This is my truth

I could tell ya, but what's in it for me?

There are 246 posts tagged: politics

The princess and the prune
13 June 2024

I don't understand the attraction to Orange Don. Yet he's pulled a babe to host his POTUS24 fundraiser in London, of all places.

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Be careful what you wish for…
24 May 2024

At the beginning of this year, Elon Musk offered a dire warning that Chinese car makers would demolish competitors from other countries if there were no trade barriers. And it appears that 'Pa Joe's carers must've been listening, for just last week the US announced increased tariffs on imports of electric vehicles from China.

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Weak constitution
23 May 2024

Ex-president of South Africa, Jacob Zuma, has lashed out at the country's Constitutional Court, after he was barred from running for parliament. His candidacy contravened the constitution, so naturally the 82-year-young leader of his own party is calling for the constitution to be changed.

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Flagging a dead horse
14 May 2024

The Eurovision Song Contest has been and supposedly passed. All the same, it's not going gentle into that good night. At least the controversies add a little spice to the event's usual blandness.

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Here we go gathering nuts in May
14 May 2024

The EU is doing its bit to counter deforestation and climate change. Yay the grey men (and women) of Brussels! In order to keep Greta Thunberg happy, and the rest of us on the straight and narrow, the bloc's introduced Regulation (EU) 2023/1115.*

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Europission
11 May 2024

It's that time of year again, folks. The time in question being the one when each country in Europe enters a—generally terrible—song into a competition to find the least bad. And because this is the Eurovision Song Contest, Israel's in the running. Wait, what? (confused)

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Talk like a Nazi (hitler)
8 May 2024

A BBC News story today about the far right in Germany led me to another on one of its leaders being tried for using a Nazi slogan at a rally: Alles für Deutschland!

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Freedom: a matter of perspective
3 May 2024

Presidential Medals of Freedom, the US equivalent of top gongs for doing the day job. And 'Pa Joe's giving out nineteen of those suckers, although not all recipients will be in attendance.

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Rapper's delight
30 April 2024

Announced on the BBC's home page: Iranian rapper sentenced to death. It seems harsh, but not unreasonable.

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Impermanent permanence
30 April 2024

A tale of fallen glory and fortitude among the German Bundesliga, as the once mighty Schalke descend to the lower levels of the second division and fight off relegation, is accompanied by this unfortunate choice of words:

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Dumza rock
29 April 2024

News that Scotland's first minister, Humza Youseless Yousaf, has resigned his position after only thirteen months in office, is accompanied by the factette that he outlasted the shortest serving first minister, Henry McLeish, by a mere three weeks. Neither of them was even trying in comparison to Liz Truss, of course.

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The students are revolting
26 April 2024

Students the length and breadth of the US have come out in protest over the Israeli genocide in Gaza. It's just too precious. There they are in their camps outside colleges demonstrating; disrupting classes; rioting; getting arrested, and the only meaningful effect they're having is to the detriment of their education. These children just aren't too bright.

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Slovak not Slovakian
25 April 2024

Having accused it of political activism and a lack of objectivity in its reporting, the Slovak government plans to abolish the nation's public broadcaster, Rozhlas a televízia Slovenska (RTVS), and replace it with a new body, Slovenská televízia a rozhlas (STVR). Quite the creative name change there, with no possibility for confusion. (rolleyes)

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Keep it in the family
24 April 2024

Old King Cock has awarded top gongs to his wife, son, and daughter-in-law. But this is not for simply doing the day job. Oh no. According to the BBC's royal(ty) correspondent,* this move will be seen as an acknowledgement of those keeping up official duties when royal numbers are diminished. Hmmm I'm not sure how that's different to their day jobs, such as they are, but ne'ermind.

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Arrogant pollie vs 'arrogant billionaire'
23 April 2024

I have in the past expressed my antipathy for Elon Musk as a filthy-rich twat who makes ugly electric vehicles and interferes in the politics of nation states. But I've warmed to him in his new role as defender of free speech and pricker of hubris. And none so much as him going in to bat against Australia's government and eSafety Commissioner over their nanny state censorship.

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Jerusalem (palestine)
17 April 2024

About a week ago, Apple released a fun little update to iOS that automagically suggests the Palestinian flag emoji when iPhone users type Jerusalem. Apparently, not everyone was amused by this little performance enhancement. At least one trivial celebrity, Rachel Riley (who?), took to X to voice her opinion:

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Pervy politicos
10 April 2024

William Wragg, one of Westminster's politicos caught up in a honeytrap plot, has resigned the Conservative Party whip, after admitting being blackmailed into divulging colleagues' phone numbers.

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Swiss miss
9 April 2024

Under the headline European court rules human rights violated by climate inaction, Georgina Rannard reports that the European Court of Human Rights has ruled that the Swiss government violated the human rights of a group of elderly Swiss women. It did so by failing to act quickly enough to address climate change. This is, apparently, the first time the ECHR has ruled on global warming.

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Megacorp vs megagovt
3 April 2024

M$ is to separate its Office and Teams application packages, in face of antitrust investigations by the European Commission.

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Starmer drama
2 April 2024

J.K. Rowling hit out on social media on Monday, after the Hate Crime and Public Order (Scotland) Act came into force north of the England/Scotland border.

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Whop-arse: a dish best served cold
27 March 2024

The BBC News headline proclaims: Disney and DeSantis allies end legal dispute over control of theme park. It sounds like a rapprochement, doesn't it? The real lead, however, is buried in the penultimate paragraph:

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Transparency in democracy
18 March 2024

After his landslide victory to claim a fifth term as president of the Russian Federation, with a stunning 87+% of the vote, Vladimir Putin declared that Russia's democracy was more transparent than many in the West.

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TikTok BOOM!
13 March 2024

The US proposes to ban TikTok, because it represents a security risk and turns users into zombies, unless the Chinese owner ByteDance sells the platform…presumably to an American company. I can see how its sale might reduce the security threat, if there is such a thing. Its users will remain zombies though.

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Reaction farce
11 March 2024

Haiti is descending into anarchy. As the country's unelected prime minister is away raising foreign support for military intervention, gangs have taken over the capital and effectively the airport, preventing his return.

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You'll always find me in the kitchen at State of the Union rebuttals
8 March 2024

After a woman gave the Republican response to 'Pa Joe's State of the Union address, from her kitchen, a former Trump White House communications adviser took umbrage:

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It's better to remain silent and appear a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt
9 February 2024

One reason for not pursuing criminal charges against 'Pa FJB, despite evidence to support a prosecution, offered by the special counsel investigating his shenanigans after he left office in 2017, was that a jury would sympathise with him as a well-meaning, elderly man with a poor memory.

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Tits for tats
30 January 2024

Nine News (9News), an Australian news service, has been strongly criticised for editing a photo of a female member of Victoria's state parliament wearing a sundress, to enhance her breasts and show a little more skin. As if her heavily tattooed arms weren't feast enough for the eyes already.

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Souperlative
28 January 2024

There must be something about artworks mounted behind protective glass that stirs the passions of environmental protesters into throwing things. Do you really have to be a cynic to think that they're only after media attention without risk of causing any actual damage to the works themselves, and thereby to themselves and their cause? A cheap, low-energy, low-stakes publicity grab, as it were.

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Man-o-manosphere
16 January 2024

Gender-based violence is a significant problem in Kenya, linked by some to the violent manosphere perpetuating misogyny online. As feminism destroys the patriarchy, a vacuum forms, leaving some men feeling emasculated and displaced.

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It pays to be boss
4 January 2024

According to the High Pay Centre, FTSE 100 bosses earn the UK average salary in three days, which means they can now take the rest of the year off. They've earned it.

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Gay bias
3 January 2024

The president of Harvard University has been forced to resign, following allegations of plagiarism in her doctoral thesis and a none-too-stellar performance during a congressional hearing on antisemitism. Her critics further claim that, as a black woman, Dr Claudine Gay got her position through the social justice model of higher education.

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Five minus one
22 December 2023

Writing for BBC Worklife, Alex Christian examines some of this year's high-level business fuck-ups, in Five cautionary tales of business leadership in 2023.

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Three's a crowd
14 December 2023

The chairman of Florida's state Republican Party and his wife, herself the co-founder of a conservative political organisation and a school board member, have been exposed as having a long-standing ménage à trois with another woman. All of this came to light only when the woman brought charges of rape and battery against the husband. They've gotta be Christians.

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The king and 'im
2 December 2023

Following a little diplomatic spat between the British and Greek prime ministers over the Elgin Marbles—or Parthenon Sculptures, I'm not sure which*—Old King Cock addressed the delegates of COP(out)28 while wearing a tie emblazoned with the Greek flag. Buckingham Palace denied it was a coded message to Rishi Sunak, suggesting instead that the choice was random.

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Dang it, Bobby
1 December 2023

In an interview with Andrew Ross Sorkin at The New York Times' DealBook Summit, Elon Musk laid into advertisers who were boycotting X over comments on Israel in the wake of the Israeli invasion of Gaza. He selected Disney and its CEO, Bob Iger, for special attention:

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Free Speech For People (of whom we approve)
31 October 2023

Free Speech For People is a [US] non-profit non-partisan organization that envisions a democratic process in which all people have an equal voice and an equal vote. This must be why they're advocating for Donald Trump to be disqualified from running in the 2024 presidential election, under Section 3 of the Fourteenth Amendment: so that his supporters can have an equal voice and an equal vote. Oh, hang on a minute…

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Commemorate the date
4 October 2023

Chinese authorities are removing a photo of two of its athletes embracing at the Asian Games from the interwebz. Or, at least, the part lying behind the Great Firewall of China.

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Hunter's gun (charge)
3 October 2023

She may be disdainful of language etiquette, and of transparency in reporting and editing, but ol' Auntie Beeb redeems herself on occasion with her impish sense of humour.

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From North Korea with love
27 September 2023

A US soldier who fled across the DMZ from South Korea to its northern neighbour is to be deported, rather than held in Kim Jong-un's fetid prison. While Pvt. Travis King may've been fleeing inhuman treatment in the US military, antipathy to racism and disillusionment with the unequal US society, at least he'll get some decent food now.

Canadian Club
26 September 2023

While Germany elevates minor actors to war criminal status, so as to hunt them down and try them before their actions—or lack thereof—are weighed in the balance of a higher court, Canada takes a refreshingly liberal approach to its own Nazis by inviting them to attend parliament.

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Slow news day
25 September 2023

On 18th April 1930, BBC radio's newsreader simply announced There is no news, followed by fifteen minutes of music to fill the segment. And that little item appeared as one of the most read today on BBC News online: The day there was 'no news' (not today). Except the (not today) doesn't refer to today's today, but the today of 18th April 2017.

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How!…?
23 September 2023

Three Canadian women have been accused of falsely claiming Inuit heritage to defraud indigenous organisations of benefits. It's a pretty shonky thing to do; some people simply have no morals. But it upset Aluki Kotierk, president of one such organisation, more than most.

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Pink broadcasting
22 September 2023

Channel 4 News lead anchor Krishnan Guru-Murthy is concerned that the British government is using platforms such as GB News, rather than engaging with public service broadcasters.

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Porky 🐷
21 September 2023

A Muslim woman has been sentenced to two years' jail time by an Indonesian court for eating pork after offering a brief Islamic prayer—Bismillah—and then posting the video to TikTok. On the spectrum of all that's stupid, that has gotta lie more towards the really-not-a-good-idea end. I'd've thought that, as a Muslim, she'd be behind Islam's strict prohibition on consuming pig; or at least cognisant of Indonesia's strict blasphemy laws.

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Taking the PiS
16 September 2023

A news item on a cash-for-visas scandal in Poland is most notable for introducing me to the country's governing Law and Justice party, PiS. Well, it made me laugh anyway. (embarrassed)

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Poo(h) law!
8 September 2023

Chinese lawmakers have drafted a law banning speech and dressing detrimental to the spirit of Chinese people. This includes wearing, or forcing others to wear, clothing considered to undermine the spirit or hurt the feelings of the Chinese nation. Whatever that means.

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Magician, heal thyself
31 August 2023

News of a coup in Gabon was enlightening mainly for bringing to my attention the name of the country's president: Ali Bongo.

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Will the real Slim Shady please grow up?
29 August 2023

It's a time-honoured tradition in US politics, whereby Republican campaigners use popular music to show that they're down wit' da kidz, and musicians order them to not use their performance for political gain. It's petty, but a recording is a recording, and recordings are covered by copyright restrictions on public performance, so fair enough.

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Photo op
25 August 2023

Orange Don and fellow travellers have handed themselves over to Fulton County Sheriff's office to have their mugshots taken. Some of the photos, however, have been criticised by experts in the field of taking snappy snaps, for their lack of professionalism.

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"Meaningful conversations"
3 August 2023

The Canadian prime minister, Justin Trudeau, and his wife are separating after eighteen years' marriage, following meaningful and difficult conversations. It's reassuring to know that this momentous change in their family's life wasn't decided upon after frivolous chit-chat. (rolleyes)

June is not enough
9 July 2023

Protesters in Georgia—the country, not the US state—stormed a Pride festival in the country's capital yesterday. The BBC News droid describes them as right-wing, which may well be the case; or they might simply be to the right of the droid's handlers. You can never be sure with the communards at the People's Republic of Portland Place. (shrug)

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Democracy with a big stick
17 June 2023

A terrorist attack on a Ugandan school, by rebels linked to Islamic State, left twenty-five victims dead and eight in critical condition. The wider death toll may be higher.

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Three-faced Don
16 June 2023

Donald Trump's appearance in a Miami federal court gave three court sketch artists the opportunity to flex their pastels. Bill Hennessy's work has been criticised as making the subject look far younger and trimmer than he really is, but he seemed unfazed by the backlash.

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The billionaires' club
15 June 2023

In the wake of George Soros handing control of his business and philanthropic empire over to his son, BBC Reel asks whether anyone should be allowed to inherit $25bn.

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Talking heads
14 June 2023

The UK's communications industry watchdog, Ofcom, is to canvas public opinion on politicians hosting current affairs programmes.

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You can't keep a bad dog down
11 June 2023

Laura Kuenssberg could just as well be referring to Donald Trump as Boris Johnson. Except, to the best of my knowledge, she only covers UK politics.

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Anarchy don't come cheap
18 May 2023

This is funny. As in so deluded, it's funny.

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Dour Don
7 April 2023

For the first time in its history, The New Yorker magazine used a courtroom sketch on its cover. Presumably for shitz 'n' gigglz. A pr0n actress, revelling in the spotlight of free publicity, said of the proceedings against an orange man:

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Camp Rwanda
3 April 2023

Perusing the BBC's home page from the sanctity of my bed this morning, I happened across this lead-line. And it got me thinking, which is always an uncomfortable experience early in the morning. Or at any time, really; but especially early in the morning.

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Forever and a day
30 March 2023

Disney and the governor of Florida, Ron DeSantis, have been spitting and calling each other poopyhead, ever since Mouse House tried to undermine Florida House (Bill 1557, the Parental Rights in Education Act). This has culminated in DeSantis pulling the plug on Disney's Reedy Creek Improvement District, which had previously given the company carte blanche to do pretty much whatever the hell it wanted with its Walt Disney World resort.

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No shit guv'nor
24 March 2023

In what can only be described as a big-brained moment, the governor of the Bank of England has warned that raising retail prices could drive up the cost of living and would most affect the least wealthy. No fucking shit! This must be why he earns the big bucks, having insight like that. (SMH)

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Talibomb
9 March 2023

Things haven't gone too smoothly in Afghanistan, since the Taliban came to power in August 2021. And not just for the populace, who probably wish that all these arseholes were martyred, so they could just get on with their lives.

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Hypocrisy, thy name art faded footballer
8 March 2023

Comrade Lineker has displeased the politburo of the People's Republic of Portland Place, by likening the UK's asylum policy to [cough] a certain period in Germany's history. He's to be spoken to and reminded of his responsibilities towards the republic. After all, antagonising the government draws its unwanted attention to the PRPP's other activities.

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Rong wregime
7 March 2023

China's new foreign minister, Qin Gang, put a shot across US President Pa's bows, when he vowed: Containment and suppression will not make America great.

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Is there a grindstone in the house?
3 March 2023

Disgraced former UK health secretary, Matt Hancock—emphasis on the cock—has published an account of his time as Kommandant Gefangenenlagers Großbritannien during the pandemic. Imaginatively enough, his opus—or should that be meisterwerk?—is entitled Pandemic Diaries: The inside story of Britain’s battle against Covid. Sounds riveting. (snooze)

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Poohan
1 March 2023

Whether the WuFlu originated from wildlife at a market or a laboratory is probably a moot point to most people. We know it originated somewhere in Wuhan, there's a clue in the name, and that's all that really matters.

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Modi operandi
14 February 2023

The BBC finds itself in a little spat with the Indian government, after a documentary painted the country's prime minister, Narendra Modi, in a none too flattering light.

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Oh, the irany
1 February 2023

An Iranian couple have been jailed for promoting corruption; prostitution; and propaganda, after posting a video of themselves dancing in the street beside Tehran's Azadi Tower (برج آزادی or Freedom Tower). Amply demonstrating that the Iranian authorities have nothing if not a sense of irony.

A sting in the tale
27 January 2023

Five black police officers are under investigation for the death of a black motorist in Memphis, TN. Race agitator and grifter, Rev. Al Sharpton, claimed: I do not believe these five black police officers would have done this had he been a young white man.

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Fish out of water
26 January 2023

First minister for Scotland, Nicola Sturgeon, is at it again. The it being not thinking things through to their logical conclusion. In the case of a transgender woman rapist being remanded in a women's prison, she seems to think that transgender women aren't a threat to real, biologically-relevant ones.

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No defence
16 January 2023

The announcement of the German defence minister's resignation is remarkable only for this observation on the post in question:

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What's the difference between 35 and 22?
31 December 2022

Investigative news magazine 60 Minutes Australia questions whether OzGov is being sold a pup, in the shape of the Joint Strike Fighter programme's Lockheed Martin F-35 Lightning II. The Aussie defence minister comes across as an arrogant prick, with a smug you-just-have-to-accept-I-know-what's-best demeanour, while a former senior RAAF leader waxes lyrical over his preference for the F-22 Raptor.

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INCOMING!!
28 December 2022

One of the downsides to President Pooh's relaxation of his sewer's Covid restrictions is that its denizens will be free to travel abroad as of next month. Undoubtedly bringing their pestilence, the incidence of which is rising, with them.

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And god created woman…and the Taliban
28 December 2022

Reacting to the Taliban's prohibition against women attending university, a nineteen year-old Afghan girl wishes god had never created women.

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Dolled up
27 December 2022

For those of us blissfully unaware that South Korea prohibited the import of sex dolls, it doesn't. At least not any longer, because officials have lifted the ban that was in place. This will come as a relief to some of the country's citizens more than others.

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Hijab hysteria
25 December 2022

The Taliban has banned women from working with non-governmental organisations, citing dress code violations. The UN has condemned the move as a contravention of fundamental human rights, while the US Secretary of State criticised it as devastating for the Afghan people.

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Beware of Greeks accepting gifts
13 December 2022

Greek MEP and one of no less than fourteen EU vice-presidents, Eva Kaili, is in a bit of a bind. It was seemingly with the best of intentions that she just recently tried to assuage Gary Lineker's angst over attending Qatar 2022:

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Not-so-peaceful prize
11 December 2022

This year's Nobel Peace Prize has been awarded to three people: Oleksandra Matviichuk of Ukraine; Ales Bialiatski from Belarus; and Russian, Yan Rachinsky. While Ms Matviichuk praised Mr Rachinsky's work and described Memorial [the Russian civil rights group which he heads] as our partner, she refused to be interviewed alongside him.

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Not reading the room
7 December 2022

In the wake of China's about-face cancellation of its zero-WuFlu policy, to the relief of many of its denizens, some have actually expressed concern over the sudden changes.

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A shortness of Trusst
4 December 2022

Nick Robinson, a presenter on BBC's Today programme, outlines eleven gambles that went wrong for Liz Truss. So far, so drear. She was, after all, the UK's shortest-serving prime minister; the only remarkable aspect of her tenure being how quickly she crashed and burned.

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The pied piper
2 December 2022

New York is hiring, if you're in the mind to fill the role of director of rodent mitigation. The Big Apple has a rat infestation problem, and the city's willing to pay well for a modern-day pied piper…or anyone sufficiently murine-adverse.

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Girls just wanna have fun
30 November 2022

The prime ministers of New Zealand and Finland—Jacinda Ardern, 42, and Sanna Marin, 37—have dismissed a journalist's suggestion that they met in Aukland because they're women of similar age.

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Free wees
23 November 2022

The UK's Supreme Court has ruled the Scottish government cannot hold a second independence referendum next October, without approval from the UK government. Scotland's first minister, Nicola Sturgeon, isn't happy; she'd prefer a free Scotland to be governed by Brussels rather than Westminster.

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Symbolic gesture
19 November 2022

The BBC is sending Gary Lineker, its most highly-paid mouth-breather, to Qatar to watch tosspots kick balls around fields. But, he's not excited by the prospect. Oh no. He's really only going so that he can champion the cause of human rights and raise awareness. Oh yes.

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Stolen future
16 November 2022

With the announcement that he intends to run for US president in 2024, and given his magnanimity in defeat, I'm calling it now: Donald J. Trump won't lose the election; it'll be stolen from him. (wink)

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Careful what you wish for
7 November 2022

New Hampshire Democrats thought they'd be clever. By running a campaign attacking a moderate Republican candidate, they planned for a bonkers rival, Gen. Don Bolduc (retd), to win his party's nomination for the Senate. Their incumbent senator would easily trounce him, thus retaining her seat in the upper house.

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Dead man running
26 October 2022

Merkan politics keep getting dragged up too often on even the little social media that I involve myself in: YouTube. It's just asinine and tedious. So I tend to avoid anything on the subject, unless it's particularly amusing.

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Third time's the charm…?
24 October 2022

Rishi Sunak has won what amounted to a one-and-a-quarter-horse race to become the UK's third prime minister, and the Conservative Party's third leader, in the space of less than two months.

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Souper
16 October 2022

Two spotty greebos protesting for Just Stop Oil threw what appeared to be tomato soup over Van Gogh's Sunflowers painting at London's National Gallery. This what appeared to be tomato soup wasn't just any old common-or-garden tomato soup though, but Heinz's cream of tomato soup. The very best of its kind. Fact!

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Lack of Trusst
15 October 2022

How long has Liz Truss been the UK's prime minister? Not very long.

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What a fool should keep to himself
10 October 2022

In what appears to be an effort to suck up to the nationalistic shitheads in its northwestern dominion, Elon Musk has thrown them Taiwan as a bone. But I'm sure he couldn't have an ulterior motive. Oh, no!

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What's a rom?
4 October 2022

Bros is a romcom that mixes up a dying genre with a same-sex relationship. Judging by the excruciating trailer though, it appears to be light on the com. So I guess that makes it a rom then.

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Just another four years…
8 September 2022

Ninety-six year-old Queen Betty is under medical supervision at her Scottish retreat. The leader of the opposition Labour Party, Sir Keir Starmer, is deeply worried about the aged birth-giver, which must be alarming for all who're close to her.

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Thank you for your support, I'll always wear it
7 September 2022

As Liz Truss takes over from BoJo as the UK's prime minister, she’s ousting her political rivals’ supporters from the Cabinet in favour of her own hench(wo)men. But she was only given the role by her party, not the great unwashed.

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Not privileged at all
24 August 2022

Paul Pelosi—husband of US speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi—has been sentenced to five days in jail, for driving under the influence of alcohol. Or, rather, for crashing his car under the influence of alcohol. Because that's what led to his arrest, innit?

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Send in the clown
3 August 2022

US House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's visit to Taiwan is not being met with great enthusiasm among the sabre-rattling shitheads of the island's north-west dominion.

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How to back a winner
3 August 2022

Voters in Missouri have voted on something. It may have been abortion rights, it may have been something else. Dunno, the BBC's reporters seem to have brought unrelated threads together in their story on Kansas' abortion vote, and somewhat confused the message.

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Justice is blind
20 July 2022

The US House of Representatives has passed the Respect for Marriage Act, which offers protection for interracial and same-sex marriages. Nevertheless, Democrats are concerned that the US Supreme Court could roll back same-sex marriage rights.

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So long, and thanks for all the cash!
13 July 2022

After overseeing the economic ruin of his country, Sri Lanka's former president, Gotabaya Rajapaksa, has fled to the Maldives. In a similar vein, his brother, the former finance minister, decided that a sojourn to the US was in order.

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Can you see his lips move?
13 July 2022

As the parliamentary Conservatives gather around to choose their new leader, the Labour Party leadership has called for a vote of no confidence in the prime minister. Which is rather like shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted. That vote was taken last week, when the government's ministers and underlings saw the writing on the wall, and collectively soiled themselves.

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The running man
12 July 2022

Olympian Sir Mo Farah has been praised for discussing his childhood trauma, being trafficked into the UK and forced into domestic servitude. The usual fawning yada-yada from the usual political, media, and celebrity suspects.

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BoJo gonna gogo?
6 July 2022

Now that both his chancellor and health secretary have resigned over the latest scandal to hit his premiership, we have to wonder how long BoJo can continue to bluff his way. When he appointed Chris Pincher as deputy chief whip earlier this year, he tacitly admitted to knowing that the old pervert had an unenviable reputation, referring to him as Pincher by name, pincher by nature.

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Bum vote
4 July 2022

Kenya heads towards national elections next month, and the country's spiralling cost of living has been a prominent feature on the campaign trail.

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Low interest
20 June 2022

The lead from the BBC's home page tantalises five ways in which the rise in US interest rates will affect you. Compelling, no?

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Two-faced Charlie
19 June 2022

As Commonwealth heads of state head to Rwanda for a knees-up, Prince Charles will be representing the Queen as the head of the Commonwealth. This will likely increase his chances of rubbing shoulders with BoJo, of whose Rwandan relocation plan he's not so keen.

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It's Istanbul, not Constantinople now
2 June 2022

Turkey—the country, not the bird or colossal failure—is rebranding itself to Türkiye. The purpose of this change is not to distract from President Erdogan's economic failings in the run-up to next year's elections. Oh no.

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Assault with a deadly weapon
29 May 2022

In the wake of recent mass-shootings in Buffalo and Uvalde, both of which involved the deadly use of semi-automatic weapons, US Vice-President Kamala Harris has denounced access to such firearms within the USofA(rmaments), stating: An assault weapon is a weapon of war.

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Chicken, egg; egg, chicken
28 May 2022

Dennis Butler was warned to slow down while passing a celebratory event in Charleston, WV, because children were playing there. When the convicted felon returned to fire on the crowd with a semi-automatic rifle, a bystander drew her own gun and popped a cap in his ass, killing him and saving innocent lives. Bloody good show, lady!

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A fitting send-off
25 May 2022

Only a day after US President 'Pa departed for home from a five-day trip to South Korea and Japan, North Korea marked the occasion with its very own salute to FJB: launching three ballistic missiles in less than an hour.

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Crazy guy, gun crazy
25 May 2022

Only ten days after an 18-year-old man shot dead ten people in a racially-motivated attack in Buffalo, NY, another has killed 21, including 19 children aged nine to eleven, at a school in Uvalde, TX. This second assailant launched his courageous attack on unarmed civilians with a handgun, a semi-automatic rifle, and high-capacity magazines.

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Elections: the outcome is all a matter of perspective
22 May 2022

Anthony Albanese will head Australia's first Labor government in almost a decade, as voters jumped ship from Scott Morrison's Liberal-National Coalition. Although all the votes have yet to be counted, Morrison has conceded defeat, and world leaders, as well as BoJo, have acknowledged the Labor Party's victory.*

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Political dishonesty
17 May 2022

It appears, quelle surprise!, that the Russian population receives a different narrative on the war in Ukraine to the rest of us. But one military analyst, retired colonel Mikhail Khodarenok, gave a frank and forthright assessment of the situation on Russian state TV: we are in total political isolation and the whole world is against us, even if we don't want to admit it.

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The right to bear scary arms
12 May 2022

A Californian federal appeals court has struck down a state ban on the sale of semi-automatic firearms to people under the age of 21. The reasoning is quite exceptional, albeit illogical. But what's logic got to do with US gun law?

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Foetal accident
10 May 2022

More controversy over five-letter words in Wordle. On 9th May, some users found that the answer was FETUS. The NYT claimed that this was coincidental. Nevertheless, the bonkers brigade thought that it was a deliberate attempt to comment on the US abortion debate.

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Having their meat and eating it
4 May 2022

As the US Supreme Court appears set to challenge women's right to abortion, conservative and religious pro-lifers hope that Roe vs Wade will be overturned. I can't help but wonder how many of them are vegetarian though.

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Old-fashioned communications
24 April 2022

Jacob Rees-Mogg, UK Cabinet minister for Brexit Opportunities and Government Efficiency,* is upsetting the peons. He's been leaving little notes on the desks of civil servants who have yet to return to the office, stating: Sorry you were out when I visited. I look forward to seeing you in the office very soon.

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Rwandan hotel
14 April 2022

The bouncing booby, UK Prime Minister BoJo, plans to fly asylum seekers to Rwanda, of all places, for processing. It's not clear whether they're given a return ticket, at UK tax payers' expense, or have to make their own way back. After all, if they did it once, they can surely do it again.

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Joining the lunatics
8 April 2022

Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson's appointment to the US Supreme Court fulfils President 'Pa's campaign pledge to put a black woman on the court. Consideration of the most suitable candidate is irrelevant. He just needed a black woman, presumably one with some legal experience. And preferably one who was on the giving, rather than the receiving, end of the justice system.

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Don't Say Ghey
2 April 2022

There's a good deal of outrage on social media that Florida's governor, Ron DeSantis, has moved to prohibit kindergarteners from being indoctrinated by rainbow mafia propaganda. Under the headline Florida lawmakers pass 'Don't Say Gay' bill, which is at best naïve and at worst inflammatory, the the world's most trusted international news broadcaster™ gave a partisan view on Florida's House Bill 1557, Parental Rights in Education:

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No noose is good news
31 March 2022

US President 'Pa has signed the Emmett Till Antilynching Act, thus making an act that hasn't occurred in decades a federal hate crime, punishable by up to 30 years' imprisonment. For what is also murder, punishable by up to life imprisonment or death. Think about it.

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Gender denial
24 March 2022

I cannot pretend that I understand the background, or care much, but there's a lot of discussion over the pond about what defines a woman. It seems like a strange question, because the answer's screamingly obvious to anyone with an above-room temperature IQ. But I think it may have something to do with US law, and twinkies' rights over normals.

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Liver hard, die young
20 February 2022

BoJo's bozos—AKA the UK government—are likely to drop plans to ban the import of foie gras, after several cabinet ministers raised concerns over upcoming dinner parties.

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First world nation
18 February 2022

Yesterday saw the lifting of Chongmask mandates in shops and restaurants in Switzerland. Proof of Chongvax is also no longer needed. By the end of next month, we should be able to go Chongmaskless on public transport.

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Truckers not truckin'
9 February 2022

As the Ottawan truckers' protest continues, Sam Cabral's there on the frontlines. Or not. Actually, he's in Washington—because, let's face it, it's gotta be brass monkeys in Ottawa right now—from where he outlines some thoughts as to how it might be brought to an end.

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Champagne conservative
9 February 2022

After we've discovered that Boozy BoJo has a pretty ropey taste in beer, is seems that his, or his carers', taste in champagne is more refined. At least, that appears to be a bottle of Veuve Cliquot to the left of the image.

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Skating on thin ice
8 February 2022

Wahey! Weibo's nationalistic shitheads are at it again. The it being brutally castigating their Olympians' performances, when failing to excel at things that they—the nationalistic shitheads, that is—wouldn't have a hope in hell of achieving in the first place. In particular, figure skater Zhu Yi, who fell a lot, leaving Team China out of the medals.

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Drinking piss
5 February 2022

As the pressure on BoJo over restriction-busting knees-ups at Downing Street increases, it appears that the PM was photographed at one event holding a can of beer.

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White men need not apply
18 January 2022

A think-piece on Substack, Hollywood's New Rules by Peter Kiefer and Peter Savodnik, exposes a new pattern of discrimination, in a land in which it's been rife for decades. This is yet another tit-for-tat, boot's-on-the-other-foot situation, in which people are awarded work not strictly on merit, but simply for not being heterosexual white men.

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Looks like a pig, walks like a pig…
18 January 2022

As we delight in BoJo's further embarrassment over restrictions-busting boozy knees-ups at Downing Street, his former chief adviser tried to blow all pretence of innocence-through-ignorance out of the water.

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Licence-free
17 January 2022

It's been a long time coming. But the winds of change are finally set to blow throughout the People's Republic of Portland Place.

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Jet powered
17 January 2022

In a bid to limit imports and encourage local production, the Nigerian central bank made 41 items ineligible for foreign exchange in 2015. The list included rice; tomatoes; toothpicks, of all things; and…private jets.

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Boozy nights
16 January 2022

While the rest of Britain was in lockdown, the studz 'n' wenchz of Westminster showed that they know how to PAAAR‑TAAY. Rules are made to be broken. Ask Matt Han(don)cock, he wrote them.

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NY jelly
11 January 2022

New York mayor, Eric Adams, has endorsed a bill allowing non-citizens to vote in local elections. It's not a universally-embraced decision. Opponents argue that the bill gives influence to people who have no commitment to the community, and who haven't put in the work and tax dollars.

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Stoner
11 January 2022

Protesters on the French overseas territory of St Pierre and Miquelon have attacked their MP, by pelting him with seaweed. Stéphane Claireaux took his ordeal stoically.

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Green sky thinking
2 January 2022

Following COP26, now is the time for politicians to make bold pledges; irrespective of achievability. Because grand, but empty, gestures are just what the world needs. Forget the implementation and actual impact, we'll fix that in post. Or not. (rolleyes)

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Levelling up?
18 December 2021

A story of further embarrassment for BoJo's government, over restrictions-busting office Christmas parties, is remarkable only for bringing to my attention the fact that there's a Department for Levelling Up, Housing and Communities within HMG. What the actual fuck is levelling up supposed to mean? (confused)

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Gagging order
17 December 2021

Russia's authorities like to throw their weight around. One of the ways that they do this, on the internet, is by demanding the removal of social media content that they deem to be illegal. Their definition of illegal, though, extends to content that is simply critical of them, or supportive of the opposition. Who could've possibly guessed? (thinking)

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Take THAT, Pooh!
17 December 2021

The US has previously accused China of genocide towards the Uighur muslims. Now, Congress has passed a bill, by an overwhelming majority, to prohibit imports from the Xinjiang region produced with forced labour.

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Give me the reason
16 December 2021

In an effort to slow the spread of Chongvirus Omicron, France's prime minister Jean Castex has announced tightened travel restrictions for visitors from the UK.

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Dutch oven
16 December 2021

Thierry Baudet, a right-wing Dutch MP, has been ordered by a court to remove Twitter posts likening restrictions against the unvaccinated to the treatment of Jews during the Holocaust.

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A tale of two cities
1 December 2021

Tel Aviv has pushed Paris into joint second place, alongside Singapore, as the most expensive city in the world in which to live. Less than 300km away lies Damascus, which claims the title at the other end of the scale.

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That's a turnip for the books!
1 December 2021

BBC News' Maddy Savage explains how Magdalena Andersson became Sweden's first female prime minister, twice! Except she didn't, really.

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Me, myself, I
30 November 2021

During his pre-trial hearing for participating in the US Capitol riot on 6 January, James Beeks claimed that the court had no jurisdiction over him because he had divine authority. I'm not sure whether he's claiming to be directly related to god, or just a messenger. Perhaps his stage role as Judas in Jesus Christ Superstar has gone to his head; although, from my limited knowledge of the Bible, playing Judas doesn't sound particularly divine.

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The piggy premium
26 November 2021

With news that a highly-mutated Chongvirus variant has been detected in southern Africa, the UK transport secretary, Grant Shapps, announced new travel restrictions as a safety-first approach. It at least demonstrates that lessons from the delta variant have been learned. Which is something, I suppose.

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27 down…
26 November 2021

The drowning of 27 illegal migrants in the English Channel is followed by the predictable handwringing from the great and the good. I wonder how many of them would actually turn their own back yards over to a camp?

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This little piggy…
26 November 2021

BBC News' quiz of the week starts off with a question about BoJo's enjoyment of a children's theme park. I hadn't read the article, so I didn't know the answer…

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Let's go…
20 November 2021

I've paid little attention to the Kyle Rittenhouse case. It's too mired in US politics, race relations, and gun law to be of even passing interest. Besides, polarising doesn't exacty float my boat.

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No mobile while mobile
19 November 2021

Things are getting tougher for the UK's drivers.

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NAP26
3 November 2021

Because we've all been there, haven't we?

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Acid tongue
14 October 2021

Claudia Webbe, ex-Labour and currently independent MP for Leicester East, has been found guilty of harassing Michelle Merritt, between September 2018 and April 2020, with, among other things, threats of acid and sending naked photos of Merritt to her family. The basis for these attacks was a relationship that Merritt allegedly had with Webbe's partner, Lester Thomas.

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The revolution will be televised…
28 September 2021

…for shitz 'n' gigglz.

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Just passing through
25 September 2021

File this wanton idiocy under dumb things press secretaries say.

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Let the punishment fit the crime
24 September 2021

The Taliban have announced that extreme punishments, including execution and amputation, will resume in Afghanistan. Mullah Nooruddin Turabi, who has an infamously zealous history in the pursuit of justice, claimed that amputations were necessary for security.

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Poohcom
23 September 2021

Lithuania's National Cyber Security Centre has reported security flaws and built-in censorship tools, in 5G mobiles from Chinese manufacturers. As a consequence, the country's Defence Ministry has recommended that its citizens not purchase new Chinese smartphones, and replace their current ones as soon as feasible.

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Learnons-nous Franglais avec BoJo
22 September 2021

In the wake of French outcry over the Aukus military pact between Australia; the UK; and the US, Boris Johnson demonstrated linguistic skills that match his capacity for tact and diplomacy. Speaking from Washington, en Franglais, he had this message for Emanuel Macron:

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Not forevergrande
21 September 2021

With the potential collapse of Evergrande, the world's most indebted real estate developer, the outlook for China's economy is looking a little precarious. They'll have to churn out more Chongmasks to compensate.

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When Supreme Leader says 'jump'…
3 September 2021

It must be easy to be a dictator. All you have to do is tell your minions what to do, and they'll do it. Job done!

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Too much too young
19 August 2021

While the Catholic League mither over a Muppet Babies episode fostering transitioning among preschoolers, the Scottish government is going all-in once they get to school. It has published guidance for schools on supporting transgender young people; with young people defined as children or young people who are of school age.

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Idiots 0 : 1 Taliban
16 August 2021

Following the removal of allied forces from Afghanistan, the Taliban curiously reneged on their promise not to be naughty, and have rapidly captured most of the country, including the capital, Kabul. Twenty years of sacrifice, for nothing. I suppose Grandpa Joe now wishes that he'd asked for a pretty pinky promise with a bow on top.

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Too close to call?
12 August 2021

Flordelis dos Santos de Souza has been expelled from Brazil's lower house of Congress, for allegedly plotting her husband's murder in 2019.

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Karaoke should be illegal
11 August 2021

China is to ban karaoke songs with illegal content, including songs which incite ethnic hatred and ethnic discrimination.

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Take me home, racist roads
10 August 2021

Thus opens Tara McKelvey's report on Biden's unlikely plan to use roads to fight racism. Note the quotes that she uses around the word racist. Could it be that she's using someone else's description, but it's one that she herself is sceptical about? If so, good for her, she might just be a critical thinker, and therefore a cut above the average BBC News mouth-breather.

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Sore losers
3 August 2021

It appears that Weibo's nationalist shitheads don't take kindly to China's Olympic athletes unpatriotically losing out on gold. From behind their keyboards and keypads, they fulminate and humiliate their fellow countrymen and ‑women for failing at something that they could never achieve themselves. And the athletes, like dumfux, accept it.

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Time is running out
3 August 2021

And it's a race to the finish line!

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China doesn't do naughty things on the internet
20 July 2021

Several governments have accused China of hacking Microsoft Exchange. China, in return, has strongly denied these claims, and has always maintained that it opposes all forms of cyber-crime.

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Home aid
11 July 2021

The UK government has recently announced a reduction in its foreign aid from 0.7% to 0.5% of national income, to compensate for the pandemic. In her response, Kate Hampton, chief executive of the Children's Investment Fund Foundation, referred to past years' British taxpayer generosity.

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Kim Jong-un, when him gon-un?
30 June 2021

North Korea's gluttonous glorious leader, Kim Jong-un, has castigated his top officials for lapses with severe consequences related to the Chongvirus.

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Make mine an hypocrisy on the rocks
25 June 2021

The UK health secretary, Matt Hancock—emphasis on the cock—has been a naughty boy. He's been caught flouting his very own social distancing guidelines, by kissing an aide who he hired. C'mon, give the guy a break. It wouldn't have been much of an affair if they'd maintained social distancing requirements, FFS! (rolleyes)

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Disunite the right!
25 June 2021

A statue of George Floyd—career criminal and patron saint of fentanyl—situated in Brooklyn, New York, has been vandalised. Presumably by an art connoisseur. It was daubed with the website address of a far-right group called Patriot Front. So far, so what?

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E or H2?
11 June 2021

The BBC's chief environment correspondent, Justin Rowlatt, tells us Why it's the end of the road for petrol stations.

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Pleasies don't comsies
11 June 2021

While on an official vist to Guatamala, US Vice-President Kamala Harris has urged its citizens not to make the journey to the US to enter illegally.

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The fifteen percenters
5 June 2021

Finance ministers from the G7 group of leading economies are meeting in London to come to agreement on taxation of multinational companies. Some nations are upset that their taxation greed is driving multinational companies to find more tax-efficient countries to establish themselves.

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Bada Bing, bada boom
5 June 2021

Tank Man was an iconic symbol of the 1989 student protests in Tiananmen Square. A lone, unidentified man stood in front of a column of Chinese PLA tanks, only moving as the lead tank tried to manoeuvre around him, to once again block its path. China has censored all reference to this protest within the country. The L in PLA is as ironic as Tank Man is iconic.

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Asparagus: too exciting for lawyers
2 June 2021

Belgian lawyers discovered a six-step recipe for asparagus hidden within the French text of the nation's official journal, Moniteur Belge.

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Annihilation of conscience?
1 June 2021

A Chinese blogger, Qiu Ziming, has been jailed for slandering heroes and martyrs after criticising Chinese soldiers who died during clashes at the border with India.

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My mum's newspaper, as an audiobook
27 May 2021

YouTube's algorithm is broken. Again. Or possibly it's because I can't set preferences, since I'm not signed into an account that I don't have. Whatever, the borg keeps bringing up The Podcast Of The Lotus Eaters and, worse, Alex Bellend Belfield, the self-styled voices in his head voice of reason in my recommended videos. For the love of the children, why?

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When is not a ban, a ban?
25 May 2021

Following his deplatforming from social media, Donald Trump's bestie, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, has signed a bill to penalise technology companies that deplatform politicians. This legislation is, apparently, for everyday Floridians. As long as they're politicians, presumably.

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The new Thinkpol in training
5 May 2021

Sarah Hewitt-Clarkson, head teacher at Anderton Park primary school, is instilling her pupils with a nice little Orwellian ethic. Children have been taught to call out sexist language and even to identify sexist stereotypes in books and worksheets. And the programming training starts at the age of three years in the nursery school.

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The transsporting life
3 May 2021

In the same interview in which he announced his surgical diminution, Elliot Page objected to bans on transgender girls playing in girls' sports. (snowflake)

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Mmmmm-mmmm minty!
30 April 2021

Menthol cigarettes are disproportionately harmful to black smokers, apparently, which is why the Biden administration aims to ban them. Opponents of the ban, which include rabble-rouser Al Sharpton, claim that banning a product that is most popular among African Americans is discriminatory. So, one side wants to ban menthol cigarettes because they discriminate against blacks, while the other side opposes the ban because it discriminates against blacks. At least that's clear.

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Friday on my mind
22 April 2021

As India reports the highest daily number of new Chongvirus cases anywhere—314,835 in the last 24 hours, as well as a new mutant strain—London Heathrow Airport is refusing to increase the number of flights from the subcontinent before it's added to the UK's red list on Friday. Meanwhile, the UK's former chief scientific adviser, Prof. Mark Walport, believes that the addition of India to the red list may already have come too late.

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Political football
20 April 2021

For reasons that are too boring to recount here, a select few top-tier European football clubs are planning an exclusive European Super League. For other reasons, that are similarly too boring, many people are upset by the proposal. A third group cannot give a shit one way or the other; this is a mark of disinterest, not constipation.

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My statistics are better than yours
2 April 2021

How prophetic. Within a couple of days of Greenpeace and Possible mithering over frequent flyers, comes news that India has ridiculed long-term targets for net zero greenhouse gas emissions as pie in the sky.

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Curfew quarrel
25 March 2021

Following the abduction of Sarah Everard in south London, police officers working on the case in the area advised women not to go out alone and to be careful; which doesn't seem too unreasonable, since the perpetrator was still at large at the time. But Baroness Jones of Moulsecoomb's response in the House of Lords upset a number of people, and was widely ridiculed:

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Return to normal
23 March 2021

As a mass shooting at a Boulder, Colorado supermarket leaves ten people dead, it would be the mark of a true cynic to see any light in this tragedy.

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Unmasked!
7 March 2021

Here in Switzerland, the Schweizerische Volkspartei (SVP)—the right-wing Swiss People's Party—has narrowly won a referendum to ban the wearing of face coverings in public. While ostensibly aimed at banning all face coverings, including those used by violent street protestors to hide their identity, there is no doubt that this is primarily aimed at the minority muslim population. Indeed, the SVP campaign was supported with slogans such as stop extremism.

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Arrogance, pollie-waffle style
18 January 2021

According to the Victorian premier, Daniel Andrews, tennis players living under strict quarantine rules after arriving for the Australian Open will get no special treatment. Ummm, other than jumping the queue for entry to the country over 37,000 Australian citizens who have been trying to get home for months?

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(Im)peachy
14 January 2021

In the final days of his presidency, as Orange Don becomes the first US President to be impeached twice, the BBC asks its voter panel for their opinion, in an article grandly entitled Americans react to historic second Trump impeachment.

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Dodging a bullet?
8 January 2021

As Trump Republicans invade the Capitol, outgoing US President Donald Trump snubs the inauguration of President-Elect Biden, while also facing calls for a second impeachment and to be thrown out of office. And, thus, one of the most divisive US presidencies comes to an inglorious end. Not that it was too auspicious at the best of times.

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How many Republicans does it take to confirm a judge?
27 October 2020

Orange Don's nomination for the US Supreme Court, Judge Amy Coney Barrett, has been confirmed by the US Senate in a 52-48 vote. According to the BBC's report, Mr Trump's fellow Republicans voted 52-48 to approve the judge, overcoming the unified opposition of Democrats.

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Silly sausage
21 October 2020

One of the, ahem, meatier subjects to be debated by the European Parliament this week is when is a sausage not a sausage?

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Losing your head
19 October 2020

In the wake of the brutal murder of a French teacher by an Islamic fundamentalist, thousands have rallied across France to support and honour him.

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Viral leadership
2 October 2020

Not so long ago, I was musing to myself on some of Ronald Reagan's bon mots; how he used self-deprecating humour to disarm his detractors. While his rise to the highest office was met with derision from some quarters, he oversaw some truly ground-breaking moments in history, and has generally positive approval ratings. Yet, John Hinckley Jr attempted his assassination.

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A pub with no cheer
29 September 2020

And, speaking of isolation, meeting others in pubs is to be banned in the north east of England. Which rather defeats the object of going to the pub in the first place.

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I spy
28 September 2020

As BoJo the yo-yo clamps down further on freedom in HMP GB, fines of £1,000 are being introduced for people failing to self-isolate in England, escalating to £10,000 for repeat offenders. According to the UK government, the police can use local intelligence to check that the inmates great British citizenry are complying.

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Complete the following sentence
16 September 2020

Changes to the criminal justice system in England and Wales are heralded by the BBC with the headline: Serious criminals to serve more time in jail in justice shake-up. Which obviously begs the question, what jail term do flippant criminals have to serve?

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Disney Minus
6 September 2020

Reviews of Disney's live action remake of Mulan have been generally mixed to favourable. I like the story, and I was looking forward to this release. But…hnnng, I can't.

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Sponger sponging
26 August 2020

The UK government's scheme to get more people eating in restaurants during August has not been an unqualified success. Some hospitaliers have complained about abuse towards staff; that the influx of custom is focussed between Monday and Wednesday, when the scheme is in effect, leaving the weekends quiet; and that support would have made more impact during the off-season period, when it's more needed.

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School's out
20 August 2020

As a result of the pandemic, school exams in the UK have been cancelled and, for those all-important ones that influence students' future career paths, the results have been replaced with predictions. But, not all predictions are equal. Many students were angry and distressed when their results were first announced, and they hadn't done as well as they had expected. Funnily enough, this is not a new thing. But what is new is that the results were predicted centrally, using a statistical algorithm. I cheerfully admit to knowing bugger all about the algorithm, other than it gives substantial weight to schools' past performance as well as other factors.

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Taking a fall
8 August 2020

I'd not heard of Jerry Falwell Jr, the president of Liberty University, a US evangelical Christian college, until he stepped down from his position following an unfortunate social media faux pas in which he posted a photo of him with his arm around a pregnant woman who wasn't his wife. For shame!

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Pas de chokehold, pas de mort
16 July 2020

Whereas, in the US the public protests when police are accused of racially-motivated excessive use of force, in France it's the police who take to the streets.

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Some hope!
15 July 2020

As part of a £30bn plan to reinvigorate the UK economy and prevent mass unemployment, HMG is to cut VAT—sales tax—on hospitality from 20% to 5% until next January, as well as offering £1,000 to companies for every employee that they keep on staff for three months after the end of the furlough scheme in October. Not only that, but the Chancellor will give a 50% discount to diners eating out during August.

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Biter bit
1 November 2019

In Indonesia, Mukhlis bin Muhammad of the Aceh Ulema Council helped draft strict adultery laws in compliance with Islamic Sharia law. So it was a surprise nice to read that he was caught with a married woman who's not his wife, and has been publicly flogged 28 times. Deep joy.

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Christmas is cancelled
28 October 2019

The British Meat Processors' Association warns of the effect of Brexit on seasonal EU labour in the UK. Apparently, there will not be enough pigs in blankets to go 'round. According to the association's chief executive, Nick Allen, wrapping cocktail sausages in bacon is manual labour and is fiddly and hard to mechanise.

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The elixir of youth. Or not?
19 March 2019

Kazakh president Nursultan Nazarbayev has resigned at the insanely young age of only 78. He has been the sole president of the oil- and mineral-rich nation since its independence from the Soviet Union in 1990.

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Government of the people, by [some of] the people, for the party
12 March 2019

The BBC reports its, and possibly others', surprise as North Korean leader Kim Jong-un did not appear on the ballot for election to the country's parliament, the Supreme People's Assembly. His sister, Kim Yo-jong, was elected, although that should come as no surprise in a meaningless vote.

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President Pooh
4 February 2019

Winnie the Pooh is one of my youngest daughter's favourite characters, so I don't know she would take it knowing that his name is censored on Chinese search engines and social media. Apparently, naughty people have been likening Christopher Robin's silly old bear to Chinese dictator President Xi Jinping, which is quite ridiculous since they look nothing like each other.

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Quote of the week
24 January 2019

Italian populist politicians Luigi di Maio and Matteo Salvini have accused France of exploiting Africa. In response, France's minister for Europe, Nathalie Loiseau, was quoted as saying we won't enter into a stupidity contest.

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The unruly minority
11 September 2018

Unauthorised gypsy and traveller camps are a disruptive, and expensive, societal problem in the UK. And the government is being urged to make deliberate trespass a criminal offence.

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Air Force FUN!
28 February 2018

Hotel magnate and US President, Donald Orange Don Trump, has renegotiated a deal with Boeing to supply two new presidential Air Force Ones. Huh? (confused)

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Same old, same old
15 February 2018

Another day, another mass murder at a US school, when a 19-year-old armed with an assault rifle killed at least seventeen people at a high school in Parkland, Florida. School shootings in the US have become so common-place that they hardly make anything other than local news. But Florida's Senator, Marco Rubio, stated that it was too soon to jump to conclusions that there was some law that we could have passed that would have prevented it, while the state's Governor, Rick Scott, also refused to discuss gun control.

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Bonkers, but not in a benign way
10 August 2017

North Korea has escalated its sabre rattling, and now threatens a rocket strike on the US territory of Guam.

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Trump vs Trudeau
16 January 2017

The BBC has run a fluff piece on five areas where Canada's prime minister Justin Trudeau and US President-elect Donald Trump have common ground.

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Rev. Ian Paisley: dun frothin'
12 September 2014

Ian Paisley, Democratic Unionist Party party leader and man of the cloth, if only touching it, is no more.

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Minorities, West Country style
24 April 2014

Yes, it's a proud day for the Cornish as they're officially recognised as a minority. Presumably this means they'll officially be allowed to complain of discrimination.

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The not-so-diplomatic bag
7 February 2014

Victoria Nuland, the US assistant secretary of state, was embarrassed to find her comments on the EU's role in the current Ukraine crisis broadcast on the internet. In an arrogant and underhand conversation with the US ambassador to Ukraine, Ms Nuland reveals her true feelings on the issue: Fuck the EU.

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Greek tragedy
13 September 2013

As part of its austerity drive the Greek government has scrapped six days of annual leave awarded to civil servants since 1989 for using computers. According to Reform Minister Kyriakos Mitsoakis this perk belonged to another era.

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Do US officials know what they're talking about?
21 August 2013

Private First Class Bradley Manning, who was convicted of charges including espionage after leaking US military secrets to Wikileaks, has been sentenced to thirty five years in prison. The items that he leaked included video of a US Apache helicopter killing civilians in Baghdad.

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Please, no Morsi
3 July 2013

In the face of escalating hostility a defiant Mohammed Morsi has stated that he will not step down as Egypt's president, and that he would give his life to defend constitutional legitimacy.

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A Mormon moment (not really)
16 November 2012

During the 2012 US presidential election, much* was made of Mitt Romney's Mormon faith, and how it was seen as a negative trait for his candidature. But it's useful to reflect on the fact that not all Mormons are the same, and their faith doesn't dictate an identical world view.

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Good caption
9 November 2012

In an otherwise boring article about Conservative MP Nadine Dorries' unscheduled sojourn to the Australian jungle, this caption struck me as pretty sage advice.

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Hubris: how gay!
9 November 2012

In a perhaps unguarded moment during a light-hearted radio interview, New Zealand's prime minister John Key referred to a presenter wearing a gay red top. This outraged some who construed it as a slur against the homosexual community. Key later defended himself, stating that he used the word gay to mean weird rather than as a deliberate offence; the Oxford English Dictionary notes its use in this manner to mean foolish, stupid, or unimpressive.

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Obama re-elected. Twice.
7 November 2012

According to the BBC, Obama has been re-elected, and in addition he's been re-elected as US president. I'm not sure what the first election was for, but I'm sure he's very happy nonetheless.

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Tits oot fer the lads! A political protest by the PHWOAR! Party
24 October 2012

Femen, a Ukrainian radical feminist movement, is fighting against patriarchy, in its three manifestations: sexual exploitation of women, dictatorship and religion. They accomplish this by radically protesting while topless, which has got to hurt during the Ukrainian winter.

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Fiction becomes reality?
18 September 2012

There's something about Mitt Romney, Republican nominee to challenge Barack Obama, that reminds me of Greg Stillson, The Dead Zone's batshit-crazy US president. Creepy, and scary.

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Tits oot fer the lads! Or 'hubris, thy name art Royal scandal'
18 September 2012

After some innocent holiday snaps taken of a picturesque French chateau were shown to include views of Kate's knockers, they were offered for sale to the British press; the photographs of ma'am's mamms that is, not the royal jugs themselves.

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Bemorecreativegate
4 September 2012

Ever since the Watergate scandal, lazy journalists and politicians have referred to controversies as whatevergate. The Iran-Contra affair was Irangate, there's been more than one memogate, while the UK had both hackgate and murdochgate for one affair, and France had Twittergate. And there are many, many others.

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Honour and offer
29 August 2012

The Great British Members of Parliament are whinging again. This time it's that too many honours go to the elite few—businessmen, politicians, and celebrities—for just doing the day job.

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Burgers or babies?
25 June 2012

Experts at Nuffield Health state that more than half of British women have waists that are larger than the recommended healthy size.

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Do as we say, not as we do!
12 March 2012

There is a programme on Henan Legal Channel—one of the Chinese state-run TV channels—entitled Interviews Before Execution, in which Ding Yu interviews prisoners before they're executed. Contrary to being exploitative, the programme makers claim to find cases that will serve as a warning to others. Indeed, the programme calls for human nature to awaken and perceive the value of life.

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Wot you lookin' at?
27 January 2012

Those sons of fun at the USAsian FBI plan to develop—or, rather, have developed for them—a handy-dandy tool that will sniff its way through social networks and suck up all the terrorist plots. Certain keywords that are only used by bad people plotting naughtiness can be added. These will trigger the hairs on the backs of their necks, and bring their righteous wrath down on the sorry arses of Osama and his like-minded friends.

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Glad I'm a freeloader
17 January 2012

The English version of Wikipedia/Wikipaedia/Wikipædia will be offline for 24 hours as Jimmy Wales and like-minded friends protest anti-piracy legislation in merka. This is after he stated that he wouldn't use Wikipædia for political purposes. All of which makes me glad that I didn't give the little shitstain any money after all.

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Kim Jong-il: 'im gone-il
19 December 2011

Merry Christmas everyone, the funniest part of Team America: World Police has finally done the decent thing!

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Gone with the wind
4 February 2011

Heinz's bullish predictions for boosting baked bean sales in Africa took a turn for the worse when Malawi's justice minister interpreted environmental fouling legislation as criminalising farting. That's right kids, cracking one off in public could become a misdemeanour in Malawi.

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Not so anonymous
27 January 2011

Ahh, yes, Anonymous, that eclectic band of spineless ne'er-do-wells selfless heroes righting wrongs on t'internet.

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Poor Kate (sad)
10 January 2011

Those heartless commie bastards at ASLEF, the railway workers' union, are threatening to call a tube strike on the day of the Royal wedding. It seems that poor Kate will have to make alternative arrangements to get to the church.

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Herstory
29 October 2010

I can't recall how I came across herstory, but it made me laugh anyway. As a politically-correct term for history viewed through a feminist lens, or a demasculinisation of history, it's nonsensical. It seems to be predicated on the notion that history is somehow innately masculine—because it's got his in it, innit?

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Oo-er Matron!
6 July 2010

One of Kensington and Chelsea Council's hospitals hired out a closed, but fully-functioning, ward to a porn company, presumably one looking for authenticity in its art. The council's director at the time, and now Conservative MP, Penny Mordaunt responded:

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Plant a tree, save a child
15 June 2010

Okay, not quite, but I liked this story nonetheless.

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Ungrateful little arsewipe!
4 June 2010

Following the shootings in Cumbria, the United Kindom's very own, finely-coiffured prime minister has visited the area to get his face in the news and pretend he cares show solidarity with the local populace. But some tosser has the temerity to complain to the BBC's reporter: One man told me he was angry that it has taken a shooting for the prime minister to visit the town.

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The irony is almost touching!
6 May 2010

A KKK leader has shot dead a recruit named Lynch.

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Financial crisis? What financial crisis?
30 April 2010

Senior staff at the US Securities and Exchange Commission have been taking some downtime from the financial crisis, with a little pr0n-fuelled R 'n' R.

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The Queens' Regiment
19 March 2010

Gen. Bonkers (retd) claims that Dutch leaders had told him that Srebrenica fell due to openly gay soldiers in the defending Dutch army. So far, so mundane, but this quote from the BBC puzzled me:

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OMG, there's more of them out there, just waiting…waiting…
16 March 2010

Just when you thought that the interwebz were awash enough with dumb yanks, it turns out that a third of the poor souls don't have broadband at home. But they shall not weep, for the US government shall provide. Although perhaps this is over-egging the pudding a tad:

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You tell 'em Nige!
25 February 2010

Nigel Farage, MEP for the United Kingdom Independence Party, has launched a tirade against the grey mouse, Herman Van Rompuy, the President of the European Council. Go get 'em tiger!

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I'd like a 'P' please, Bob
20 April 2005

Strangely, I was looking for ways to make yummy processed peas, like tinned marrowfat peas, because we can't get them easily in Switzerland. During my research, I happened across guidance from the Food and Agriculture Organisation and World Health Organisation on processed pea standards. I kid you not.

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