderate the display of inappropriate content to an underaged child's account, while TikTok and Snapchat did.

Religious drugs are cuddly

9 June 2022

In A Christian Response to Wokeness, Noelle Mering relates the modern history of the woke movement, originating with the work of Karl Marx. All of which reminded me…

Unreaction

30 May 2022

Reaction videos are the lamest and laziest form of YouTube content. This is not just a statement of opinion, but one of actual factual FACT! (oldman)

The concrete jungle

20 May 2022

To mark Queen Elizabeth II's Platinum Jubilee, eight towns within the UK's nations are being conferred city status. These include the concrete eyesore that is Milton Keynes, in Buckinghamshire. The town is so visually uninspiring that the BBC's article is illustrated with a photograph of its football stadium under floodlight. (LOL)

Having their meat and eating it

4 May 2022

As the US Supreme Court appears set to challenge women's right to abortion, conservative and religious pro-lifers hope that Roe vs Wade will be overturned. I can't help but wonder how many of them are vegetarian though.

O-bi

30 April 2022

Disney continues to strip mine its IP to generate content for, and interest in, its streaming channel, Disney+. Following on from its previous Star Wars offshoots, The Mandalorian and The Book of Boba Fett, comes Obi-Wan Kenobi.

The price of reporting

29 April 2022

It's an age-old tactic, used by mobsters for decades. If someone squeals on you, you retaliate by taking out revenge on their family.

Misleading ad shock!

29 April 2022

Samsung has apologised for an advert, showing a woman going for a run through the streets of a city alone at night.

Spelling Bee

27 April 2022

Spelling Bee is an online word game, hosted by the New York Times. You're given seven letters, arranged in a honeycomb pattern—ho ho ho—from which to make words. The only stipulations are that each must be on the list of accepted words; must be at least four letters long; and must contain the letter in the centre.

The heat is exhausting

24 April 2022

It's true, the height of summer can be draining.

A very thoughtful question…?

22 April 2022

A worthwhile question, below, I'm sure you'll agree. I just feel inadequately qualified to answer it. (confused)

Bookworm

10 April 2022

We're only a quarter of the way through 2022, but already Rebecca Laurence and Lindsay Baker have compiled a list of the fourteen best books of the year, thus far, on behalf of BBC Culture. Not ten. Not fifteen. And, fortunately, not twenty. Fourteen.

I chain, I sawed, I conquered

7 April 2022

I've a long-held passion for chainsaws. Oh yes, indeed. And I'm obviously not alone. This video, from Triple L Rustic Designs, has received 12 million views in a month! Yet they only have 276K subscribers. Wow! Who'd've figured? (shock)

Due recognition

7 April 2022

Dr Todd Grande is a mental health counsellor. He has a YouTube channel on which he dissects the state-of-mind of people involved in noteworthy events. In an episode dated 25.08.2021, he describes Dennis Nilsen as Britain's Jeffrey Dahmer. But that's completely arse about face.

Legolass

7 April 2022

Reddit users have come up with a number of theories to explain this supposed optical illusion.

Stormy weather

6 April 2022

If ten hours of fireplace crackling is too hot for you, you might appreciate twenty-four hours of non-stop heavy rain action. And who wouldn't?

Proof of Ed?

24 March 2022

Matt Kenyon is a journalist and comedy writer for BBC Radio 4. In The jokes that have made people laugh for thousands of years, he reveals that lowbrow humour, perhaps unsurprisingly, has been with humankind from time immemorial. So, Amy my vagina is my humour Schumer isn't quite the innovator that we might've thought her to be.

The world is small

23 March 2022

A BBC report on new leadership of the International Brotherhood of Teamsters made me wonder how a US labour union can claim to be international. I'm not aware of any presence in Europe, for example. Ahhh, yes, Canada, silly me. (rolleyes)

Clueless

22 March 2022

BBC News runs a weekly timed multiple-choice quiz: ten news-based questions, with four possible answers, and ten seconds to answer each one.

Fire safety

21 March 2022

The ten-hour video shown in this thumbnail is actually ten hours and 31 seconds long. Presumably, the extra half a minute is for the paid sponsorship. (thinking)

Less smart phones

21 March 2022

As smartphones are taking over more of our lives, some droids are rebelling and breaking free. An increasing number of people are eschewing smartphones for old skool mobile phones, dubbed dumbphones. And bloody good for them, says I.

The most obvious Star Trek story ever

17 March 2022

Any best of list or best ever selection is bound to be wreathed in subjectivity. Especially when considering such a long-running TV show as Star Trek and its spawn.

xxx?

15 March 2022

Vaccination was rarely discussed widely online before the pandemic. It's just not one of those subjects for most people.

You can't call me Al

15 March 2022

Musing on the passing of William Hurt, who received four Oscar nominations during his career: the only one of those films that I've seen is Broadcast News. It's definitely okay, and I didn't regret too much the time that I spent watching it. I never need see it again though.

Factoid: not trivial

14 March 2022

I really have no idea how this came to pass, but a little while ago I was musing on the use of factoid to describe a trivial piece of information. Or is it an item of misinformation? It turns out that the latter is the original definition, and the former is a USAsian adaptation. Hence the confusion: one word, two meanings…how typical of the English language.

Of gods and dwarves

2 March 2022

So, there's a great deal of bitchin', back-and-forth on social media, over Amazon's reimagining of J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings fantasy world. It's kinda funny, watching grown men and women, but mainly [cough] men, get so animated about the arcane details in stories of elves and dwarves. Hey-ho, if it floats their boats, at least it's harmless.

Sheep to be fleeced

1 March 2022

Disney has launched a new Star Wars experience at Disney World, Florida: the Galactic Starcruiser, a Star Wars–themed luxury hotel. It is luxuriously expensive. But, from the early reviews, it appears that the actual experience is not similarly luxurious.

Psst

25 February 2022

Quiet zones in public places or public transport: there's a clue in the name. And they're clearly signed, it's not kept secret.

His Royal Popness

25 February 2022

This week's BBC News quiz is teased with Which pop royalty will play this jubilee gig? Someone has an insanely liberal definition of pop royalty if the answer's George Ezra. (pipe)

Of mermaids and morons

20 February 2022

I was in Starbucks with my eldest daughter earlier today, when I got to thinking about the mermaid in the logo having two tails. Which is weird because, as any fool knows, mermaids only have one tail.

Trumped

17 February 2022

After buying Wordle from its developer, the New York Times sought to reassure fans that the gameplay will remain unchanged.

The NYT denied any changes to gameplay, but it did admit that it was in the process of removing "offensive words" which included whore, slave and wench from both the list of acceptable guesses and the answers.

Jane Wakefield, technology reporter, BBC News

Journalism or mental torture?

17 February 2022

Writing for BBC World's Table—another entry into the BBC's pantheon of WTF? subcategories—Richard Morgan asks: Is America's best restaurant in Puerto Rico? It's one of those unanswerable questions, no doubt about that.

Thought for the day: hedging your bets

14 February 2022

If you don't believe in a god and the afterlife, and you're wrong, you'll find out when you die. But, if you do believe, and you're wrong, how will you ever know? (thinking)

Going straight

11 February 2022

While looking at Oklahoma, for no apparent reason, I noticed that the states of Colorado and Wyoming appear to be perfect rectangles—apart from the odd slight wobble here and there, if you zoom in enough. Presumably, their borders were defined not so much by natural geological and geographical characteristics, but by simply drawing straight lines on a map.

It takes allsorts

11 February 2022

Prince Charles has had to call off his attendance at the unveiling of a statue in Winchester, after he contracted the WuFlu. The statue of Licoricia of Winchester was instead unveiled by a man in a fetching blue uniform.

Evalueserve

8 February 2022

I was sent a job description for a consulting company called Evalueserve, a company that I'd never heard of before. The job is to be located in the UK; except Evalueserve doesn't have a UK office.

Pretty 2

4 February 2022

Biiiiiiig flag!

Et Cetera

1 February 2022

On the few occasions that Todd in the Shadows reviews the musical mitherings of Chicago, and Peter Cetera's voice in particular, he doesn't use glowing terms. I know how he feels.

Halo, is it me you're looking for?

1 February 2022

A live-action TV series of the Halo game franchise is coming to the Paramount+ streaming service. The trailers are…grandiose and bombastic.

Medium

28 January 2022

Idly looking up the definition of medium, as is my wont, the macOS dictionary helpfully offered this little gem: the song soon discovers a happy medium between thrash and catchy pop.

I'm dead (not really)

28 January 2022

I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. (wine) (sad)

You'll believe a mong can fly

26 January 2022

In GAY IT FORWARD: Established Diversity Hires Escort A New Generation Of Diversity Hires Into Comics, Richard Meyer discusses the old boy network for comics' grifters.Hacks who get into writing comics through identity and representation, rather than more mundane traits; such as any talent for character development and storytelling, for example.

Downside up

23 January 2022

I ordered a couple of heavy items from an online retailer. Each was shipped separately in its manufacturer's carton, with an address label affixed.

Full Disclosure

20 January 2022

I've noted previously how BBC News seems to have lots of little compartments for its reporters. Some of these make sense—business and technology, for example—others less so—technology of business, anyone? And then we have BBC Disclosure. Or do we?

The balloon children

20 January 2022

As six Love Island contestants have been named by the Advertising Standards Authority, for consistently failing to disclose advertising on Instagram, my only thought was how the tight ponytails worn by Jess and Eve Gale made their heads look like party balloons.

Careless reading causes confusion

19 January 2022

I feel bad for this, but when I misread the byline as The resilience of a survivor of five suicide attempts, I couldn't understand why it was newsworthy. It makes a lot more sense when read carefully.

CS:CH

11 January 2022

One of the appliances in my pied-à-terre has gone on the blink. After almost a week, the service company has deigned to send an engineer to look at it tomorrow. FWP, eh?

The (international) shipping forecast

11 January 2022

It never ceases to amaze me: the parochiality of merkans when it comes to international shipping charges. I guess that it doesn't matter if it's outside the fifty states of the union.

What's in a Wordl?

5 January 2022

I had never heard of the online game, Wordle, until I read today that it will never become attention grabbing or advert laden, which is reassuring.

I'm No. 1

5 January 2022

For the first time in 90 years, General Motors is not the highest-selling car manufacturer in the US, the number one place in 2021 being taken by Toyota. Toyota were humble in victory, while GM were bullish in defeat.

Proof of god?

4 January 2022

DrNG offers me New Year Greetings! & New Insights., which is very kind of him. Not only that, but he thanks me for being immune, which suggests that he knows more about my health status than I do. Perhaps that's the insight he refers to? I'm not sure how creepy that is, to be honest.

Tarty tats

1 January 2022

I have been toying with getting a tattoo for ages.

Pandemic posting

31 December 2021

The pandemic lockdowns have resulted in increased levels of shit on the interwebz. This is not least in part due to me posting more. Much more. But only in terms of quantity, not quality. Fortunately, no one reads this garbage, so no innocent brain cells have been harmed in the course of the fiasco.

The good husband

29 December 2021

This morning, herself and I were in bed. I was laying down; she was sitting up, drinking tea.

Sky vs Sony: which hates me most?

22 December 2021

…or, rather, which is most indifferent to me?

Superstitious rail

18 December 2021

Despite having platforms 14–17 leading off its main concourse, Basel Hauptbahnhof doesn’t have a platform 13. Zürich Hauptbahnhof, however, does; and it's not just for show. It's fully-functioning, and I've boarded trains there. To Basel, ironically enough.

Live. Die. Repeat. Or not.

16 December 2021

It's a sad story. So I feel bad that my first thought, when spotting the link on the BBC home page, was puzzlement as to how one Indian housewife repeatedly kills herself.

Girl boss?

13 December 2021

My daughters went to see House of Gucci today.

Sound advice

9 December 2021

This is doing the rounds at the moment:

Pop music

8 December 2021

I have a Nespresso coffee machine. It takes little aluminium capsules that are pierced on one side as the receptacle is closed. As hot water is forced into the capsule, and then breaks through the foil on the other side, it makes a little pop.

MegaCorpCH no more

7 December 2021

Earlier this year, MegaCorpCH was sold. I can't remember the exact timeline, since it's lost in the mists of corporate lethargy. But, sometime in the summer, a committee of highly-paid, crack corporate nonentities announced that they'd decided on a new company name. It's a very clever name, derived from the Latin or Greek for something-or-other, and symbolising whatever-the-hell. Unfortunately, it's not particularly memorable or inspiring. But, at least it's home.

Helpful photo

6 December 2021

Herself and I were tag-teaming on the train today; she was set to arrive ten minutes after I departed. So, I left the car at the station. Unfortunately, the ticket machine was out of order, and I couldn't buy a ticket.

Klaus

6 December 2021

I watched Klaus last night with my eldest daughter. We both loved it.

By these four steps

6 December 2021

Don't you just hate supermarket carparks that are entered close to the store's doors, and then filter to the furthest part? Nobody seems to want to be sensible, and move on to the areas where there are plenty of available spaces, because that would involve walking. No, they have to dither as close to the store as possible, holding up everyone else as they fuck about trying to park their car. (angry)

Ready for anything

4 December 2021

Ghouls jus' wanna have fun

24 November 2021

Years ago, I saw a TV programme, hosted by Bill Oddie, on the interpretation of dreams. Apparently, dreaming of being naked in public has a specific meaning. I can't remember what it is, but Oddie was reenacting for the camera. Fortunately, he retained his underwear. Nevertheless, the very thought of him naked scared me off having that dream for years.

Fighter talk

11 November 2021

YouTube channel Military TV posted a completely pointless and contentious list, of The 10 Deadliest Planes of WWII. They confuse things somewhat, by adding WW 2 Fighter Planes to the end of the video's title, but we'll come back to that later.

Pride!

11 November 2021

No, not a hollow virtue signal over some physiological or psychological roll of the dice, an act of nature beyond control. This is about a real, genuine personal achievement; something that took hard work and dedication, not happenstance and grandstanding.

Bond theme songs

3 November 2021

Over the past couple of weeks, I haven't been able to get You Only Live Twice and Diamonds Are Forever out of my head. They seem to be stuck on repeat play. And that's not such a bad thing, I quite like them.

Bemmoth

1 November 2021

Another of those I know how it is moments.

Batty

1 November 2021

The pekapeka, or long-tailed bat (Chalinolobus tuberculatus (North Island)), has won the title of New Zealand's bird of the year. The victory has upset some people, who unironically took to Twitter—hohoho!—to complain. Nevertheless, the organisers of the poll, Forest & Bird, remain unrepentant.

Tess Holliday's morning workout routine

31 October 2021

Gotta keep training!

Flagging

29 October 2021

According to Tim Marshall, author of Worth Dying for: The Power and Politics of Flags, the American flag is reversed on military uniforms so that it always faces forward.

Guardians of the future

28 October 2021

At IMDb, they love themselves a little future-gazing. Here we are, in current year 2021, and they're asking what was—past tense—the title of 2023's Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 in Hindi. I'll submit my answer to the question in two years' time.

D1 R6 D1 S6

26 October 2021

In an otherwise dull and TLDR article, on the discovery of a planet candidate outside our own galaxy, one thing struck me. The name of one of the researchers, Dr Rosanne Di Stefano, is remarkable for its periodicity: D1 R6 D1 S6.

Laundered

22 October 2021

Much has been made of the media attention paid to the disappearance and murder of Gabby Petito, compared to that for black women. The BBC has to mention it every time they report on the story—except this time, naturally!—like some tic or idée fixe.

Must. Go. To. Bed.

22 October 2021

I misread the sign as direct-to-cucumber. WTF? (SMH)

Symbolic stupidity

16 October 2021

Perhaps it's a slow news day. Or perhaps someone, somewhere feels the need to tap into the zeitgeist. Thames Valley Police have reassured motorists that diversionary road signs at Junction 5 on the M4 will not take them to Squid Game. (rolleyes)

Beebbait

13 October 2021

I've long noticed headlines on BBC News' home page being couched as questions, rather than statements. They try to engender interest in fluff pieces that cover evidently uninteresting subjects, or ones that (can) reach no definitive conclusion.

"Time just gets away from us"

12 October 2021

Every so often, you come across something that reminds you of the passing of time and old friends…and of your own mortality. Like this comment on the ending of the Coen brothers' True Grit.

Change monkey: change for the sake of it

12 October 2021

I hadn't realised that Apple have released a new version of iOS. So, when my 'phone announced a new update was available, I absent-mindedly installed it. Oh, bugger!

B-movie

6 October 2021

In other non-news, Jerry Seinfeld has apologised for a certain uncomfortable subtle sexual aspect in Dreamworks' Bee Movie. This just goes to show how out-of-touch and tone-deaf he is.

Melting ice

6 October 2021

Disney has come under fire for promoting the upcoming Ice Age: Adventures of Buck Wild on Disney+, only six months after closing Blue Sky Studios, its subsidiary that created Ice Age and its four sequels. Disney took control of the studio when it acquired 21st Century Fox in 2019. To put this into context, the last instalment to the declining franchise was released half a decade ago, and its better days are even longer gone.

Catwahmxn

5 October 2021

Zoë Kravitz will play the role of Catwoman in Warner Bros' upcoming The Batman, against Robert Pattinson as the titular character. Asked whether she'd seen all the other Batman films, Kravitz had this to say:

Keeping it in the family

29 September 2021

Certain enclaves within Switzerland have traditionally kept it in the family, so to speak. Historically, this was because communities were isolated, by difficult terrain for example. But even our village, which isn't hard to get to, has several headstones in its graveyard dedicated to an entombed Kistler-Kistler. Kistler is the predominant family in the village; there's a lot of them.

Measure for measure

21 September 2021

According to the instructions, 850 mL is equivalent to 1½ pints, and 425 mL is approximately ¾ pint.

Representation, arse

20 September 2021

Apropos of nothing in particular, just getting this down, really.

Racist sweatpants

15 September 2021

In support of my earlier observation, that people don't know the meaning of racist, comes a report of the Balenciaga fashion house facing criticism, for nothing more than a $1,190 (£860) pair of sweatpants it sells rips off black culture.

Pegged out

14 September 2021

Ah yes, indeed. There's nothing quite like a privileged, vacuous, and inconsequential model wearing a provocative slogan to have absolutely no impact whatsoever. Other than getting their photograph selected by similarly vacuous and inconsequential entertainment reporters. At least the visibility's good for the career.

99%

13 September 2021

The residents of one of the flats in my block have a banner hanging from their balcony, declaring We Are The 99%. But it doesn't state what it is that they're the 99% of.

Abnormal piercing

26 August 2021

The ad offers Jewellery & Piercings Online. But how do you get pierced online? (thinking)

If you manage the micros, the macros will manage themselves

24 August 2021

When I first spoke with my current line manager, after he joined the company, he assured me that he's not a micromanager. If that's true, then he certainly demonstrates micromanaging tendencies. Is there anyone less inspiring than a man, or woman, with a tracking spreadsheet? I think it's a sign of insecurity, or not having enough real work to keep them gainfully occupied.

Comics for dummies

24 August 2021

Richard Meyer is an independent comic book writer, or artist, or both. Something like that. He has a YouTube channel where he talks about comics. I don't know why YouTube throws this shit up at me, but it does.

Tinfoil communications

22 August 2021

Writing for BBC Worklife (Remote Control subdivision), Mark Johanson explores whether your work messages are as private as you think. It seems like a strange question to ask, to be honest.

Days of future passed

20 August 2021

On behalf of BBC Future, Chris Baraniak examines how future generations may study us. Just as past and current historians have relied on the written records of previous generations, future historians may judge us through social media posts, algorithms, and conspiracy theories.

Sketchy

19 August 2021

As R&B singer R. Kelly goes on trial in New York, accused of racketeering, sexual abuse, and bribery, this sketch is released from the courtroom.

To chirp, or not to Chirp

17 August 2021

A recent interface redesign has left Twitter users complaining of headaches and discomfort. The illegibility of a newly-designed typeface, Chirp, hasn't helped those with impaired vision.

IncIS

13 August 2021

After a mass shooting in Plymouth, in which five people were killed by a man who described himself as being beaten down and defeated by life, the UK general population has been introduced to an emerging subclass of society, the incel.

Ouch!

12 August 2021

Reporting for BBC Ouch, Drew Miller Hyndman relates the story of Sweet Anita, a Twitch gamer with Tourette's syndrome. Anita has coprolalia, which makes sufferers involuntarily say offensive things, like swearing. Twitch has been very understanding, which means that Anita is the only white person on the platform who can say nigger without getting their sorry arse roasted and banned to hell.

Nun the wiser

12 August 2021

It's just occurred to me that Merkans can spell prey, but not grey.

Verbing

6 August 2021

I was musing on people turning non-verbs into verbs.

Iron Giant is bestester

6 August 2021

Internet dweebs have mocked the BBC, after a tweet by BBC Sport from the Tokyo Olympics confused a Gundam statue with a Transformer.

Space cock

5 August 2021

Blue Origin plans to take tourists into space aboard rocket-powered dildos.

A test of oldness

5 August 2021

If someone asks you for your age when you're young, you respond immediately, almost without thinking.

Yours competently

4 August 2021

In The coded language that holds women back at work, Christine Ro explores words keeping women down, or something like that. It's a fairly typical fluff piece for BBC Equality Matters. One that I don't doubt was previously published elsewhere, and which I didn't find sufficiently interesting to finish reading. But I did skip-read this far:

Too many cooks

29 July 2021

According to Stéphane at YouTube channel French Cooking Academy, people are either bakers or cooks. This got me thinking.

McRon

24 July 2021

My eldest daughter asked me why I don't eat McDonalds'. I told her that, other than the food being shit, it's because I cannot abide Ronald McDonald. Which is true.

Pot luck (marijuana)

3 July 2021

When US sprinter Sha'Carri Richardson tested positive for cannabis, her qualifying result from the US Olympic trials was expunged, jeopardising her attendance at the Tokyo Olympics.

There, but for the letter 'h'

24 June 2021

A claim that a South African woman had given birth to decuplets has been shown to be false. The woman in question, Gosiame Sithole, is now being held for observation under the mental health act.

Straight talking

18 June 2021

Autonomous sensory meridian response, or ASMR. It's one of those nonsense terms that every time I come across it I have to look up the definition, because my brain cannot retain illogical words and phrases. Another one is gaslighting, a word that bears no relation to its current meaning. I hear it, don't undertand it, look it up, and then just as quickly forget it. As for jumping the shark, WTF?

Going with plan B

3 June 2021

Natalie Quail is the chief executive of SmileTime, a company that sells dental cosmetic products. When she established the company in 2019, she included a backup plan to bring in alternative suppliers should her primary supply be disrupted. She envisioned the possibility of war, or weather, impacting the long supply chain from her primary suppliers in China.

Misheard lyrics

2 June 2021

I have absolutely no idea how this happened, or why I'm forced to suffer so, but earlier today I was thinking about England Dan and John Ford Coley's I'd Really Love To See You Tonight. I didn't like it back in the '70s when it was released, and my opinion hasn't mellowed much over the intervening years; even as age and fatherhood have turned me into a sentimental old fart.

Doris the Minor

12 April 2021

Today I learned, through a combination of web forum surfing and Wiki-whacking, that Herod the Great's wife was named Doris. Or, more accurately, one of his wives—for he had several.

Secure pawswords

9 April 2021

According to a survey by the UK's National Cyber Security Centre, millions of Britons use their pet's name as their online password. (shock)

Dodging a bullet?

8 January 2021

As Trump Republicans invade the Capitol, outgoing US President Donald Trump snubs the inauguration of President-Elect Biden, while also facing calls for a second impeachment and to be thrown out of office. And, thus, one of the most divisive US presidencies comes to an inglorious end. Not that it was too auspicious at the best of times.

Ribbing

4 January 2021

I can't recall what I was searching for, but I was amused by this still from Supergirl (1984) that cropped up anyway.

Goodbye MCU

28 December 2020

Iron Man and his MCU friends have been entertaining us since he first came to the screen in 2008—just don't mention either of Hulk's solo outings. For better or worse, some of those films have helped define the summer blockbuster. But, while Disney Marvel plans many more instalments of the franchise, I don't think I'll be following along.

Taking one for the team

22 December 2020

My youngest daughter is a true PotterHead. She's read all of the books and watched all of the films. Several times. On rotation. My psychotic sister gave her Harry Potter Trivial Pursuit for Christmas last year, presumably because she hates us. (thinking)

Streaming up the lampost

8 December 2020

AT&T, which owns Warner Media, has a bit of a cash flow problem. It has $164 billion of debt, which I think is funny because such a number shouldn't be allowed to exist. As a consequence, and in a desperate attempt to recoup massive film budgets during a period when audiences cannot or will not visit the cinema, Warner Bros' entire 2021 release slate will be dumped straight to its streaming service, HBO Max.

Coming out

4 December 2020

Finding strength from Elliot Page's brave lead, I'm ready to come out. I identify as a chicken. My name is Clucky, and my pronouns are bock/BAAWK.

Ghost in the machine

1 December 2020

Presh Talwalkar's Mind Your Decisions channel has only recently come to my random YouTube recommendations, so puzzles that prove that mathematicians believe in ghosts is now five years old. But puzzle 1 is annoying, because its solution is fundamentally wrong.

The mathematics of co-working

23 November 2020

Presh Talwalkar at Mind Your Decisions introduces us to a common co-worker problem in Most US College Students Cannot Solve This Basic Math Problem. The Working Together Riddle.

I have a dream…

1 September 2020

…that one day I'll be LinkedOut.

Just think of the children!

26 August 2020

Contentious, or just straight-out whacked children's names are nothing new. But, sometimes parents don't have to be trying too hard to potentially spoil their child's hopes of love, employment, and future happiness.

Bombs away!

3 August 2020

While perusing Wingnut Wings' Gotha G.1 photographic archive, I came across this image of a 50kg Carbonit bomb mounted below the wing.

Benign incompetence

3 August 2020

Is there a word for it? It's a trait exhibited by many people, not least myself, whereby despite your best effort, you still manage to do something so badly that you never get asked to do it again. I don't mean deliberately screwing things up to avoid future repeat requests, just benignly and without malice.

'Phone upgrade?

27 July 2020

I currently have an Apple iPhone. Fear not, gentle reader, for I don't consider that to be something to boast about—those days are long gone, if they ever really existed—I just state it as a matter of fact. I started out with a 5s, and had, at the time, the most powerful, up-to-date 'phone in my family; which, since our daughters were too young to have their own 'phones, meant compared to my wife, who had a 5c.

Lush life

23 July 2020

Walking down Freie Strasse in Basel, it's impossible to not notice the Lush shop, by smell, if nothing else. Pretty much like Lush shops everywhere, I suspect.

Cures

23 July 2020

The COVID-19 pandemic has engendered vast commercial and academic research into its control. The financial and PR gains of finding the cure will be enormous, bordering on stratospheric:*

Masking the joy

15 July 2020

Part of the thrill is letting it all out. This doesn't look like fun to me.

When is an aircraft carrier not an aircraft carrier?

26 June 2020

The UK's National Audit Office warns that the Royal Navy's two new Queen Elizabeth class aircraft carriers, costing £3bn apiece, may not be fully funded. Although the ships themselves are there, the resources to have them completely operational—including the full complement of Lockheed Martin F35 Lightning II multirole combat aircraft—are not.

And speaking of vacuous

14 June 2020

I received a sampler of a masculine fragrance called Fusion D'Issey by Issey Miyake. According to the packaging, it's The Scent Of Nature In Fusion. Enlightened? No? Then try this:

Unmotivational

20 April 2020

In 2014, Admiral William H. McRaven (retd) gave the graduation address at the University of Texas, Austin. It's highly regarded as a motivational speech. It is, indeed, excellent, and well worth watching.

¡Oh, mierda! (marijuana)

6 April 2019

A study of cannabis sold in Madrid has shown the majority of samples tested to contain dangerous levels of faecal matter.

Coccyx and bawl story

27 March 2019

If you read the headline How lunch with a friend caused years of trauma, you might expect something out of the ordinary. Could it be that the friend turned into a butter knife-wielding psychopath? Or there at least be a story of chronic dysentery?

Sproutalicious

28 February 2019

I can't recall how I got here, but Paddy McAloon, who is currently all of Prefab Sprout, was talking to BBC Newsnight for some reason or another. I was never a fan; other than Cars and Girls, which is a great song.

No common cents

8 February 2019

They weren't too bright, those nineteenth century Bostonians. This menu from Frank's Dining Rooms—Boston's only establishment offering first class, low price dining—clearly divided into five and ten cent dishes, has the price next to each item, just to make sure they got it. Ouch!

The person who I feel most sorry for

9 October 2017

Hollywood mogul Harvey Weinstein is accused of multiple sexual assaults. It's a bit of a mess, really, isn't it?

Little and Large

23 June 2017

I was returning from a business trip to Brussels—as if there was any other reason to go to Brussels, for it is a shithole—on a 3+3-configured flight the other day. The two seats next to me were empty, which is always nice. But the plane hadn't finished boarding, as two middle-aged women approached. One of them was short and petite, while the other…wasn't.

The Bear necessities

11 June 2017

Babe and alleged actress, Alicia Silverstone, explains to PEOPLE Magazine that her decision to raise her son, Bear Blu, on a vegan diet was, like herself: such a no-brainer.

Worst song ever?

12 May 2017

Rob Tannenbaum, writing for GQ, has declared Starship's We Built This City to be the worst song of all time. I'm not sure what objective criteria he used to arrive at this conclusion, but hey ho.

Trump vs Trudeau

16 January 2017

The BBC has run a fluff piece on five areas where Canada's prime minister Justin Trudeau and US President-elect Donald Trump have common ground.

Nuclear doughnuts

4 October 2015

While on holiday in Portugal, my daughters have become accustomed, if not addicted, to Panrico Donuts [sic]. These things seem to have a shelf-life measured in millennia. And that's without refrigeration. God knows what's in them, but they must be packed to the gunnels with preservatives.

Dumb question

20 May 2015

BBC News rather pointedly asks: Why do US police keep killing unarmed black men?

Deadly cricketing injuries

30 November 2014

For anyone, including myself, who thought that cricket was possibly more tedious and less dangerous than watching paint dry, come two poignant events that dispel the myth. Only days after Australian batsman Philip Hughes died after being struck in the neck by a bouncer, Israeli umpire Hillel Oscar died after being struck in the neck by a freak ricochet from a batsman's shot.

Star treatment

1 August 2013

Two bodies, of a man and a woman, have been found at the five-star Scotsman Hotel in Edinburgh, in what has been described as an ongoing chemical incident. The police have not ruled out suicide.

Smile, but only if you're in the bright bit

20 July 2013

The space probe Cassini, which is in orbit around Saturn, will take a photo of Earth on Friday. You are invited to wave and smile.

Join the club!

10 July 2013

Maserati is one of those exclusive marques that has been restricted to the seriously wealthy. At least until now.

How much porn is on the web?

2 July 2013

Mark Ward asks this very question on behalf of BBC News, although I'm not sure why.

Pretty

1 July 2013

The Moon reached its perigee, the closest it gets to Earth during its orbit and a time when it can seem unusually large in the sky. The result of an optical illusion IIRC.

The Dark Side

13 April 2013

Mondo sadness…I have purchased a Windoze computer! (sad)

Wanted

9 March 2013

I finally got around to watching Wanted. It's a reasonably good film, fun and exciting with a novel turn. But it's badly let down by a terrible last line from the antagonist, as he realises that he's been set up for assassination: Oh, fuck!

An artist's view

23 February 2013

Astronomers have discovered the smallest planet as yet identified beyond our solar system.

That's nice

15 February 2013

I received this message from Amazon UK today:

The perils of weightlessness

6 November 2012

If your ideal weight is 70kg and you're 70kg overweight, you have a problem.

Is this really the world's ugliest building?

2 November 2012

The Ryugyong Hotel, in the North Korean capital, Pyongyang, has had an unfortunate start in life. Construction of the 105 storey, 330 metre high building, the 47^th tallest in the world, commenced in 1987 and it's still not finished.

Misleading advertising shock!

30 October 2012

The ad states intelligently funny tees, with a model wearing Leonardo da Vinci's Vitruvian Man playing a guitar. It's neither particularly intelligent nor funny, but at least it's a T-shirt.

Skeuomorphism

30 October 2012

I don't normally care much for the political machinations at the top of companies, most of it's too arcane and divorced from my life. But my heart leapt with joy to read of the imminent departure of Scott Forstall from the executive leadership at Apple. Admittedly, Forstall did some good things while at Apple, overseeing iOS. But he was apparently a bastard to work with; was at the helm during the disastrous introduction of Apple's own mapping software and Siri; and, above all, was largely responsible for the introduction of the skeuomorphic user interface in a number of iOS, and later OS X, applications.

Some people are never satisfied

30 October 2012

Baidu, China's largest search engine, has announced a 60% increase in net income for Q3/2012 compared to Q3/2011. Financial market analysts, however, seem to be oddly pessimistic:

Bemorecreativegate

4 September 2012

Ever since the Watergate scandal, lazy journalists and politicians have referred to controversies as whatevergate. The Iran-Contra affair was Irangate, there's been more than one memogate, while the UK had both hackgate and murdochgate for one affair, and France had Twittergate. And there are many, many others.

Should I become gay?*

17 August 2012

MegaCorpUSA, in an effort at inclusion, has set up a gay and lesbian and allies group, to spread awareness, if not interesting diseases. Apparently, the network exists for the positive advancement of gay and lesbian issues, and Their goal for this year is to establish themselves further…and increase the number of members. So I think they're asking people to become ~~gay~~homosexual.

Wears the gear stick

5 May 2012

If I'm following a car being driven in a gay way, I enter into a mental conversation with the driver.

First irrefutable evidence for the Galactic Empire

15 March 2012

It wasn't fiction after all, but it may have happened in the past, not the future. Galactic Empire stormtroopers obviously had helmets designed for their odd skull shape.

Al Jolson gets Islamic

13 March 2012

<aljo>Climb up on my knee, Sunni muslim</aljo>

The Global Shopfront Library

7 March 2012

Through glorious happenstance I have inadvertently discovered The Global Shopfront Library.

The blind leading the blind

13 February 2012

Braille is apparently becoming more common, even on toilet doors to denote ladies and gents. This in itself is a huge step forward in reducing embarrassment for the blind needing a pee.

Glad I'm a freeloader

17 January 2012

The English version of Wikipedia/Wikipaedia/Wikipædia will be offline for 24 hours as Jimmy Wales and like-minded friends protest anti-piracy legislation in merka. This is after he stated that he wouldn't use Wikipædia for political purposes. All of which makes me glad that I didn't give the little shitstain any money after all.

Heil Kitler!

29 July 2011

Kitler is a ikkle wikkle puddy tat, who bears an unfortunate resemblance to the Führer, and is having difficulty finding a loving home as a consequence. I suspect that her chances would be vastly improved if she stopped saluting!

Odd spam

9 June 2011

I received quite a strange spam invite entitled Exclusive Invite For New Social Nertwork for professionals.

OED LOL

8 April 2011

LOL has been added to the Oxford English Dictionary, along with OMG. Dear ol' Auntie Beeb's report on this momentous occasion doesn't indicate whether OMFG, LULZ, and PIMP also made the cut. We can only hope.

It was never like that in my day

4 March 2011

…my college days, that is.

Death & taxes

28 January 2011

It's said that there are only two inevitables in life: death & taxes.

Very generous, but could you really spend it?

24 January 2011

Gail Davis of Orpington, Kent downloaded the 10 Billionth app from Apple's App Store, and as the winner of the App Store Countdown to 10 Billion Apps will receive a $10,000 iTunes^® gift card.

Fnarr fnarr!

20 January 2011

Not having a TV that plays anything other than DVDs—i.e. we don't have broadcast televisual entertainment as you know it—I know nothing of these Inbetweeners chappies. I do know of Comic Relief though. It's the sort of thing that makes me happy not to have broadcast televisual entertainment. But I digress.

Buster Bloodvessel: 'im not gorn (I think)

10 November 2010

Through mindless surfing, I can't remember how it started, I came across this archive, the subtitle of which made me laugh:

Herstory

29 October 2010

I can't recall how I came across herstory, but it made me laugh anyway. As a politically-correct term for history viewed through a feminist lens, or a demasculinisation of history, it's nonsensical. It seems to be predicated on the notion that history is somehow innately masculine—because it's got his in it, innit?

HBCH (happy birthday, Switzerland)

1 August 2010

Today is Swiss National Day, the celebration of the first federation. We went to a farm brunch and then had friends over. And a very nice way to spend Sunday it was too.

The importance of the letter 's'

26 July 2010

In an otherwise dull Hollywood legal story, the name of lawyer Michael Plonsker struck me as a matter of if-not-good-it-could-have-been-worse luck.

Random

23 July 2010

Okay, so say you have a pet chicken.

The scoop on the poop

26 May 2010

Apparently streets awash with dog poo and vagrants isn't much of an incentive and, consequently, London has slipped to 39^th spot on the world's cities in terms of quality of living.

I (heart) Eyjafjallajökull

11 May 2010

I was supposed to go to Madrid today for meetings tomorrow. I was dreading it, because not only do I not enjoy business travel particularly, but the last couple of days have been pretty emotionally charged for the girls. Yesterday was my eldest daughter's 5^th birthday—how can my baby be 5?—and today is my, significantly more than fifth, birthday. The girls were quite upset about me having to leave today, and I wasn't exactly brimming with enthusiasm either.

Browser wars: why does it matter?

5 May 2010

The BBC reports on Internet Explorer's declining market share, although it's still the dominant web browser at around 60%. But why does it matter? Other than the time-honoured arguments of security and standards, why should anyone care whether people use IE or any other browser?

Financial crisis? What financial crisis?

30 April 2010

Senior staff at the US Securities and Exchange Commission have been taking some downtime from the financial crisis, with a little pr0n-fuelled R 'n' R.

OMG, there's more of them out there, just waiting…waiting…

16 March 2010

Just when you thought that the interwebz were awash enough with dumb yanks, it turns out that a third of the poor souls don't have broadband at home. But they shall not weep, for the US government shall provide. Although perhaps this is over-egging the pudding a tad:

Fred Morrison, pretender to Xena's crown

13 February 2010

Fred Morrison, self-styled inventor of the Frisbee, has died aged 90. He claimed to have invented the flying toy disc while playing with a tin lid with his girlfriend.

The colour grey

15 January 2010

Euronews would be vastly improved if it was fronted by Antoine de Caunes and Jean-Paul Gaultier. Because, as it is, it is boring.

I have a 12" penis, but I don't use it as a rule

10 November 2009

Those who can, do; those who can't, teach. Oft said, but it doesn't really apply to driving instructors. Or at least I hope it doesn't!

I name this spoon

7 April 2009

Ikea even go so far as to name their soddin' spoons FFS. And they're all called Ivan (or whatever).

Facebook

1 March 2009

I received an invite from someone who I'd briefly exchanged emails with about two years ago, asking me to be their friend on Facebook. And all I'd have to do is join first.

Toilet seat wars

26 May 2008

Don't you just hate it when men leave the toilet seat up, ladies?

TLA is a TLA

15 February 2008

IDK; IRL; FTW; TMI…internet culture is littered with three-letter acronyms, or TLA.

Short attention span

24 June 2005

Driving in to work today, I was musing on the wide range of makes of car on the roads and how, through mergers and acquisitions, there are actually relatively few major car manufacturers.

Cringeworthy scenes in films

9 May 2005

I don't know why, but last night I got to thinking about scenes in otherwise (half‑)decent films which really make you cringe. I'm not talking about films which are totally cringeworthy, just those that are otherwise okay.

I'd like a 'P' please, Bob

20 April 2005

Strangely, I was looking for ways to make yummy processed peas, like tinned marrowfat peas, because we can't get them easily in Switzerland. During my research, I happened across guidance from the Food and Agriculture Organisation and World Health Organisation on processed pea standards. I kid you not.

A joke, of sorts

7 February 2005

This came to me last night, it might be old, it might actually be a work of my creative genius, dunno:

Loonies

3 February 2005

There was a time, not so long ago gentle reader, when you could easily spot the loonies. They were the ones walking down the street talking to themselves. Give 'em a wide berth and you were safe.

Living with Boris

11 January 2005

On a couple of occasions at the supermarket, over the last few months, I've had difficulty in focussing on the items on the shelves. Not so much visually as mentally, it all becomes a sickening blur.

Poor kid, no future (sad)

5 January 2005

Studies suggest that babies who are fed an aural diet of classical music during pregnancy have higher than average intelligence—or something else that's good. I've forgotten the details.

Out of office

30 December 2004

hahaha…just got this out of office message from a female colleague:

Sequel, the first

27 December 2004

Structured Query Language, or SQL, is the programming language used to interrogate relational databases. But how does one pronounced SQL when discussing it?

TXT MSG SPK

15 November 2004

I fkn h8 txt msg spk in online reviews—Amazon, in this case. I mean, if you can't be arsed to write properly, why bother?

Security checkpoints

10 November 2004

Okay, not so much security checkpoints because they more often than not play an important role. The problem is with the cockheads who know they have to show their security pass but, instead of having it ready, dick around looking in pockets, bags, and glove boxes. Coming in to work today, I got stuck behind two cars where the driver had to hunt for their pass. I mean, that fucking checkpoint has been there for years, what the hell were they expecting? (furious)

Staplers that don't

8 November 2004

…staple, that is.

I (heart) religion (ish)

20 May 2004

Right, so along with man's greed for territory and mineral deposits, religion has got to be the greatest cause of war, death, and human misery. And they ring the fekkin' church bells on Sunday.

Unfortunate typo

8 April 2004

A US manufacturer sent me an e-mail with contact details for their European distributor, a guy called Jon Blows.

10lb of shit in a 5lb bag

23 March 2004

Girls showing midriff is okay if they're fit, but why do they do it when they have a roll of flab hanging over their jeans? It's just bad taste really.

Punching the air

1 January 2004

Herself was watching Air Force One on TV last night. Shit, I'd forgotton how bad that film was. But the scene at the end where all the backroom boys show how happy they are, by jumping around and punching the air, was indeed most risible.

Have you ever stolen a towel from a hotel?

23 December 2003

I was in a hotel Sunday night, and thought about how, even if I wasn't such an honest soul, I wouldn't steal the towels from most hotels coz they're like effing sandpaper. (sad)

Buying stuff online while drunk

6 December 2003

A couple of weeks ago I bought The Siege from Play.com, while I was rat-arsed.

Legalese

10 November 2003

I was reading a message from a lawyer this morning. It wasn't a legal document as such, just an email to update a domain name registration. And it got me thinking…who, other than a lawyer, would use a word like pursuant in everyday communication?

Spam (mad)

3 September 2003

Since 27 August I've had 1108 messages offering me everything from generic viagra, to an extra 3" for my best friend; from teen pr0n, to cheap mortgages. Most of these talk in terms of US$ and deliver, where applicable, to the 50 states of the Union.